Disclaimer: See chapter 1
Part 2
Uncertainty
By Random1377
"Are you feeling ok, Maya?" Ritsuko Akagi looked at her subordinate curiously, "You've been acting strange for three days... is there something you want to talk about?"
Maya Ibuki looked up from her computer (on which she had typed nothing for the past five minutes) and looked at her superior with wide eyes. It was one thing for the blonde woman to inquire after her at all, but the fact that she was asking because Maya had been noticeably down in performance worried her... she did not want her mentor's opinion of her to lower.
The older woman went on, smiling, "Is it a man, Maya? Did your date go.... VERY well?"
Maya blushed, "Sempai! We didn't... you know I don't... don't do that..." her blush intensified as the thought occurred to her that she normally didn't even kiss on the first date. This was... special. -Can... can you fall in love that fast?- she thought with some wonder.
Ritsuko's smiled broadened, "So I was right, you WERE thinking about that." She leaned forward, her eyes glinting, "Did you at least let him kiss you?"
"Yes, after he walked me home..." Maya admitted reluctantly, -she doesn't have to know WHO it was...- she thought, trying to figure out a way to have the senior computer tech drop the discussion.
"Then what's the problem? Are you going to see him again?" Ritsuko had set aside her keyboard, focussing her attention entirely on the brown-haired girl.
Seeing that she was not going to get out of talking about it, Maya said softly, "I don't know... he's younger than I am by a... few years..." she frowned, again thinking of how improper it was... and how she was spending more and more time thinking of his tranquil blue eyes.
"So?" Ritsuko was not one to let things like tact or propriety stand in her way, "What's the big deal? What's a year here or there?" She winked, "He's not in junior-high, is he?"
-Not since last year,- she thought miserably, "No... he's... he's older than that. Can we... talk about something else?"
Ritsuko shook her head, "No." she said flatly, "So what IS the problem Maya? Did you have fun?" The younger woman nodded, "Did HE have fun?" she nodded again, "do you want to see him again?" a hesitation, then a nod, "Then who cares about a little difference in age?"
"But..." the younger woman was flustered, "it's not proper to... to..." she didn't know how to say it without revealing any more than she already had... and her sense of decency was already screaming at her to shut up.
Ritsuko shook her head sadly, "Maya... you have GOT to let go of your old-fashioned values system, it's killing your love-life... I say go for it, age be damned."
Maya looked at her, -You probably wouldn't say that if you knew who it was...- she thought ruefully, but the doctor's words had made her feel more comfortable... even if only a bit. "I'll... I'll think about it..." she said, turning back to her console.
"Maya." Ritsuko said quietly, making her turn back, "Don't let yourself stay lonely because you are afraid to take a chance... ok?" The younger woman met her eyes, seemingly on the verge of saying something, then nodded. "Good," the older woman clapped her hands, "now I need you to concentrate because we have an unscheduled sync test for Shinji this afternoon." -Is it my imagination?- the blonde thought a minute later, -or did she just shiver when I told her that?- after a moment, she shrugged and went back to typing.
**
"Shinji..." Misato Katsuragi's voice had a vague echoing quality in the LCL, "you're starting to slip again... please focus."
Shinji nodded, "Yes, Misato... sorry..." he had thought that this would be a routine sync test, but he had forgotten that Maya would be sitting in full view of his monitor.
He sighed, making bubbles in the thick liquid, -Her lips were so soft... and she kissed me... SHE kissed ME...- the thought still boggled his mind, -She's so pretty...- he sighed again, -I really DO wish every day could be my birthday... it would be worth all of the lonelness at the beginning, just to get that kiss at the end...- he shook his head and tried to focus.
**
"Shinji's been acting strange since his birthday," Misato said quietly to Ritsuko, entirely missing the fact that Maya nearly fell out of her chair.
"Strange because you forgot it and he's depressed?" Ritsuko offered.
Misato glared at her, "I apologized... and I took him out to dinner the next night." She shook her head, "No... he's been... happy."
"And that's a bad thing?" She held up a hand, "I'll clear this up now right now," she leaned forward and keyed the mic, "Shinji?"
"Yes, doctor Akagi?" he replied, grateful that he didn't have to concentrate for a moment.
"What happened on your birthday?" she said coolly.
Shinji panicked, looking from Maya to Ritsuko on the monitor, "Umm... I... not... umm... much?" he smiled, "it was nice, though..."
Maya was blushing, -it was nice for me, too...-
Ritsuko was not to be sidetracked, "WHAT happened, Shinji? You'll stay in that plug until I find out." She warned.
Misato looked at her, "You're not serious?"
She held a hand over the mic, "Of course not, but he doesn't know that." To Shinji she said, "I'm waiting."
He began to sweat, "I... I saw a movie, then I had dinner... that's it..."
Ritsuko was not buying it for a moment, "Shinji... were you alone, or were you... with a girl?" -That's the only reason he could be so hesitant,- she thought, pleased at her deduction.
His voice was a whisper, "A... a girl..."
Ritsuko delivered the final stroke, "Shinji? Did you... sleep with her?" with a smile she leaned back, knowing that he would confess one way or the other. His sense of decency would not let him do otherwise, -He's kind of like Maya that way...- Ritsuko thought idly.
His face was comically outraged, "NO! I just walked her home and kissed h-" he slapped his hand over his mouth, changing to a shade of red reminiscent of Unit 02.
Instead of a triumphant smile, Ritsuko was frowning, 'I walked her home... he walked me home...' the two statements overlapped in her mind. She looked at Maya, who was blushing as she monitored the boy's vital signed, -It can't be...- Ritsuko thought, shaking her head, -it MUST be a coincidence.- She addressed Shinji again, "Shinji... who did you kiss? Was it Asuka? Rei? Who?"
Misato whispered in her ear, "It couldn't have been Asuka, she was with her friend Hikari all night."
"It couldn't have been Rei, either," Ritsuko whispered back, her eyes intent on Shinji, "she was... here all night."
Shinji folded his arms, "A true gentleman doesn't tell," before Ritsuko could say anything he hurried on, "and you can keep me in this plug until Third Impact, and I will NOT tell you." He saw Maya smiling slightly at him.
-Thank you...- she mouthed when she was sure the others weren't looking. She couldn't be sure he saw her, but she thought he smiled. She was unaware that her superior had already put the pieces of the puzzle together.
Ritsuko's eyes narrowed, "Ok, one last question... will you be seeing her again?"
His reply made Maya want to simultaneously dance and weep, "I... I don't know... but I don't think so, Doctor Akagi..." he said with a sad sigh and his eyes cast downward, "as much as I would like to... I... I think she only did it because I was lonely... I don't think she would want to be with me."
Ritsuko shot Maya a glance, catching the look of naked sorrow on the younger technician's face before she could hide it. "Thank you, Shinji. You may dismount now and go home." She deactivated the test system and waited as the room cleared. "Maya," she said, as the brown-haired woman stood, "I need to speak with you."
**
As he rode home, Shinji thought of Maya's face. -I... I wish I could see her again...-
His thoughts were interrupted by Misato, "So... who is it?" she asked, taking a corner at a higher speed than many formula one drivers would have felt comfortable with.
"I... I told you, I won't say." He said, looking out the window.
His head bumped into that window on the next turn, "No... you told RITSUKO that you wouldn't tell HER." She smiled, "as your guardian I need the information."
He frowned at her, rubbing his head, "No, Misato... I meant that I wouldn't tell ANYONE..."
Her smile only widened, "Oh, you'll tell me someday... maybe not today, but I'll find out." She braked hard as they arrived home, taking a year or two's worth of tread off of the tires. She leaned over to him, "At least tell me this, Shinji... was she pretty?"
He looked out the window with a far away look in his eyes, "She was beautiful..."
**
Ritsuko met Maya's eyes for a moment, uncertain how to proceed. Finally she spoke softly, "I understand why you were so hesitant now..."
Maya's eyes searched the floor, "I... it was just a kiss... just one..."
"So you've both said..." the older woman leaned against on of the desks, "but you saw the test results... he's down ten points -TEN! That doesn't happen from 'just' a kiss Maya."
Maya bowed her head, -What if it WAS more than that...?- she thought, -I've... I've never felt that with a kiss before.-
"Maya, look at me." The older woman commanded. When the younger woman met her eyes she continued, "Maya... I absolutely must know. DID you sleep with him? I need to know if he's feeling aftereffects from losing his virginity."
Maya shook her head, "No, Sempai, I... I've never slept with anyone, I-"
Ritsuko cut her off, "Listen, Maya..." she sighed deeply and walked over to the door, "as your superior officer I need to tell you where things stand. Right now, Shinji is confused. He doesn't know what his feelings are for you, or your feelings are for you... and I can see you are the same way."
Maya thought suddenly, -No... no I think that I know... I think that I... that I...-
Ritsuko continued, interrupting her thoughts, "You MUST tell him something, good or bad. If you tell him it was a one-time thing NOW, he will understand and move on... it may hurt, but it will cause him no lasting damage." She eyed the other woman, making sure she had her complete attention, "However, a happy pilot is an effective pilot... so if you DO pursue a relationship with him I don't think it will hurt. In fact, it may improve his sync rate to have the confidence that a stable relationship brings."
Maya looked confused, "Then... then what should I do?"
Ritsuko shook her head, "I can't tell you that. My recommendation as a NERV official would be to tell him that it will not work out. You are nearly nine years his elder and you work with him - a bad combination." Her face softened, "But as a woman, I know that you are alone... and that he is alone... and that he is absolutely smitten with you. Ultimately, the choice must be yours."
As Ritsuko opened the door, Maya asked quietly, "Sempai? What would you do?"
The blonde woman stepped out the door, holding it open for a moment as she spoke, "Speaking strictly as a woman? If I found someone I could love, and who loved me... I would never let them go." She let the door close, leaving Maya to her thoughts.
Continued...
Author's notes: Ok... Ok... I admit it, I don't KNOW that Maya is a virgin. She DOES strike me as a very proper girl, though, and based on her reaction to Kaji's advances in episode 14 (or was it 15?) when he hits on her, she does not have a LOT of experience. I do plan to have a minimum of one more chapter... or possibly more, depending on how the next part spins out. The threat of having hamsters sent to my house by one reviewer is remarkable incentive to keep going... ;)
In answer to another reviewer's question on time-frame: I let it deliberately vague because I was unsure myself... but now that you've pressed me ( :P ) I'll commit that the starting point is somewhere between ep 16 and 17.
Feedback is always welcome at Random1377@yahoo.com.
Part 2
Uncertainty
By Random1377
"Are you feeling ok, Maya?" Ritsuko Akagi looked at her subordinate curiously, "You've been acting strange for three days... is there something you want to talk about?"
Maya Ibuki looked up from her computer (on which she had typed nothing for the past five minutes) and looked at her superior with wide eyes. It was one thing for the blonde woman to inquire after her at all, but the fact that she was asking because Maya had been noticeably down in performance worried her... she did not want her mentor's opinion of her to lower.
The older woman went on, smiling, "Is it a man, Maya? Did your date go.... VERY well?"
Maya blushed, "Sempai! We didn't... you know I don't... don't do that..." her blush intensified as the thought occurred to her that she normally didn't even kiss on the first date. This was... special. -Can... can you fall in love that fast?- she thought with some wonder.
Ritsuko's smiled broadened, "So I was right, you WERE thinking about that." She leaned forward, her eyes glinting, "Did you at least let him kiss you?"
"Yes, after he walked me home..." Maya admitted reluctantly, -she doesn't have to know WHO it was...- she thought, trying to figure out a way to have the senior computer tech drop the discussion.
"Then what's the problem? Are you going to see him again?" Ritsuko had set aside her keyboard, focussing her attention entirely on the brown-haired girl.
Seeing that she was not going to get out of talking about it, Maya said softly, "I don't know... he's younger than I am by a... few years..." she frowned, again thinking of how improper it was... and how she was spending more and more time thinking of his tranquil blue eyes.
"So?" Ritsuko was not one to let things like tact or propriety stand in her way, "What's the big deal? What's a year here or there?" She winked, "He's not in junior-high, is he?"
-Not since last year,- she thought miserably, "No... he's... he's older than that. Can we... talk about something else?"
Ritsuko shook her head, "No." she said flatly, "So what IS the problem Maya? Did you have fun?" The younger woman nodded, "Did HE have fun?" she nodded again, "do you want to see him again?" a hesitation, then a nod, "Then who cares about a little difference in age?"
"But..." the younger woman was flustered, "it's not proper to... to..." she didn't know how to say it without revealing any more than she already had... and her sense of decency was already screaming at her to shut up.
Ritsuko shook her head sadly, "Maya... you have GOT to let go of your old-fashioned values system, it's killing your love-life... I say go for it, age be damned."
Maya looked at her, -You probably wouldn't say that if you knew who it was...- she thought ruefully, but the doctor's words had made her feel more comfortable... even if only a bit. "I'll... I'll think about it..." she said, turning back to her console.
"Maya." Ritsuko said quietly, making her turn back, "Don't let yourself stay lonely because you are afraid to take a chance... ok?" The younger woman met her eyes, seemingly on the verge of saying something, then nodded. "Good," the older woman clapped her hands, "now I need you to concentrate because we have an unscheduled sync test for Shinji this afternoon." -Is it my imagination?- the blonde thought a minute later, -or did she just shiver when I told her that?- after a moment, she shrugged and went back to typing.
**
"Shinji..." Misato Katsuragi's voice had a vague echoing quality in the LCL, "you're starting to slip again... please focus."
Shinji nodded, "Yes, Misato... sorry..." he had thought that this would be a routine sync test, but he had forgotten that Maya would be sitting in full view of his monitor.
He sighed, making bubbles in the thick liquid, -Her lips were so soft... and she kissed me... SHE kissed ME...- the thought still boggled his mind, -She's so pretty...- he sighed again, -I really DO wish every day could be my birthday... it would be worth all of the lonelness at the beginning, just to get that kiss at the end...- he shook his head and tried to focus.
**
"Shinji's been acting strange since his birthday," Misato said quietly to Ritsuko, entirely missing the fact that Maya nearly fell out of her chair.
"Strange because you forgot it and he's depressed?" Ritsuko offered.
Misato glared at her, "I apologized... and I took him out to dinner the next night." She shook her head, "No... he's been... happy."
"And that's a bad thing?" She held up a hand, "I'll clear this up now right now," she leaned forward and keyed the mic, "Shinji?"
"Yes, doctor Akagi?" he replied, grateful that he didn't have to concentrate for a moment.
"What happened on your birthday?" she said coolly.
Shinji panicked, looking from Maya to Ritsuko on the monitor, "Umm... I... not... umm... much?" he smiled, "it was nice, though..."
Maya was blushing, -it was nice for me, too...-
Ritsuko was not to be sidetracked, "WHAT happened, Shinji? You'll stay in that plug until I find out." She warned.
Misato looked at her, "You're not serious?"
She held a hand over the mic, "Of course not, but he doesn't know that." To Shinji she said, "I'm waiting."
He began to sweat, "I... I saw a movie, then I had dinner... that's it..."
Ritsuko was not buying it for a moment, "Shinji... were you alone, or were you... with a girl?" -That's the only reason he could be so hesitant,- she thought, pleased at her deduction.
His voice was a whisper, "A... a girl..."
Ritsuko delivered the final stroke, "Shinji? Did you... sleep with her?" with a smile she leaned back, knowing that he would confess one way or the other. His sense of decency would not let him do otherwise, -He's kind of like Maya that way...- Ritsuko thought idly.
His face was comically outraged, "NO! I just walked her home and kissed h-" he slapped his hand over his mouth, changing to a shade of red reminiscent of Unit 02.
Instead of a triumphant smile, Ritsuko was frowning, 'I walked her home... he walked me home...' the two statements overlapped in her mind. She looked at Maya, who was blushing as she monitored the boy's vital signed, -It can't be...- Ritsuko thought, shaking her head, -it MUST be a coincidence.- She addressed Shinji again, "Shinji... who did you kiss? Was it Asuka? Rei? Who?"
Misato whispered in her ear, "It couldn't have been Asuka, she was with her friend Hikari all night."
"It couldn't have been Rei, either," Ritsuko whispered back, her eyes intent on Shinji, "she was... here all night."
Shinji folded his arms, "A true gentleman doesn't tell," before Ritsuko could say anything he hurried on, "and you can keep me in this plug until Third Impact, and I will NOT tell you." He saw Maya smiling slightly at him.
-Thank you...- she mouthed when she was sure the others weren't looking. She couldn't be sure he saw her, but she thought he smiled. She was unaware that her superior had already put the pieces of the puzzle together.
Ritsuko's eyes narrowed, "Ok, one last question... will you be seeing her again?"
His reply made Maya want to simultaneously dance and weep, "I... I don't know... but I don't think so, Doctor Akagi..." he said with a sad sigh and his eyes cast downward, "as much as I would like to... I... I think she only did it because I was lonely... I don't think she would want to be with me."
Ritsuko shot Maya a glance, catching the look of naked sorrow on the younger technician's face before she could hide it. "Thank you, Shinji. You may dismount now and go home." She deactivated the test system and waited as the room cleared. "Maya," she said, as the brown-haired woman stood, "I need to speak with you."
**
As he rode home, Shinji thought of Maya's face. -I... I wish I could see her again...-
His thoughts were interrupted by Misato, "So... who is it?" she asked, taking a corner at a higher speed than many formula one drivers would have felt comfortable with.
"I... I told you, I won't say." He said, looking out the window.
His head bumped into that window on the next turn, "No... you told RITSUKO that you wouldn't tell HER." She smiled, "as your guardian I need the information."
He frowned at her, rubbing his head, "No, Misato... I meant that I wouldn't tell ANYONE..."
Her smile only widened, "Oh, you'll tell me someday... maybe not today, but I'll find out." She braked hard as they arrived home, taking a year or two's worth of tread off of the tires. She leaned over to him, "At least tell me this, Shinji... was she pretty?"
He looked out the window with a far away look in his eyes, "She was beautiful..."
**
Ritsuko met Maya's eyes for a moment, uncertain how to proceed. Finally she spoke softly, "I understand why you were so hesitant now..."
Maya's eyes searched the floor, "I... it was just a kiss... just one..."
"So you've both said..." the older woman leaned against on of the desks, "but you saw the test results... he's down ten points -TEN! That doesn't happen from 'just' a kiss Maya."
Maya bowed her head, -What if it WAS more than that...?- she thought, -I've... I've never felt that with a kiss before.-
"Maya, look at me." The older woman commanded. When the younger woman met her eyes she continued, "Maya... I absolutely must know. DID you sleep with him? I need to know if he's feeling aftereffects from losing his virginity."
Maya shook her head, "No, Sempai, I... I've never slept with anyone, I-"
Ritsuko cut her off, "Listen, Maya..." she sighed deeply and walked over to the door, "as your superior officer I need to tell you where things stand. Right now, Shinji is confused. He doesn't know what his feelings are for you, or your feelings are for you... and I can see you are the same way."
Maya thought suddenly, -No... no I think that I know... I think that I... that I...-
Ritsuko continued, interrupting her thoughts, "You MUST tell him something, good or bad. If you tell him it was a one-time thing NOW, he will understand and move on... it may hurt, but it will cause him no lasting damage." She eyed the other woman, making sure she had her complete attention, "However, a happy pilot is an effective pilot... so if you DO pursue a relationship with him I don't think it will hurt. In fact, it may improve his sync rate to have the confidence that a stable relationship brings."
Maya looked confused, "Then... then what should I do?"
Ritsuko shook her head, "I can't tell you that. My recommendation as a NERV official would be to tell him that it will not work out. You are nearly nine years his elder and you work with him - a bad combination." Her face softened, "But as a woman, I know that you are alone... and that he is alone... and that he is absolutely smitten with you. Ultimately, the choice must be yours."
As Ritsuko opened the door, Maya asked quietly, "Sempai? What would you do?"
The blonde woman stepped out the door, holding it open for a moment as she spoke, "Speaking strictly as a woman? If I found someone I could love, and who loved me... I would never let them go." She let the door close, leaving Maya to her thoughts.
Continued...
Author's notes: Ok... Ok... I admit it, I don't KNOW that Maya is a virgin. She DOES strike me as a very proper girl, though, and based on her reaction to Kaji's advances in episode 14 (or was it 15?) when he hits on her, she does not have a LOT of experience. I do plan to have a minimum of one more chapter... or possibly more, depending on how the next part spins out. The threat of having hamsters sent to my house by one reviewer is remarkable incentive to keep going... ;)
In answer to another reviewer's question on time-frame: I let it deliberately vague because I was unsure myself... but now that you've pressed me ( :P ) I'll commit that the starting point is somewhere between ep 16 and 17.
Feedback is always welcome at Random1377@yahoo.com.