Tears of Yesterday By Misha-Chan

Disclaimer- Oh, come on! Anyone who knows anything about Sailor Moon knows that I do NOT own the series or anything in them. Naoko Takeuchi has that pleasure, not me. I wish I did, but I don't. I'm also not making any money off using them in this story so please don't sue me.

Author's Notes- This story is kind of weird. It's set in the Silver Millennium, but things are different. Beryl attacked and Prince Endymion died, but Princess Serenity did not. This story is through her eyes. It's ten years since the war with Beryl and she's reflecting on the people she lost and how the war changed her. It's pretty angsty, but I hope you'll like it.

Ten years.

It's been ten years since the war with Beryl.

Most people don't even consider it a war, after all it only lasted nine days. And that's including the battles fought on Earth.

Still, it's mentioned in the history books as a war.

But that's for my sake.

Who am I? I am Neo-Queen Serenity of the Moon Kingdom, Regent Queen of Earth, Heir to the throne of Venus.

Before the war I was only Princess Serenity, Serena as my dearest friends called me.

That war tore my world apart and to me it was very much a war.

My subjects respect my wishes that that battle be remembered, as well those that gave their lives.

That reminds me of why I am outside the palace, the new one. My mother's palace was destroyed in the war.

I walk towards the beautiful monument I had erected as tribute to those who were lost to us.

I quietly read the writing as I had many times before.

I pause when I get to the list of those who had given their lives. A few names jumped out at me.

Princess Minako of Venus.

Mina. My adored Mina. She was my cousin, but we were more like sisters.

It amazes me that she never resented me for the fact that it was her duty to protect me if anything should happen. In the end she did her job. She laid down her life to save mine.

Princess Hotaru of Saturn.

Dear little Holly, that was our name for her. For the Soldier who must never awaken. But she did and it was she who ended the battle. She used her Silence Glaive to kill Beryl, but it was a double edged blade and to kill Beryl it would also have to kill her. She knew this, but she still chose to give up her life.

I blink back a tear for the poor girl and return to the list of names.

Princess Rei of Mars.

Rei.

A tear rolls down my cheek when I read her name.

She was my best friend in the entire world, not that either one of us would have admitted it. We always augured, right up until the end. But at the end she had been willing to lay down her life for me. And if she had given me the chance I would have done the same for her.

I turn back to the list and my throat catches as I read the next four names.

General Malachite, General Zoicite, General Jadeite, and General Nephlyte.

They had been the guardians of my beloved and they had loved my guardians. But that viper Beryl had turned them against us and it had been they that had led the

attack against my home. I scan down the list until I come to the two last names.

Prince Endymion of Earth.

"Darien." I whisper, using the nickname that all his friends used.

Even after ten years the memories of my beloved are still very poignant.

Some people think that he was to blame for the war, that we both were. That if we had never loved it would have never loved.

They might be right, but we could not have never loved. He was in my soul and I was in his.

Even though he's been gone for the last ten years, I still feel that he's with me. He's the only one I've ever loved and will ever love.

He's the father of my daughter.

Yes, I have a daughter.

Darien and I were lovers during those last few months together, but I remember that we were very careful to avoid pregnancy. Except that last time, just days before the end. Maybe Darien knew what would happen, I don't know.

But I do know that I am eternally grateful for our daughter. It is on her behalf I am Regent of Earth. I have no right to the throne of Earth, nor do I want it.

But she does. Before Endymion's mother died a few years back she openly acknowledged Serenity Irene, Rini for short, as her heir.

I blink back a tear and come to the last name on the list.

Our Beloved Queen Serenity.

"Mother." I whisper, more tears running down my face.

I still miss her more than anything. Her death just made everything worse and more real.

I was 16, three of my guardians were dead, the four Earth Generals had turned on us, my lover was gone, and my mother was dead. Suddenly, after years of being coddled and protected, I was on my own. I was the queen.

It was hard at first. Especially after I learnt about the baby, but I did it. In time I became the queen I was always meant to be.

I am not my mother and I will never be her, but I am a good queen on my own.

I look at the monument once more and then swallow.

I am here for a reason.

"It's been ten years." I begin. "Ten years without you guys. Still, I think about you all all the time. Mina, you don't know how often I pick up my communicator to talk to you only to remember that you're gone. Mina, I never told you this, I always thought you knew, but now I will. Mina, you weren't a cousin to me, you were a sister. That was how I always thought of you and how I always will, as my beloved sister."

I bite my lip for a minute, picturing the pretty face framed with golden hair that was so like my own.

After a minute I'm ready to speak again.

"Holly, you were so young and yet you made a choice that would have been hard for someone who was three times your age. Every day I think about the choice you made and how brave you were to make it. I'll never forget you."

My voice cracks a little at the last words and I pause again before moving on.

"Rei. You were my best friend. I know we argued a lot, but I know that you cared as much about me as I did about you."

I have so more I could say, but I know that I will end up breaking down if I do and I can't.

So I move on.

"Malachite, Jadeite, Zoicite, and Nephrite. You were my friends, my love's most trusted guards, the men my dearest friends loved. So I loved you too. And then you betrayed us. But I know it wasn't you. I know that the men I knew would never have willingly submitted to that witch, still I know that whoever you are now that you feel horrible for what your bodies did. So I'll say these words. I forgive you."

I sniffle slightly as I remember those four men and then I smile sadly before beginning to speak again.

"Mother. Oh, what can I say? I love you. You were my mother and you meant the world to me. It's only now, after Rini, that I can truly appreciate how much you must have loved me. And I thank you for that. I'll never forget you and I'll make sure that Rini knows all about her wonderful grandmother."

I promise, another tear running down my cheek. I wipe it away and take a deep breath before addressing the last person.

"Endymion. I loved you so much, you were everything to me. You still are. You are the only man I'll ever love. I know that you would want me to love again, but I'm not capable of it. I gave my heart to you so completely that I could never recover it. Not that I want to. The only man I ever wanted was you. And even though you're gone, at least you're not lost completely to me. I have a piece of you with me always. Rini, our daughter. When I look at her I think of you, thanks to her I'll never forget you my love."

I finally begin to cry and bury my face in my hands as I stand in front of that monument.

Still I had to finish.

"I love you all and I'll never stop, nor will I ever forget any of you. But I have let go. So, while I'll never forget, I will let you go. Goodbye my friends, my dearest mother, and my beloved. One day we will meet again."

I look at the monument and smile sadly for what used to be then I walk away.

They are gone and have been for ten years.

Still I'll never forget them or the battle they died in.

Nor will I forget the tears I cried for them.

The tears of yesterday.

The End