CHAPTER 124
(GIDEON)
The door opens and I look up, I gasp as I lay eyes on my son for the first time. I know that he is thirteen years old but he is tall for his age. I stand up and walk slowly towards him. As I look at him I realise he mostly favours Corrine in looks but his eyes… his eyes are all mine.
He stands in silence just staring at me, he is taking in my features. "I have your eyes" he says after a moment. "It's weird seeing someone that I look like" he adds. He flushes slightly, "Sorry, I didn't mean to stare" he mutters.
I smile at him, "Don't apologise, you have nothing to be sorry for". I turn and gesture to the seats, "Let's sit down" I say.
"Yeah, sorry" he mutters nervously. He glances towards the door and I can tell he is genuinely scared. What is he afraid of? I frown at his obvious fear, and wonder if it is me.
"I won't hurt you Jared, are you uncomfortable being alone with me - do you want your uncle to join us?" I ask wondering why he is so afraid.
"No!" he snaps sharply, then he takes a deep breath, "No, I don't want him in here" he adds in a more measured tone.
"Alright" I say and alarm bells are immediately ringing at his reaction to the mention of his uncle. I try to not jump to conclusions based on his reaction but I feel my protective instincts kicking in, I try and rein in my need to demand answers as to why he appears so afraid of his uncle, and I take a degree of comfort in the fact that at least it appears it's not me he is terrified of.
"Let's sit down and we can talk" I say instead.
We sit down just looking at each other but neither of us seems to know what to say.
"I'm really scared" Jared says eventually and I smile.
"Well, that makes two of us, because so am I" I reply. This seems to break the ice and I see him smile and relax slightly.
"Really? You're scared too?" he asks incredulously, he flushes again as he realises what he has said, "I mean you're… you. Why? I mean… What?" he adds and then stops.
I smile at him and take a deep breath, "Listen Jared, I may be an instantly recognisable global businessman, but the man underneath that façade is absolutely terrified at this moment. I have no idea what to do or say, and I don't want to do or say the wrong thing".
This seems to give him a degree of confidence, "Why… why don't you just tell me a bit about yourself – not the businessman who I've seen on the tv, but you - the terrified man underneath, the man who it seems is my biological dad? That would seem like a good place to start" he says.
I nod in agreement, and I am taken aback a bit by his obvious maturity. "Alright, I can do that and I think the best place for me to start is to tell you the story of your origins from my perspective and then you tell me yours? Before I begin though, tell me what do you already know about me?"
Jared shuffles in his seat and he looks embarrassed, "Not much really, I know you are from New York and you are the owner of Cross Industries and that you… well your company have developed the best gaming console, period… but that's all really".
I am actually surprised by that as I assumed he would know more, "Well, that is quite refreshing, to meet someone who doesn't know every last thing about me" I say somewhat wryly.
Jared nods, and then shrugs, "I know all about the GenTen as I like gaming and I have one. I thought about Googling you, when Miranda called and told me your name and who you were… but I thought I'd sooner hear it from you instead, as it doesn't make me seem like a stalker that way".
"Very commendable, and I assure you I intend to be totally honest and open with you" I say.
"That sounds good" Jared says and waits looking intently at me.
I lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees, clasping my hands together I start to speak.
"Ok, so to begin with the first I knew about you was exactly four days ago when I received an email from Miranda. I was shocked to say the very least. I had no idea about your existence and I want to assure you that… that in context with the man I was at the time you were born is probably a good thing, which I will explain. I was with your mother; we were together after meeting at Columbia and after we graduated, she asked me to marry her. I agreed but realised pretty much straight away that would be a huge mistake. I had no idea how to let her down without hurting her so I did a bad thing, I just ignored her. I pulled away from her and put distance between us. I was starting my company and I just focussed all my time and attention on that. As a result of me doing that we inevitably drifted apart and then finally she called me breaking off the engagement and telling me she had met someone else but I want to make it totally clear to you that she never told me about you".
Jared listens carefully and then asks his first question and unsurprisingly it is one which will open up a whole new can of worms, one which I was expecting to talk about but not quite so soon. "Why was it a mistake for you to marry her when you had already said yes?" he asks.
I swallow hard, how do you tell a child because that is what he is something like this? I hesitate, do I fudge it? Do I just tell him? Will I fucking traumatise him if I do tell him? Shit, I have no idea what to do. I look at him and see that I am losing him, there is a look of disgust appearing in his eyes, he thinks I just tired of Corrine and wanted to move on. I take another deep breath, fuck it band aid time I'll just tell him as it was and deal with the consequences afterwards.
"Because I had issues, I still do to a degree. I… when I was a boy – around your age actually, I was… I was… I was sexually assaulted by a paedophile… I was raped by someone". I pause as Jared lets out a gasp, I wait to see if he says anything but he remains silent so I continue. "That left me with major issues… I had nightmares, really really bad nightmares which made me a danger to the people around me at night. So, I arranged my life that I always slept alone, I never spent the entire night with anyone, nobody knew about these nightmares not even your mother and we were supposed to be a couple. So, had I known about you I would certainly have stepped up and I would've taken full responsibility and as you can imagine, in doing so I probably would've ended up screwing you and Corrine up in the process. Trust me when I say that you both dodged a bullet with how things turned out back then".
"Did you ever tell her… about the fact you'd been abused?" Jared asks.
I shake my head, "No, I told nobody because I just didn't think that they would believe me. At the time it happened I spoke out but wasn't believed. As a result, I was alienated from my family and I spent many years totally alone, dealing with it in my own way which resulted in me not dealing with it at all which caused the nightmares I had where I relived the abuse over and over. It was like a vicious cycle in the end, I didn't tell her because I didn't think she would believe me, and carried on not really dealing with my past which made the nightmares continue which then kept me alone".
Jared stares at me wide eyed, I begin to wonder if I have done the right thing being so brutally honest with him after all he is just a child. As I open my mouth to apologise, I swallow what I was going to say as to my great surprise he shuffles closer and places his hand on my arm.
"Did… did you ever tell anyone? Has anyone ever believed you?" he whispers, his obvious concern for me is touching. He points vaguely towards the door, "That guy who brought me in here… Christian, he introduced everyone and he introduced this woman who is out there as your wife… so did you get some help in the end? He asks.
I smile at him, "Yes, my wife Eva. She believed me, and Christian and Ana believed me and they have helped me to start to come to terms and deal with that part of my life, and it is something that has happened only quite recently. That is the main reason they are all here with me today as they are my family and I needed my family with me when I met you for moral support. But I will say that I assure you I am a totally different man now, to the man I was when I was with your mother".
Jared swallows hard and nods, "Thank you for telling me that, I mean you didn't have to and I'm guessing it would be a lot easier for you… for you to have not told me. I just want you to know… well… I believe you too" he says and I take in a sharp breath at that.
"Thank you" I say simply.
"So, this guy she went off with, did she marry him?" Jared asks.
I nod, "She did, his name was Jean Francois Giroux – a Frenchman, and she went to live in Europe with him".
"Is she still there?" he asks.
I shake my head, "No, to be fair I'm not sure where she is and to be honest I prefer it that way. Her marriage broke down a few years ago and she returned to the States, but whereabouts she is I honestly don't know. I could find out and if you really wanted to know I will arrange for that to happen for you" I say. "I will say, her ex-husband is in the States at the moment. I informed him about you as a matter of courtesy after I received Miranda's email as at that point I didn't know if I was your father or not and when I spoke to him he surprised me when he told me that he knew all about you, and had even met you after you were born. Your mother had told him lies though, he said that he had always been under the impression that I knew all about you and that I just didn't care and didn't want to take responsibility for you, which was completely wrong. He said that was the reason why your mother put you up for adoption after you were born. She then moved on with him, left the States and went to France and married him".
Jared frowns, "But if he was the guy who took her on, why wouldn't he take on her son as well? I mean, if he loved her surely he shouldn't have made her give me up?"
I give him a sympathetic look, "I'm afraid I cannot answer the reasons why what happened, happened, because I just don't know for certain. Trust me when I say we have been debating this very subject extensively for the past few days trying to work out what actually happened and a number of theories have been muted none of which put Corrine in a good light, considering her previous behaviour pattern and I do not want to be responsible for poisoning your mind with my own prejudice of Corrine. The only person who would be able to tell you the truth of the matter would be Corrine herself, however considering that it appears she told Jean Francois a pack of lies and she so easily gave you up and moved on I sincerely doubt you would get them".
"You say he – the French guy is here in the States now?" Jared asks.
I nod, "When I told him what actually happened at the time of your birth and he realised he had been lied to he agreed to fly to the States to provide a DNA sample as well, which told me he was also intimate with Corrine. However, that is irelevent now as I am your father".
"Do you think he will speak to me?" Jared asks.
I shrug, "He may do, now it is clear he is nothing to do with you, I expect him to go back to France but I can call him and ask him if he will speak to you if you want me to?" I say.
"I think I'd like that, even if he was told lies, I'd like to hear what he knows" Jared says.
I smile at him, "I can understand that" I say.
I watch as Jared thinks over everything and lets out a long breath, "Ok, so thank you for what you have told me, you might not think it but that answers loads for me really – so thank you for that. I'll tell you the story how I see it now… My mom and dad they knew Corrine, well more accurately they knew Caroline and Nick, Corrine's parents. My mom and dad told me that they had been trying for a baby for a number of years, but nothing happened. So, Corrine's parents knew this and approached them with the offer to adopt me. That's how I knew my mother's name and where I was born. The deal was I could be told on the condition I never tried to contact her. When my mom and dad died, and it focussed my mind on where I came from… I knew I couldn't contact her but I figured I had to have a dad somewhere out there, so perhaps if I tracked down that side I could find out… stuff".
"Did you know Caroline and Nick personally?" I ask as I'm surprised Jared has mentioned them by name.
He nods, "The adoption was all done privately. It was done through lawyers with contracts and paperwork so that it was all legal but they came to visit me a few times when I was little. I always knew I was adopted and it was a kind of open adoption with them until Nick passed. After he died the visits from Caroline decreased dramatically until they stopped altogether. But Corrine never visited me and I wasn't allowed to speak of her to Caroline and Nick".
"You weren't allowed to speak of her?" I ask incredulously.
Jared shakes his head, "No, I was told it was part of the deal" he says with a shrug.
This answers so much for me as well, Corrine essentially just washed her hands of him. Anger towards her increases at this revelation, but I try and school my face to remain neutral.
"What do you hope to gain from meeting me?" I ask warily.
Jared smiles nervously, "Well, I just wanted to know where I came from… I knew stuff but it seems like I was only told what people wanted me to know and I didn't know the whole truth. What I did know just left me with loads of questions as I grew up and when my mom and dad died, I knew that the only way I could now get them answered was to track down my birth family. My mom and dad dying… it also focussed my mind on where I originally came from… because… because I kind of felt alone and I just wanted to belong somewhere". He pauses a moment before he looks earnestly at me, "But I don't expect anything from you, I don't want anything. I don't want to disrupt anyone's lives and I don't want to cause any trouble… But…" he stops and puts his head down.
"Go on" I urge.
"I'm scared" he whispers.
I lean forward, "Why?" I ask.
He glances towards the door, "My uncle, I'm scared that finding you will cause loads of trouble because he will cause it… he is a bad man" he whispers so quietly I barely hear it, but I do and as I do the words send a shiver down my spine.
"Jared look at me" I say more sharply than I intended. I close my eyes and take a deep breath to steady my now roiling emotions. "Answer this truthfully, has your uncle ever hurt you?" I ask and I wait hoping to god he says no.
Jared shuffles again, and glances at the door again. He thinks carefully and then sighs, "He hates me, and I hate him… he isn't a good man. But when my parents died, he was the only one who lived close enough not to disrupt me completely so the authorities approached him to take me in. I wanted to live with my Uncle Pete but they didn't listen to me. Uncle Phil didn't really want to take me, but agreed and he put on a good show for the authorities so he looked like a good person but I knew he was planning something and as soon as I mentioned searching for my birth family he was all over it. He knew Corrine was my mom and he did actually mention you a couple of times and make comments that I could belong to you so I guess he was thinking he would be able to offload me at some point and probably gain in some way, he talked about the possibilities if you were my dad... it almost put me off searching as I didn't want him to cause anyone any trouble. When Miranda told us you were my dad you could almost see the dollar signs in his eyes… when he realised there could probably be some money in it for him. The first thing he said was so I was right my nephew is a billionaire's bastard! He wants to try and get some money out of you and he has said that he plans to go to the media to try and get some money. He owns his own business but I know he is in financial difficulty, dad bailed him out a few times over the years".
I am livid by what I have just heard but I realise he hasn't answered my question, "Jared, you didn't answer my question, has he hurt you?" I ask again.
He shuffles again and looks down at his fingers.
"Jared" I ask gently, and he looks up at me with tears in his eyes.
"He said he'd kill me if I ever told anyone what I had seen" he whispers.
The levels of protective fury the like of which I have never felt before for anyone other than Eva surges through me and I fight to control it. I move closer to my son and reach out for him.
"Tell me, tell me everything and I promise you, you will never have to go back to that man's home".
"It's not as bad as what happened to you… but he…" he says immediately but then stops.
"What did he do to you Jared?" I ask.
"He's hit me a few times, he drinks… he drinks a lot, and he's done things… illegal things".
"What illegal things?" I ask gently.
Jared glances at the door again, "I don't know exactly but this guy came to the house and he was talking with him and my aunt… so I guess she was in on whatever they were doing. I saw packages and then money changed hands. I was watching and the guy saw me, he freaked out and started yelling. My uncle told him to calm down and that I wouldn't say anything and that I didn't know anything".
I tried to get away but my uncle got up and came to me, he grabbed me and pinned me to the wall by my throat, then I saw that he had a gun in his hand… I hadn't noticed it before but he had this gun and he pointed it at my head just here" He points between his eyes. "He said if I ever repeated what I had seen he would kill me".
I want to go out there and I want to fucking kill that bastard right now. But this requires tact and finesse as I also have Jared's safety to consider. I think for a moment and then I send a swift text to Angus.
The uncle is abusive, alert the authorities and make it clear Jared does not go home with him today
"What did you just do?" Jared asks nervously.
"I've put in motion your escape" I say simply.
I quickly get a reply from Angus.
On it, what kind of abuse are we talking?
My response is immediate, Physical towards Jared – and he threatened my son with a gun when he witnessed his aunt and uncle partaking in some kind of illegal activity.
I send a similar text to Christian as I want to know what is happening outside.
Jared has told me that his uncle is abusive – Angus is alerting the authorities as we speak. What is happening out there?
My phone pings again this time from Christian.
He is a fucking asshole. He is desperate to get into that room – clearly knew Jared would tell you. Eva has ripped him a new one. How abusive are we talking?
I hesitate a moment as I don't want to cause Christian to go off the deep end out there.
He's a real treasure, he threatened Jared by pointing a gun at his head, when Jared witnessed him doing something he believes was illegal. He has also been physically abusive to Jared – he hits him. Can you discreetly get Caroline to come in here.
His response is immediate.
Fucking hell! You say Angus is sorting it do you need me to do anything? – That boy does not leave here with his uncle, I'll send in Caroline right now.
I smile as I read that. I think for a moment and send a text to Miranda asking her to come in as well. A few moments later she appears with Caroline and I hear a commotion outside the door as the uncle is clearly attempting to come in.
Miranda and Caroline joins us and closes the door. "What's going on?" Miranda asks.
"Jared has just informed me that his uncle is abusive, I have alerted Angus and he is calling the authorities. I do not want that man to get anywhere near my son and he is not leaving these offices with him".
Miranda nods and smiles, "Leave it with me, we have dealt with situations like this before" she says confidently. With that she leaves the room.
Jared is staring at me wide eyed, "You… you just called me your son" he whispers.
I nod, "I did… I'm sorry if that makes you uncomfortable. I…" I stop and take a deep breath, "I feel a strange protective instinct towards you. Talking to you and watching you, I see my own mannerisms and I cannot in good conscience not do anything about your uncle".
Jared smiles up at me and he hesitantly moves closer to me, he reaches out and touches my arm, "It's weird… I feel like I know you – I mean I do know of you, as you are a public figure but it's different I feel like I know you".
I smile and my heart lurches at his comment and instinctively my arm goes protectively around his shoulder. I can't help but think of the situation a few months ago where Elliot met his birth mother and sisters and how that turned into a rescue mission. This is totally different though as Jared is a minor and there are laws about taking children out of state. With my influence though I am fairly certain I can facilitate something, even if it is to move him away to another member of his adopted family.
My attention turns towards Caroline, "As you have just heard, Jared has told me that his uncle is abusive" I turn towards Jared, "Jared this is Caroline and she is a professional therapist and she is very good, you don't have to but it might be helpful for you to have a chat with her".
Jared nods, "That would be really good if I could, so much has happened recently I feel kind of out of control".
Caroline smiles at him, "Then we will definitely sit and have a good long chat. Do you want Gideon to stay or do you want to speak with me alone?" she asks.
Jared hesitates, "I don't mind" he says with a shrug.
I smile at him, "How about I stay with you and then if you want me to leave I will" I say.
"That sounds ok… Gideon, can I just say thank you for what you are doing for me" he says carefully.
I take a deep breath in, "You have no need to thank me, you are my son" I say.
We all sit down around the table and Caroline looks at Jared kindly.
"How does it make you feel hearing Gideon call you his son?" she asks.
Jared shrugs, "A bit weird, I mean I know logically he is my biological dad… but in my head my dad is William Martin. He is the guy who has been there for me for the past thirteen years…" he pauses his eyes widening as he realises what he has just said. "I don't mean… you didn't know about me, I'm not blaming you" he adds in a rush.
I hold up my hand, "I'm not offended, I understand exactly what you mean – I am a stranger to you, your dad is the man you are grieving for".
Jared pauses, "It's weird though, as I said a moment ago I feel like I know you… I feel this kind of… I don't know… I'm not sure what it is… but it feels familiar… it feels right. It feels like there is something there… do you feel it?" he asks me.
I nod my head, I know exactly what he is trying to say as I do feel it and am having trouble to establish what exactly it is. "I do" I say simply.