Survivor 20XX
Outland - Outback - Outhouse
*the camera pans over a sparkling blue ocean until it reaches a tiny tropical island, where it zooms in. we can see beaches, two council clearings, cliffs, and a large, military-style base in the center. Standing in front of this is Indigo X, Maverick Huntress and head honcho of the 'Survivor 20XX' project. MDA TV gave her vast budget to make a Survivor series better than CBS', and she has spent this budget frivolously- on beer, mostly. By her side is her sidekick Protoman. He has absolutely no TV experience, is a self-made recluse, and has a bit of a schizo problem (remember Mega Man III?), but he works cheap. Both are clutching a larger-than-necessary Foster's.*
Indy: Welcome to Iwannamilliondollar Island. This tropical paradise will be home to sixteen individuals within the course of the next eight weeks. Over on the East Side is where the Mega tribe will call home, while the West Side will be the home of the X tribe. The tribes will be arriving shortly, and we'll get the ball rolling. *Indy takes a swig of her beer*
Proto: That's right, Indy. The tribesmen and tribeswomen will be trying to outlast each other for a chance at the grand prize- all of Dr. Wily's stolen booty for a year. *he eyes Indy-or does he? Who can tell with the visor?* Ummm... easy with the beer there, Indy.
Indy: *slurred a teensy bit* Ah, I can hold my liquor, little boy. *back to camera* The tribes will be roughing it- grabbing what they can from the supply pile what they can and use said supplies to make life a little easier- but not much. While they struggle to survive, we here at Central Control will be monitoring their progress from our air-conditioned, full-service Central HQ, which, might I add, is stocked with enough beer to kill a full-grown horse.
Proto: *under breath* Or keep Indy satisfied for 15 minutes... *normal voice, to camera* Anyway, Not only are we at Central Control going to be keeping tabs on the castaways, our faithful 'Eyes in the Sky' helicopter will be keeping an arial vigil. Now, let's cut to our good friends Za, Omega, and Captain Gyro Man in the Rateater 1. Guys?
*camera cuts to the inside of the Rateater 1- a posh, state of the art helicopter. Za and Omega are lounging in the on-board hot tub with a nice, cool Pina Colada each. Gyro Man, the pilot, is flying with one hand and gripping a copy of Penthouse with the other.*
Za: Thanks, Proto. This is Za, here with my partner Omega.
Omega: HiHi.
Za: And over there is the man keeping us from crashing, our captain, Gyro Man!
*camera zooms in on Gyro Man, who is avidly scoping the Penthouse and paying no attention to flying whatsoever.*
Gyro: Yeeeeeeah baby.... Come to Papa....*he notices the camera, and tosses the porno aside in a flustered manner.* Hey! Get the camera outta my face! I can't see where I'm going with that honkin' camera right there!
*camera quickly pans to Omega, who is blushing.*
Omega: OhhhKayyyy.... Oh, look! There's the ship! The Mega tribe is arriving!
*camera shoots out the window and zooms in on a large white cruise ship. The Mega tribe, members of the original Mega Man cast, are aboard and look excited- except for Bass, who looks vaguely indifferent.*
Za: Back to you, Indy.
*Camera feed switches back to Central Control, where Indy and Proto are looking at each other in fear of the porno-obsessed chopper pilot.*
Proto: *to Indy, quietly* I tell ya, Indy, if that copter doesn't crash before this whole thing is over, It'll be a friggin' miracle.
Indy: *to Proto, also quietly* I hear ya... boy, I wouldn't want to be Za or Omega on this little excursion... hey, does that light mean that the camera is on?
Proto: I do believe so.
Indy: Oh, Sweet Mother of Jesus. In the name of all that's good and sweet in Dr. Light's beard, PLEASE cut to a commercial.
*Commercial break. Ads for the Juiceman, Bless the Child, Foster's, Crono Cross (sweeeeet), the upcoming WWF pay-per-view, and Quaker Chewy granola bars.*
*camera cuts back to Indy and Proto, who are now standing on the island's tiny dock. Several small boats are headed ashore.*
Indy: And here come the dinghies!
*Proto stifles a chuckle, but fails and ends up laughing aloud. Indy raises an eyebrow.*
Indy: Proto, what is the MATTER with you?
Proto: Nothing. *still snickering* Dinghies.
*Indy shakes head*
Indy: Anyways, while the Mega tribe is coming ashore...
Proto: *laughing like a loon* On their dinghies!
Indy: *glaring at Proto* Yeah. While they're coming ashore, let's go to Central HQ's Time Travel department, where Time Travel experts Sailor Pluto and Sailor Chibi-Moon are about to bring the X tribe from the future.
*camera cuts to a large, warehouse-like room in HQ's basement. Several clocks and calendars are on the walls, and a desk covered with mathematical equations and time-space theories is in the corner.*
Pluto: Thank you, Indy. This is Central's Time Retrieval/Replacement room. Here, my partner Chibi-Moon and I will retrieve our X tribe from the future, and send them back once they are voted off.
Chibi: We brought Indy here from the future, for example. Now, without further ado, let's bring the X tribe to Iwannamilliondollar Island in the year 20XX!
*she raises her Key pendant to the sky.*
MOON... CRYSTAL... KEY!
*A cloud swirls about the ceiling, and the X tribe falls through, landing in a heap.*
Pluto: Good job, Chibi-Moon! But next time, you should calculate the landing space and put a mattress or something under it.
Zero: Whoa, what a trip.
Sigma: Delightful. Now could you please remove your posterior from my face?
X: Shut up and just get your Mr. Clean self off of my foot!
*The X tribe continues to squabble and try to untangle themselves from each other.*
Pluto: *sweatdrop* Ummmm... back to you, Indy.
*camera cuts back to Indy, who is chasing four Aleve with the remainder of her Oil Can.*
Indy: Now that both tribes are here, there's one more little rule I should mention. When making this show up, the powers that be were afraid of some horrible, Lord of the Flies type disaster where all the people on the island would snap, revert to some primal state, and start cannibalizing each other and the film crew. I told them I'd get a remedy for that problem just in case, and here she is!
*Sailor Saturn, carrying her Silence Glaive, walks into camera range and gives a little bow.*
Indy: Saturn here has agreed to use her Death Reborn Revolution to blow up the island if things get too... messy. That is, blow up the island after yours truly is safety off.
Proto: *whispering to Indy* Indy, doesn't Death Reborn Revolution blow up the whole Earth?
Indy: *whispering harshly* Shut UP.
Saturn: *sweatdrop* I'm going inside now. That okay?
Indy: Fine. Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge.
*Saturn leaves as both tribes come through the jungle to the front of HQ. Mega tribe is on the left, X tribe is on the right. Indy addresses the tribes.*
Indy: Welcome, X tribe and Mega tribe. Just to get started, will the eight Mega tribe members please step forward and introduce themselves now?
*The Mega tribe comes forward and states their names- Mega Man, Dr. Light, Roll, Bass, Dr. Wily, Tengu Man, Plant Man, and Pluto.*
Indy: Nice to meet you all. X tribe! Mah homies! Tell the world who ya are!
*The X tribe also introduces themselves: X, Zero, Colonel, Sigma, Vile, Iris, Toxic Seahorse, and Crystal Snail.*
Proto: Okay guys, let's get started. Here before you is a big ass pile of supplies. You have all have thirty seconds to grab as many supplies as you can. These will last you eight weeks, so choose wisely, and... *he glances at the Mega tribe, and smirks at Indy* ...may the best tribe win.
Indy: *glancing toward the X tribe* You heard 'em, boys... may the best tribe win. Put thirty seconds on the clock, readyyyyy.... And GO!
*The tribes scramble for the supplies. There's a bunch of stuff that would be useful on a long camping trip.*
Pluto: I got a first aid kit!
Sigma: I got a toolbox!
Tengu: I got hammocks!
Dr. Light: *forlornly* I got a rock.
Indy: Aaaaannnddd.... HOLD IT! Okay, time's up. Head back to your camps, and get settled in- you'll have 8 weeks to get to know your surroundings.
*The tribes grab their seized supplies and head back.*
Indy: And that's all the time we have for tonight. From our Island to you...
Proto: Goodnight, and don't let the hideous, oversized mosquitoes bite!
Outland - Outback - Outhouse
*the camera pans over a sparkling blue ocean until it reaches a tiny tropical island, where it zooms in. we can see beaches, two council clearings, cliffs, and a large, military-style base in the center. Standing in front of this is Indigo X, Maverick Huntress and head honcho of the 'Survivor 20XX' project. MDA TV gave her vast budget to make a Survivor series better than CBS', and she has spent this budget frivolously- on beer, mostly. By her side is her sidekick Protoman. He has absolutely no TV experience, is a self-made recluse, and has a bit of a schizo problem (remember Mega Man III?), but he works cheap. Both are clutching a larger-than-necessary Foster's.*
Indy: Welcome to Iwannamilliondollar Island. This tropical paradise will be home to sixteen individuals within the course of the next eight weeks. Over on the East Side is where the Mega tribe will call home, while the West Side will be the home of the X tribe. The tribes will be arriving shortly, and we'll get the ball rolling. *Indy takes a swig of her beer*
Proto: That's right, Indy. The tribesmen and tribeswomen will be trying to outlast each other for a chance at the grand prize- all of Dr. Wily's stolen booty for a year. *he eyes Indy-or does he? Who can tell with the visor?* Ummm... easy with the beer there, Indy.
Indy: *slurred a teensy bit* Ah, I can hold my liquor, little boy. *back to camera* The tribes will be roughing it- grabbing what they can from the supply pile what they can and use said supplies to make life a little easier- but not much. While they struggle to survive, we here at Central Control will be monitoring their progress from our air-conditioned, full-service Central HQ, which, might I add, is stocked with enough beer to kill a full-grown horse.
Proto: *under breath* Or keep Indy satisfied for 15 minutes... *normal voice, to camera* Anyway, Not only are we at Central Control going to be keeping tabs on the castaways, our faithful 'Eyes in the Sky' helicopter will be keeping an arial vigil. Now, let's cut to our good friends Za, Omega, and Captain Gyro Man in the Rateater 1. Guys?
*camera cuts to the inside of the Rateater 1- a posh, state of the art helicopter. Za and Omega are lounging in the on-board hot tub with a nice, cool Pina Colada each. Gyro Man, the pilot, is flying with one hand and gripping a copy of Penthouse with the other.*
Za: Thanks, Proto. This is Za, here with my partner Omega.
Omega: HiHi.
Za: And over there is the man keeping us from crashing, our captain, Gyro Man!
*camera zooms in on Gyro Man, who is avidly scoping the Penthouse and paying no attention to flying whatsoever.*
Gyro: Yeeeeeeah baby.... Come to Papa....*he notices the camera, and tosses the porno aside in a flustered manner.* Hey! Get the camera outta my face! I can't see where I'm going with that honkin' camera right there!
*camera quickly pans to Omega, who is blushing.*
Omega: OhhhKayyyy.... Oh, look! There's the ship! The Mega tribe is arriving!
*camera shoots out the window and zooms in on a large white cruise ship. The Mega tribe, members of the original Mega Man cast, are aboard and look excited- except for Bass, who looks vaguely indifferent.*
Za: Back to you, Indy.
*Camera feed switches back to Central Control, where Indy and Proto are looking at each other in fear of the porno-obsessed chopper pilot.*
Proto: *to Indy, quietly* I tell ya, Indy, if that copter doesn't crash before this whole thing is over, It'll be a friggin' miracle.
Indy: *to Proto, also quietly* I hear ya... boy, I wouldn't want to be Za or Omega on this little excursion... hey, does that light mean that the camera is on?
Proto: I do believe so.
Indy: Oh, Sweet Mother of Jesus. In the name of all that's good and sweet in Dr. Light's beard, PLEASE cut to a commercial.
*Commercial break. Ads for the Juiceman, Bless the Child, Foster's, Crono Cross (sweeeeet), the upcoming WWF pay-per-view, and Quaker Chewy granola bars.*
*camera cuts back to Indy and Proto, who are now standing on the island's tiny dock. Several small boats are headed ashore.*
Indy: And here come the dinghies!
*Proto stifles a chuckle, but fails and ends up laughing aloud. Indy raises an eyebrow.*
Indy: Proto, what is the MATTER with you?
Proto: Nothing. *still snickering* Dinghies.
*Indy shakes head*
Indy: Anyways, while the Mega tribe is coming ashore...
Proto: *laughing like a loon* On their dinghies!
Indy: *glaring at Proto* Yeah. While they're coming ashore, let's go to Central HQ's Time Travel department, where Time Travel experts Sailor Pluto and Sailor Chibi-Moon are about to bring the X tribe from the future.
*camera cuts to a large, warehouse-like room in HQ's basement. Several clocks and calendars are on the walls, and a desk covered with mathematical equations and time-space theories is in the corner.*
Pluto: Thank you, Indy. This is Central's Time Retrieval/Replacement room. Here, my partner Chibi-Moon and I will retrieve our X tribe from the future, and send them back once they are voted off.
Chibi: We brought Indy here from the future, for example. Now, without further ado, let's bring the X tribe to Iwannamilliondollar Island in the year 20XX!
*she raises her Key pendant to the sky.*
MOON... CRYSTAL... KEY!
*A cloud swirls about the ceiling, and the X tribe falls through, landing in a heap.*
Pluto: Good job, Chibi-Moon! But next time, you should calculate the landing space and put a mattress or something under it.
Zero: Whoa, what a trip.
Sigma: Delightful. Now could you please remove your posterior from my face?
X: Shut up and just get your Mr. Clean self off of my foot!
*The X tribe continues to squabble and try to untangle themselves from each other.*
Pluto: *sweatdrop* Ummmm... back to you, Indy.
*camera cuts back to Indy, who is chasing four Aleve with the remainder of her Oil Can.*
Indy: Now that both tribes are here, there's one more little rule I should mention. When making this show up, the powers that be were afraid of some horrible, Lord of the Flies type disaster where all the people on the island would snap, revert to some primal state, and start cannibalizing each other and the film crew. I told them I'd get a remedy for that problem just in case, and here she is!
*Sailor Saturn, carrying her Silence Glaive, walks into camera range and gives a little bow.*
Indy: Saturn here has agreed to use her Death Reborn Revolution to blow up the island if things get too... messy. That is, blow up the island after yours truly is safety off.
Proto: *whispering to Indy* Indy, doesn't Death Reborn Revolution blow up the whole Earth?
Indy: *whispering harshly* Shut UP.
Saturn: *sweatdrop* I'm going inside now. That okay?
Indy: Fine. Help yourself to whatever's in the fridge.
*Saturn leaves as both tribes come through the jungle to the front of HQ. Mega tribe is on the left, X tribe is on the right. Indy addresses the tribes.*
Indy: Welcome, X tribe and Mega tribe. Just to get started, will the eight Mega tribe members please step forward and introduce themselves now?
*The Mega tribe comes forward and states their names- Mega Man, Dr. Light, Roll, Bass, Dr. Wily, Tengu Man, Plant Man, and Pluto.*
Indy: Nice to meet you all. X tribe! Mah homies! Tell the world who ya are!
*The X tribe also introduces themselves: X, Zero, Colonel, Sigma, Vile, Iris, Toxic Seahorse, and Crystal Snail.*
Proto: Okay guys, let's get started. Here before you is a big ass pile of supplies. You have all have thirty seconds to grab as many supplies as you can. These will last you eight weeks, so choose wisely, and... *he glances at the Mega tribe, and smirks at Indy* ...may the best tribe win.
Indy: *glancing toward the X tribe* You heard 'em, boys... may the best tribe win. Put thirty seconds on the clock, readyyyyy.... And GO!
*The tribes scramble for the supplies. There's a bunch of stuff that would be useful on a long camping trip.*
Pluto: I got a first aid kit!
Sigma: I got a toolbox!
Tengu: I got hammocks!
Dr. Light: *forlornly* I got a rock.
Indy: Aaaaannnddd.... HOLD IT! Okay, time's up. Head back to your camps, and get settled in- you'll have 8 weeks to get to know your surroundings.
*The tribes grab their seized supplies and head back.*
Indy: And that's all the time we have for tonight. From our Island to you...
Proto: Goodnight, and don't let the hideous, oversized mosquitoes bite!