Dappledpaw had plenty of sympathy for Rowanfall, sure. She was delicate about the subject of how he'd become a warrior and all… Still, her impatience was something she had trouble pushing down to be the bigger cat about.
The second time! The second time now her test had been interrupted, that she had not been made a warrior! Her chance to impress by becoming a warrior earlier than normal was about to slip away in a matter of days. Rowanfall had already beaten her to that anyway, of course, but it still stung. A moon ago she had been on the verge of being a warrior, and now somehow she was still an apprentice.
Sedgepaw didn't have her ambition. He wanted to be a warrior too, but he was far more relaxed about the when of it all. And she knew he was getting annoyed with her complaining about it, and so she left it be. Mostly. She couldn't help but bring it up again every time Icestar did not give her a definitive answer on when their next chance would be.
"Dappledpaw, I thought we had already been over this." The white tom had frowned when she had brought it up earlier that morning at their training session. He stiffened up from his combat crouch. They had been about to start sparring again.
"I know, I just-"
"I told you I have bigger concerns right now Dappledpaw." Icestar cut over her sharply, causing her to lower her head and flatten her ears submissively. "The gathering is days away; Flaxclan may very well attack us before then. Your assessment can wait."
"... Yes sir." She muttered, looking away. She shouldn't have asked.
She heard Icestar inhale deeply through his nose. When he spoke again, his rough voice was kinder. "I understand your frustration, Dappledpaw. You deserve to be a warrior, but you must think of the bigger picture… You are no less effective to me as an apprentice, for now."
She looked back, straightening. "I know, Icestar. I just want to serve you and Gorseclan as best I can."
"And you will." He inclined his head, and fixed her with his fiery eyes for a moment. "But do not keep harassing me about this, Dappledpaw. You have a persistent issue in this area. A loyal Gorseclan warrior does not question their leader's judgement."
Shame suddenly turned her ears hot, and so she said nothing, mutely nodding. Icestar believed in her, had trained her for moons, and here she was hassling him. He knew best… "You are headstrong; a typical young strong Gorseclan personality. It's nothing to be ashamed of; it simply requires careful tempering." Icestar continued. "With my valuable training." She nodded again. "Then let's get back to it."
Later, after a sparring session, Dappledpaw was helping repair a patch in the warriors den with Blackbird when she noticed Rowanfall speaking with Longfang outside the herbalist's den. She paused in the careful weaving of thorns across the side of the den; bolstering its size from the naturally formed overhang formed by the stone. Longfang was lingering in the entrance of his den; his body language was reluctant. The spotted tabby's large ears were angled back, his tail twitching erratically. He seemed to be stammering in response to whatever Rowanfall was saying to him, but they were too far away for her to pick up, even when she strained her ears to listen.
"Dappledpaw, pay attention or you'll hurt yourself." Blackbird's voice cut into her observations. The apprentice startled slightly, then let out a small laugh, her paws hovering over the gorse and blackberry. Weaving such pointy defences into their camp was a Gorseclan skill that took time and patience to master. A shaky paw or wrong move could get a cat a painful reminder in staying focused.
"Right, sorry Blackbird."
The sleek black she-cat blinked owlishly at her for a moment. "Are you worried about him?"
"Who? Rowanfall? No, not really. He'll be fine." Dappledpaw was surprised by the question for a moment. "Just wondering what he's talking to Longfang about."
Blackbird didn't look entirely convinced by her reasoning, though Dappledpaw had no idea what else the warrior thought she would be thinking. "He was talking with Horsefoot this morning too." She said finally, making an observation. Her voice took on a sad edge. "Perhaps they are discussing their grief. They should, it's healthy." Her brother had not been… himself, since Kowhaifall died.
Dappledpaw hummed, unsure how to answer. Maybe all Rowanpaw was doing was seeking counsel from the herbalist. She knew in other clans they took on the role of not only healer of body, but of mind. Though in Gorseclan, that wasn't really a done thing. They were a "don't dwell on the past; live in the present and suck it up and move on '' type of clan. Besides, the way Longfang was acting it didn't seem like that kind of conversation. "He's been visiting Ringkit a lot too." She settled on saying, answering one observation with another.
"I suppose he feels a responsibility towards that kit."
"I suppose. He said he wanted to mentor him when he was old enough."
Blackbird purred quietly to herself, returning to her work with deft paws. "I'm sure Icestar would grant that request. He'll have a good amount of experience as a warrior by then; enough for his first apprentice." Dappledpaw wondered how far behind she'd still be by then. Surely she'd be ready for her own apprentice… unless she was still one herself! It was a silly thought that she would be still, that far in the future, but her frustration made it feel like it would be forever.
As if the warrior beside her could read her mind, Blackbird spoke again. "Don't worry, you'll be a warrior before you know it. You've had a run of bad luck, that's all. Every cat in the clan knows you deserve it." She reassured the tortoiseshell.
Dappledpaw purred her thanks distractedly as they worked. Still, her gaze wandered once more, risking thorns in paws. Rowanfall had now left Longfang, who was quick to shrink back into the herbalist's den. Instead of the red tom heading over to get some fresh kill though, he instead had his eyes on something else. Following his eyeline, Dappledpaw realised he was staring intently at Icestar, who was chatting with a couple of his elites casually. Rowanfall watched for a moment, then approached, meowing something she didn't catch towards the leader. The large white tom blinked, then nodded, rising to his feet to lead the young warrior towards his den.
…Now what did they want to talk about?
That question circled in her brain for the rest of the day, even into the night where she trained again with Stoatberry in her dreams. She had her practising her stealth.
"Dappledpaw are your feet made of stone, because I could hear you coming a mile away." The deceased herbalist's sharp voice called out, causing the apprentice to freeze in place where she had been stalking up behind her.
The she-cat turned to fix Dappledpaw with a stern look. "If you can't be bothered to focus we can do this another day… Or perhaps you'd rather stick to training with that brutish galoot only?"
"No, sorry Stoatberry. I'll pay better attention."
Stoatberry snorted sceptically, but waved a paw. "Then go back to starting position, and this time I better not hear a sound until your breath is on my fur. I want your pawsteps perfectly silent; why rely on brute strength when you can take an opponent by total surprise like prey?"
As Dappledpaw padded back to the tree several catlengths away that marked the starting point, she took her surroundings in further. This part of the Dark Forest was lighter than the rest; an eerie mist that almost had a glow to it hanging about. The ground was more solid and not so boggy; water was not constantly threatening one's paws like it had been in the other parts Stoatberry had beckoned her to. In fact, it was quite dry; apart from a singular round pool a short distance away. The shadows of former residents did not constantly linger in the dark here either; in fact she hadn't seen one yet.
"What is this place, Stoatberry?" She asked as she reached the tree, her curiosity peaked by the latter point.
"Was wondering when you'd ask." Stoatberry grunted. "See that pool over there? They are scattered all over the Dark Forest, if I were to guess. I can't even be sure if this is the same one I've found before. It's very hard to keep your sense of direction or place here after all."
"What are these pools for then? Why don't the shadows come here?"
"Honestly I don't know why the shadows avoid this place; perhaps it's too bright here… As for the pools.. They call them Deepwater's Eyes. Over grandised name if you ask me." Stoatberry shrugged. "If we are beneath the surface, and Starclan is above, then what do you think we see looking through Deepwater's own gaze?"
Dappledpaw thought for a moment. "The land of living cats." She answered, only a slight hesitation in her tone.
"Exactly. How do you think we can watch what you are all doing? These pools are the way. I would bet a mouse, if there were any to be had in this Starclan-forsaken hellhole, that there are pools like this in Starclan… Or at least something similar. They are dangerous things in this place though; I could see cats wasting away into a shadow in front of them; clinging to the life they can't have anymore until that desire is all that's left… A cruelty to let us watch that which we cannot have anymore, really…But then again this is our punishment, after all." She swiped a paw over her ear. Idly Dappledpaw wondered if these Dark Forest ghosts could get itchy. "And don't ask me how they work; not everything has an explanation freely available."
"I guess that makes sense, enough…" It didn't, really, but then little of this entire thing did. Dappledpaw had long elected not to think about it too much in realistic terms. "Icestar would go nuts to know all this; he's crazy about all that Starclan junk."
"Junk, she says, while standing in the "evil cat afterlife."" Stoatberry snorted dryly. "Icestar wouldn't know squat if it bit him on those nubs he calls ears."
"Yeah, well I'm starting to think so too, since he won't just make me a warrior already." Dappledpaw replied sourly, unable to let it go.
"A dog with a bone aren't you? Patience... Cats like Icestar are only going to stubbornly lock down on you if you keep hounding him. You are only going to make him hold out longer to prove a point. That Boulderstar was the same…"She blinked slowly, not quite looking directly at the tortoiseshell in front of her, as if she was remembering something. "He's here, you know. Well, not that it's really a surprise what with the stunts he pulled in his hilariously short tenure as leader."
Dappledpaw had to agree with the former Gorseclan cat there; if any cat in recent memory would end up here, it was Boulderstar. "Icestar doesn't let anyone talk about him." She commented.
Stoatberry flicked her tail to cover her paws, tilting her head. "Doesn't he now? Hmph. Well, Boulderstar is a cat best left forgotten, even by his apprentice. I've heard whispers in the dark; passing ghosts like me. Seems he's up to something… Who knows what he can really get up to from here, well I have no idea…" The cat mused a moment, then locked her sharp gaze back on the apprentice, snapping. "Now will you get back to stalking practice already? The night doesn't last forever; I want you floating over that ground like a feather!"