Author's note: this is not a story to take too seriously.

"Have you got your hat?" Tommy asked as they hurried to get ready. "We're due at the Palace in an hour."

"It's all right for you. You're going in a suit. These uniforms are very uncomfortable. Anyway, we'd be on time if you hadn't been so randy this morning."

"It takes two," he replied as he pulled on his shoes and began to lace them. "And as I recall, there were zero complaints from you at the time."

Barbara stopped and looked at him. "What if she knows?"

"Who? And knows what?"

"The Queen. What if she knows we had sex this morning?"

"How on earth would she know? It's not like a big S appears on your forehead."

"She's the Queen. Of course, she'll know."

Tommy shook his head. Sometimes there was no arguing with Haverian logic. "Then she'd probably be pleased for us. Now, will you please find your hat."

Barbara's hand shook as she stood in line at the gates of Buckingham Palace. Other guests and their families for the investiture were in the same line and all dressed in uniforms or suits. Another longer line started at the other gate and had people dressed in gaily coloured medieval-style garb, most wearing flamboyant hats. Then a truck pulled up, and was ushered through. In the back, Barbara could see people dressed in outfits that looked like medieval peasants. "What's with the peasants?" she asked Tommy.

"The invitation said, 'followed by a themed garden party'. Looks like medieval is the theme."

"Is that normal?"

"No, they're normally just garden-variety parties."

Tommy winced when Barbara whacked him on the arm with the back of her hand. "Stop being so casual about this."

"Are you nervous?"

"No," she said, screwing up her eyes and staring at him as if he were from Mars, "I have breakfast with the Queen every day. Why would I be nervous?"

Once inside the entrance to the palace, everyone was greeted by a man dressed in a plain black coat that reached his knees and adorned only with a red armband. He took their invitation and read it. "Welcome to Buckingham Palace, Detective Sergeant Havers." He nodded to Tommy. "Lord Asherton."

Thank you," Barbara said, suddenly uncertain what the protocol before the ceremony should be.

"I'm afraid the Queen is not feeling up to an investiture ceremony today. Prince Charles will be presenting your medal."

Despite her nerves at meeting Her Majesty, Barbara's disappointment was more significant than he had imagined. "I'm sorry to hear that. I hope she'll feel better soon."

"I've been asked to escort you and Lord Asherton to her rooms after the ceremony for a special audience before the garden party."

Barbara looked at Tommy. This was too much to process. "Umm."

To her relief, Tommy stepped in. "Thank you. We'd be honoured. Should we look for you?"

"No, someone will find you. Just stay near the entrance to the Ballroom. Now, if you'd care to go upstairs, there'll be a briefing in the Picture Gallery before it starts. Lord Asherton, if you turn right at the top of the stairs, you'll be escorted to your seat."

The Lord Chamberlain was resplendent in his long black coat and gold braided lanyards as he bustled about giving orders to staff in only slightly less impressive uniforms. Barbara stood behind a man who was tapping his foot. Oddly, she found that calming. The procedure was simple. They would be taken to an annex beside the ballroom, lined up in order and then enter the room when their name was called. I can manage that… I hope.

Tommy quickly found his seat, which was in the front row facing the tall windows which were shaded with thin cream curtains to compliment the buttercream walls. He swivelled to look at the historic organ on the balcony level where the trumpeters and a small military band now stood. The room never failed to impress. He remembered as a young boy of sixteen coming here with his parents for a Christmas Ball and being mesmerised by the gilded columns and cornices. Then the floor had been timber, but today it was covered in thick red carpet, as was the large dais holding the red, velvet-covered table with the array of awards to be presented. The room was everything Barbara would hate. Ostentatious and loudly proclaiming the wealth of the owner. He hoped Barbara would be okay. She hated fuss, and this was fuss.

"Please stand for Prince Charles."

Chairs shuffled back as the audience stood. The Prince of Wales entered the room followed by The Queen's Body Guard of the Yeomen of the Guard. The National Anthem started up and then the military band continued with muted orchestral music. Tommy watched as the Lord Chamberlain took his place just inside the entrance to the door. The first few recipients were called forwards one-by-one. These people were being knighted, and bent their knee onto a red velvet stool while the Prince dubbed them on both shoulders. Barbra was next. Tommy could see her waiting in the doorway, standing at attention. It was not strictly necessary, but he understood that for Barbara, following exactly the procedure they had practised would keep her calm.

He beamed with pride when she was called forward, made a precision left-turn and stood in front of Prince Charles, who carefully pinned the medal onto her uniform and congratulated her. He was surprised but pleased to see her smiling broadly and chatting comfortably with royalty before Barbara turned and walked out the other side of the room.

"My medal," Barbara said, sticking her chest out.

"You were perfect. What did Charles say?"

"We're not supposed to say, but he congratulated me and said I was an honour to the Met. I wish Hillier had been able to hear that bit."

"Sergeant Havers?"

"Yes." The woman asking was dressed in a similar uniform to the men. "Please come with me."

Barbara remembered to curtsy and wait for the Queen to hold out her hand before shaking it with the same pressure. "Your Majesty." So far, so good.

"I'm sorry I was not up to presenting your medal," the Queen said, "but I wanted to ensure I thanked you personally. Afternoon tea?"

"Thank you, Ma'am." Barbara shot a glance as Tommy who was too busy shaking hands with the Queen to notice.

They followed a butler through to a second room.

"Babra!"

Barbra was almost knocked off her feet by Simon, who ran over and hugged her legs. "Pup wasn't allowed to come."

The Prime Minster came over and shook hands with them both. "I'm sorry. Simon is a little over-excited."

"You… ummm."

"Sorry, yes, we rather ambushed you, didn't we? It happened quickly. Her Majesty and I talked briefly about it last night. We thought an informal gathering to thank you again from the extended family, as well as my office and the nation, would be appropriate.

"Thank you. That's very thoughtful."

"So, Asherton, it's been a while", the Queen said as she took her seat at the table. She was looking frail but very contented. "You know I had hoped your grandfather would have married Margaret, but I think he was wise choosing your grandmother."

"I think he always had a pang of regret that it didn't work out between them, Ma'am," Tommy replied as he held out his hand for Barbara to hold as she lowered herself into the low and somewhat uncomfortable sofa. When he looked at her, she raised her eyebrows. She wanted to hear more about that story.

Afternoon tea was a selection of delicate small sandwiches, petit fours, and small savoury and sweet tarts. Tea was served in expensive fine China that looked as if it were as old as Queen Victoria. Barbara prayed that she didn't break anything.

"So," Peter said, "you two are official now?"

Barbara was confused. "Official?"

Tommy took her hand. "Yes, a bonus of the explosion was that it knocked some sense into both of us."

"Will you marry in Cornwall?" The Queen asked before tucking into her fourth cake.

Barbara shot a panicked look at Tommy. By official, the Queen must have thought they were engaged. Tommy took it in his stride. "We haven't discussed the details of our future yet, but I have plans."

Do you?

He looked at her and winked. "I need to formally propose. I hope she will have me."

"Can I be the ring man?" Simon asked. "I did that for Uncle Byron."

"You can have your own circus," his father said, scooping him up and carrying him to the window. "Oh, look, the festivities are beginning."

Barbara sighed with relief. She had feared that the Queen might have asked Tommy to get down on bended knee there and then.

"It's a 1500's party," the Queen said. "I hired that nice young man, Nathaniel someone, who played King Henry in the West End to reprise his role today. We have jousts and swords fighting, archery and plenty of merry maids."

"What a wonderful idea," Barbara said as she stood and walked to the window. "It looks like fun."

"Of course, you youngsters can join them. I just wanted to thank you personally for the service to our family and the nation."

"Oh look," Barbara said, "Henry is making a speech."

Rapturous applause could be heard through the window. Peter gestured to a butler who pulled the window up. It squeaked and squealed to the delight of Simon.

"Are they making a mess of my lawn? Garden parties play havoc with it, but with horses and archers, I'm not sure what I agreed to."

The Queen was helped to her feet by a woman who had been discreetly waiting in the corner. Using her oversized walking stick, the monarch made her way to the window. She stood between Tommy and Barbara while Simon and his parents moved across to the adjacent window. They watched as two jousters missed each other completely. On the second run, one man was unseated when his lance snapped against the fence. On the third, one lance struck the armour plating of the opposing horse. King Henry stood and booed loudly, encouraging the crowd to join in.

"Oh, he's put pressure on them now," the Queen said in a tone that reminded Barbara of Simon's unfettered enthusiasm, "come on Black Knight."

"Shouldn't you want the White Knight to win?" Tommy asked.

"Shhh. Don't spoil my fun. I can be wicked if I want to be."

"Yes, Ma'am."

Over to the left and considerably closer to the palace, a row of archers with longbows demonstrated their skill. Barbara could hear the twang of the bow as each arrow was let. Turning back to the joust, she watched as the two 'knights' waited at the top of the run. She could see the steam coming from the nose of the Black Knight's jet-black stallion. He was a large and powerful horse. In contrast, the White Knight was riding a grey horse that seemed jittery. As King henry dropped his arm, the two horses raced towards each other, separated only by the thin hedged fence.

Things started to move in slow motion. Barbara had a premonition, and it played out exactly as she imagined. The lance of the Black Knight hit the White Knight square on the chest, sending him flying backwards from his horse. The horse, already jittery, bolted across the lawn straight towards the archers.

Just before the horse crossed his path, an archer turned instinctively as his arrow fired. It missed the horse but rose high in the air. It was coming directly towards the window. Barbara didn't have time to think. She shoved the Queen into Tommy, knocking them both to the ground just a second before the arrow came through the window and straight through the sleeve of Barbara's uniform before plunging into the soft upholstery of the sofa.

She looked down in horror to see the Queen sitting on Tommy's stomach, and her walking stick snapped in two. Tommy was rubbing his head.

"Ma'am, I'm so sorry."

The Queen looked at the arrow, then up at Barbara. "I think you saved one's life."