Alrighty, this is chapter 2 of the second arc.
Enjoy.
Edd LLC
Arc 2
Chapter 2- Here is your delivery
"Alright, here is your delivery." Double D said, handing over a small cardboard box wrapped in some kind of plastic casing.
The customer herself was a girl who looked to be in her late 20's. Her hair was strawberry blonde with a stripe of bright pink in it, a piercing in her lower lip. She was around Double D's height, but was even skinnier than he was. She wore a brown and black barista uniform that was just different enough that it wouldn't be a StarBuck's knock off. The name tag itself on the top right of her uniform. The actual name was crossed out with 'V.I.P' written over it. Regardless, the customer took the package with glee and smiled at the Ed.
"Please E-sign here to signify that you have received your package." Double D announced robotically, his tone dry and raspy as he held up Lee's work phone. Its screen held a one-page contract asking her to poke the small square at the bottom. The customer herself looked from her package to the coerced delivery boy. Her eyes scanning him up and down. The look on her face was a mix between confused, amused and 'what?'. That quickly shifted into a sly grin as she focused on Double D's torso, still clad in a tight black tank top undershirt.
"Lee, who is this?" The customer asked, her eyes going lower and lower. Double D didn't know how to feel about that. "He's adorable, and cut."
"I am, where?" Double D asked, shifting his head around- trying to get the best scan of his body he could. Turns out, he found plenty of scrapes and bruises. "Oh, I am. Thankfully, I'm not bleeding."
The customer snickered at that. "He a trainee? Don't tell me he's taking your route?"
"Nah." Lee answered behind the two. Double D turned around. Lee stepped out of his van's driver side door and strutted over to them. It wasn't a far walk. The delivery itself was taking place at a corner coffee shop. Specifically the outdoor seating section of the place. The parking was right next to it. The customer herself was sitting at one of the tables. Lee smiled at Double D as she made it up to them. "He's just a ride along for the day."
The Kanker swatted his bum, loudly. The customer laughed at that. Double D gasped before rubbing his behind. Lee's swat didn't hurt but if felt like the right thing to do... and he was checking if his childhood bully stuck a 'kick me' sign there or something. She didn't'.
"Well, I like him. See if you can keep him around. You could use a sidekick." The customer said, sliding the package he gave her into a bag sitting on the table. It had the same color scheme as her hair. "Especially one this cute."
"I know right." Lee snorted. "Believe it or not, its his big o'l brain I keep him around for... and these guns." Lee teased, poking at his head and then his arms.
"I...I don't know how to respond to this." Double D said, utterly confused and at a loss of what to do. Both girls laughed at this. This, this was something Double D knew all too well. Being laughed at. That, Double D was familiar with. Which was why he knew it wasn't a mocking laughter- but something else. Which just made him even more confused. For some reason, Double D felt his face heating up.
"I know!" Lee managed to spit out in the laughter, pointing at him. "Th-That makes it even better."
"L-Look at his face." The customer laughed out, also pointing at him. Her dyed hair flopping over her face. Double D stewed there for a moment, the two girls laughing at him even harder. Soon enough, it was too much and Double D sighed as he held up Lee's work phone to the customer again. Both girls stopped laughing, dropping down to giggles as they saw this. Double D read off the instructions sticker on the back of the phone.
"Dear customer, thank you for choosing 'Pick up artists' as your delivery service of the day. After you sign and date, please come back to us again for further affordable service. As always, stay classy... who wrote this." Double D asked, giving the directions on the sticker a second look. It was quiet in the coffee shop for a solid two seconds before the girl's laughter came back in a roaring vengeance. It got so bad that Lee actually had to grab hold of a nearby chair to keep from doubling over while the customer actually collapsed onto the table. "Th-This truly is a nightmare I can't wake up from, isn't it. I'm going to look down and see I'm n***, aren't I."
"Yes. Yes. Yes." Lee barked out, each word somehow a laugh.
"Th-That would be awesome!" The customer managed to force out, her voice turning into a gasping whisper. Clearly she was running out of breath.
"If that's all, I'm going back in the van. You can have her sign it." Double D sighed, defeated, as he plopped Lee's work phone down next to the customer's bag on the table before he turned toward his pride and joy- but before Double D could go more than a step, someone grabbed hold of his undershirt and tugged him back. The Ed was spun around with long, plump arms wrapping around him, trapping Double D in a bear hug. His head poking out above a very pale shoulder and next to some curly red hair.
"Oh, don't pout. You know we love you!" Lee teased before she squeezed. She wasn't holding back, either. Double D was having some trouble breathing.
"L-Lee... T-To har-hard." Double D gasped out, managing to slide out a hand to tap against her leg.
"That's right, feel the love." The customer giggled, hopping out of her chair and wrapping her arms around them both. She squeezed too, though not as hard as Lee.
"A-approaching asph-asphyxiation...dying." Double D coughed out, feeling his lungs collapsing. Everything was getting darker. Just before everything went out, the pressure was gone and the girls arms unwrapped themselves. Double D all but fell over, thankfully he managed to catch himself before then. Just hunching over, leaning his hand on the table.
"Huh, he's still up and going." The customer said, a cute smile on her face.
"For now." Lee said, her smile growing. The Kanker got the customer's attention, gestured to herself, then her, and finally to him. Lee ended it blowing a kiss to the Ed. Double D knew what was going to happen as the customer nodded happily to Lee. Double D shook his head as the girls leaned down, but there was nothing he could do as the two kissed him. The customer on his cheek. The kanker on his forehead.
Ding Dong, humpty Edd fell down.
"Holy crap, that actually happened!" The customer squeaked, excitedly. Clapping her hands together like a kid winning free candy.
"Told ya." Lee folded her arms at the Ed. "One of the many quirks of his that keeps the day fun."
"H-How do you do that?" Double D asked, embarrassed. "How is that scientifically possible... wait, you two know each other?"
"Meh, I know people." Lee shrugged before she grabbed Double D by his shoulders and hoisted him up to his feet like he was a plush toy. At first Double D didn't' know how to feel about that before deciding it was just more of what he already had today. "Vip is one of them."
"Vip" The customer snorted, the polished metal of her name tag shined in the sun. "Lee sent me a text about an hour before you showed up." V.I.P. said, finally E-signing Lee's work phone before handing it to her. "And a link. Edd LLC?"
"We do a bit of everything." Double D sighed, turning to Lee. "Including pro-bono work, apparently."
Lee blew him a kiss.
"Eddcellent! I'll definitely come to you guys if I have anything." V.I.P. laughed, holding up her phone to him. It was the LLC website. "Hey, Lee told me you didn't bring any of your company cards so here's one of mine."
"V.I.P.?" Double D asked, looking up from the card.
"Meh, Lee always told me the mystery is half the fun." The customer shrugged, a cutesy smile on her face. "Thought I'd try it."
"B-But you know my name." Double D stuttered, nervous himself.
"True, but I don't know your history. Though I know Lee was a part of it. That had to be quite the adventure." The customer answered, pointing at the Kanker before leaning over and giving Lee a quick peck on the lips. Lee didn't fight it. She wasn't even surprised. The kanker just smiled at the customer with a lazy wave. "It was for me." The customer pulled out a small wad of bills and handed it to Double D. "Thanks, you made my day. Call me later, cutie."
The customer grabbed her bag, and left.
"Uhhhhh, L-Lee... di-did you- her. What?" Double D stuttered, amazed. "This has to be a dream."
"Well its not a wet one, yet." Lee announced. Double D turned to find the Kanker back in his van, patting her hand on the drivers side door waiting for him. "We've still got work to do. Come on."
He did. The unlikely duo was off on their merry way. To Double D's surprise the little 'adventure' at the coffee shop was not an anomaly, nor was it the first time it happened during this little delivery route. Lee 'letting' Double D get out to drop off the package and introduce himself. The customer stares at him and jokes. Lee coming out to add in her two cents. All of which were for female customers. A handful of which hinted a similar 'history' with Lee as the barista. For the handful of male customers, Lee made sure he stayed inside the van and delivered the package herself. All of which was just a drop off and done. Usually lasting less than a minute. Thankfully, it was only at the coffee shop that Lee used that 'kiss' trick.
But still, it somehow felt like Double D was being paraded around.
Like a prized show dog.
Double D didn't know how to feel about that. He tried to think on it, but as it turned out the leader of the Kanker sisters was the talkative sort- and she did not accept someone forced into a conversation keeping their mouth shut as good feedback. Even if all Double D could mumble out were a mindless yes or two.
"And that's why I think 'Dawn of justice' is the best movie out there." Lee rambled on. "What do you think?"
Before Double D could force enough thoughts together for an answer, the phone pinged. The two of them looked at it in its holster on the van's dash.
"Huh, a package has been reset to 'priority'." Double D announced, reading the alert out loud. "Is that normal?"
"No, and its just that sack of potatoes back there."
Lee shook her head, pointing her thumb to the back of the van. The Kanker hit the alert and the new order jumped to the front of the delivery list. Its address popping up in the van's nav system. Lee looked at it and sighed, then she got real serious. Her smile was gone. Her face became stone. She leaned back into the seat as her arms grew stiff on the wheel. It got real quiet in the van. The only sounds being the occasional directions from the GPS. There was a cold, hard, oily feeling in the air that Double D didn't recognize- or at the very least was very unfamiliar with. The Ed didn't know what to say, so he just kept his mouth shut. Sitting there in the van as it drove to a place the scariest person Double D knew, didn't want to go.