*********
"Morpheus!" Ares roared as he appeared in the main hall of Olympus. "Morpheus!!"
"What?!" snapped the dream god, obviously perturbed at being so rudely summoned.
"Leave my Chosen alone! You know the rules!"
"I haven't done anything to your Chosen - by whom I presume you mean your precious warlord Xena," he sneered. "At least, I haven't heard that you've picked a new one."
"She's not a warlord anymore," Ares mumbled automatically, sharply taken aback. Then what was bothering his princess?
"Sorry Morpheus," he said as he disappeared.
*********
I watched as Ares appeared at her side and wondered what had taken him so long. He stood regarding her for a moment then hesitantly placed his hand gently on her brow. The warrior calmed visibly at the contact and I had to smile in spite of the fear in my heart from his manner. "Oh Ares… if she finds out you're reading her dreams…" But it was a moment to keep - the Warrior Princess who spurned the attentions of a god being soothed by that same god.
His eyes flew wide and he jerked his hand away as though it burned. What could have caused such a reaction? Having no way to find out other than to ask, I immediately went to Ares' side.
*********
"What..?"
"Shhhhh…" he warned as he returned his hand to her forehead, shock, repugnance, and… self-loathing? etched sharply across his face. "Let me take care of her and I'll tell you," he whispered.
He leaned close to whisper something in her ear that I couldn't hear and her breathing became soft and even as her face cleared to a small contented smile. "Love…" I thought with a rise of pride. Only a real love between them could make that happen the way it did. The touch of his hand and whatever he had whispered to her had done the trick. She was safe with him. Would she ever accept that? Would she ever admit it?
He straightened and let his hand gently stroke her hair as he savored the look on her face for an endless moment; he turned, nodded to me, and we left her there to meet in his throne room once more.
*********
"Even in her dreams…!" he roared as he slammed his fist against the wall. He turned and paced angrily to the far side of the room and back, head bent, arms behind his back. I stood by helplessly in the dark about what was going on. I'm not sure he even remembered I was in the room until he suddenly changed direction and nearly ran me over before I stepped out of the way. He stopped and stared at me blankly. "What can I do? Even when I've started convincing her during her waking hours, the doubts return in her dreams!" He sounded hopeless and lost. "Is it any wonder I'm having such trouble convincing her?"
"Why don't you tell me what you're talking about? What happened? What took you so long to get there?" I prompted as gently as I could. My curiosity was eating me alive and I wasn't leaving until I found out what was going on.
"Ok. Ok…" he ran impatient fingers through his black locks. "I went to Morpheus to demand that he leave Xena out of his schemes but he said that he wasn't doing anything to her. So I went to Xena. When I got there, I went in to see what she was dreaming about…" he paused, took a deep breath, and stared at the floor. "I didn't want to. No - that's not true - but I knew she wouldn't like it if I did. But with Morpheus saying that he wasn't doing anything…" He stopped again.
Obviously he didn't like what he'd found.
Ares in a moral dilemma? In any other circumstances I'd have laughed myself silly at the thought. He had always been a little shaky on the whole morality thing. I wanted him to go on but was afraid to push him. Never had I seen my brother this torn - over anything. I laid my hand on his arm in an attempt to bring him back to the room.
He lifted his head. "She was dreaming… she was dreaming of me - of us. Of me betraying her. Of me telling her I love her and she believing only to have me turn around and forcing her to live in the blood lust again." His mouth twisted in a grimace.
"What did you do to make her to stop?"
"I reseeded the dream with my feelings. I knew it would work for a moment or two at least."
"Depends on how deep seated her fear of trusting you again is."
"I KNOW that!" he turned and slammed his fist on a table. "I have done this to her - I've done it to myself."
I stood there and watched the play of emotions run over his face in rapid abandon. War could love; War had developed a conscience and feelings other than the satisfaction that comes of a fair battle with a worthy opponent. Somewhere in my conscience came the thought that I had finally won our long ago argument about Love conquering War; but I pushed the thought away before it could come to my lips. It would be a mistake to gloat now - it would wait for another time. Now I needed to help him over this hopeless seeming situation.
*********
The coming of the first hints of dawn saw Xena headed out of the tavern to an isolated glen in the nearby forest. She moved gracefully through a routine of moves designed to baffle, intimidate, and overpower her foes - a dance of death so beautiful in its rehearsal that it seemed a phenomenon of nature in a woman's body. Satisfied in her performance, she sheathed her sword and headed for the stable to groom the horses for the day's travel. By the time she lead them to the front of the tavern and re-entered, Gabrielle was downstairs and in a full-blown tale of heroism to the innkeeper's wife and 2 serving girls. She shook her head, broke a piece of bread from the loaf on the table, and sat down. Joxer smiled a greeting at her less-than-amused face and stifled a laugh. Xena never cared to hear her own exploits.
The tale was done and they both listened with half an ear at the eager questions of the women and the descriptive answers of the bard. Xena rolled her eyes and wondered if they were to be released from this place any time in the near future. She excused herself to take Gabrielle's things out to the horses and returned to find a discussion of gods, their favorites, and chosens. "Is your friend really the Xena Warrior Princess from the tales? Because if she is, you know that she's…"
"Gabrielle! Let's go!" Xena forced impatience to cover the mild concern that rose to hear her name mentioned in such a conversation.
"In a moment, Xena! Here, would you put this in my saddlebag please?" she asked, handing the warrior a scroll. "I'll be there in just a moment."
She reluctantly took the scroll and headed back out the door as Joxer moved closer to the bard's conversation. He wanted to forestall anything he could since Xena didn't want Gabrielle to know this other title that had been so carefully guarded from them until last night.
The young girl who had been speaking when Xena had interrupted looked back at Gabrielle with wide eyes. "She's really Xena?! You do know, of course, that she is…"
"Come on, Gabby! Xena's waiting and we have a long way to go today," begged a worried Joxer.
"I'm coming!" she flashed impatiently. "She's what, Alyssa?"
"Gabrielle…" Joxer tried again.
"The Chosen of Ares, God of War!" Alyssa finished breathlessly.
Joxer's fingers went to his temples and rubbed as though to dismiss a headache. He looked at Gabrielle's wide shocked eyes, turned on his heel, and left the room. "I tried," he thought with a sigh.
Gabrielle's mouth worked in stunned surprise. "Ah… thank you. Um… we had a most pleasant stay. We have to go now," she mumbled as she too hurried from the tavern to the horses.
The first hours of the trip were unusually quiet - Xena's scowl of discontent prohibited much conversation if nothing else. Joxer rode with his head slunk down between his shoulders, casting glances between the two women at intervals. Gabrielle's face was a study in drama and horror as she considered her story, their argument from the day before, and the words she had heard in the tavern last night. She had no idea why the idea never struck her before but it made sense. Ares stopping in to "visit", Xena's reluctance to speak of her past and the War God's role in it - and their present relationship that Gabrielle just couldn't understand no matter how hard she tried. The "favors" she did for him on occasion - the way she reacted to his closeness. But why hadn't Xena told her? Certainly forewarned is forearmed! On the other hand, why had Xena been so upset with her the day before? Surely she wasn't Ares' chosen any more?
The silence finally proved too much to bear for Gabrielle. "Why didn't you tell me? Especially yesterday instead of letting us get into an argument?"
Xena struggled with herself and the words of explanation for a moment then retreated into a stoic warrior manner. "In the first place, it's no one's business but my own, Ares, the gods who have to keep track of that kind of information, and those who need to know when I've been charged with a commission to complete for my patron. In the second, look at your reaction now that you know."
"So you were the Chosen of War."
"No. I am the Chosen of War, Ares' Chosen." She felt a familiar tingle and knew that Ares rode beside her, probably having heard her speak his name he decided it was a good time to visit. Could his timing be worse? She deliberately ignored him and concentrated on Gabrielle.
"So why don't you resign or something?"
"I can't 'resign'. I have to die before he can choose another."
"Die?"
"Yes, Gabrielle," she sighed in frustrated impatience, knowing what the next question was and not really wanting to answer it - especially with Ares right beside her. "I have to be dead before he can choose another."
"So if he finds another to take your place, you would have to be already dead or he would have to kill you? Do you think he would kill you?"
"No he won't kill me. Harass me, irritate me, frustrate me - but he won't kill me," she sighed heavily.
"What makes you so sure?"
"Because I won't," came the response from the suddenly visible Ares, startling Gabrielle enough to sway on her horse, and winning an exasperated look from Xena.
"Ares…" growled Xena.
"Hello, Xena."
"Goodbye, Ares," she said pointedly.
His teeth flashed in a wide grin before he disappeared leaving her to strangle a laugh as she turned to face Gabrielle's scowl.
"Why do you let him do that?!"
"Let him do what?" Xena choked.
"He just appears and disappears as he pleases!"
Xena almost chuckled before she caught herself. "And I'm supposed to do something about that?"
"Can't you tell him to announce his presence or something?" huffed Gabrielle. Xena prudently refrained from pointing out that Gabrielle was well aware that at least one of them could feel Ares' presence.
Joxer slowed his horse behind other two before he got in trouble for laughing. It was obvious that the bard was going to be satisfied with no less than a lynching at the moment.
*********
It was late the next day before Joxer had another opportunity to speak quietly with Xena. Gabrielle's mood hadn't improved from the day before though Ares had made no further appearances, and Xena and Joxer had been careful to refrain from doing anything they knew would set the bard off. When they stopped to make camp near a secluded pond, Gabrielle had stormed off leaving the other two to set up camp. They looked at the departing blonde, then at each other and stifled their amusement. How long could Gabrielle keep up this indignant mood anyway? Surely the need to talk would overcome it soon?
The fire was soon crackling cheerfully; a skillet rested expectantly near. Xena was cleaning a pair of rabbits when the bard walked slowly back into camp. Gabrielle looked at the two sitting beside the fire and swallowed hard.
"I'm sorry…"
"It's ok, Gabrielle," said Xena without looking up. "I understand."
"Well I don't," Joxer countered. "You know a lot about Xena's past; you told the story; you said that it was entirely possible for the God of War to have a chosen, then you blow up when you find that it was Xena?" He shook his head and ignored Xena's warning frown. "I don't understand."
"Joxer, I…"
"No Gabby. No. I must admit that I was surprised to find out myself but mostly because I just never thought about it. There was no reason for you to go all wild like you did. So she never walked around telling everyone she was… is… Ares' chosen. Big deal." He swallowed hard and looked back down at the sword he was sharpening. Where had that outburst come from? But it was what he thought, and he wasn't taking it back - he hoped. He looked back up timidly.
Xena stared at Joxer in slack jawed surprise. After a moment, the corner of her mouth lifted in the slightest of smiles before she nodded and returned to cleaning the rabbits. She, at least, wasn't going to berate him for speaking out - it looked like perhaps she respected him for it.
Gabrielle, on the other hand, stood staring at him as though he was a two-headed monster from one of her stories. She opened her mouth to retort and slowly closed it again. What could she say to him? He was right - she had been going to say something similar before he had started to berate her. "I was trying to apologize," she mumbled.
Silence reigned in the clearing over the next minutes. Xena finished with the rabbits and Gabrielle skewered them on sticks to roast over the fire. Joxer was polishing his armor as Xena sharpened her sword and cast vaguely curious glances at the bard now and then.
"Xena…"
"Yes?" The sharpening stone rhythm was steady and soothing.
"What did Ares mean when he said he won't kill you?"
"He meant he won't kill me."
Gabrielle rolled her eyes - Xena could be so… so difficult at times! "Ok… why won't he kill you?"
The scrape of the stone never faltered. "Because he loves me."
"Oh." Gabrielle let this sink in for a moment.
"He what?! I don't believe I heard you correctly," she said as Joxer fell off of his make shift log seat in surprise.
The sharpening stone stopped abruptly and icy blue eyes bored hard into wide green ones. "You heard me," responded Xena - the dangerous edge to her voice warned the bard that this was the end of the conversation.
Gabrielle looked into Xena's eyes and took the hint none too gracefully. She grabbed the rabbits from the fire to set them over the skillet then took a piece and sat back well away from the others. When she was done, she glared once more at Xena, grabbed her bedroll, spread it next to Joxer's and lay down to sleep.
Joxer had sat silent and considering all this time. So the God of War could love? And, what's more, Xena admitted that he loved her? This was not exactly the development he had been expecting, though he had not disregarded it when she had been so confident that Ares wouldn't kill her. He looked over at Gabrielle whose chest was already rising and falling in the deep even breaths of sleep. He leaned forward to rest his forearms on his legs and gazed into the dance of flames before him.
"You sound very sure he won't kill you."
"I am."
"Then you're sure he loves you."
She sighed and returned her gaze to the fire. "Yes."
"And you're not happy about it."
Xena picked up a twig that lay near her feet and picked the bark off of it absently. "I just don't know," she finally told him. She looked over at him and smiled ruefully. "He's loved me a long time - he just didn't know it. He thought that love was beneath him - that loving was weakness."
"So War can love," Joxer mused aloud. "Then why did you keep saying he couldn't?"
"Call it self-defense."
"Then you love him?"
Once more she stared into the fire for a long moment. "I just don't know, Joxer. Once I loved him; I worshipped him. I don't worship him any more but…" she paused and drew a deep breath. "I'm not sure I ever stopped loving him - no matter what I told myself," she whispered. "But there are also the issues of his past plans to get me back; I don't know if I can forgive him the way I should. Or myself."
She stretched her long legs in front of her and set her hands down beside her on the log she was sitting on. She looked at Joxer thoughtfully then gazed back at the fire.
"What's the matter?" he asked her.
"I was just asking myself why I'm telling you these things," she grinned.
He grinned back. "And did you answer yourself?"
She laughed softly. "Yes I did. I decided that it was because I thought that you might understand better than Gabrielle," she gave a nod at the sleeping bard. "You listen and keep your own council better than she does at times. You haven't judged and you haven't tried to influence me. I appreciate that."
He looked at the ground and blushed, flattered immensely that Xena would think of him in this way. "Thanks for trusting me," he said quietly.
She smiled at him. "You're welcome. Now I think I'll make some last checks. Why don't you get some sleep? I'll be joining you both soon."
"Yeah," he spread his bedroll. "Night Xena."
*********
I closed the portal and clapped my hands in pure glee. Maybe this match would come off after all!
*********
Xena made certain the horses were secure then made a wide walk around the area of the camp. Satisfied that all was settled for the night, she returned to the camp and her own bedroll. She lay it some distance from the fire where it would be less readily noticed if someone came on them unexpectedly and pulled off her armor and boots in readiness for sleep. She sat there on the blankets gazing at the stars for a few minutes.
"Good night, Ares."
"Good night, Xena," the wind sighed softly.
*********