Welcome back!
I've been doing a lot of reading recently because I set a goal to go through fifty books this year, so if anyone has any suggestions, just let me know! I'll probably either keep my goal or raise it next year because this has been an awesome experience! Although I normally read a lot, I'm slow for some reason (Shocking, right? Considering my posting speed? Haha!) and don't get through as much as I'd like to. And don't even get me started on how many books I have on my bookshelf that I still need to read! You know, classic booklover stuff. Anyway, all of it has been very inspiring, and I'm excited to experience more genres. So lay it on me!
Now on to the chapter I've had planned for the past… two-ish years? Believe me, I'm facepalming myself.
As always, happy reading!
~MisticLight
~.~.~.~
~.~ Day Thirteen ~.~
Margaret stretched her legs over a picnic blanket and let the sun warm her skin. Her toes brushed against Edmund's pants as he gazed into the field below. They were at the crown of a grassy hill painted with flowers. Traintracks divided the field further out, and a river ran just beyond it. Beside Margaret sat a basket packed with food.
"It's a beautiful day," she smiled. She expected Edmund ro make a remark, but he continued to face forward. Concerned he hadn't heard her, she nudged him with her foot. "What do you think?"
Silence.
A cloud passed over the sun, temporarily shutting out the warmth and casting a shadow over them. Edmund's features in particular appeared darker, and Margaret pulled her legs in. "Edmund?"
Still no response.
"What's wrong?" She sat up straighter as a biting wind whipped through her. Irritation crossed her face, but when the surrounding flowers were lost to a sudden green mist, her expression turned pale. Edmund leaned forward as she sucked in a terrified breath. "I told you it was real."
It was supposed to be a joke, but her tone came out wrong. She was too distracted by Edmund. He was not acting like himself: quiet, unblinking, frowning. Concerned, Margaret crawled forward and gripped his arm.
"Edmund, this isn't funny." Her accusation was answered with silence.
Margaret gently shook him, trying to snap him from whatever trance he was in, but his torso merely rocked with the motion of it. Her insides turned to ice despite the tears burning her eyes. Desperation added force to her shakes. His whole body trembled from it. "Just look at me!" she pleaded.
"If you're going to say it, just say it," he spat. Still he did not turn.
The statement was so sudden, so hardening, that it took Margaret aback. Her hands paused their movement and she could hardly breathe as she blinked back her brimming tears. "Say… say what?"
"You know what it is, but you refuse to share it." The cruelty in his voice brought the mist closer around them. Margaret's fingers tightened on his sleeve.
"I don't…" She shook her head and the mist encircled them even further. His anger was fueling its course. Already it covered the flowers. She nodded towards it. "Whatever it is, we can sort it out, but you need to calm down. You're making the mist worse."
"No, you're making it worse." He ripped his arm away from her and stood up. His words began to dig at an understanding, yet confusion left her gripping after him. "You always do this! Every time you lie to everyone around you about how you feel. I thought you loved me?"
"I do lo-" she nearly said it, but paused. This was not how her confession was supposed to happen. Edmund still wouldn't even look at her. "I care for you, Edmund. I've always cared." Slowly she stood and reached a hand towards him. If he could only look at her…
He snatched her hand and she whimpered at its suddenness, her heart pounding. His voice was as hard as his grip. "Then say it."
"Ow," she cried, trying to break free. "You're hurting me."
"Say it!"
Margaret wanted to. She longed to tell him so much that it haunted her every second she did not release it. Yet she had been scorned by it before. She had her parents, but they grew more distant every year. No one at school tolerated her, deeming her too strange to fit in. Only Annette had loved her, and even she, too, seemed to be distanced by it. What if she gave Edmund her heart and he came to realize he could not give it back? Or worse, what if he never gave her the chance to show just how much she truly loved him?
"Edmund, I… I'm sorry, but I can't. I-"
"Fine!" he shouted, throwing her arm back with such a force that Margaret could not stifle her whimper. "Keep it to yourself, then!"
She did not understand why he was acting this way. The boy she loved would never harm her, would never push her so hard into doing something she was not ready for. It made her heart falter. When Edmund finally shifted his gaze onto her, she could no longer restrain her tears. His eyes, normally so familiar to her, held no kindness as swirls of green clouded over them.
"No, not you, too. Please," she cried.
The reaction only made him scowl. Such a frown did not belong on his face. It made him seem older, more hostile. She backed away. He followed.
"I always have to tiptoe around you. Whether you're upset with your parents, feuding with Annette, or simply hiding your thoughts, you expect me to just stand around and take all of you in. I'm never allowed to have my own problems, or say when you're wrong. If I did, you'd become even more of a wreck than you already are!"
Margaret knew the words were fueled by the mist, but that did not make them any less harder to bear. They were still coming from Edmund. Her Edmund. The boy she loved. Except, he was no longer that boy. Just a cruel copy of him.
Yet these thoughts had come from somewhere. Knowing they must have been harbored deep within his mind felt like a shard of ice slicing into her gut. She clutched herself as she continued to back away, nearly tripping over the folds of the picnic blanket. Edmund continued to follow her. In the distance, she heard the muffled whistle of a train.
"When will I get a say in anything? Will you ever trust me?"
"Of course I do!" she squeaked, feeling smaller with every accusing word. "I just didn't know-"
"Didn't know? Or didn't care enough to see?" he spat back.
She winced. "I already told you that I care!"
Edmund shook his head. "You expect me to believe that when you never let me in? Never try to see that someone besides you is capable of feeling?"
When Margaret took another step, she felt a coolness prickle her back. The mist. Her breath caught and she stopped retreating. They were at the edge. There was nowhere else to go. The train beyond sounded again, louder, as though straying from the tracks and driving towards them. Edmund did not seem bothered by either as he took another step.
"Stop, please," she begged, fresh tears glistening down her cheeks. "I'm sorry! I… I…" Desperate and trapped, she reached for him. His chest pushed them aside as he continued towards her. "Please! Edmund, the mist! We're going to fall in. Just tell me what to do!"
"Tell you?" He cackled, finally pausing his stride. If it weren't for the venom tainting his voice, she would have been relieved. "You already know. Unlike you, I've opened myself up over and over and over again… and every time you give me nothing."
His voice cracked, and for a moment Margaret hoped the boy she loved had returned. She forced herself to look into his strangely foreign eyes, to see beyond the fog that glossed over them. Yet it refused to dissipate and she felt the mist surge over her shoulders. It clung to her clothes, beckoning for her to slip in.
"No," she said, uncertain if she meant to direct it towards him or the mist.
Edmund's scowl deepend. He leaned forward until his cheek brushed against hers. His breath was hot against her skin as he whispered: "I never loved you."
Margaret's heart dropped into the pit of her stomach, though the weight was not strong enough to anchor her as Edmund pushed her into the mist. Clouds of green swiftly enveloped her into a cool darkness, pierced only by the sound of a train whistle crashing into her.
~.~.~.~
The cavern Annette stood in was dark. So dark that she could not see her hands when she held them to her face. There was water, though. She could hear it rushing all around her. The tide seemed to move quickly, as though about to tip over the edge of a cliff. She was afraid to move in case she got carried away with it.
"Hello?" she called. Her voice did not echo. She took a cautious step forward, relieved to find the space dry. "Hello? Is anyone there?"
A distant soft green glow answered. Just the sight of it calmed her. As the light grew, Annette noticed it was not just a light. A woman was centered within it. Her skin was pale, as though she hardly walked in the sun, and her hair the color of honey. A fluttering green dress cascaded around her.
Annette was so startled by the appearance of such an elegant lady in so strange a place that she blinked several times to be sure she was real. Each time the woman remained. Something about her made Annette's head spin. Something about the woman unsettled her, but she was the only person who could help her find a way out. As though reading the girl's mind, the woman beckoned her forward. With nowhere else to go, Annette followed the silent summons.
She did not know how long she followed the woman before her vision adjusted to the green glow. The first feature Annette noticed was the water. It rapidly rushed around her, spraying mist she could not feel. Peering down, she noticed the water parted for her feet. Every movement produced a perfect pocket for her foot to find dry rock instead of a slippery surface. It also covered the spaces she left behind.
Curious, she thought as her eyes trailed back to the green lady. The current rushed towards the woman, as though urging her to run closer, but hesitancy held her back. Something still didn't feel quite right about, yet she found could not pull entirely away either.
Eventually the water curved to the right. It crawled onto the wall and formed a large circle. The waves quickened over the shape so the foam of the water created a frame. A picture began to form. Squinting at the image cleared, Annette recognized the picture as Caspian's Castle. It was the same view she had seen as she rode the Griffin all those years ago, back when it was Miraz's Castle.
Caspian suddenly stepped out of the watery picture. He was completely dry, but an edge of distress crossed his features. Although searching the room, his eyes passed right through her.
"Annette?" The waver in his voice made her pause. Something was wrong. She ran a hand through her hair, catching the ends with her fingers. "Annette? I need you!"
"I'm right here!" she began, waving at him. Still he did not register her. She took a step closer. "Caspian, I'm right here. I'm coming to-"
"Annette?" A new voice pulled her across the room. The sound alone caused her heart to leap into her throat. It was higher, more frantic, with a sense of urgency mixed into it. Caspian did not seem to register the voice, but her breath caught with recognition. Margaret. "Annette, where are you? It's time to come home!"
When she spun around, Annette found the stream had created another path with yet another circle of waves upon the opposite rocky wall. This time the image was of her shared bedroom with Margaret in England. Her friend stood just outside, as though having recently emerged from it. She was pale as she, too, nervously searched the cavern. Just like Caspian, she did register Annette's presence.
"Just a moment, Margaret," she shouted above the increasing crashing of the waves. "Something's wrong with Caspian. I just need to-"
As she stepped towards him, a cry emerged from Margaret. "Annette, please! Don't leave me! Everyone always does. You're all I have left. Where did you go?"
The pure fear she held was enough to make Annette want to cry. "I would never leave you, Margaret. You've got to know that."
She rushed to her friend, but only two steps in and Caspian called for her once more. Turning back, she found his eyes had finally ocated her. Warmth entered them as relief smoothed his brows. Behind him, the portal seemed smaller. She cocked her head. "Caspian?"
"Annette," he briefly smiled before the panic returned. He gestured towards the portal. "We have to go. The mist, it's in Narnia!"
"Oh no," she gasped. She ran back towards him, only to be held by Margaret's pleas.
"It's closing!" she cried again. "Annette, we don't have much time! Please!"
When Annette turned back, the portal for England was significantly smaller. Margaret appeared wild and frantic beside it as she searched the darkness for her. Similar to Caspian, she managed to find her and smiled when their eyes locked.
"There you are," she breathed. A similar sense of calm and relief briefly relaxed her features before snapping away again. "We're running out of time! We've got to go… Now!"
"Now?" Annette slid closer to Margaret. "Didn't you hear Caspian? Narnia's in danger. We can't leave yet!"
Another step, and another pull from Caspian. This time she was certain the portal shrunk. What is happening?
She paced between them. Each time the water parted for her, and each time the portal from the opposite side shrank. Margaret and Caspian looked to Annette expectantly, as though equally waiting for her to join them yet anticipating the disappointment of being left behind. They still did not register the other's presence, only hers.
Annette faced this decision before. It had haunted her excitement upon returning. Even when she pushed it aside to focus on the mysteries at hand, she knew it lied on the horizon. Someday she would have to make the choice all over again, and there may not be a third time. A step towards one meant an end to the other. She could not have them both! Yet she could not leave them behind.
She felt her knees buckle. For a moment she thought she would fall, but the reappearance of the green lady stayed her. There was a warmth emitting from the green glow Annette had not felt before, and she was thankful for it. The water that had once split towards Margaret and Caspian reformed so the path only led to her. Annette felt a pull as it swirled around her.
"Come, Lady Annette," the green lady soothed, beckoning her once more. Her voice was lovely and trilling. It reminded Annette of the last drops of cold lemonade on a hot summer afternoon; refreshing yet leaving you wanting. "Love is such a fragile thing, my dear. Why should you put yourself through this again? There is no need to face the pain of losing half. Not when I can help. I can make it so you have both… forever."
"Forever?" Annette's voice cracked with an anxious sob she hadn't been aware she was holding back. Just the thought of having both Margaret and Caspian with her forever loosened the vines burdening her heart. She felt light.
The green lady smiled and strode forward until she was but an arm's length away from Annette. She reached out her hand. "Come with me. Let me ease this suffering."
Annette looked from Margaret to Caspian, each one begging her to go with them. Their voices bristled with fear as their shouts fought to overpower the other. Each word echoed off the wall so powerfully that they crashed through Annette's body, stabbing her with every syllable. Looking at them, listening to them, choosing between them… it was all so painful. Annette could hardly breathe. All she wanted was for it to go away, and her deliverance waited just before her. It was her only chance to give all three of them happiness.
She grabbed the green lady's hand.
Delicate fingers clasped around her wrist, and for a moment Annette felt peace. Then the hand holding hers transformed into the scales of a snake as it moved to coil around her wrist and slither to her elbow. She looked back to the face of the woman, finding instead the head of a serpent. It lunged towards her suddenly, fangs digging into the left side of her neck. She yelped, but it was drowned out by a darkness even deeper than the cavern. She felt cold.
~.~.~.~
Both Margaret and Annette were awakened by a roar of thunder. They quickly shot forward in their shared bed, each panting and with a racing heart. Margaret gripped the sheets as though they would keep her from falling while Annette, still shivering, placed a hand on her neck just below her left jaw.
They stared ahead in terror until a flash of lightning pulled them from their thoughts. Margaret looked at her friend. The fire still burning in the room cast a golden glow onto her face. "Nightmare?"
Annette, eyes wide, nodded. She pulled her hand away expecting to see blood, yet finding little relief when there was none.
Margaret loosened her grip on the sheets. "Was it a bad one?"
Annette nodded, but offered no more. She moved her hand to her neck and back again. Still no blood, though the sting of the bite lingered.
"Mine too," Margaret breathed. Just the thought of the mist prickled her skin. She debated whether she wanted to talk about it with her friend, but every time she closed her eyes, all she saw was Edmund's kind face morphing into a sneer. She flinched at the memory. The only person she wanted to talk this through with was him.
Annette didn't want to share her dream either. Not because she was afraid of telling Margaret, but because it was a discussion that had already been done countless times before. Her focus instead lied on the woman. Who was she? And how had Annette so easily fallen for her?
Without realizing it, both girls trailed into silence, lost in their own thoughts. It was broken by a soft rap on the door, making each jump despite the soft sound. Their attention flicked to the door as it slowly creaked open.
"Margaret? Annette? Are you awake?" a soft voice whispered through the crack. Lightning struck and Lucy's pale face shone in. She seemed as much in a stupor as them.
Margaret was the first to recover. Blinking, she slipped her feet to the floorboards, hesitating only a moment before releasing the sheets to open the door. The ship rocked, tipping her balance and causing her to stumble forward. She winced.
Lucy was still in her nightgown, showing her visit lied in hope rather than a nighttime stroll. Her face relaxed when she entered the room. She looked from Annette's faraway expression to Margaret's tight grip on the door. "I'm assuming you also had a bad dream?"
Annette suddenly shivered again as Margaret nodded. "Thankfully the thunder got us up. It was so loud, you could have told me Aslan was here and I'd believe it!"
Lucy clasped her hands, smiling. "Oh, did he visit you too?"
"You saw him?" Margaret asked, mystified. Annette perked up, warmth finally finding her.
"Yes! He helped me. He…" she looked between them, but as the memory of her dream found her, the excitement left. She turned solemn. "The dream I had felt so real… I thought I could never go back to the way things were. But Asaln pulled me from it! He told me I doubted my value, and that I shouldn't run from who I am. He reminded me that I need to believe in myself again."
When Lucy said the word 'believe,' the other two felt a gentle voice nudge it further into their souls. For a moment, Margaret's fear of the unknown dissipated and the walls she'd built around her heart shook. They were not as sturdy as she thought, but she found she wanted them to crumble. Edmund crossed her mind and she smiled. Annette, on the other hand, felt her desire to constantly make everyone happy turn into a calm confidence. These people were her friends! Just because she made a choice did not mean the others would lose something. If she was happy, they would be, too.
The calming moment was interrupted by another blast of lightning. It was so close that the whole room flashed white. The girls shuddered. Annette pulled the blankets tighter around her and turned to Margaret.
"This storm is so cruel, I doubt the thunder saved us. Though he did not appear for us, I know it was Aslan. Perhaps even now, he's helping us in his own way." As if confirming her theory, another rumble of thunder resounded. It was softer than the others. Almost comforting, if not for the bright flash that followed. It was a reminder that they were not out of this yet, though the encouragement to push forward helped ease the tension. Annette sat up straighter. "If we all had a nightmare, what about Gael? Or Caspian and Edmund?"
"Gael seemed fine when I left," Lucy shrugged. "When I first awoke, she was distressed in her sleep and she kept mumbling for her Mummy. I was about to wake her, but suddenly her face smoothed. She seemed peaceful. I think whatever nightmare she had must've gone away. So I didn't want to disturb her and risk her having another horrible dream. And I wanted to see Edmund, which I knew she wouldn't care for. I was actually on my way there, but I wanted to check on you both first. Since you're awake, did any of you want to come with me?"
"Yes!" Margaret quickly replied, clutching the collar of her shirt. "If we had a nightmare, they must've had one too. Perhaps together we can crack this." She took steps towards the door when she noticed Annette hadn't moved. Margaret cocked her head. "You coming?"
Annette turned her gaze from her expectant friends to the rain pounding on the large window. Just the sight of the ribboned droplets drew her back to her dream and the cold emanating from it. A new shiver shook her. "No, I'm going to stay. I just…" she shook her head and sighed, "I can't go out there right now."
Though Margaret did not know the extent of Annette's dream, she knew it was probably still affecting her, just like her own was. She reached out and squeezed her hand. "Try not to think about it too much."
"I'll try," she promised with a smile, returning the gesture. Her gaze flicked to the fire. "Maybe if I warm up I can fall asleep again."
Margaret nodded and followed Lucy out of the room. As she slipped over the threshold, she swore she heard Annette mumble, "The mist found us after all."
~.~.~.~
Lucy knew a way to the crew's sleeping quarters that kept them relatively safe from the raging storm outside. They had to dodge around droplets as they tiptoed across the ship, but they managed to stay dry by the time they reached Edmund and Caspian's hammock. Both were still in a restless sleep. Caspian in particular, as he tossed around mumbling "Father." Peering around those nearby, it seemed nearly all the crew were in the same position. Except for Eustace, who calmly snored with one leg hanging over the edge of his hammock.
Probably because being here is his nightmare, Margaret thought. It would have made her smile, but the darkened atmosphere turned it serious.
Cautiously, Lucy approached her brother. She shook his arm. "Edmund." Her whisper stirred him, but not enough to release him from the dream's hold. She shook him harder. "Edmund!"
Whether the dream came to an end or Lucy's louder call worked, Edmund jolted forward. In a flash the sword he shared with Margaret was drawn, pointing towards an empty space. His eyes darted across it, searching for something only he could see. Margaret sensed the fear he was trying to stave off because of how heavily he breathed.
"Oh, Lucy… Margaret," he sighed, lowering the sword. There was a nervousness about him that worried Margaret. It was only heightened by the whites of his knuckles still wrapped around the hilt. "Why are you here?"
He sounded far away, as though still being pulled from sleep. Ignoring all the pain the false Edmund had caused her, Margaret surged forward to grip the hand of her Edmund with both of hers. It was clammy despite the coldness of his skin. "You're all right. Nothing will harm you here."
Before he could say anything, thunder interrupted with a crack of lightning. The room flashed. Moments later, Caspian awoke. He gasped as the room came into focus.
"We can't sleep," Lucy said to explain their presence.
"Let me guess…" Edmund scanned all of them, but his gaze returned to Margaret. "Bad dreams?" In answer, Lucy looked down, Caspian ran a hand through his hair, and Margaret solemnly nodded. Edmund smoothed his thumb over her fingers. "So either we're all going mad, or something's playing with our minds."
"We're not that mad. So it's got to be the mist," Margaret said, her resolve from the previous evening returning. "It has to be."
"And we are not as prepared as we hoped," Caspian sighed. He swung his legs over the side of the hammock just as Edmund fell back on his own, defeated. "We should have listened to you."
"I know." Margaret did not mock him when she answered, but her confidence pushed out a brief smile. It fell once the storm rocked the ship again. "All we can do now is move forward. Maybe we should wake the crew to tell them?"
"We won't have to if these nightmares do it for us," Edmund mumbled.
Caspian ignored him. "No, let them sleep. We will warn them once this storm clears."
"If it clears," Margaret groaned. A silence stretched between them as the uncertainty of it filled them. After another rumble of thunder, Margaret got to her feet. "Well, it can't get much worse than this. Perhaps we're near the end of it."
"It could be worse, though." Lucy said. She seemed suddenly uncertain of herself. "We could be fighting with each other, like some of the crew. Or we could accidentally wish upon it and something awful could happen. What if there's no Aslan to save us then?"
The panic in her voice drew Edmund's attention. "You know we wouldn't let something like that happen. What's all this about?"
Lucy twiddled her hands without answering.
Margaret, however, understood without her needing to. "Your dream."
She nodded. When lightning flashed, her eyes glistened. "It was awful."
"Oh, Lucy." Edmund sat up and she immediately ran into his arms, the tears she'd been holding back releasing within the embrace of her older brother. Margaret stepped back to give them some space.
"All I wanted was to be like Susan. Everything that happened… I didn't mean for any of it to come true. I just… just…" her words were lost between her muffled sobs and Edmund's shirt. He patted her back as though he already knew what she'd seen. "If it wasn't for Aslan, I don't know what would have happened."
"It was only a bad dream. I'm sure you would've woken up and everything would be just the way it was. Besides, it's like Aslan always says," he gently guided her back so he could hold her at arm's length. Since Edmund was still in the hammock, they were nearly at eye-level. "Nobody is ever told what would have happened. You can only discover what will."
Lucy sniffled and smiled.
"Did you really see him, then? I swear, he's always liked you more."
"He does not!" Lucy laughed, pushing his arms away.
Edmund chuckled. "I don't know why you'd want to be like Susan anyways. She's only interested in lipstick and invitations anymore. You're way more fun. You like adventure and are always trying to find the goodness in others, no matter how they appear. There's never any judgment or stubbornness from you. I still miss Peter and Susan, but I'd rather have you here with me than them."
"Thanks Edmund," she whispered before yawning. She tried covering it, but it quickly spread to Margaret and Edmund. "Sorry. I was so upset with everything, I didn't realize how exhausted I still was." She turned to Margaret. "Did you want to head back?"
Margaret was beginning to feel tired again, but hadn't had a chance to get her own solace from Edmund yet. Seeing him with Lucy had eased her more than she expected. The boy in her dream would never touch her, not when she had the one she loved was always so kind and comforting. It made the urge to stay grow. She wasn't ready to leave him. "Actually, do you think I could possibly stay a while longer? Maybe… for the rest of the night?"
The questions came out more hesitant than she meant. Something about them finding a voice had turned them awkward, making them lose strength. The silence it caused only made her nervous.
Sensing it, Edmund spoke up. "I don't mind, though I don't know where you would sleep."
Scanning the room, the closest unoccupied space was two hammocks over. She frowned. Why does everyone on the night crew have to sleep so far away?
"That's not a problem," Caspian said, standing and gesturing to his bed. "She can take my place. I need some time to think through everything." Margaret started to protest, but he held up his hand. "I insist. Please. I may help the crew on deck, so I will be gone the rest of the night anyway."
"You mustn't strain yourself," Margaret warned. She was still worried Edmund wasn't getting enough rest, and she knew if Caspian pushed himself, it was only a matter of time before he did, too.
"I will go where I am needed. If they do not want me, then I will lock myself away in the Map Room to see if I can come up with any ideas on what to do about our situation," he compromised. "Happy?"
Margaret crossed her arms in mock annoyance. "What about Lucy? If I'm taking your place, it's only fair you take mine and escort her back."
With a smile, Caspian held out his arm towards the young Queen, exaggerating his point with a graceful bow. "Your Majesty."
"Both of you are ridiculous." Lucy laughed, shaking her head. It was enough to break Margaret's composure and she released a smile. Lucy looped her arm through Caspian's. "Goodnight."
"May better dreams find you," Margaret returned, hopping into the hammock. They left once Edmund said his goodbyes.
She tried to settle herself so she could talk to Edmund, but as she stared at the floor above and swung with the sway of the storm, she found she could not find comfort. Nothing felt right. Each toss and every turn only made her more uncomfortable. The only time she'd ever fallen asleep in a hammock was accidentally on a summer afternoon. She'd been reading in the shade with Annette curled into a chair at her side. All she wanted was to rest her eyes for a moment before delving into the next chapter, but a rest turned into a doze. Her current position was the opposite in every sense of the word.
"You're still awake, aren't you?" Edmund's humored voice asked into the silence.
"Yes!" She thrust her hands into the air and waved them around as she spoke. "This isn't what I wanted. The waves are much louder down here than upstairs, and there's so much swinging! I don't know how you can stand this, really. It's horrible. And this hammock smells like Caspian."
Edmund nearly choked on his laughter. "Does he really smell that bad? I thought with all the rain-"
"I don't mean he smells, it just feels like he's everywhere and… ugh!" She brought her palms to her face. "This is just more than I was expecting. All I wanted was to be with you more."
"Why didn't you say so?" Edmund asked, a laugh still on his tongue. He started to shuffle in his bed and Margaret poked her head up. She found him balancing on his side as close to the edge as he could manage without tipping the whole thing. "It's not much, but I think there's enough room for you to squeeze in.
"Sort of defeats the purpose of Caspian nobly surrendering his bed," Margaret mumbled, though she did not hesitate to leave it..
Edmund adjusted himself as she crawled in, trying to find a way where they both would be comfortable despite the space. "Well we don't want to offend him. Maybe you should go back?"
"No!" quickly defended. Edmund settled on his back with another chuckle and Margaret curled onto his chest, smiling. "This is good."
He hugged her to him. "Good."
Margaret listened to the rhythm of his chest, the thrumming from within and the rise of each breath. It was much better than her previous arrangement, though there was still one thing bothering her before she could truly fall asleep. She traced the lines on his hands as she asked: "Edmund, have you ever, say… felt so trapped in our relationship that you would push me into the mist so I would disappear forever?"
"What?" The question alarmed him and he lifted his head to better look at her. When she did not stop toying with his hand, he realized the question was more serious than he anticipated. It was related to her dream. He closed his fingers around hers. "I promise never to do that to you, if you promise never to let the White Witch tempt me again."
She squeezed his hand, in turn understanding what his nightmare had been. "I promise."
He kissed the top of her head. "Finding you was one of the greatest things that's ever happened to me. I've never felt trapped, and I would never push you away. That's another promise I can make."
The heat of his kiss fell to her cheeks and she nuzzled into his chest, allowing herself to fall in love just a little more.
~.~.~.~
Annette gazed into the fire long after her friends had gone. Her mind kept going back to the moment when she took the green lady's hand. She'd felt trapped and the promises the woman offered would have fixed everything, but was that really true? All the woman did was speak the words she wanted to hear, and that temptation was enough for her to forsake both Caspian and Margaret. It troubled her how easily she'd been able to take herself out of the equation. Why couldn't she just make a decision?
She did not look up when she heard the door squeak open. "I'll come to bed soon. Were Caspian and Edmund all right?"
"You could just ask me yourself."
Caspian's lighthearted voice surprised Annette. Her attention snapped to him. "Oh! I wasn't expecting… Where is Margaret?"
"She wanted to stay with Edmund. I offered her my hammock. With all these bad dreams, I don't know if I'll be able to fall back asleep."
"I don't know if I can either, but I'm hoping."
"Then," Caspian shuffled his weight across his feet, "perhaps we can wait together?"
Annette softly smiled. "That would be nice."
He returned the gesture and approached the fire, leaning upon the mantlepiece. They both looked into its flames, relishing in its warmth after such an inescapably cold night. At length, Annette turned back to him. "The dream I had involved a green lady. Have you ever seen someone like her in Narnia?"
The ship harshly rocked as she asked her question, making her stumble. She grasped the mantlepiece and Caspian braced himself. When the waves settled as best as they could, he shook his head. "There have been ladies in green, but I'm afraid none I would specifically call a 'green lady.' Was she completely green? Even her hair?"
"No, just her clothes. She…" Annette clenched her fists, still angry with her dream-self for exploiting her inner fears. "She was very convincing. Everything she said sounded so wonderful and peaceful, but now I feel like I was only ever falling under her spell." Thunder resounded as though to heighten her point. She sighed. "At least she only seems to be alive in my mind. I don't know if I would survive if I truly faced her."
Caspian reached for her, but stopped himself a second later as a memory crossed his mind. "Perhaps this would help?" He reached behind him and pulled out a small silver dagger. Annette's heart swelled as she recognized the complex swirls and waves decorating the handle. This was not just any dagger, it was hers from the war they fought. She quickly reached out and pulled it to her. "I meant to give it to you sooner. I've had it with me for so long that I kept forgetting to return it to its rightful owner. Forgive me."
"There's nothing to forgive," she assured as she examined the blade. It was just as she remembered, albeit shined and sharpened. She put it back in its casing. "You've had it with you this entire journey?"
Caspian sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck. "Longer, I'm afraid… Since you returned to England. You left it in your room and I didn't want to put it with the rest of the weapons in case you came back. Then you did and I… I was so weary you may disappear again that I convinced myself if I held on to it, then there would always be a reason for you to return."
"I'm not going anywhere," she stated. When she realized it sounded like a promise, she backpedaled. "At least, not currently. I'll see you through this! I don't know what Aslan has planned… or even if I'd be able to decide what to do once he reveals it." Her voice softened after she mentioned the great lion and she looked away, ashamed. The soothing voice of the green lady filled her mind and she clutched her dagger harder in an attempt to banish it.
Except it was Caspian's hand shifting her face to meet his that silenced her. "There is more troubling you than this green lady."
Annette leaned into his palm. "There are so many decisions, and every one of them has a consequence. I can't imagine how you handle being the King of an entire country with such stakes. Is it even possible to appease everyone?"
"If there was, I would be the greatest King Narnia has ever had, outside of the Pevensies." He softly smiled at his own joke, but Annette was not yet in the mood for laughing. "It is impossible to make a choice that makes everyone happy, and not all consequences are bad. All I can do is choose the option I feel is best for Narnia, the one that makes our country the best version of itself. Then I must trust that I've made the right choice."
"And what if you don't?" She searched his face for any sign of regret. "Trust yourself, I mean. Just the other day you confided in me about not knowing what to do with the ship."
"Then I look at what not only is right for Narnia, but what is right for me. Which option makes me feel the easiest without sacrificing who I am? Which one makes me the happiest? I have to believe in myself and Narnia as much as they believe in me." Caspian smiled at Annette, but there was still uncertainty in her. He wanted nothing more than to take it away, to ensure her that she would not be alone with the burdens she carried. He exhaled, "Whenever I still cannot find the right solution, knowing I have someone like you I can rely on helps. I trust you completely, Annette."
She felt her heart flutter and her face grow hot. To hide it, she leaned into his chest. His arms immediately went around her. "I trust you, too. You always manage to make things better."
Already she felt her lingering fears start to dissipate. Serenity found her, yet with a clear mind came fatigue. She didn't realize how exhausted she was until she pulled away from Caspian and his face wrinkled with worry.
He led her to the bed and pulled the blankets over her shoulders. Annette's eyes felt heavy the moment her head hit the pillow, but she only closed them briefly when Caspian kissed her forehead. It was long and sweet, and when he pulled away she was left with a deep regret of seeing him go. Except, he didn't leave. He merely gazed at the door a long moment before stating: "I nearly forgot I don't have a bed to go back to." A clap of thunder brought Caspian to his senses. He shook his head and turned back to Annette. "The storm is just as brutal as it was before, and I said I'd check on the crew to see if they needed me."
This time he did try to leave, but Annette clutched his arm. A thought crossed her mind. It made her feel foolish, but after such a rough night, it was the one thing she knew that could make it better. "Or you could… stay here?" Her voice sounded small, so she coughed. "Not that the crew wouldn't need you. It's just, you're already on a rotation that would give you some rest and-"
"I would like that," Caspian interrupted. He was already smiling when she found the courage to look at him again. It eased her. "I can pull up the chairs by the fire to make a small bed and-"
"That's not quite what I meant." It was Annette's turn to interrupt. Her embarrassment returned. "You could stay… with… me?" Caspian looked to the space behind her where Margaret usually slept. Annette felt her ears turn red. A sudden panic had her add: "But only if you want to! I just… it would make me happier."
"You know," Caspian answered after a normal pause despite Annette feeling like it took eternity, "I feel the same way."
Neither of them could contain their childish smiles as Annette slid forward to give Caspian more room to settle in. He was quick to draw her to him, though, until her back pressed against his chest. His hold on her was tight as she hugged his arms over her heart, It was just the harmony they needed for sleep to find them.
It settled over the others, too. They were all lulled into a peace where nightmares no longer plagued them. Dreams, if they were had, were far sweeter than they had been for some time. When the crew awoke the following morning, all the rain had ceased and the sun shone for the first time in thirteen days.
Or fourteen, according to Eustace.
~.~.~.~
Anyone catch my future Natnia book references? Huh? I thought I was pretty clever :D
Once October hit, I made it my goal to post before my birthday. You know, as a little present to myself. And I'm pleased to say I did it! My birthday isn't until the fourteenth and it is only the tenth. So BOOM! The best present for me is now your present too.
So maybe then you could post a review? (Accidental rhyme, whoa!) You know, as another birthday present?
Cheers!