CHAPTER SEVEN
"So, after she told you she loves you, what did you do?"
"Hm." The famous Uchiha answer.
Sasuke sipped his mimosa as the sun shone brightly above him and his male friends. He had decided to join the guys' hang-out session at the beach as the girls went out to the spa. The boys had played a competitive match of volleyball like most boys do as if being competitive could make anything better, but apparently, it did increase the fun, until Sasuke told Naruto to sit with him because he needed to talk to the dobe about Hinata. Naruto gladly gave an ear, and yet his response was far from what Sasuke had imagined.
He told the dobe everything from the start of his conversation with the heiress, their intimate relationship and the reason behind it, and finally, Hinata's confession. Sasuke had anticipated that it would mount up to Hinata actually falling for him. A huge part of him wanted her to. Yet amidst all ambition, he felt guilty. Naruto turned to face the guy as they both sat on their beachside lounge, placing his mimosa on the table in front of them. He realized that Sasuke wasn't interested in answering his previous question yet, so the Uzumaki decided to continue speaking.
"Okay, so, Hinata filled me in with the main points of how you two got closer. She never told me about your sexy times at all, so I'm still trying to process all this." Sasuke's eyes lingered on Naruto for a bit, his mind recalling Hinata's initial reason why she wanted to be sexually intimate with Sasuke. He was glad that it turned out to be a fake reason, otherwise, the situation would be too awkward. Sasuke decided he'd leave that part out, though.
Sasuke took a sip of his drink, his eyes wandering to the sea in front of him, as if saving grace was and always had been located somewhere too far for his own reach. If Hinata needed to process her feelings, then it was needed for Sasuke, too. Even an Uchiha needed to understand the emotional hurricane within himself. However, his attention was interrupted by Naruto.
"Before I get into pep-talking, I just want to know for the sake of all this. How do you feel about Hinata-chan?"
What kind of question was that? Sasuke asked the dobe what to do, not what to admit. "I don't know how this is relevant to my situation." He responded, trying to avoid answering that damned question.
"It's very relevant. You'll probably know what to do after this clarity."
"Hn."
"So? Are you in love with her too?"
The Uchiha felt like that question required more than a simple answer. He was usually a man ready for anything, but last night was evidence that tough-looking men fall, too. He downed his mimosa, feeling the alcohol kicking his brain a little faster than it should. He would also lift his wrist up slightly to check his watch; it was 5:30 PM. Sunset was around the corner. When he took his eyes off his watch, he decided to answer the dobe's question. Maybe it would make some more sense.
"I don't know how to answer that. I do feel kind of lonely. Lately."
"Because?" Naruto continued to ask, his eyes traveling elsewhere to avoid confrontation for the Uchiha.
"Because I'm not with her as much as I was."
"Did you enjoy spending time with her?"
"Mhm."
"And how long is 'lately'?"
"6 months."
Naruto chuckled a little. "So, you miss her?" He asked as if it was obvious. To Naruto's surprise, Sasuke nodded in response. He could punch the dobe for laughing because it made the Uchiha feel dumb. But not now. He'd probably punch Naruto some other time. Since he admitted missing the Hyūga heiress, what else was in store?
"Why do you stay away from her, Sasuke?"
A sigh escaped the Uchiha. "I learned that my parents are strongly against me being romantically involved with a Hyūga. With any Hyūga female. I don't exactly know the truth about the rivalry, though. I only hear stories of how the Hyūgas are notorious for not fulfilling a promise. So I guess, from that aged tale, they're a bit sensitive about Hinata."
"If your parents showed positivity about you and Hinata, would you pursue her?"
"Definitely."
"Alright, so we got that one cleared up. I'm just curious about what could possibly go bad for you if you do pursue her now. I mean, yes, I get the whole, 'my clan is better' bullshit, but, aren't we supposed to be passed that now? Like, truly, what's so wrong about a Hyūga and an Uchiha together?"
Sasuke took some time to think before answering. That was a good question. "I'm the youngest and she's an heiress. She will lead her clan one day and I guess, her father is afraid I would take over, or she'd abandon her clan. As for mine, I think my parents just wanted an equal standing in a marriage for me. They want me to shine as an Uchiha, not overpowered by a Hyūga heiress."
"And do you agree with that?" Naruto's question got harder for the Uchiha to answer. But he was determined to find a solution, and maybe, the dobe had insights worth sharing.
"No, I don't. I guess I'm still enslaved by my parents' approval. I still want them to be proud of me in every area."
"So, do you love her?"
"We've just turned or will be turning eighteen soon. I doubt I truly know what love is. But—" Sasuke paused, grabbing his empty glass thinking there was still liquid in it, and once he realized it was empty, he sighed, placing the glass back down on the table in front of them. A habit.
"If you'd take the whole 'making my parents proud' shit away, then yes—I am in love with her. Even with that burden around, I'm in love with her." He finally admitted.
He could feel a smile forming on Naruto's face but he didn't want to look at the guy, otherwise, he'd be pissed. "Now that's clear, you're going to properly talk to her about it. Tonight."
That part wasn't a problem for Sasuke at all. He did feel very relieved after admitting something he'd been avoiding for so long. Yes, he loved her. He loved everything about her. He loved it when she cried, smiled, and laughed. He loved it when she nerded out on her favorite classic novels. He loved it whenever she knew Sasuke preferred silence. He loved how she knew when he wanted a conversation. Once the truth came out, his heart felt like it melted into something it belonged to; a deeper connection with the Hyūga.
"Okay," Sasuke said, "I appreciate this. Thank you."
Naruto grinned, "No worries. Look alive, brother. It's the first time I've seen you in love. Looks good on you."
Sunset eventually came; the most beautiful sight ever. The boys had finished up their drinks and games. Sai and Kiba had also mentioned that they should go to the beach club that was happening later that night. Most of them agreed to ask the girls to come and the evening's agenda was decided. A beach club wasn't exactly the best place for Sasuke to confess to Hinata, but he'd find a way. He was good at that.
When he walked back to his room with Naruto, he thought of how he could have done things differently when she admitted her feelings to him. Because when she told him she was in love with him, Sasuke gave her a hug. For the rest of the night, they watched a movie, waiting for Naruto and Sakura to come back. They didn't even sit close to each other. Sasuke sat on one end of the couch while she sat on the other. They exchanged a few words but that was it. Sasuke was beginning to think that maybe he was an idiot. However, he pushed that thought aside.
Another point of worry was how much she depended on him. Sasuke's feelings were strong and yet he thought of how it would be best to start over as friends. He didn't want Hinata's feelings toward him to be another identity of hers, because they shouldn't. This was also partially his fault. Right after she confessed to Naruto 6 months ago, knowing it wouldn't work out, she succeeded in tearing her identity off him. She was free and her honesty was needed to bring herself clarity, even though she didn't really love Naruto. In the most vulnerable state of the Hyūga, Sasuke fatally claimed her that night, leaving Hinata confused before she could find herself. In the end, she placed her identity onto Sasuke. No wonder she broke down when he pushed her away.
Now, Sasuke was convinced that not only was he an idiot, but he was also an asshole.
As they walked down the hallway, Sasuke kept replaying a scene he planned over and over. He hoped that the talk would be raw, honest, and genuine. He hoped that she wouldn't have another breakdown, or experience more pain when he told her they should star over as friends. Maybe for the first time ever, Sasuke secretly prayed God would listen to his pleads. Once both he and Naruto reached their door, they heard Sakura calling out to them. The boys turned to see the pink-haired and Hinata.
She looked even more beautiful than he last remembered. And he had only seen her last night.
When Sakura approached her boyfriend in his hotel room, Sasuke was left with the Hyūga awkwardly standing across from each other in that same hallway. She seemed to try to look away from him while he focused on her. He noticed she was wearing a color that probably suited her more than the usual shade she would wear. Olive green never really looked great on a person with her skin type, eyes, and hair. Sasuke wondered how she could successfully pull it off despite popular opinion. However, the lavender dress she was wearing, although fitting, seemed too timid. She looked beautiful nonetheless.
"Hey," he called out.
"Hm?"
"You look good. Are you going to wear that dress for tonight?"
She saw her cheeks blush a little. "N-No, I'm wearing something else."
"The green one?"
"Y-Yes, the green one." Her tone of voice softened, indicating her usual shy tendencies. Sasuke figured it would be the case, especially after her confession the previous night.
Sasuke smirked, knowing that he's got control now. It was too amusing to see her reactions. "Because that's my favorite one."
She saw a hint of confusion in her eyes, but he knew she loved the tension. She smiled at him, "R-Right."
"Make time for me tonight. Let's talk."
Hinata nodded at him, knowing full well what he was referring to. A million questions might surge through her head that very moment but Sasuke was firm about the things they needed to talk about. Things he had to address about her and about himself. To close off their conversation, he leaned in close to her to give her cheek a peck.
"See you at dinner."
With that, he turned to enter his room. He saw Naruto and Sakura having a conversation out on the balcony, and it seemed like they were enjoying themselves. Sasuke decided to get ready first by taking the usual cold shower he would definitely regret as he went through the scenes in his head. He was sure the talk with Hinata would turn out great because maybe, just maybe, God heard him.
The beach club started out as a restaurant. The Konoha High graduates were informed that the party starts at 11:00 PM onwards. That perfect situation excited the bunch; what was a vacation for without a little freedom party?
Everyone chose to dress their best. Casual with a hint of effort. Sasuke was the best at those; he wore a black buttoned-down shirt with light grey shorts. He wasn't one to wear sandals everywhere, so he chose his vans. The combination of monochromatic shades suited him very well. As always, Sasuke looked handsome. He checked his phone to see if Hinata might send any message, but of course, she didn't. For 6 months, he saw her trying and he kept neglecting her. The guilt he felt rose to a level that was way out of reach for the Uchiha. He realized that he might have hurt her. He also realized that Hana had sent him a message exactly 5 minutes ago.
That was another thing. His involvement with his classmate wasn't really planned. But he had taken his father's advice to go see other people besides Hinata. In his defense, how would he really know if he was in love with the Hyūga if he didn't try to get to know another girl? He probably inflicted pain on Hinata by doing so. Sasuke began to wonder how high of a level was he in the idiot and asshole category. He knew he wanted the Hyūga girl, used her for his own desires, dumped her, and looked for another girl. He knew full well that this was the result of his own insecurity; he didn't want to disappoint his parents. To what degree would you go so far as to gain the approval of man? To what extent would you abandon your own heart's desires, to forgo an expectation that could somehow lead to hurting another?
No. If Sasuke really placed his parents' expectations above anything else, then he shouldn't have laid eyes on Hinata in the first place. Because he knew what would happen. That was why he was an asshole. And an idiot.
A pat on the shoulder was felt when Naruto walked into Sasuke's bedroom. "You ready?"
"For what?" Sasuke turned, still checking his phone. He was reading Hana's text.
"Your talk with Hinata."
"Mhm." Sasuke said, responding to Hana's text message. It appeared to have been an invitation to 'get out of the crowd' from the girl. Sasuke knew where this was heading but he decided not to aid the girl. She wasn't really… quiet, for his standards.
Apparently, Naruto had peered in to look at who Sasuke was so focused on. "Dude. How many girls are after you?"
When Sasuke pressed 'send', he looked up to focus on the dobe. "Too many to count."
"But you're dropping this girl though, right?"
"Of course. Let's go, I'm hungry."
After arriving, they all booked tables to sit close to each other as best as they could. They were a large group of eighteen-year-olds; loud, funny, and just a bunch of kids having a great time before going to university. Sasuke chose to sit across from the Hyūga girl so he could observe her. It was his habit by now. He loved to just observe how she was doing, her reactions, and whatnot. When he examined the room, he saw Neji sitting with his girlfriend a few distances away. Sasuke was aware now that even though that Hyūga male wasn't looking, he was attentive.
The Uchiha decided to test his current situation. As Hinata courageously stripped off her false identity a few months back, Sasuke decided that he would do the same. It was time to try to not burden himself with family expectations. Hopefully, he could do this, starting with his conversation with the girl. As the night went on, they had really good meals. Sasuke enjoyed the tomato soup that the restaurant had to offer. He also had ordered a bottle of wine for him, Naruto, Sakura, and Hinata. He would pour some into their glasses, and they would toast for friendship. Sasuke wasn't one to be cheesy like that. It was obvious that Sakura and Naruto initiated the friendship toast. However, he didn't mind. The dobe was his best friend and most likely would be for a long time.
The group exchanged a few words, about how high school was meaningful as well as it was interesting. They addressed a lot of things that were embarrassing. It had stirred laughter, sometimes tears. The closer Sasuke paid attention, the more he noticed that a big group of people in their year were going overseas for university, while the rest decided to stay in Konoha. All in all, Sasuke could see why vacations like these were necessary. He wasn't close to all of them, but he could see that high school was indeed memorable for them and for him. He began to wonder what university would look like. Itachi had always said the challenges were worthwhile, and the university was the only institution Itachi found to be useful. Sasuke then began to wonder where Hinata would go. She never really mentioned if she would stay in Konoha. More questions began to rise in his mind.
As the night went on, the restaurant transitioned into a beach club. The music was quite good according to Sasuke's taste. Sometimes they would switch between genres, and that change was very smooth, he'd hardly tell. The ambiance wasn't really like how a city nightclub would look like. The air of the sea added a more tropical feel to the already city-like nation. As the music went on, Sasuke walked over to the bar to order a drink when he saw Hinata talking with Sakura. He decided then that he shouldn't drink before his closure with the girl. And so the plan to drink was quickly abandoned by the Uchiha the closer he approached the girl. Once Sasuke stood next to Hinata, Sakura caught the Uchiha's gaze. He signaled Sakura to give them space, and having been briefed by Naruto about the talk Sasuke planned, Sakura immediately, very smoothly told Hinata that she wanted to look for her idiot boyfriend.
Hinata watched Sakura leave before turning to Sasuke. Indeed, she kept her promise. She wore a satin olive green dress, accentuating her features more than her usual clothing. She had tied her hair into a high ponytail, her bangs resting against her forehead as per usual. She had also put on a little bit of makeup, freshening her eyes. To sum up, she was stunning.
"Hi Sasuke," she said, sipping her cosmopolitan.
"Let's walk over by the beach and talk. The music's a little too loud here."
Sasuke placed some cash on the bar counter to pay for her drink before he led them somewhere quiet. Hinata had placed her drink back on the bar before walking towards the beach with Sasuke, closer to the waves. He could see the reflection of the moon on the dark waters in front of them. The air was modest, the breeze was pure, and that was the perfect moment to reveal his truth.
"I want to address last night." Sasuke started. He saw Hinata fixing her gaze on the reflection of the moon as if she was avoiding his gaze. Maybe she was.
"Okay. I'm sorry I ruined your night." She said.
"No, you didn't ruin it."
"I see."
Sasuke felt like sighing out of frustration but noticed it wouldn't help the situation. Their tension was too evident, and Sasuke realized that Hinata was merely mirroring the atmosphere he had put out. So, technically, her distance was understandable. For all he knew, she was the one who tried to reach out to him, and he was the one who tried to push her away.
"Remember when I first walked you home?"
Hinata turned her gaze to look at him. In the dim space around them, thanks to the lights from the club, her expression was evident. An expression of longing and sadness. Hinata nodded in a response to his question.
Sasuke might have smiled a little. "And, remember when I told you I liked you, right after you said you liked Naruto?"
"Yes, I remember." She said, her mood changing a little bit due to Sasuke's smile.
"I told you that I was uninterested in dating someone who's in love with someone else. And you felt relieved. That was over 6 months ago."
"Time flies." She said, hinting that she didn't know where he was going with the reminiscing. Sasuke nodded, trying his best to make the most of their time by stalling. Being honest about his feelings was a little harder than he thought, so he kept changing subjects.
"I'll be going to Konoha University."
"M-Me too," Hinata said, somewhat happier, "I thought you were going overseas."
"Nope. My family recommended for me to stay and I think they're right. So I guess we'll still be seeing each other around for 4 more years." Sasuke said it in a light way, not wanting to say things he would regret after. He decided that being careful with his own words could avoid more pain and suffering. He had learned that the hard way.
"S-Sasuke, I want to apologize," Hinata began abruptly, right when Sasuke was ready to express his feelings. Because of that interruption, he decided she could go first. He gave her a nod, a supportive urge to help her continue. "I know I placed my identity on loving Naruto for too long, and I slowly found myself doing the same to you. I r-realized that—" and that was when she began sobbing. It looked like the realization was too much for her to handle. But still, she fought hard to explain.
"A-And I don't know why I'm like this. I'm still trying to fix myself. And I want to fix myself. But, I realized that I ended up putting all my security on you. That, Sasuke, you didn't deserve. You are not responsible for my happiness." She said, trying her best to wipe her tears away without damaging her makeup. Sasuke felt his heart soften, and he saw a strength within her he admired very much. The vulnerability this girl had was something he could learn from.
"But if I'm allowed to accept my feelings, I will not take back what I said last night. I am in love with you, Sasuke. You've become so important to me." She finally finished, her eyes forced by her courage to stay fixed on his.
Sasuke nodded, "I understand, and I forgive you."
Hinata sighed in relief, more tears streaming down her face for the freedom she felt in her.
"I have a problem, Hinata," the Uchiha began, his hand searching for hers. "I have a tendency to act like I've got it all together when I don't. I take flight when things become difficult internally. I can take a punch, but when it comes to my own emotions, it's too bothersome. And I have neglected you when I clearly lead you on."
His hand traveled up to her arm, caressing her softly. "I have been in love with you since God knows when. I watched you for so long. It took me 3 years to finally make an effort to be your friend only for me to push you away."
Hinata's eyes widened, obviously surprised by this information. She remained quiet, almost as if she knew the reason behind him staying away. Something she could very much understand. Sasuke tightened his grip around the girl's arm, pulling her closer to him. His other arm decided to wrap itself around her as he rested his chin on the top of her head.
"If things were easier, I'd make you my girlfriend."
Sasuke felt Hinata resting her head against his chest with her arms enclosed around him. They stood there, holding each other, away from the noise. Just like sad people dancing. The Uchiha finally let out a sad sigh, "I'm so sorry for hurting you."
"I-It's okay, Sasuke." Hinata choked out, still crying. After holding each other for a while, Hinata was the first to pull away. Upon realizing this, Sasuke loosened his grip around her until she was completely detached from him.
"Let's just put this all behind us. Let's just… be friends, and see where that goes." She said.
Sasuke tilted his head slightly, surprised that this came out of her instead of him. He had planned to mention this to her, to start over healthy. He was a little worried that she would retaliate when he mentioned it, but somehow, it all aligned by itself. He was curious how that came about, which made him ask, "Why?"
Still trying to carefully wipe her tears, Hinata sniffed, then spoke, "Our families are clear about you and me. That's a first. Second, I need to find security within myself, without you. W-Who knows, through time, you'll change your mind about me, or—"
"You'll change your mind about me." Sasuke finished her sentence, not liking the sound of that at all. However, he couldn't argue about her first two reasons. It was true. They started off unhealthy, and a relationship with that kind of start cannot thrive. But he was hopeful that she'd stay because he was planning on staying. He was adamant about claiming her one day. Did she not think the same way?
"Who knows, Sasuke." She said, shrugging.
"I see where you're coming from. Alright, then. Deal. How do you suppose we establish the boundaries?"
"We don't see each other alone," she paused, "not until we're both sure we won't be tempted to do… you know, what we used to."
A frown came upon the Uchiha. "I don't know if I like that."
Hinata's blush returned to her cheeks. "W-What do you mean you don't like it? We're creating boundaries."
"Yes, but, I'd like to get to know you better, too. And maybe, hold you."
"Fine. We can hang out just the two of us… in public."
"Okay, I can work with that." The Uchiha finally agreed.
"That's settled. No kissing is our second rule."
"What the heck—" When the Uchiha began protesting, the Hyūga lifted an index finger to quiet the man.
"You said you want to hold me. I gave you that permission but that's about it." She dropped her hand back down slowly, her fingers now fidgeting with her green satin fabric. "I-If you kiss me then I won't be able to control myself."
Saying that didn't help the Uchiha at all. If any, he was even more challenged to claim her right away. He had to learn self-control, too. "Anything else from your end?" He asked, just to make sure he won't have to protest any longer. It seemed like she was eager to make these boundaries because she didn't want to go through the pain of him pushing her away. Not that he was planning on doing that again, but he could understand her.
"No, that's all from me. And, you?"
The Hyūga only had two rules. Maybe he should do the same, just to be fair. "First, I get to call you whenever I want. And you're going to answer the phone."
Hinata frowned, "How come I've established what you can't do, and now you're telling me what to do?"
"Just hear me out, okay? That's first. The reason behind that one is, I can't hang out with you alone in our apartment, right? So, I don't want to always go to a coffee shop because it's boring. So yes, please answer my phone calls."
Hinata had to roll her eyes, a slight grin followed after, "Okay. Fair. And?"
"And second, you're eating lunch with me. Monday to Friday. Excluding summer and winter breaks."
"You sure you're gonna stick to that one? Your lunch track records aren't that good." Hinata argued.
"Shhh, yes I will. Unless, you know, family stuff comes up."
A giggle escaped the Hyūga and it was such a refreshing sight for Sasuke. The restart was a good one. Somehow, being honest was the best for the two. He couldn't think of any way they could have overcome this. The best part of it was how she kept no records of his wrongs anymore. Her demeanor was forgiving to its fullest. The grace the girl possessed was something to be envied, and he's got some time to learn it.
"Maybe we should head back or something," Sasuke said, remembering how Neji was all eyes even when he seemed to not be looking.
"Yeah, maybe," Hinata responded, turning to look at their friends getting crazier the more they downed their alcohol. Another giggle left her when she saw Kiba, Naruto, and Choji doing a dance-off with the rest of their friends encircling them. Sasuke couldn't decide if Sakura was ashamed of her boyfriend's actions or if she was simply too drunk. Probably both.
When he turned to look at Hinata, he could feel his emotions relating to affection growing within him. Sasuke was one to realize that both he nor Hinata did not truly understand what it meant to love someone. What does it mean to love? It was too big of a word to directly declare he loved her. But was he in love? He was. He couldn't find a better phrase to describe his feelings. Being in love meant he was beginning at the very first courts of selfless compassion. And if time would allow it, he would come to learn what it means to put someone else first before himself.
"Hey, Hime," he said, the first time he ever nicknamed her. He figured it suited her, with Hinata being an heiress and all that.
Hinata scoffed jokingly at the title, followed by a grin, "Yeah?"
"There's no one quite like you. I hope we don't change our minds as time passes by. And I hope time teaches me to cherish you more." His statement caused Hinata's expression to change; it was a mixture of both sadness and relief at the same time.
Finally, they both walked back to the beach club. Sasuke tried his best not to grab her hand the way he used to and he couldn't help but think if she struggled with the same thing. As maturity grew within their hearts, Sasuke could see how Hinata was able to act as if nothing happened between them. Their conversations with the rest grew into a more natural-like state, indicating that she really took their boundaries seriously. And what Sasuke saw was also her eagerness to get to know the Uchiha.
Popular opinion, a phrase Sasuke liked to use to state the obvious, would belittle their choice of relationship establishment. Popular opinion would encourage the two to continue on the path of toxicity, with an end result that may look even worse than the pain they have dealt. Popular opinion wouldn't know what to do in the first place and therefore suggest cutting all ties for good. The Uchiha learned something about wisdom that night… something he might want to ponder over for the next few years. As for now, he had the chance to know the Hinata when they were alone together, and the Hinata with friends. And she was pleasant in both situations. Truly a remarkable woman she was.
As Sasuke sat back to enjoy the view of a Hyūga immersed in joy and laughter, he let out a sigh of relief. She would join a crowd of dancing people when Sakura pulled her in. Her shyness got in the way at first, and yet, with a glance toward the Uchiha for reassurance, and with a nod from the Uchiha as support, she took another leap of faith to overcome insecurities.
This looked like the end of something old,
Where time won't tell when a beginning will arise.
Sasuke might have to be patient to see what's been foretold,
Before he could finally claim his treasure, his prize.
This marks the end of what looks like Season 01. Thank you for sticking with me through these 7 chapters of a roller coaster, hot stuff, and a whirlwind of love. I'm constructing what looks like to be Season 02. This chapter took longer than expected because it was officially the hardest chapter to write. I hope that it still sparks joy when you read it.
Much love,
galore.