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An Addendum: Landon Finds Out

After Hope learns the truth about Clarke.

Before Hope sees Clarke try to jump into the pit.

Lies always have a way of catching up to you.

Or, in her world, they spawned a monster that came and tried to suck the secrets out of you which led to a very unpleasant death.

But, now, the monster was gone.

And the secrets? Well.

They didn't seem to matter as much before since no one remembered her. No one cared what she was doing… or who.

Now, though, now it mattered.

There was guilt. Great mountains of it. She knew she needed to talk to Landon, but for a guy without powers of invisibility, he sure knew how to hide from her.

Also, she wasn't trying too hard to find him.

On top of her guilt, was the all consuming betrayal from Clarke… which gave her some idea how betrayed Landon would feel when she told him the truth.

Whether he decided to stay with Josie or not, he still deserved the truth.

And the truth? In truth, she dove head first into Clarke's arms and forgot everything he had already done to all of them. She never fully trusted him but with intimacy came a certain level of trust.

She let him touch her in ways no one ever had before. He knew her body as well as, if not better than, she knew it herself. He eased her through losing the last of her innocence and taught her all about pleasure. Made her feel desirable, beautiful, sexy. He showed her things she never knew her body was capable of.

He was everything a first sexual partner should be.

Call it stupidity on her part, but she never once thought she would regret all the things she did with him. Regret hurting Landon if the memories ever returned? Yes, she thought about that a time or two but she didn't think it would happen. Regret for being with Clarke in the first place? No.

She was just that stupidly naïve.

Worse? She fell for him somewhere along the way.

She was even dumber for thinking she could sleep with him and not develop feelings for him. But, she couldn't get off the tracks, she just steamrolled over every mental roadblock she tried to throw up, and traveled full speed ahead into the mess that was her relationship with Ryan Clarke.

It hurt.

It hurt so much more than any pain she ever felt before. As a werewolf, she had broken every bone in her body numerous times, but that pain came nowhere close to what Clarke had done to her.

He used her. He manipulated her. He only wanted to hurt her. To destroy her.

She wanted to go back to the mansion and curl up in bed, wallow in her misery, but Aunt Freya wouldn't let her wallow anymore.

There was still a Malivore portal that needed to be closed. She and Aunt Freya were going over their options, and may go home to New Orleans.

Which meant if she wanted to talk to Landon before she left, she needed to do it soon.

She was going to try to find him before heading for 'portal duty.'

Luck…or not so much luck… was on her side, because Landon finally decided to seek her out on his own that day.

"Hope."

"Finally ready to talk?" she asked, staying a few feet away from Landon, struggling not to wrap her arms around herself. She was feeling very vulnerable lately and she hated it.

"Not really." Landon was upset; she could tell by the way his voice had a biting edge to it. She was hoping that would ease before they talked again, but apparently not. "I was so angry, I forgot about Clarke until Raf mentioned him."

Oh. Wincing internally, she remembered Clarke interrupting her and Rafael. Clarke had staked his claim on her in front of Raf, held her hand like they were a couple. She didn't know what that had to do with his stupid little game, but now it was coming back to bite her in the ass because she wasn't going to be able to ease Landon into the truth.

This was going to suck.

"Mind explaining why he was holding your hand?" The pitch of his voice was going higher, the incredulity mixing with his ire. "Why Raf thought the two of you were together?"

"Landon," she worked to speak around the lump in her throat. "You were happy and I didn't want to take that away from you."

"I didn't ask you why you didn't tell me who we were to each other; I asked you why you and Clarke were holding hands!"

"I was alone!" she blurted defensively. "I came back and no one remembered me, and you had moved on, and I lost everything and everyone!"

"You could have told someone!"

"Do I really have to say it again? You were happy!" she exclaimed. "Everyone was better off without me. Moving on without me. Living their lives without me!"

"So, what, you thought I was happy with Josie so you decided to be happy with Clarke?!"

"You were—oh, I'm sorry, not were—you are happy with Josie last time I checked. I don't have to think it, I know. I saw it with my own two eyes!"

"Are you or are you not with Clarke?!"

"I'm not," she drew in a shaky breath as the familiar pain shot through her chest. "But," she winced, "I was."

"That's all I needed to know." He turned away in a burst of anger, the betrayal clear on his face.

"Landon!" She didn't want him to hurt the way she was; she didn't want him to storm off without at least apologizing to him either.

He turned back abruptly, "Did you even mean anything you said before you jumped in the pit, or was that a lie too?"

Meaning, when she told him she loved him. She gulped.

"Yes, I meant it," she insisted. "I wouldn't lie about that."

"How would I know?!" he exclaimed. "All you've done is lie to me. About my mother. About yourself. Why wouldn't you lie about that too?"

"It wasn't a lie. I loved you. I'm used to losing the people I love. They mean so much to me it's just not something I'm capable of lying about." Her thoughts immediately went to Clarke. To losing him too. Except that was different. He chose to betray her. She had to end things because nothing they had was real. It couldn't have been love.

"So you 'loved' me, but still didn't tell me who you were, you still let me go on being with Josie, and you were with Clarke?"

She didn't miss the emphasis he put on the word 'loved'. She said it in past tense. She still wasn't sure if she had done that on purpose or not.

"Yes."

"Then no, you didn't lie. It's even worse. You gave up on me. You gave up on us." He sort of deflated after that. The anger just seemed to disappear and was replaced with great sadness.

She couldn't deny it. She had given up on ever being with Landon again.

"I didn't think it was possible to return the memories." It wasn't much of an excuse, but it was one of the biggest reasons.

"And now that they've returned?" he asked.

It wasn't a stretch to figure out what he was asking.

Did she want things to go back to the way they were? Did she want to be with Landon again? Did she want him to break up with Josie for her? He wasn't offering to do it; he was asking what she wanted.

Deep down, she already knew the answer. She couldn't get back with him because she wasn't over Clarke yet. And she didn't love Landon the way she had. She wasn't sure she ever would be able to again.

Instead of forcing herself to tell him that, she said the only other thing that would ensure Landon would know they were done for good.

That there was no hope for a future for them.

"I slept with Clarke."

He shook his head as he stumbled backwards.

The mixture of heartbreak and bitterness on his face made her feel horrible.

"I think we're done here," he managed to say before he left.

With every step, his shoulders drooped further and further.

She felt like she broke him. It was obvious from the way pain radiated from his dejected soul that he still loved her, even knowing what she did, but he knew there was no going back for her.

Getting out of Mystic Falls just became more important than solving the Malivore portal problem for her. Maybe she could talk Aunt Freya into leaving tomorrow.

As she walked through the town square, her eyes zeroed in on a familiar figure standing at the edge of the Malivore portal.

It was Clarke.

And it looked like he was about to jump in.

"What are you doing?!"

Finished.