Survivor 20XX
- - - - -
Outthere-Overwhere-Underwear
Episode 2: Week 1
*camera pans over Iwannamilliondollar, swooping to Central HQ's sweeping back porch with full service wet bar. Indy is lounging in a hammock nursing a Mudslide, while her ever-faithful partner Protoman is snoozing in a hammock of his own with an issue of Mad Magazine over his face. Sailor Saturn, head of the Emergency Destruction Dept., is lounging on the deck in a black bikini, taking in the sun. An indigo owl is perched on a stand beside Indy's hammock. Indigo sees the camera and waves lethargically, then notices her still-napping partner.*
Indy: Welcome back to our Island. I'm Indigo X, over there is my incredibly lazy cohort, Protoman. This... *she gently lifts the owl off of its perch and lets it sit on her shoulder* is Hunter, my Maverick hunting partner from the future. I begged Sailor Pluto to let me go back and get him, cuz he gets lonely without me, don't you, schnookums? *she cuddles the owl, Saturn looks over and makes gagging gestures* Anywho, I taught Hunter an incredibly useful trick the other day. Observe. *Indy turns to the owl* Hunter, go wake Proto! Go get him, boy! *Hunter flies off*
Saturn: *sleepily* What did that accomplish? Hunter just flew away.
Indy: *smirking* Wait.
*Hunter returns, clutching a large coconut in his talons. Swooping down, he drops the coconut squarely atop Proto's unhelmeted noggin. Proto leaps up, spurting several words that quickly plunge the show from a 'TV14' to a 'M' rating. Saturn applauds.*
Saturn: I take it back. Indy, that was COOL!
Indy: *giving Hunter a mouse-flavored Energy Pellet* Naturally.
Proto: *rubbing lump a sizeable lump on his head and adjusting his Ray-Bans* Alrighty, now that we've all had fun at my expense, let's get this show on the road, OKAY? *Proto glares malevolently at Indy.*
*Indy laughs nervously, knowing that Break Man, Proto's other personality, isn't the friendliest bloke in the world and getting Proto really mad might result in a special guest appearance from him*
Indy: Okays. Anywhaay, our two tribes have been surviving out there for about a week now. Let's go see how they're doing, and at the end of the show, we'll have our 1st council meetings.
*cut over to the Mega Tribe's camp. Pluto is lounging under the trees, trying to keep cool. Bass and Roll are talking. Mega Man is trying to comfort Dr. Light, who is curled up in a disoriented, scared looking ball. Dr. Wily is observing. Plant Man is studying the plants, looking for edible ones, and Tengu Man is laying on the beach.*
Roll: It's about time for lunch. Would somebody get some coconuts?
Pluto: *suddenly alert* Got it covered! *Using his massive claws, Pluto skillfully climbs the nearest palm tree and slices several coconuts down. Roll catches them in a basket.*
Doc: *wailing* SEE? HE'S GOT HUGE CLAWS AND CAN CLIMB TREES! I AM SO OUT OF MY ELEMENT!!! *sniffles* I'm going to die out here...
Mega: Gosh, Doc. Mebbe you shouldn't have come on this trip.
Wily: What a wiener. *to Dr. Light* You haven't got what it takes to be a real man, ya pansy!
Doc: *sniffling* You take that back! I am SO a real man! Oooh, if I just had a lab with me, I'd build something that would make you EAT those words!
Wily: *approaching the cowering Doc* Whassamatter? Can't fight your OWN battles, wuss boy? *kicks sand on Doc*
Bass: *under breath* Look who's talking...
Mega: You'd better cut it out, Wily! You're nothing but a bully!
Bass: *still muttering* Niiiiice comeback there, hero-boy.
Roll: I wish they knew how juvenile they looked...
Bass: That's for sure.
Roll: *smirking sultrily* Wanna go for a walk?
Bass: *raises eyebrow* Okay.
*Roll and Bass plunge into the jungle, holding hands. Plant Man watches them leave"
Plant: *muttering* Just don't do it in the poison ivy, you two...
Tengu: *opens one eye* Keep it down, will ya? How's a guy supposed to get his beauty sleep with you peons screaming like banshees?
*Pluto 'accidentally' hurls a coconut at Tengu, hitting him in his...um...special area.*
Tengu: *inaudible muttering that, if clear, wouldn't be fit for broadcast TV. Maybe cable...*
Pluto: Oops. Nailed Prince Tengu in the Royal Jewels. My bad.
*Tengu floats up and grabs Pluto by the tail, trying to pull him down from the tree. Pluto slashes at Tengu, nicking the end of Tengu's long nose off.*
Tengu: *wails* AAAARRRRGGGHHHH! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE! YOU @#$%&*# CAT THINGY! YOU RUINED MY BEAUTIFUL FAAAACCCEEEE!
Pluto: Man, your ideas of beauty are SERIOUSLY out of whack. *Giggling, Pluto jumps from treetop to treetop, heading into the jungle. Tengu gives chase*
*camera pans back to Indy at Central HQ. Indy's about to say something when Sailor Pluto runs in.*
S. Pluto: Indy, you got a letter from the future. It's from Ice Blue X. *she hands Indy a manila envelope. Indy squeals happily.*
Indy: Thanks a lot, Pluto! *Pluto leaves, and Indy opens the envelope.* EEEE! This is the brand new Gundam Wing hentai that Icey told me was coming out! *Indy opens the X-rated manga and promptly drools.* Oh, DUO! My God, doesn't that hurt your back? *Indy turns the pages, examines them from different angles, and Oohs and Aahs.*
Proto: Indy, what are you... *he sees what Indy is reading.* GIVE ME THAAAAT!
*he snatches the mag, Indy whines in protest.*
Proto: Indy, this is neither the time nor the place. Show now, smut later.
Indy: *miserably* Okay. *brightening* It seems that the Mega tribe is having problems getting along. There's a lot of fighting amongst themselves, except for... THIS.
*the clip of Bass and Roll holding hands is replayed*
Indy: Just an innocent hiking trip? Or is a forbidden romance blooming on our fair island?
Proto: You're delusional. My sis doesn't find Bass even REMOTELY attractive. I swear, you can conjure a romance out of thin air.
Indy: We'll see. Anyways, let's see what's going on on the West Side with the X tribe, shall we?
*camera cuts over to the X tribe's campsite. The tribe has just eaten dinner, and they all look annoyed except for Iris, who looks guilty.*
Iris: Sorry, guys. I told you I can't cook.
Toxic: That's no excuse. Me and Crystal spent ALL DAY catching those fish...
X: *dryly* When you could have been helping with the campsite...
*Crystal Snail shoots X a dirty look*
Toxic: ...And you go and burn them to near inedibility. Honestly, girl, I thought you had more sense.
*the tribe murmurs their approval. Iris bursts into tears and clings to Zero.*
Iris: Oh, Zero! Tell them I didn't mean it!
*Zero cringes, but nods to Iris.
Zero: Guys, I don't think she did such a crappy job on purpose....
Vile: You're just sticking up for her because you want her in the sack!
*lots of angry murmuring, Sigma stands up.*
Sigma: Fellow reploids, we have nothing to gain by squabbling amongst ourselves like this. It's something the primitive models on the other side of the island would do. I say we all forget about the... trout fiasco, go for a nice, relaxing swim before it gets dark, come back, and build up the fire for the evening. What say you all?
*excited agreeing, the X tribe runs for the ocean.*
X: C'mon, Zero! I'll race ya!
*X takes off after the others. Zero is about to chase after when Sigma stops him.*
Sigma: Zero, a word, if you please.
Zero: Yeah? What's up?
Sigma: I've done some research before we all came here. The stolen treasures of Dr. Wily are worth a fantastical amount. Lucky be the reploid that can seize them for himself, but for now, we must survive as a tribe. Cut out the fat. Only the strongest will last.
Zero: Say what?
Sigma: I say we strengthen our chances of winning. Form an alliance with me. Vote X off of the island tonight.
Zero: WHAT?!? I can't do that! X is my best friend!
Sigma: Zero, you are destined to ally with me! Vote X off tonight! It is your destiny!
*Zero looks like he's thinking hard.*
Sigma: *smoothly, extending his hand* Think of what a powerful team we would make, Zero. Just shake my hand, and seal the deal.
*Trancelike, Zero extends his hand. He is about to shake Sigma's hand when he blinks, gasps, and shakes his head.*
Zero: No. No! NOOOOOO! *he runs toward the beach, away from Sigma.*
Sigma: *calling after him* You'll be back! You can't fight fate!
*camera cuts back to HQ. Indy is looking in vain for where Proto hid her Gundam Wing hentai.*
Indy: So, Sigma tries to sow the seeds of betrayal in the X tribe. Zero's managed to slip away from this shady character's influence this time, but will he hold out until Sigma gets voted off, if that happens?
Proto: *looking suspiciously at Indy* After the break, it's time for the council meetings. Who will we be saying goodbye to? Wait and find out, when Survivor 20XX returns. *to Indy* You're not looking for that smutty manga, are you? I told you I'd give it back after the show's over.
Indy: *pouting* Oh, thpppt. YOU just want to look at it.
*Proto begins a long, overly defensive tirade about his sexual orientation as the camera cuts to commercials.*
*commercial break, including ads for Slim Jims, Lugz, Geico auto insurance, the Cell, and a paid political endorsement advising the Canuck and Americano public to re-elect Ice Blue X for Prez of the Universe.*
*camera re-opens on Central HQ.*
Proto: ...and to close, I am NOT gay.
Indy: Okay, OKAY! To those of you coming back from commercials, just let me say that there are times when you should be thankful for them there commercial breaks.
*Proto gives a nasty glare*
Indy: Anywho, I am now headed to the X tribe meeting, while Proto is joining his peeps at the Mega tribe meeting. *they teleport to the meeting sites.*
*Mega tribe meeting site. There are stone benches and a large stone table surrounded by 8 tiki torches. On the table are a pencil, 8 sheets of paper, a wooden bucket with a lid, a wooden torch snuffer, and a tiki god pendant.*
Proto: Okay, guys. This is the drill. Come up one at a time and write the name of whoever you want voted off on these sheets of paper. You can't vote yourself off, and you can only vote once. Any questions?
Roll: Yeah, what's the necklace for?
Proto: This is an Immunity necklace. Starting next week, we'll start playing two kinds of games- Immunity challenges and Reward challenges. The Immunity necklace goes to whoever wins the Immunity challenge, and prevents them from being voted off for one council meeting. Got that?
*the Mega tribe nods.*
Proto: Okay, cast your votes.
*the tribe comes up one by one and vote. They put their ballots into the bucket through a slot in the lid.*
Proto: *removing the lid* Okay, let's see. *reads* Dr. Light. Dr. Light. Tengu. Pluto. Dr. Wily. Dr. Light. Mega Man. Dr. Wily. *he looks up at the tribe* Sorry, Dad. You're off. Come forward, please.
*Doc comes forward. Proto hands him the torch with his name on it.*
Proto: Dr. Thomas Light, you are now exiled from the island. *he solemnly puts the torch out* The tribe has spoken.
*Wily bursts out laughing*
Wily: What a pansy! Bye bye, Thomas! DO send me a postcard!
*Doc calmly turns around, decks Wily square in the jaw, and leaves while everyone is still in shock.*
Proto: *flustered and shocked* O-over to you, Indy.
*Over on the West Side, Indy explains the rules and waits while the votes are casted. Sigma keeps glancing malevolently at Zero, who is sitting by X, far, far away from Sigma. Iris is clinging to Zero's arm.*
Indy: Okay, let's see here... Iris, Iris, Iris, Iris, Sigma, X, Zero, Toxic. Iris is gone.
*Iris wails and hugs Zero and Colonel before coming forward.*
Indy: Iris, you are exiled from the island. *Indy puts out Iris' torch* The tribe has spoken. THROW HER TO THE DRAGON!
*Iris yelps in fright as she is seized by two burly men and thrown into a nearby pit. Screaming, ripping, and crunching sounds come from the pit, followed by a loud burp.*
Red: Excuse me!
Indy: No problem. *turns to the camera* Well, that's all for this week. Till next time, I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus, Kook kook ka joob! 'Ta!
- - - - -
Outthere-Overwhere-Underwear
Episode 2: Week 1
*camera pans over Iwannamilliondollar, swooping to Central HQ's sweeping back porch with full service wet bar. Indy is lounging in a hammock nursing a Mudslide, while her ever-faithful partner Protoman is snoozing in a hammock of his own with an issue of Mad Magazine over his face. Sailor Saturn, head of the Emergency Destruction Dept., is lounging on the deck in a black bikini, taking in the sun. An indigo owl is perched on a stand beside Indy's hammock. Indigo sees the camera and waves lethargically, then notices her still-napping partner.*
Indy: Welcome back to our Island. I'm Indigo X, over there is my incredibly lazy cohort, Protoman. This... *she gently lifts the owl off of its perch and lets it sit on her shoulder* is Hunter, my Maverick hunting partner from the future. I begged Sailor Pluto to let me go back and get him, cuz he gets lonely without me, don't you, schnookums? *she cuddles the owl, Saturn looks over and makes gagging gestures* Anywho, I taught Hunter an incredibly useful trick the other day. Observe. *Indy turns to the owl* Hunter, go wake Proto! Go get him, boy! *Hunter flies off*
Saturn: *sleepily* What did that accomplish? Hunter just flew away.
Indy: *smirking* Wait.
*Hunter returns, clutching a large coconut in his talons. Swooping down, he drops the coconut squarely atop Proto's unhelmeted noggin. Proto leaps up, spurting several words that quickly plunge the show from a 'TV14' to a 'M' rating. Saturn applauds.*
Saturn: I take it back. Indy, that was COOL!
Indy: *giving Hunter a mouse-flavored Energy Pellet* Naturally.
Proto: *rubbing lump a sizeable lump on his head and adjusting his Ray-Bans* Alrighty, now that we've all had fun at my expense, let's get this show on the road, OKAY? *Proto glares malevolently at Indy.*
*Indy laughs nervously, knowing that Break Man, Proto's other personality, isn't the friendliest bloke in the world and getting Proto really mad might result in a special guest appearance from him*
Indy: Okays. Anywhaay, our two tribes have been surviving out there for about a week now. Let's go see how they're doing, and at the end of the show, we'll have our 1st council meetings.
*cut over to the Mega Tribe's camp. Pluto is lounging under the trees, trying to keep cool. Bass and Roll are talking. Mega Man is trying to comfort Dr. Light, who is curled up in a disoriented, scared looking ball. Dr. Wily is observing. Plant Man is studying the plants, looking for edible ones, and Tengu Man is laying on the beach.*
Roll: It's about time for lunch. Would somebody get some coconuts?
Pluto: *suddenly alert* Got it covered! *Using his massive claws, Pluto skillfully climbs the nearest palm tree and slices several coconuts down. Roll catches them in a basket.*
Doc: *wailing* SEE? HE'S GOT HUGE CLAWS AND CAN CLIMB TREES! I AM SO OUT OF MY ELEMENT!!! *sniffles* I'm going to die out here...
Mega: Gosh, Doc. Mebbe you shouldn't have come on this trip.
Wily: What a wiener. *to Dr. Light* You haven't got what it takes to be a real man, ya pansy!
Doc: *sniffling* You take that back! I am SO a real man! Oooh, if I just had a lab with me, I'd build something that would make you EAT those words!
Wily: *approaching the cowering Doc* Whassamatter? Can't fight your OWN battles, wuss boy? *kicks sand on Doc*
Bass: *under breath* Look who's talking...
Mega: You'd better cut it out, Wily! You're nothing but a bully!
Bass: *still muttering* Niiiiice comeback there, hero-boy.
Roll: I wish they knew how juvenile they looked...
Bass: That's for sure.
Roll: *smirking sultrily* Wanna go for a walk?
Bass: *raises eyebrow* Okay.
*Roll and Bass plunge into the jungle, holding hands. Plant Man watches them leave"
Plant: *muttering* Just don't do it in the poison ivy, you two...
Tengu: *opens one eye* Keep it down, will ya? How's a guy supposed to get his beauty sleep with you peons screaming like banshees?
*Pluto 'accidentally' hurls a coconut at Tengu, hitting him in his...um...special area.*
Tengu: *inaudible muttering that, if clear, wouldn't be fit for broadcast TV. Maybe cable...*
Pluto: Oops. Nailed Prince Tengu in the Royal Jewels. My bad.
*Tengu floats up and grabs Pluto by the tail, trying to pull him down from the tree. Pluto slashes at Tengu, nicking the end of Tengu's long nose off.*
Tengu: *wails* AAAARRRRGGGHHHH! MY FACE! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE! YOU @#$%&*# CAT THINGY! YOU RUINED MY BEAUTIFUL FAAAACCCEEEE!
Pluto: Man, your ideas of beauty are SERIOUSLY out of whack. *Giggling, Pluto jumps from treetop to treetop, heading into the jungle. Tengu gives chase*
*camera pans back to Indy at Central HQ. Indy's about to say something when Sailor Pluto runs in.*
S. Pluto: Indy, you got a letter from the future. It's from Ice Blue X. *she hands Indy a manila envelope. Indy squeals happily.*
Indy: Thanks a lot, Pluto! *Pluto leaves, and Indy opens the envelope.* EEEE! This is the brand new Gundam Wing hentai that Icey told me was coming out! *Indy opens the X-rated manga and promptly drools.* Oh, DUO! My God, doesn't that hurt your back? *Indy turns the pages, examines them from different angles, and Oohs and Aahs.*
Proto: Indy, what are you... *he sees what Indy is reading.* GIVE ME THAAAAT!
*he snatches the mag, Indy whines in protest.*
Proto: Indy, this is neither the time nor the place. Show now, smut later.
Indy: *miserably* Okay. *brightening* It seems that the Mega tribe is having problems getting along. There's a lot of fighting amongst themselves, except for... THIS.
*the clip of Bass and Roll holding hands is replayed*
Indy: Just an innocent hiking trip? Or is a forbidden romance blooming on our fair island?
Proto: You're delusional. My sis doesn't find Bass even REMOTELY attractive. I swear, you can conjure a romance out of thin air.
Indy: We'll see. Anyways, let's see what's going on on the West Side with the X tribe, shall we?
*camera cuts over to the X tribe's campsite. The tribe has just eaten dinner, and they all look annoyed except for Iris, who looks guilty.*
Iris: Sorry, guys. I told you I can't cook.
Toxic: That's no excuse. Me and Crystal spent ALL DAY catching those fish...
X: *dryly* When you could have been helping with the campsite...
*Crystal Snail shoots X a dirty look*
Toxic: ...And you go and burn them to near inedibility. Honestly, girl, I thought you had more sense.
*the tribe murmurs their approval. Iris bursts into tears and clings to Zero.*
Iris: Oh, Zero! Tell them I didn't mean it!
*Zero cringes, but nods to Iris.
Zero: Guys, I don't think she did such a crappy job on purpose....
Vile: You're just sticking up for her because you want her in the sack!
*lots of angry murmuring, Sigma stands up.*
Sigma: Fellow reploids, we have nothing to gain by squabbling amongst ourselves like this. It's something the primitive models on the other side of the island would do. I say we all forget about the... trout fiasco, go for a nice, relaxing swim before it gets dark, come back, and build up the fire for the evening. What say you all?
*excited agreeing, the X tribe runs for the ocean.*
X: C'mon, Zero! I'll race ya!
*X takes off after the others. Zero is about to chase after when Sigma stops him.*
Sigma: Zero, a word, if you please.
Zero: Yeah? What's up?
Sigma: I've done some research before we all came here. The stolen treasures of Dr. Wily are worth a fantastical amount. Lucky be the reploid that can seize them for himself, but for now, we must survive as a tribe. Cut out the fat. Only the strongest will last.
Zero: Say what?
Sigma: I say we strengthen our chances of winning. Form an alliance with me. Vote X off of the island tonight.
Zero: WHAT?!? I can't do that! X is my best friend!
Sigma: Zero, you are destined to ally with me! Vote X off tonight! It is your destiny!
*Zero looks like he's thinking hard.*
Sigma: *smoothly, extending his hand* Think of what a powerful team we would make, Zero. Just shake my hand, and seal the deal.
*Trancelike, Zero extends his hand. He is about to shake Sigma's hand when he blinks, gasps, and shakes his head.*
Zero: No. No! NOOOOOO! *he runs toward the beach, away from Sigma.*
Sigma: *calling after him* You'll be back! You can't fight fate!
*camera cuts back to HQ. Indy is looking in vain for where Proto hid her Gundam Wing hentai.*
Indy: So, Sigma tries to sow the seeds of betrayal in the X tribe. Zero's managed to slip away from this shady character's influence this time, but will he hold out until Sigma gets voted off, if that happens?
Proto: *looking suspiciously at Indy* After the break, it's time for the council meetings. Who will we be saying goodbye to? Wait and find out, when Survivor 20XX returns. *to Indy* You're not looking for that smutty manga, are you? I told you I'd give it back after the show's over.
Indy: *pouting* Oh, thpppt. YOU just want to look at it.
*Proto begins a long, overly defensive tirade about his sexual orientation as the camera cuts to commercials.*
*commercial break, including ads for Slim Jims, Lugz, Geico auto insurance, the Cell, and a paid political endorsement advising the Canuck and Americano public to re-elect Ice Blue X for Prez of the Universe.*
*camera re-opens on Central HQ.*
Proto: ...and to close, I am NOT gay.
Indy: Okay, OKAY! To those of you coming back from commercials, just let me say that there are times when you should be thankful for them there commercial breaks.
*Proto gives a nasty glare*
Indy: Anywho, I am now headed to the X tribe meeting, while Proto is joining his peeps at the Mega tribe meeting. *they teleport to the meeting sites.*
*Mega tribe meeting site. There are stone benches and a large stone table surrounded by 8 tiki torches. On the table are a pencil, 8 sheets of paper, a wooden bucket with a lid, a wooden torch snuffer, and a tiki god pendant.*
Proto: Okay, guys. This is the drill. Come up one at a time and write the name of whoever you want voted off on these sheets of paper. You can't vote yourself off, and you can only vote once. Any questions?
Roll: Yeah, what's the necklace for?
Proto: This is an Immunity necklace. Starting next week, we'll start playing two kinds of games- Immunity challenges and Reward challenges. The Immunity necklace goes to whoever wins the Immunity challenge, and prevents them from being voted off for one council meeting. Got that?
*the Mega tribe nods.*
Proto: Okay, cast your votes.
*the tribe comes up one by one and vote. They put their ballots into the bucket through a slot in the lid.*
Proto: *removing the lid* Okay, let's see. *reads* Dr. Light. Dr. Light. Tengu. Pluto. Dr. Wily. Dr. Light. Mega Man. Dr. Wily. *he looks up at the tribe* Sorry, Dad. You're off. Come forward, please.
*Doc comes forward. Proto hands him the torch with his name on it.*
Proto: Dr. Thomas Light, you are now exiled from the island. *he solemnly puts the torch out* The tribe has spoken.
*Wily bursts out laughing*
Wily: What a pansy! Bye bye, Thomas! DO send me a postcard!
*Doc calmly turns around, decks Wily square in the jaw, and leaves while everyone is still in shock.*
Proto: *flustered and shocked* O-over to you, Indy.
*Over on the West Side, Indy explains the rules and waits while the votes are casted. Sigma keeps glancing malevolently at Zero, who is sitting by X, far, far away from Sigma. Iris is clinging to Zero's arm.*
Indy: Okay, let's see here... Iris, Iris, Iris, Iris, Sigma, X, Zero, Toxic. Iris is gone.
*Iris wails and hugs Zero and Colonel before coming forward.*
Indy: Iris, you are exiled from the island. *Indy puts out Iris' torch* The tribe has spoken. THROW HER TO THE DRAGON!
*Iris yelps in fright as she is seized by two burly men and thrown into a nearby pit. Screaming, ripping, and crunching sounds come from the pit, followed by a loud burp.*
Red: Excuse me!
Indy: No problem. *turns to the camera* Well, that's all for this week. Till next time, I am the eggman, they are the eggmen, I am the walrus, Kook kook ka joob! 'Ta!