A/N: This story takes place during the last scene of JTHM 7, when Johnny has just put in his last known Die-ary entry, and he's at the viewspot where he once-upon-a-time had seen with Devi. He has those 'horns' on his head which happened when he came back from the afterlife, after his hair fell out. As for Zim this takes place after the end of the "Walk of DOOM" episode.
Zim pulled out a tape recorder and looked nervously over his shoulder.
~"::Zim's Log:: Tuesday, 11 PM"~
^"What a day......I am so revolted I will not even DARE to reapet the horrible events that occured to me on the.........FFFFFFFFFFFIIILLTHYYYYY BUS today, but there is ONE thing I have discovered that I hate and despise more than humans, more than the city bus, more than Skool, and that is......*drumroll* THE BEEEEEEEESS......OOOOOoooooo it WILL be a sweet day for the Irken empire when I've cleansed this ffffffffffffffffffFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIiiiiiilllthy wasteball of all its human AND bee inhabitants. Zim out." ^
Zim put the recorder away with a sigh, as he started taking off his contacts. He was exhausted. "After getting lost only 78 times today GIR, I find myself quite pleased with our REMARKABLE progress..." he said to the little robot-doggy at his side. "I wanna buy some spacemeat!" chortled GIR letting himself get dragged down the sidewalk by his leash. "NO Gir, not now...we should be home QUITE soon...I recognize this place...it seems the pitiful human sacks of waste seem to be fearful of coming out at this time of night, they KnoooooOOOOOwwWWWww that that that...THINGS.....are out to get them. Heh heh heh. Yessssssss..I can smell it, we're so close to them, those blubbery sacks of FEAR! WAAH!! WAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!" Zim clamped a hand over his mouth to silence himself. "Ngg ngg mrrff hee hee! hee....." Zim continued to drag GIR for several minutes down the same dark street. There were some teenagers nearby! Quickly Zim pulled over his disguise again. Whistling an innocent tune he strutted past the teenage group.
"WOah...check out the freak.....isn't he that tiny dude who robbed the bank??" "DUUUDE! COOL! HEY!! DUDE!! DUDE!!" "heh, nice dog," smirked a blonde girl. Zim ran on ignoring them. "Stupid insignificant human youth maggots. They'll learn not to mistake ME for one of their pitiful species when I-.....GIR...GIR where ARE we??"
"Belly button?"
"NO, GIR, WHERE are we?" growled Zim. GIR blinked and stuck his tongue out and, and stared blankly at Zim till drool dripped off his tongue. Zim looked around. "I...I was SURE home was THIS way!! No...No...not that way, left left... left, yeeeeeess, that's it I KNOW its left!" Zim rushed to the left but it was a Dead end street. A distant dog barked and an stray cat hissed. "O...Kaaaaaay.....so its right, yes RIGHT WE MUST FLEE TO THE RIGHT." He rushed over to the right, and found a dismal dark ally way. "shoot, c'mon GIR...maybe.....maybe if we go up that fence, we can get a better view of things..." Zim pulled out his spider legs and they carreened him up ontop the fence and GIR used his jetpack to follow him. Zim put a hand to his eyes and glanced around, but none of these houses, streets, or landmarks looked familiar. He looked past the fence towards the east and he saw a large green hill, blocking his view.
"..are we there yet?" whimpered GIR.
"No GIR, not yet....hmm perhapsssssss, if we go ...up THERE*pointing at the hill* we STILL can see even further...and with my....aaawwwwwwAWESOME POWERS of INCREDIBLE EYESIGHT, we may still be able to find our way back...HOME."
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" squealed GIR.
Zim's clutched GIR tightly as his spider legs pulled him over the fence and onto the wet dewy grass. GIR cheered. Zim thrust off his silly disguise. "I doubt I will be needing THIS any longer. We're soooooo closssse to home we needn't..BOTHER." He sat atop GIR and GIR put his rocket jets on and flew Zim up the steep hill. When they got to the top, Zim jumped onto his feet and darted a quick look to his sides to check for anyone who might notice him. Nothing...just a bunch of trees, a tire swing on one of them, some old rotting broken picnic tables, thick weeds, nothing special. Zim realized it was beginning to drizzle...and drizzle hard! Unwilling to get burnt, blistered, and wet, he pulled GIR over under the large tree with the tire swing. He left GIR sitting in the tire while he listened. The rain only grew more and more thick, and Zim began to become utterly miserable. This was NOT his lucky day. Thunder rumbled far off in the distance and a pale light flashed, that made his eyeballs wither in pain. Zim, who had never seen lightning nor heard thunder, had absolutely NO idea what it was,and reacted in awe.
"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! EVILLL! EEEEEVILLL!!!"
Was this (like rain,) some other type of horrible type of meteorolgy these humans posessed, or had it meant something else much more significant??...or perhaps nothing significant at all, perhaps a meteor had simply struck the earth or maybe it was a comet...Zim waited for the big flash to happen again. It didn't. Zim breathed a sigh of releif. A dark thick storm cloud covered the moon enveloping Zim's surrondings...apparently, his AWESOME POWERS of INCREDIBLE EYESIGHT did not work so well in pitch blackness. Or maybe it was since he got his eyeballs burnt to a crisp, when he stared at the sun and they just weren't adjusted yet to being without his contacts. The rain poured down harder, so Zim took a step back farther against the tree trunk. The familiar horrible song of the children had once again pounded and pounded through his skull......like so many times before..
'We love rain! We love Rain! splash splash splash!! FUN FUN FUN! RAIN RAIN RAIN! WE LOVE RAIN! WE LOVE RAIN! SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH! fUN FUN FUN! Rain Raaiiin Raaaaaiiiiin......'
Zim shuddered for a moment, and gulped twice. Then he snapped. "MAAAAAAADNESSSSSS!!! AIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!"
Suddenly....
~~CRRRRRRRRAAAAAACK!! BBOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!~~~
"AACKKKKK!!!" shrieked Zim, but his shrieks suddeny died away in the third flash...again...and again..the thunder rolled and crashed. Zim's large eyes widened in awe, and wonder, for in that brief moment, that tiny split nano-second between blinding light and blinding darkness, he saw someone...was it??? COULD IT BE???? No....he couldn't DARE get his hopes up, not after the day he had just been having, but still....
".....youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu........"
* * * * *
Johnny reread his newly written Die-ary entry with sad and tired admiration.
DEAR DIE-ARY,
THE PASSIONS THAT DRIVE US SHOULD BE THE ONES WE RESPECT AND ADMIRE. TO FEEL CONTEMPT FOR ONE'S OWN MOTIVATION IS A VULGAR THING. TOO OFTEN IT SEEMS I'VE SUCCMBED TO LESS THAN ADMIRABLE COMPULSIONS DRIVEN BY THIS RIDICULOUSLY REPREHENSIBLE MACHINE OF MINE. SO MANY THINGS INSIDE THAT I CAN DO WITHOUT-DESIRES AND WHATNOT. SO EXTRANEOUS. BY THE TIME I WRITE IN THIS BOOK AGAIN, I HOPE TO BE AS COLD AS THE MOON THAT LIGHTS THIS PAGE.
Gloomily overlooking the city lights Johnny recalled when he had a few weeks ago he had sat here, with the only decent human being he could remember ever being in contact with, in this exact same spot with the exact same car, on the exact same planet...She......the one that got away....it all could've spared him this, this ridiculous torment he had thrust himself into..He was about to jump off, when suddenly...
"youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu......."
~FLASH!!!!! CRAAACK, BOOOOOOOM!~
Johnny looked up. Someone...someone was there? Who? Who could posibly be here to torment him one last time before he passed into the next life?? He knew who it would be. Some stupid teenage couple that's who. They had seen him and remembered him from bad past experiences...funny. Nny couldn't remember when he had ever set one of his captives free, anytime recently, nor of anyone of them escaping.....at least none to HIS knowledge...which at the moment was still hazy anyway so it made little difference to him. He still wasn't sure if what he had seen was the REAL heaven or hell, or God nor Satan. It'd all come back to him once he finished what he started. But first, to take care of some other unfinished business. Johnny pulled out a large knife which glinted in the darkness. Johnny smiled maniacly. 'Just one last time..' he thought. 'one last time. This will be the most beautiful of all my masterpieces, my magnum opus....yesssssss..' No nail impailed rabbit spoke any protests within his mind this time...had he simply given up on him? Or did he ever exist to begin with?? Or maybe...maybe it was a sign...a sign of farewell, a sad dismal, I-will-miss-you-even-though-you-were-a-jerk sign. Johnny stopped. No. Guilty feelings were not going to ruin his last day on earth. Johnny took out a second dagger and continued towards the invisible speaker...
* * * * * *
The silhouette's quick and agile movements proved to Zim his correct hypotheisis..
"but..it couldn't be..surely it was just another invader, or some messenger?? If it WAS a message it must be REALLy important, and REALLY Top-secret GIR!! Look at the SIZE of him!! WHy he looks like(DARE I SAY IT!?) the ALMIGHTY TALLEST?? Oh........GIR........this......this is the HAPPIEST, MOST PLEASENTLY SQUISHY, MORE OUTRAGEOUSLY GOOEY, MOST DELICIOUSLY tender DAY of my ENTIRE lifespannn!!!! Eeehhh! eeeheeeheeehee!! GASP, I say...GASP! EGAD!(he SAYS GASP)oh gosh, why oh gosh didn't I come ohhhhh gosh prepared for oh gosh this gosh!?! Here I am an utter mess!! I've got to look DECENT! GIR! GIR?? GIR are you listening to me???"
GIR was hanging on the tireswing with his mouth wide open collecting rainwater gargling. Zim shrugged.
The dark figure approached him, its wide grin gleaming in the darkness. Zim squinted. His eyes still were weak from gazing into the sun, although he'd never admit it to himself.
"My.....My...My MAGNUS! MY DARK SAVIOUR.......oooooOOOOOOooooo....." Zim's antennae drooped and his eyes grew wider and wider and wider. The figure suddenly erased its smile and hesitated. It scratched its head...it's 'antennae' twiched in the shadows. Zim fell to his knees and grovelled. "My MASTER....oh wait.....you must be a messenger..ARE YOU MY MASTER!? PLEASE do not tell me you are and thou speakst naught but lies, for then thou shall sufferth a tortured DEATH beyond comparison...
OH! I am SOO SORRY!! Please forgive my rude impudence and unforgivable unacceptable ways. I am just......I cannot beleive they have sent you...or did you send yourself...? SPEAAAK!!! SPEAK YOU VILE THING!!!" The figures eyebrows narrowed, and he stopped hovering over Zim, he raised himself to his full height. He stared down at him, but how Zim wondered. What kind emotion did he express?? It was to dark to tell. His eyes hurt too much. As the being raised itself, Zim's antenae dropped even further....It..It was so.....BIG! He had seen bigger humans before but this..this surely HAD to be one of the Almighty, or at least the one clostest in size to them!! And why was it so silent? "ooooooooOOOOO!" cried Zim. 'this....this must be REALLLYYYYYY seeeeeeeeecreeeeeet yeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssss hehehe!!' he thought to himself crying out in shock, and respect.
He gaped at the dark figure in admiration. He knew what that flashing and rumbling had must've meant NOW.
* * * * * *
Johnny was completely baffled. He could tell it wasn't a couple, and he didn't recognize the kid as one of his prisoners. It was about as tall as Squee, and why did he grovel like that?? Maybe he was mocking his height...yes, so many had before. Calling him a tall skinny faggot and the like..yet...this one seemed different for some reason. Either the kid was from the mental hospital or he was an effing good actor. There was a strange lump on his back, was he a hunchback? No...it seemed more of a backpack shape......still it was too dark too tell and he wasn't close enough.
'Should I find out who.........or what this guy is?? Then kill him?' pondered Johnny. 'Or maybe I can kill him THEN examine him....I don't know.............' Nny hadn't ever killed any kids before...at least any younger than 6 anyway, as far as he could remember...and it took a great level of angst to make him reach that level with children. He felt children were lucky, the only things that made them jerks were the goddamn stupid traits their parents had passed on to their offspring, such as prejudice, stupid blind ignorance, the idea that one should blend in with society, the idea that one must give up things, things that were close to the heart, rip out and spit on their childhood youth, energy and innocence and fill up their brains with useless sludge, like they were tuna cans on a conveyer belt of life. In the end all of them were dropped off into the deep dark dank box, and.....shipped away. It didn't matter what kind of tuna was in em.....they were just shipped away. Everyone is like that.......interesting analogy. If I wasn't here to GET shipped away, I might've written a very interesting philosphy book
'....heh. I am funny..' he thought.
Still. WHat on EARTH could this strange creature BE?? 'I wish I had a BrainFreezy right about now...' Johnny thought and thought, and puzzled and puzzt, till his puzzler was sore...
'oh, how I HATE these moral dillemas...'
.............Meanwhile........
A dark small silhoutte was backed up behind a tree. It was on the lower far eastern side of the hill, and was hidng behind one of the trees in the fields. The shadow kid glanced up at the two...no 3 figures up on the hill...One was this really tiny one and it was on the tire swing, it had to be GIR...and OH NO! WHo Was THAT!!?? Could it be........ANOTHER IRKEN???!! No wait...it just looked like a person who had antennae.....perfectly normal indeed! ANd it was holding a knife or two, that's nothing out of the ordinary.....CLUTCHING A KNIFE?! Oh well...it mattered little to him anyway. Perhaps......perhaps the person was after-
"Zim......" whispered Dib maliciously. "Better watch your STEP Ziiiiiiimmmmm......yesssss..mwa!..mwa!...MWAHAHAHAAAAAA!! EEP!...poop." Dib quickly covered his mouth and chuckled. 'Oh......I wish I had a Brainfreezy right about now...'
"Zim......heh heh heh heh heh..."
* * * * * *
Zim suddenly felt something very close by. He didn't know why but he suddenly felt uneasy.....
"Excuse me please" said Zim looking around. '.......Its DIB! I KNOW it! I can smell that little bacteria covered ape creature a lightyear away...'
" Its just that there's a little someone I whom I preferrably desire to be DEAD at the moment, and I must keep an eye out for..HIIMMMM."
At the word 'dead' Nny's eyes lit up. At least he'd not have to deal with guilt in THIS case. Here he'd be killing 2 birds with one stone, not only did he get to have fun without feeling the guilt, but he got to do a good deed as well!
Suddenly GIR whispered in a little singsong way.
"Zim likes diiib, ziim liikes diiiiiib, ziiiim liiiikess diiiiib-"
"QUIET GIR!!! I must have absolute siiiiillennncee."
GIR whooped and whislted. Then he whined. "Zim, I wanna be in time for my TV show!! Ostrich!!" he cried pointing at the tree he saw Dib hiding behind.
"QUIET GIR!! I'm looking for Diiiiiib.........AHAAAA! There he is..." he hissed angrilly, grinding his zipperlike teeth together. "OOOOOOOH!! DIB! RUN RUN RUN RUN DIB! YES! RUN LIKE A MONKEY BABY, HAAA! DIB!!! DIIIIIB!oooooooooooooooooo, IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU!!!! HA!! stupid humans, they don't know left from right, isn't that right my master?? Sigh...if only I had the chance, I could rip out Dib's organs again. Oh don't you just HATE the human race??"Zim said happily up at Johnny. Johnny blinked a few times in the dark and lifeted an eyebrow. This kid DEFINITLY had issues..he sounded JUST LIKE him, and that is a BAD sign.
GIR squeaked. "zim, why do you hate Dib? I like Dib. He smells like zuchinnis and cheeeeeese!"
"Iiiiiiiiii HAaaaaaaate Hiiimmmmmmm. I wish he were DEAD!!!" he shrieked hopping up and down on his tiny legs. "always ruining my schemes and messing up my plans ooooooh IHATEHIMIHATEHIM! Of all the poopybrained humans HE had to be the one who knows my seeeeeeecret...."groweld Zim gnashing his teeth. He didn't notice Johnny had silently skulked over to his car to get something, but like we said before, it was DARK, and also the effects from gazing at the sun still had an effect on his eyes.
Johnny silently walked and took a striped pair of arrows and his bow. He sure had fun with them before, on that alchohlic guy who had the KICK ME sign he had attached...OH what FUN! Johnny wickedly laughed out loud inside his car and chuckled to himself when he got out.
"Master? Tallest?? My Tallest what are you doing??" asked Zim inquisitively. He strutted over, tripped over a tree root and fell in a rainpuddle. He was out of range from the trees large branches and rain water splattered on his body. He screamed and wailed and his skin festered. Johnny tilted his head, and grew worried. 'What a weird skin condition this kid has' he thought. He threw a squished tube of Bactine into Zim's blistering hands.
"AaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKK!!!-HUH, what's this?-AAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!"
Johnny needed to concentrate on his target, so he made a "SSHHH!" movement, by putting a very long and very bony finger to his mouth. Silently, he made a movement between his hands as if he were unscrewing some sort of invisble bottle then rubbing them together. Zim got the point, and began rubbing the bactine all over his hands. It made them sting even more.
"YAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
But the blistering ceased. Wiping mud off his hands and uniform, he strutted back into the shadows and safety of the tree. He watched as Nny pulled the bowstring and....TWAAAAANGGG!!
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Zim was gritting his little hands deep into the tree trunk and glancing into the pouring rain for any sign of Dib, holding his breath, daring not to let his goo circulate until he knew whether or not the arrow had pierced Dib's filthy human flesh....
* * * * * *
Dib was breathing really really fast. He wondered what that.....THING was doing. It looked like.....an ARROW? "What? NOBODY uses arrows, except for m-maybe s-some kind of crazy, crazed, Homicidal Maniac crazy p-person...........HAHAHA!!!" cried Dib laughing nervously. Suddenly,
'......what the? '
HE WAS AIMING STRAIGHT AT HIM!!! Dib screamed bloody murder and ducked and slipped and fell flat on his face. He screamed and slid straight on a a huge mud puddle right under the tree. If it wasn't for the extra bit of friction the puddle gave him, his back would be exactly where the arrow was right now sticking in the muddy ground. Dib's eyes widened in fear and he hollered.
"ZIM! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, I JUST WANNA TELL YOU THAT YOUR LITTLE FRIEND MISSED ME BYA MILE SO HAHA!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT YOU STUPID ALIEN?! LONG LIVE THE HUMAN RACE!! YOU'LL NEVER CONQUER THE WORLD, SO LONG AS DIB UNEXPLAINED IS STILL AROUND TO SAVE IT!! FAREWELL ZIM! I'm going to.... go and.......run some moreawayfromyourcrazyfriendwhoseemstobeaiminganotherarrowatme,BYEEE!!!!" Dib leaped and tripped over a root, he flipped and rolled over. Johnny's second shot went straight through his head!
.....Well through his HAIR anyway. Dib fainted. When he did he rolled down the side of the hill and that brought him back to painful conciousness.
"oooh......" he moaned. He pulled the arrow out of his hair in a daze. With that he rushed off clutching the arrow in his left hand.
" AIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" he cried.
"WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOUR TALLNESS?! SHOOT HIM! SHOOT HIM SHOOOOOOT HIIIIM!!"
Johnny shook his head, and pointed at the empty arrow quiver. "Oh......you're out.... I seeeee...hmm. Oh well. Leaves room for ME to get him...anyway."
"Your highness I have began an all extensive investigation of this planet's FIIIIIIIILTHHYYY inhabitants and they have more weakness's than they have organs. They're so obliteratingly STUPID that they- hey how come when YOU get wet you don't burn up?? I don't see any disguises on you(Heck I can't see ANY of you.), and whenever I wear MY disguise I still get blisters upon my blistered blisters....so then......HEY! And why is there only ONE of you anyway? Where is RED!?.....or Purple, I don't which one YOU are.....and why all the silence??? TALK TO MEEEEEEEE! I MUST KNOOW WHO ARE YOUUUUUUU!!?" Johnny gasped. Zim fell to his knees and whimpered. "I am as fiiiiiiiiiiilthyyyyy as the humans now for have saying those DREADFUL vile FILTH dripping words of most horrilble dripping......well...FILTH. I must hold my spleeches and watch what I say from now on. I see that you are not the almighty tallest, for surely the other one.........of YOU, would've arrived plus a grand procession, but most all what makes my eyes unfog the deception, was the fact you ALLOWED me to LIVE to say those vile dripping filthy words of filthy filthyness. However I will not dwindle my utmost respects to you for you seem of utter importance, due to your well.........TALLNESS. So speak my good comrade, and TEELLLLL MEEEEE, what news you may bring upon the large oversized head of this mighty and bold Irken Invader ZIM?? I ORDER YOU TO SPEAAAK!!" Johnny said nothing but gaped at him in the darkness..
* * * * * * **
No......there was no way.....the idea was utterly ridiculous and laughable. An ALIEN?? HERE!? TALKING TO HIM!? And what seemed to be the most funny factors of all was that this......"ALIEN"could speak perfect english, and second it seemed to be amazed at his tallness, and refered to him as just that. It had called him MASTER. Johnny did NOT like this at ALL. He knew what it was like....to be enslaved. What exactly it had wanted he did not know nor really care. The main thing was he despised humantiy too, and he LIKED THAT. Oh yes. This guy HAD to be examined first THEN killed. Nny couldn't beleive he had thought he actaully thought he was communicating with an alien. NO alien could POSSIBLY be STUPID enough to want to take over THEIR stupid wasteball of a planet...Reaching out a groping hand he thought 'I MUST FIND OUT what makes you tick...you..you're too much kid, just too much.,..just like ME!..' perhaps it was some freakish supernatural crossing that made him meet his past childhood self??? Like in 'The Youth' by Dizzy Pictures Studios....Johnny couldn't remember. 'Had my hair ALWAYS been this way?' he thought noticing the dark outline of Zim antennae in the pouring rain. 'Was I that short when I was young? Man I grew. DID I have a talking dog? I can't remember..I can't remember anything..' Johnny pulled out his knives and snatched Zim by the hand. He was wearing...GLOVES?! Yes...that was something Johnny DID remember...he had ALWAYS worn the gloves...ALWAYS. He looked at his other hand. Yes, still there. Johnny grinned. Then he grew nervous. If..IF.....maybe if he killed his PAST self....did that mean his future self would not exist??? What an interesting experiment this was going to be!
* * * * * *
"HEY!!! LET GO OF ME!" yelled Zim. The moisture from the rain wiped off Nny's gloves and onto his arm, which made it crackle and pop. "OWWW!! OWOWOWOW! YOU ARE HURTING MEEEE! ACCCCCCKKKK!!! STOP!! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP THIS VERY SECOND YOU WORTHLESS BLITHERING BUFFOON LIKE.....THING!!! I HAVE NO CARE IF YOU ARE ANOTHER IRKEN INVADER I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU TAKE ME OUT IN THIS WEATHER! I AM VERY SENSITIVE TO ANY FORMS OF H2O, AND-...... ROBOT ARM!!!!!! ROOOOOOOBOOT ARMMMMM! MOMMYYYYYYY MOMMMMMY HELPPPPP I'M BEING CAPTURED, HELPPPPPPP MEEE MY ROBOT ARM MOMMYYYYYY ACCCCCCCCCCCK!!!!"
GIR clapped his hands and whistled 'London bridges Falling Down."
"RRRRRRG!! HELP me GIR!! GIR! MOVE!"
GIR whistled a happy "yessir, rightaway Master!" and rushed to his aide. GIR put out his rocket jets and waited for Zim to board him. "gET oN mASteR!" he whistled in a strange pitch. "I-I CAAAAANT!! WHo ever this......GUY is, he is dragging me back!! HELP! I-I think he's some kind of replacement!! OH NO! That can't be truuuuuuuue!!! I wanna stay here and conquer the humans FIRST! Lemme go!!! NOOOOOO!" And THEN.
~~CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKK!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!~~
Zim's eyes widened in utter fear, as did Nny's. Johnny released Zim's tiny hand and gazed back at him when everything plunged again into darkness...
~~ CRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKK!!!!~
Zim saw him, for the first time..at least a little bit, the lightning and thunder had starlted him and he wasn't ready for it...WHY oh why, did he have stare at the sun so hard!? A piece of dead skin shrivelled up inside his eye and he had to wipe it out, but with little success except in getting his hands all sticky..
He blurrily made out a cold eyed, dark-haired, dark attired, very tall, very lean very sickly looking, very deranged looking, squinty eyed, yet large thick eyebrows..the resemblance between this person and Dib was very striking. If Dib had shaved his head into two 'antennae' like parts, and grew only 6 times in size,...............
~~BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!~~~
* * * * * * *
Johnny's heart stopped. Had...had he actually SEEN what he THOUGHT he saw?! No. It HAD to be the light. It just HAD to be, there was no possible way the kids skin was GREEN..and if he WAS an alien, it was too bizarre. A little green bug. How traditional. How unoriginal. There was no possible way it was an alien...perhaps he was some tranvestite midget who just happened to have gone down the drain even further than Johnny had, and so, in his large hatred for mankind for ridiculing him on his height decided to dress like that, telling himself and the world out of comfort that he was NOT one of THEM?? Johnny's head spun. This was too abstract and surreal, there wasn't any proper explantation for this, unless someone had slipped a VERY bad thing in his Brainfreezy drink last night, which could've been possible...
And he was feeling very strange that night. Perhaps it was some crazy relapse from lack of some exterior mind-control force, like the Doughboys or Reverend MEAT. First utter depression(he was about to kill himself) then manicness and greed(his attempting to kill this Zim fellow even before he really got to know him,) then the desire to do good deeds out of some sort of twisted sympathy(killing Dib) and now he was thinking about his past self and even beginning to doubt his existence. This whole thing could just be a hallucination, just a sad, sick sick dream. He hated sleep, for putting him through questionable torment and things of the like. Surely.......
~~CRAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!~~~......NO. This wasn't a dream.
~~BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM~~
It.....it was.....not human. Johnny's eyes widened and he crossed his arms and shook his head in an utterly stupified manner. But he said nothing, and he did not show it very much. Not that he was trying to keep his head, (he always wound up losing his temper in the end, if there was no brainfreezys or TV nearby)his face just lately had a way of only being cold and emotionless. He liked it that way, the colder the better, just like Mr.Samsa. In fact this......THING...bore a strange cartoony resemblance to Mr.Samsa...
'Only I don't think Mr. Samsa would be such a friggen blabbermouth and I don't think he's got a special goofy dog sidekick...thing.' Either way.....Johnny pitied it...or despised it, he didn't know quite WHICH to feel, it was annoying him with it's noises....
* * * * * * *
"GASP!!!" cried Zim. "I was riiiiiiiight....they HAVE sent someone to replace me..he MUST be far better than I am,.....perhaps it is someone who is a far better invader? I mean...look at the guy, he's silent and mysterious, he'd probably outgrow the Tallest in a couple of months....this mission perhaps they find it SO secret and SO dangerous that even leaving ME(despite being an Invader as CUNNING and SKILLED as I am, of course)would be a flaw, a MISTAKE?? Oh....." Zim sighed. "If only I...I had some sort of sign, yessss, so kind of SIGN that told me you are NOT the one to plague this twirling sphere of MADNESS with DOOM for its DOOMED empires...TELL ME!!! GIVE ME A SIIIIIIIGN!"
~~CRAAAAAAAAAAACK!! BOOOOOM! ~~
Zim cried out again. He saw him much clearer this time now!
"Egad!!!" cried out Zim. "Why.....you.....YOu're disguise is AMAZING!!!!!!!! you.....my maaaaaaaagnuuuuuus........" he muttered. "Uh.....excuse.....erm..." he said chocking back.
"Squeeeeeee....." he squealed, backing against the tree. The Irken was coming for him, and it was holding up a KNIFE! "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
~~CRAAAAAAACK! BOOOM!!!~~ The lightning revealed a deranged grin as Johnny moved in for the kill. Rain water dripped from his antenae shaped hair and jacket as he lunged foward.
" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHKKKKKKKKK!!!" screamed Zim in utter terror. He fainted. And just in the nick of time. Johnny's knife planted itself firmly in the thick trunck of the tree. Johnny stared. It'd be unfair to just well-stab him in the back, like that, if he was unconcious, Nny always allowed his victims to savor that last bit of fear before their impending DOOM was upon them and had pierced their bodies. He'd just wait till Zim came to.
Suddenly.......
"Hi there! What's YOUR name?! Mongoose!"
Johnny wheeled around. It was the DOG. The DOG talked?? No wait......NOW it was taking off its SKIN.....revealing......a ROBOT?? A robot with cute blue eyes. Oh well. So Johnny WAS dreaming after all. Shoot, this was going to be such an interesting experiment too, there was no point in enjoying himself, if he was only going to be crushed in the end whenever he came back to reality.
* * * * * * *
"My name is Johnny,but you can call me 'Nny' for short. And who might YOU be???" he said smiling happily. He squatted down on the wet ground waiting for a response.
GIR's eyes flashed red and said "GIR reporting for duty!!" His eyes returned to their original blue.
"I like you ninny, do u have any sandwiches???"
"mmm......no i don't think so.. I've not eaten anything in well, days, I've been trying to eliminate all basic human needs for myself.."
"Oh.."said GIR a bit dissapointed. then he grinned. "What DO you have then??"
Johnny thought for a moment. At least this robot was polite.
"Hmmmmm......" he pondered scratching his pointy chin thoughtfully smiling.
"I happen to have a nice batch of corpses in the back trunk, wanna see?"
"EWWWWWWW! Icky sticky yuckety POOH!! Ninny gross guy!!!"
"I thought not......well.....there ARE some shiny objects I keep at home..."
"SHiiiiiiiinnnnnnneeeee objecccccccts???" said GIR in a very slow motion sort of way.
"Actually, since several previous usages of them they may not be so shiny any MORE, but I can wash em' when I get home...would you like to go home with me??"
"OOOOOOH! The Ninny has shiny objects for me to play with! And yes, I wanna go home and watch the TV, the Scary Monky show is on very soon. Me an' Zimmy wanna go Home, Mr. Ninny you're so NICE I wuv you!!!" GIR hugged Johnnys tall skinny legs with adorable affection.
"Awww....that's so cute..." sighed Johnny."Almost as cute as Nailbunny was before I......well......hmm...NAILED him to the wall you see. I only got to feed him once."
"OH." said GIR not quite caring, nor seeing the warning in this.
"So are you coming to my house or what??" asked Johnny paitently.
"Ummmmm......I don't know if Zim would like that...he wants to go to OUR housey house you see, its this reeeeeeallllly itsy bitsy house with these leprachaun people and funny bunnys and these neat TUBEY thingys sticking out all over the place.....oh and its green."
Johnny knew what he was probably talking about, it was the really really tiny house that 'magically' popped up last Saturday. Perhaps this was all some sort of bizzarre connection, along with his destiny, like the Wall thing?? Who knew. It seemed a LOT nicer this time though. Johnny smiled and grabbed the unconciuos Zim's hand and dragged him through the wet grass. The rain had finally ended, and the wetness of the grass pained Zim enough to wake him up.
"ooooooohhh......" moaned Zim feebly. He was in too much pain at the moment, and he felt quite sick to tell the truth. He moaned and wailed and shrieked with pain from the wet grass, but he did not put up a good struggle, as it only got him more wet. The dark storm clouds soon lifted and the pale moonlight revealed Nny altogether. Zim had been right! It was a replacement, and it was trying to prove to him how much more efficent he was, how he could resist the petty attributes of Earthly water and HE could not. Zim whimpered. He felt utterly miserable. Johnny carried Zim and thrust open the car door. He shoved Zim inside and slammed the door, not to scare Zim but because he was frustrated at this dream already, it had been annoying enough. Perhaps if he got rid of this...THING in a proper manner, it'd all go away..he motioned silently for GIR to get in. GIR squealed and leaped right onto Zim's stomach.
"OOOFF AAAAACK!!!!! GIR GET THE HECK OFF ME!!!" he howled shoving GIR off. GIR stuck his tongue out at Zim and obeyed. Johnny suddenly thrust the pedal and they sped off at 20......40...........60........70!.......90 miles an hour!!! He was going right off the cliff!!!
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed everyone, including Johnny who was sort of cackling insanely, and screaming in terror at the same time which by the way, is VERY hard to do, and must not be practiced around small children.
GIR squealed with delight as the car did a barrel roll. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" howled Zim, holding for dear life to the passenger seat.
The car landed on its wheels with a CRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAASSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! right into the junk yard down below.
Gasping with fear Zim messily heaved himself up out of the rubble.
'It seems I'm still alive...' thought Johnny miserably. 'well, here we go again.......oh well!!!'
"MWAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!" he crowed with delight.
"MWAAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" screeched GIR imitating him, and doing a pretty good job too.
Johnny drove on out of the junkyard and leaving a pile of rubble and hubcaps, streaked on through the fence, and into the street. Luckily it was 4 in the morning now so there wasn't any cars. The car screeched and left burning tire tracks, as they sped off down south.
15 minutes later......
The car screeched to a stop in front of a run down shack, with no grass for a fron lawn only dirt. It was tiny compared to all the other houses, and the windows were boarded up. The door had a sign posted on it which read "Knock on me. You just TRY it...." And the doorbell said......"I am the doorbell."
"hmmmmmm......."thought Zim. "This guy may have a better disguise than I do, but his home is inferior, HAH!! LOOK at its stupid.......stupidness! One may as well just hang an 'I Love Earth' sign on his door! HEEHEE!........" Zim checked himself, then piped down.
"But......this isn't my-"
Johnny gave him I-know-that-quite-well-and-your-gonna-wish-it-wasn't, kind of look.
"Eeeeeee......." whimpered Zim. Nny grabbed Zim by his feet and dragged him from the car.
"WHOOOOOOHOOOOO!! Shinee objects, shiny objects, we're gonna play with shiny objects!!!" he sang skipping down the walkway.
"AAUGHHHHHH!!!" cried Zim clawing the pavement and dirt with his hands, leaving trails as Johnny dragged him closer to the door.
"Please oh please oh please have mercy on me!!!!!!!!! I....I am too YOUNG to die! I'm to NICE to die!!! I'm too ME to DIEEEEEEE WAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHH!! Help meeeeeee robo arm, oh by some crazy stupid miracle just get me OUTTA here with my head still attcahed to my neck and my splorches in their right places, and my skin membrane not pierced, and-and-and...AND!!! OH SOMEBODY HEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPP!!!!!!"
GIR stared dumbly at Zim. Then his eyes narrowed, and he marched over to Johnny who by now had sucessfully dragged Zim to the porch, and his hand was on the knob.
"Ex-scoooooooooooooooz meeeeeee mister Ninny person...." said GIR tugging on Johnny's black jacket.
Johnny glared down angrilly at GIR. GIR's eyes returned to their normal shape.
"Uh ummmmmmmm, would you please be so kind as to let Master go? We didn't take over Earth yet, and I'm gonna miss my shooooooow, so please let him go?? I'll pway with your shiny objects tomorrow okee?"^_^
Johnny's angry look faded into a sad smile. He sighed, then nodded. Releasing Zim roughly, Zim plopped onto the concrete floor with a THUD. Groaning, he rubbed some gravel off him eyes and drooled, while staring at the pink sky.
"ohhhhhhhhh........mmmmmm......owwwwwww......." he moaned. Johnny picked Zim up by the collar which made him gag, and threw him through the car window with a tinkling crash, upside down into the back seat. Following his example, GIR leaped through the passenger window, into the seat next to the steering wheel headfirst. "Wheeheheeeeeeeee! Thats was fun doitagain,doitagaindoitagain,doitagaindoitagain,WHEE!!!"
Zim's head began leaking a bit of redissh goo on his hands as he bled. Clutching the side of his swollen jaw, he shut his eyes tightly and rubbed his head with his left hand.
Johnny thrust open the door and stepped in, bending his very long legs squating down in the puny car. He gritted his teeth, and swerved the car out into the street and sped on down through the Dead end street.
"Ex.....Excuse me........but this is a.....WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
They whooshed on through the white fence the Dead end sign smashed to bits. The top part that said 'DEAD' in large black letters plowed through the passenger window and hit Zim in the face.
Zim held it up, and turned it rightside up.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" he screamed tossing it away and shivering.
Johnny plowed his way through several flower beds, fences and nearly ran over a squirrel who was slightly hypnotized by the large headlights on his car, then knocked over 5 garbage cans with a loud clatter, which probably woke up half the neighborhood.
At last they pulled up in front of Zim's house.
"HOMMMMMMMMMMMMME!!!!!!" gasped Zim then he fainted.
* * * * * *
They slowly pulled up in front of Zim's house.(Oh wait I said that, nevermind.....)
Zim shuddering and trembling and shaking, chattered his teeth as he slowly and timidly pulled himself together. Zim nodded thankfully. It was NOT one of the Tallest, it was just another plain Irken. Still whether he had a rival or a message, he did not know and he honestly didn't care either. He apparently was QUITE capable of more than just KILLING him. As soon as he set one pointy booted foot onto the sidewalk him ZOOOOOOOOMED screaming his daylights out, and rushed so fast he banged into the door and knocked himself out again. The door opened slowly and the parent bots stuck their freaky heads out. "Welcome home son,..."they droned.
GIR hopped out of the car and waved a happy little goodbye to Johnny.
"Thank you mister Ninny. I wuv you!!" He hugged Johnny's legs as he lurched himself out of the car.
Johnny grinned. It was such a cute little hallucination, it was so sad that he didn't have the heart to rip it open and hang it over on the doorknob. It was...pathetic.
Johnny glowered and stared down the dark highway avoiding eye contact. Then he gazed up at the sky. He still didn't wake up yet. Nuts.
"Here..."he growled.
He looked over his shoulder as he handed GIR a ripped, battered, muddy, burnt, smoking, raggy scrap of what was left of his dog costume.
"Ooooooh...THANK YOU!" said GIR. He suddenly gazed up at a silhoutted Johnny.
"Ninny...will........will we ever meet each other again??"
Johnny stared at GIR. Then he stared at the sky again. He sighed.
"Probably not."
"Oh." sadly, whispered GIR. He was very dissapointed.
"But it has been nice talking to ya. Pooh., its such a shame.......Heh.
.....Now run along and amscray, you little scamp."
GIR trotted off humming the Doom song to himself and waved one last goodbye from the porch as he watched Johnny sulkily drag himself over to the car. Rolling down the window, Johnny stuck a real long arm and he waved a silent goodbye as he screeched the tires to the right and dissapeared into the shadows.
'This little meeting of ours.....' thought Johnny. 'it really makes me think of someone.....someone I.......SQUEEGEE! THAT'S IT!! I haven't seen Squee in so long!'
"Okay Squeezy, here I commmmmme!!" he sang as he varoomed down the dark concrete street.
"WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAH!! RAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!":D
* * * * * *
^"......Zim's Log:: Wendsday 1:49 AM.
I beleived I had encountered one of the almighty Tallest. I still am unsure exactly WHO or WHAT he was, but all I can say is his disguise is AMAZING. He doesn't even fester when encountered with water molecules. I have NO idea who he is.........but I prooooomisse.................if he is planning to conquer this puny ball of waste, even if he IS one of the Tallest...........I sweeeeeeeeeeear, he will have to answer to ME first. I WILL NOT LET THEM HAVE THIS PLANET, WITHOUT MY CONSENT.
"WE."
"WILL."
"MEET."
"AGAIN."
.................................Zim out"^
With that, Zim began to maniacly laugh. GIR accompanied him and their shrieking cries of impending DOOM echoed throughout the dark skies............
"DWWWWWWWOAOAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" :D"HA!"
THE END.
.....????
:D
::Dib bursts through the sign saying the above:::
"NOOO!! IT IS NOT THE END DO YOU PEOPLE HEAR ME!?? I mean, its the end of the SHOW of course, but, HEY!!!!! HEY!! Hey, I STILL intend to capture Zim, and when I do the WORLD will know of his evil plots, he's NOT going to get away with this! LOOK at you people READING this when you(like me) should be out there stopping this, this, MADNESS, this horrible ordeal, and-LOOK AT YOU!!! HEY!!!
:: the screen begins to close circle on him::
"NO NO NO!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! ZIIIIIIImmmmmmmmmmm!!!!! AAAAAAAAAUHHHH!!"
Gaz's voice screams out.
"DIB GET OVER HERE!!!" Gaz's hand peaks out throught the hole and grabs him by the ear, and pulls him through into the hole.
"OWCH GAZ!!" The hole almost closes. Mad Zim laughter sound effects, and GIR singing the DOOM song. GIR sticks his head out of the hole and touches his forehead, and his eyes turn red, and the hole closes over him, with a large red Irken symbol, an emergency broadcast system noise is inserted.
THE REAL END.
Zim pulled out a tape recorder and looked nervously over his shoulder.
~"::Zim's Log:: Tuesday, 11 PM"~
^"What a day......I am so revolted I will not even DARE to reapet the horrible events that occured to me on the.........FFFFFFFFFFFIIILLTHYYYYY BUS today, but there is ONE thing I have discovered that I hate and despise more than humans, more than the city bus, more than Skool, and that is......*drumroll* THE BEEEEEEEESS......OOOOOoooooo it WILL be a sweet day for the Irken empire when I've cleansed this ffffffffffffffffffFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIiiiiiilllthy wasteball of all its human AND bee inhabitants. Zim out." ^
Zim put the recorder away with a sigh, as he started taking off his contacts. He was exhausted. "After getting lost only 78 times today GIR, I find myself quite pleased with our REMARKABLE progress..." he said to the little robot-doggy at his side. "I wanna buy some spacemeat!" chortled GIR letting himself get dragged down the sidewalk by his leash. "NO Gir, not now...we should be home QUITE soon...I recognize this place...it seems the pitiful human sacks of waste seem to be fearful of coming out at this time of night, they KnoooooOOOOOwwWWWww that that that...THINGS.....are out to get them. Heh heh heh. Yessssssss..I can smell it, we're so close to them, those blubbery sacks of FEAR! WAAH!! WAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!" Zim clamped a hand over his mouth to silence himself. "Ngg ngg mrrff hee hee! hee....." Zim continued to drag GIR for several minutes down the same dark street. There were some teenagers nearby! Quickly Zim pulled over his disguise again. Whistling an innocent tune he strutted past the teenage group.
"WOah...check out the freak.....isn't he that tiny dude who robbed the bank??" "DUUUDE! COOL! HEY!! DUDE!! DUDE!!" "heh, nice dog," smirked a blonde girl. Zim ran on ignoring them. "Stupid insignificant human youth maggots. They'll learn not to mistake ME for one of their pitiful species when I-.....GIR...GIR where ARE we??"
"Belly button?"
"NO, GIR, WHERE are we?" growled Zim. GIR blinked and stuck his tongue out and, and stared blankly at Zim till drool dripped off his tongue. Zim looked around. "I...I was SURE home was THIS way!! No...No...not that way, left left... left, yeeeeeess, that's it I KNOW its left!" Zim rushed to the left but it was a Dead end street. A distant dog barked and an stray cat hissed. "O...Kaaaaaay.....so its right, yes RIGHT WE MUST FLEE TO THE RIGHT." He rushed over to the right, and found a dismal dark ally way. "shoot, c'mon GIR...maybe.....maybe if we go up that fence, we can get a better view of things..." Zim pulled out his spider legs and they carreened him up ontop the fence and GIR used his jetpack to follow him. Zim put a hand to his eyes and glanced around, but none of these houses, streets, or landmarks looked familiar. He looked past the fence towards the east and he saw a large green hill, blocking his view.
"..are we there yet?" whimpered GIR.
"No GIR, not yet....hmm perhapsssssss, if we go ...up THERE*pointing at the hill* we STILL can see even further...and with my....aaawwwwwwAWESOME POWERS of INCREDIBLE EYESIGHT, we may still be able to find our way back...HOME."
"MERRY CHRISTMAS!" squealed GIR.
Zim's clutched GIR tightly as his spider legs pulled him over the fence and onto the wet dewy grass. GIR cheered. Zim thrust off his silly disguise. "I doubt I will be needing THIS any longer. We're soooooo closssse to home we needn't..BOTHER." He sat atop GIR and GIR put his rocket jets on and flew Zim up the steep hill. When they got to the top, Zim jumped onto his feet and darted a quick look to his sides to check for anyone who might notice him. Nothing...just a bunch of trees, a tire swing on one of them, some old rotting broken picnic tables, thick weeds, nothing special. Zim realized it was beginning to drizzle...and drizzle hard! Unwilling to get burnt, blistered, and wet, he pulled GIR over under the large tree with the tire swing. He left GIR sitting in the tire while he listened. The rain only grew more and more thick, and Zim began to become utterly miserable. This was NOT his lucky day. Thunder rumbled far off in the distance and a pale light flashed, that made his eyeballs wither in pain. Zim, who had never seen lightning nor heard thunder, had absolutely NO idea what it was,and reacted in awe.
"ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! EVILLL! EEEEEVILLL!!!"
Was this (like rain,) some other type of horrible type of meteorolgy these humans posessed, or had it meant something else much more significant??...or perhaps nothing significant at all, perhaps a meteor had simply struck the earth or maybe it was a comet...Zim waited for the big flash to happen again. It didn't. Zim breathed a sigh of releif. A dark thick storm cloud covered the moon enveloping Zim's surrondings...apparently, his AWESOME POWERS of INCREDIBLE EYESIGHT did not work so well in pitch blackness. Or maybe it was since he got his eyeballs burnt to a crisp, when he stared at the sun and they just weren't adjusted yet to being without his contacts. The rain poured down harder, so Zim took a step back farther against the tree trunk. The familiar horrible song of the children had once again pounded and pounded through his skull......like so many times before..
'We love rain! We love Rain! splash splash splash!! FUN FUN FUN! RAIN RAIN RAIN! WE LOVE RAIN! WE LOVE RAIN! SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH! fUN FUN FUN! Rain Raaiiin Raaaaaiiiiin......'
Zim shuddered for a moment, and gulped twice. Then he snapped. "MAAAAAAADNESSSSSS!!! AIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!"
Suddenly....
~~CRRRRRRRRAAAAAACK!! BBOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!~~~
"AACKKKKK!!!" shrieked Zim, but his shrieks suddeny died away in the third flash...again...and again..the thunder rolled and crashed. Zim's large eyes widened in awe, and wonder, for in that brief moment, that tiny split nano-second between blinding light and blinding darkness, he saw someone...was it??? COULD IT BE???? No....he couldn't DARE get his hopes up, not after the day he had just been having, but still....
".....youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu........"
* * * * *
Johnny reread his newly written Die-ary entry with sad and tired admiration.
DEAR DIE-ARY,
THE PASSIONS THAT DRIVE US SHOULD BE THE ONES WE RESPECT AND ADMIRE. TO FEEL CONTEMPT FOR ONE'S OWN MOTIVATION IS A VULGAR THING. TOO OFTEN IT SEEMS I'VE SUCCMBED TO LESS THAN ADMIRABLE COMPULSIONS DRIVEN BY THIS RIDICULOUSLY REPREHENSIBLE MACHINE OF MINE. SO MANY THINGS INSIDE THAT I CAN DO WITHOUT-DESIRES AND WHATNOT. SO EXTRANEOUS. BY THE TIME I WRITE IN THIS BOOK AGAIN, I HOPE TO BE AS COLD AS THE MOON THAT LIGHTS THIS PAGE.
Gloomily overlooking the city lights Johnny recalled when he had a few weeks ago he had sat here, with the only decent human being he could remember ever being in contact with, in this exact same spot with the exact same car, on the exact same planet...She......the one that got away....it all could've spared him this, this ridiculous torment he had thrust himself into..He was about to jump off, when suddenly...
"youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu......."
~FLASH!!!!! CRAAACK, BOOOOOOOM!~
Johnny looked up. Someone...someone was there? Who? Who could posibly be here to torment him one last time before he passed into the next life?? He knew who it would be. Some stupid teenage couple that's who. They had seen him and remembered him from bad past experiences...funny. Nny couldn't remember when he had ever set one of his captives free, anytime recently, nor of anyone of them escaping.....at least none to HIS knowledge...which at the moment was still hazy anyway so it made little difference to him. He still wasn't sure if what he had seen was the REAL heaven or hell, or God nor Satan. It'd all come back to him once he finished what he started. But first, to take care of some other unfinished business. Johnny pulled out a large knife which glinted in the darkness. Johnny smiled maniacly. 'Just one last time..' he thought. 'one last time. This will be the most beautiful of all my masterpieces, my magnum opus....yesssssss..' No nail impailed rabbit spoke any protests within his mind this time...had he simply given up on him? Or did he ever exist to begin with?? Or maybe...maybe it was a sign...a sign of farewell, a sad dismal, I-will-miss-you-even-though-you-were-a-jerk sign. Johnny stopped. No. Guilty feelings were not going to ruin his last day on earth. Johnny took out a second dagger and continued towards the invisible speaker...
* * * * * *
The silhouette's quick and agile movements proved to Zim his correct hypotheisis..
"but..it couldn't be..surely it was just another invader, or some messenger?? If it WAS a message it must be REALLy important, and REALLY Top-secret GIR!! Look at the SIZE of him!! WHy he looks like(DARE I SAY IT!?) the ALMIGHTY TALLEST?? Oh........GIR........this......this is the HAPPIEST, MOST PLEASENTLY SQUISHY, MORE OUTRAGEOUSLY GOOEY, MOST DELICIOUSLY tender DAY of my ENTIRE lifespannn!!!! Eeehhh! eeeheeeheeehee!! GASP, I say...GASP! EGAD!(he SAYS GASP)oh gosh, why oh gosh didn't I come ohhhhh gosh prepared for oh gosh this gosh!?! Here I am an utter mess!! I've got to look DECENT! GIR! GIR?? GIR are you listening to me???"
GIR was hanging on the tireswing with his mouth wide open collecting rainwater gargling. Zim shrugged.
The dark figure approached him, its wide grin gleaming in the darkness. Zim squinted. His eyes still were weak from gazing into the sun, although he'd never admit it to himself.
"My.....My...My MAGNUS! MY DARK SAVIOUR.......oooooOOOOOOooooo....." Zim's antennae drooped and his eyes grew wider and wider and wider. The figure suddenly erased its smile and hesitated. It scratched its head...it's 'antennae' twiched in the shadows. Zim fell to his knees and grovelled. "My MASTER....oh wait.....you must be a messenger..ARE YOU MY MASTER!? PLEASE do not tell me you are and thou speakst naught but lies, for then thou shall sufferth a tortured DEATH beyond comparison...
OH! I am SOO SORRY!! Please forgive my rude impudence and unforgivable unacceptable ways. I am just......I cannot beleive they have sent you...or did you send yourself...? SPEAAAK!!! SPEAK YOU VILE THING!!!" The figures eyebrows narrowed, and he stopped hovering over Zim, he raised himself to his full height. He stared down at him, but how Zim wondered. What kind emotion did he express?? It was to dark to tell. His eyes hurt too much. As the being raised itself, Zim's antenae dropped even further....It..It was so.....BIG! He had seen bigger humans before but this..this surely HAD to be one of the Almighty, or at least the one clostest in size to them!! And why was it so silent? "ooooooooOOOOO!" cried Zim. 'this....this must be REALLLYYYYYY seeeeeeeeecreeeeeet yeeeeeeeeeeeeessssssss hehehe!!' he thought to himself crying out in shock, and respect.
He gaped at the dark figure in admiration. He knew what that flashing and rumbling had must've meant NOW.
* * * * * *
Johnny was completely baffled. He could tell it wasn't a couple, and he didn't recognize the kid as one of his prisoners. It was about as tall as Squee, and why did he grovel like that?? Maybe he was mocking his height...yes, so many had before. Calling him a tall skinny faggot and the like..yet...this one seemed different for some reason. Either the kid was from the mental hospital or he was an effing good actor. There was a strange lump on his back, was he a hunchback? No...it seemed more of a backpack shape......still it was too dark too tell and he wasn't close enough.
'Should I find out who.........or what this guy is?? Then kill him?' pondered Johnny. 'Or maybe I can kill him THEN examine him....I don't know.............' Nny hadn't ever killed any kids before...at least any younger than 6 anyway, as far as he could remember...and it took a great level of angst to make him reach that level with children. He felt children were lucky, the only things that made them jerks were the goddamn stupid traits their parents had passed on to their offspring, such as prejudice, stupid blind ignorance, the idea that one should blend in with society, the idea that one must give up things, things that were close to the heart, rip out and spit on their childhood youth, energy and innocence and fill up their brains with useless sludge, like they were tuna cans on a conveyer belt of life. In the end all of them were dropped off into the deep dark dank box, and.....shipped away. It didn't matter what kind of tuna was in em.....they were just shipped away. Everyone is like that.......interesting analogy. If I wasn't here to GET shipped away, I might've written a very interesting philosphy book
'....heh. I am funny..' he thought.
Still. WHat on EARTH could this strange creature BE?? 'I wish I had a BrainFreezy right about now...' Johnny thought and thought, and puzzled and puzzt, till his puzzler was sore...
'oh, how I HATE these moral dillemas...'
.............Meanwhile........
A dark small silhoutte was backed up behind a tree. It was on the lower far eastern side of the hill, and was hidng behind one of the trees in the fields. The shadow kid glanced up at the two...no 3 figures up on the hill...One was this really tiny one and it was on the tire swing, it had to be GIR...and OH NO! WHo Was THAT!!?? Could it be........ANOTHER IRKEN???!! No wait...it just looked like a person who had antennae.....perfectly normal indeed! ANd it was holding a knife or two, that's nothing out of the ordinary.....CLUTCHING A KNIFE?! Oh well...it mattered little to him anyway. Perhaps......perhaps the person was after-
"Zim......" whispered Dib maliciously. "Better watch your STEP Ziiiiiiimmmmm......yesssss..mwa!..mwa!...MWAHAHAHAAAAAA!! EEP!...poop." Dib quickly covered his mouth and chuckled. 'Oh......I wish I had a Brainfreezy right about now...'
"Zim......heh heh heh heh heh..."
* * * * * *
Zim suddenly felt something very close by. He didn't know why but he suddenly felt uneasy.....
"Excuse me please" said Zim looking around. '.......Its DIB! I KNOW it! I can smell that little bacteria covered ape creature a lightyear away...'
" Its just that there's a little someone I whom I preferrably desire to be DEAD at the moment, and I must keep an eye out for..HIIMMMM."
At the word 'dead' Nny's eyes lit up. At least he'd not have to deal with guilt in THIS case. Here he'd be killing 2 birds with one stone, not only did he get to have fun without feeling the guilt, but he got to do a good deed as well!
Suddenly GIR whispered in a little singsong way.
"Zim likes diiib, ziim liikes diiiiiib, ziiiim liiiikess diiiiib-"
"QUIET GIR!!! I must have absolute siiiiillennncee."
GIR whooped and whislted. Then he whined. "Zim, I wanna be in time for my TV show!! Ostrich!!" he cried pointing at the tree he saw Dib hiding behind.
"QUIET GIR!! I'm looking for Diiiiiib.........AHAAAA! There he is..." he hissed angrilly, grinding his zipperlike teeth together. "OOOOOOOH!! DIB! RUN RUN RUN RUN DIB! YES! RUN LIKE A MONKEY BABY, HAAA! DIB!!! DIIIIIB!oooooooooooooooooo, IHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOUIHATEYOU!!!! HA!! stupid humans, they don't know left from right, isn't that right my master?? Sigh...if only I had the chance, I could rip out Dib's organs again. Oh don't you just HATE the human race??"Zim said happily up at Johnny. Johnny blinked a few times in the dark and lifeted an eyebrow. This kid DEFINITLY had issues..he sounded JUST LIKE him, and that is a BAD sign.
GIR squeaked. "zim, why do you hate Dib? I like Dib. He smells like zuchinnis and cheeeeeese!"
"Iiiiiiiiii HAaaaaaaate Hiiimmmmmmm. I wish he were DEAD!!!" he shrieked hopping up and down on his tiny legs. "always ruining my schemes and messing up my plans ooooooh IHATEHIMIHATEHIM! Of all the poopybrained humans HE had to be the one who knows my seeeeeeecret...."groweld Zim gnashing his teeth. He didn't notice Johnny had silently skulked over to his car to get something, but like we said before, it was DARK, and also the effects from gazing at the sun still had an effect on his eyes.
Johnny silently walked and took a striped pair of arrows and his bow. He sure had fun with them before, on that alchohlic guy who had the KICK ME sign he had attached...OH what FUN! Johnny wickedly laughed out loud inside his car and chuckled to himself when he got out.
"Master? Tallest?? My Tallest what are you doing??" asked Zim inquisitively. He strutted over, tripped over a tree root and fell in a rainpuddle. He was out of range from the trees large branches and rain water splattered on his body. He screamed and wailed and his skin festered. Johnny tilted his head, and grew worried. 'What a weird skin condition this kid has' he thought. He threw a squished tube of Bactine into Zim's blistering hands.
"AaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKKK!!!-HUH, what's this?-AAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!!!!"
Johnny needed to concentrate on his target, so he made a "SSHHH!" movement, by putting a very long and very bony finger to his mouth. Silently, he made a movement between his hands as if he were unscrewing some sort of invisble bottle then rubbing them together. Zim got the point, and began rubbing the bactine all over his hands. It made them sting even more.
"YAAAAAAAAAAARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
But the blistering ceased. Wiping mud off his hands and uniform, he strutted back into the shadows and safety of the tree. He watched as Nny pulled the bowstring and....TWAAAAANGGG!!
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Zim was gritting his little hands deep into the tree trunk and glancing into the pouring rain for any sign of Dib, holding his breath, daring not to let his goo circulate until he knew whether or not the arrow had pierced Dib's filthy human flesh....
* * * * * *
Dib was breathing really really fast. He wondered what that.....THING was doing. It looked like.....an ARROW? "What? NOBODY uses arrows, except for m-maybe s-some kind of crazy, crazed, Homicidal Maniac crazy p-person...........HAHAHA!!!" cried Dib laughing nervously. Suddenly,
'......what the? '
HE WAS AIMING STRAIGHT AT HIM!!! Dib screamed bloody murder and ducked and slipped and fell flat on his face. He screamed and slid straight on a a huge mud puddle right under the tree. If it wasn't for the extra bit of friction the puddle gave him, his back would be exactly where the arrow was right now sticking in the muddy ground. Dib's eyes widened in fear and he hollered.
"ZIM! IF YOU CAN HEAR ME, I JUST WANNA TELL YOU THAT YOUR LITTLE FRIEND MISSED ME BYA MILE SO HAHA!! HOW DO YOU LIKE THAT YOU STUPID ALIEN?! LONG LIVE THE HUMAN RACE!! YOU'LL NEVER CONQUER THE WORLD, SO LONG AS DIB UNEXPLAINED IS STILL AROUND TO SAVE IT!! FAREWELL ZIM! I'm going to.... go and.......run some moreawayfromyourcrazyfriendwhoseemstobeaiminganotherarrowatme,BYEEE!!!!" Dib leaped and tripped over a root, he flipped and rolled over. Johnny's second shot went straight through his head!
.....Well through his HAIR anyway. Dib fainted. When he did he rolled down the side of the hill and that brought him back to painful conciousness.
"oooh......" he moaned. He pulled the arrow out of his hair in a daze. With that he rushed off clutching the arrow in his left hand.
" AIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" he cried.
"WELL WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOUR TALLNESS?! SHOOT HIM! SHOOT HIM SHOOOOOOT HIIIIM!!"
Johnny shook his head, and pointed at the empty arrow quiver. "Oh......you're out.... I seeeee...hmm. Oh well. Leaves room for ME to get him...anyway."
"Your highness I have began an all extensive investigation of this planet's FIIIIIIIILTHHYYY inhabitants and they have more weakness's than they have organs. They're so obliteratingly STUPID that they- hey how come when YOU get wet you don't burn up?? I don't see any disguises on you(Heck I can't see ANY of you.), and whenever I wear MY disguise I still get blisters upon my blistered blisters....so then......HEY! And why is there only ONE of you anyway? Where is RED!?.....or Purple, I don't which one YOU are.....and why all the silence??? TALK TO MEEEEEEEE! I MUST KNOOW WHO ARE YOUUUUUUU!!?" Johnny gasped. Zim fell to his knees and whimpered. "I am as fiiiiiiiiiiilthyyyyy as the humans now for have saying those DREADFUL vile FILTH dripping words of most horrilble dripping......well...FILTH. I must hold my spleeches and watch what I say from now on. I see that you are not the almighty tallest, for surely the other one.........of YOU, would've arrived plus a grand procession, but most all what makes my eyes unfog the deception, was the fact you ALLOWED me to LIVE to say those vile dripping filthy words of filthy filthyness. However I will not dwindle my utmost respects to you for you seem of utter importance, due to your well.........TALLNESS. So speak my good comrade, and TEELLLLL MEEEEE, what news you may bring upon the large oversized head of this mighty and bold Irken Invader ZIM?? I ORDER YOU TO SPEAAAK!!" Johnny said nothing but gaped at him in the darkness..
* * * * * * **
No......there was no way.....the idea was utterly ridiculous and laughable. An ALIEN?? HERE!? TALKING TO HIM!? And what seemed to be the most funny factors of all was that this......"ALIEN"could speak perfect english, and second it seemed to be amazed at his tallness, and refered to him as just that. It had called him MASTER. Johnny did NOT like this at ALL. He knew what it was like....to be enslaved. What exactly it had wanted he did not know nor really care. The main thing was he despised humantiy too, and he LIKED THAT. Oh yes. This guy HAD to be examined first THEN killed. Nny couldn't beleive he had thought he actaully thought he was communicating with an alien. NO alien could POSSIBLY be STUPID enough to want to take over THEIR stupid wasteball of a planet...Reaching out a groping hand he thought 'I MUST FIND OUT what makes you tick...you..you're too much kid, just too much.,..just like ME!..' perhaps it was some freakish supernatural crossing that made him meet his past childhood self??? Like in 'The Youth' by Dizzy Pictures Studios....Johnny couldn't remember. 'Had my hair ALWAYS been this way?' he thought noticing the dark outline of Zim antennae in the pouring rain. 'Was I that short when I was young? Man I grew. DID I have a talking dog? I can't remember..I can't remember anything..' Johnny pulled out his knives and snatched Zim by the hand. He was wearing...GLOVES?! Yes...that was something Johnny DID remember...he had ALWAYS worn the gloves...ALWAYS. He looked at his other hand. Yes, still there. Johnny grinned. Then he grew nervous. If..IF.....maybe if he killed his PAST self....did that mean his future self would not exist??? What an interesting experiment this was going to be!
* * * * * *
"HEY!!! LET GO OF ME!" yelled Zim. The moisture from the rain wiped off Nny's gloves and onto his arm, which made it crackle and pop. "OWWW!! OWOWOWOW! YOU ARE HURTING MEEEE! ACCCCCCKKKK!!! STOP!! I COMMAND YOU TO STOP THIS VERY SECOND YOU WORTHLESS BLITHERING BUFFOON LIKE.....THING!!! I HAVE NO CARE IF YOU ARE ANOTHER IRKEN INVADER I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU TAKE ME OUT IN THIS WEATHER! I AM VERY SENSITIVE TO ANY FORMS OF H2O, AND-...... ROBOT ARM!!!!!! ROOOOOOOBOOT ARMMMMM! MOMMYYYYYYY MOMMMMMY HELPPPPP I'M BEING CAPTURED, HELPPPPPPP MEEE MY ROBOT ARM MOMMYYYYYY ACCCCCCCCCCCK!!!!"
GIR clapped his hands and whistled 'London bridges Falling Down."
"RRRRRRG!! HELP me GIR!! GIR! MOVE!"
GIR whistled a happy "yessir, rightaway Master!" and rushed to his aide. GIR put out his rocket jets and waited for Zim to board him. "gET oN mASteR!" he whistled in a strange pitch. "I-I CAAAAANT!! WHo ever this......GUY is, he is dragging me back!! HELP! I-I think he's some kind of replacement!! OH NO! That can't be truuuuuuuue!!! I wanna stay here and conquer the humans FIRST! Lemme go!!! NOOOOOO!" And THEN.
~~CRAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKK!!! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!!!~~
Zim's eyes widened in utter fear, as did Nny's. Johnny released Zim's tiny hand and gazed back at him when everything plunged again into darkness...
~~ CRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACKKKKKK!!!!~
Zim saw him, for the first time..at least a little bit, the lightning and thunder had starlted him and he wasn't ready for it...WHY oh why, did he have stare at the sun so hard!? A piece of dead skin shrivelled up inside his eye and he had to wipe it out, but with little success except in getting his hands all sticky..
He blurrily made out a cold eyed, dark-haired, dark attired, very tall, very lean very sickly looking, very deranged looking, squinty eyed, yet large thick eyebrows..the resemblance between this person and Dib was very striking. If Dib had shaved his head into two 'antennae' like parts, and grew only 6 times in size,...............
~~BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM!!!~~~
* * * * * * *
Johnny's heart stopped. Had...had he actually SEEN what he THOUGHT he saw?! No. It HAD to be the light. It just HAD to be, there was no possible way the kids skin was GREEN..and if he WAS an alien, it was too bizarre. A little green bug. How traditional. How unoriginal. There was no possible way it was an alien...perhaps he was some tranvestite midget who just happened to have gone down the drain even further than Johnny had, and so, in his large hatred for mankind for ridiculing him on his height decided to dress like that, telling himself and the world out of comfort that he was NOT one of THEM?? Johnny's head spun. This was too abstract and surreal, there wasn't any proper explantation for this, unless someone had slipped a VERY bad thing in his Brainfreezy drink last night, which could've been possible...
And he was feeling very strange that night. Perhaps it was some crazy relapse from lack of some exterior mind-control force, like the Doughboys or Reverend MEAT. First utter depression(he was about to kill himself) then manicness and greed(his attempting to kill this Zim fellow even before he really got to know him,) then the desire to do good deeds out of some sort of twisted sympathy(killing Dib) and now he was thinking about his past self and even beginning to doubt his existence. This whole thing could just be a hallucination, just a sad, sick sick dream. He hated sleep, for putting him through questionable torment and things of the like. Surely.......
~~CRAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!~~~......NO. This wasn't a dream.
~~BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMM~~
It.....it was.....not human. Johnny's eyes widened and he crossed his arms and shook his head in an utterly stupified manner. But he said nothing, and he did not show it very much. Not that he was trying to keep his head, (he always wound up losing his temper in the end, if there was no brainfreezys or TV nearby)his face just lately had a way of only being cold and emotionless. He liked it that way, the colder the better, just like Mr.Samsa. In fact this......THING...bore a strange cartoony resemblance to Mr.Samsa...
'Only I don't think Mr. Samsa would be such a friggen blabbermouth and I don't think he's got a special goofy dog sidekick...thing.' Either way.....Johnny pitied it...or despised it, he didn't know quite WHICH to feel, it was annoying him with it's noises....
* * * * * * *
"GASP!!!" cried Zim. "I was riiiiiiiight....they HAVE sent someone to replace me..he MUST be far better than I am,.....perhaps it is someone who is a far better invader? I mean...look at the guy, he's silent and mysterious, he'd probably outgrow the Tallest in a couple of months....this mission perhaps they find it SO secret and SO dangerous that even leaving ME(despite being an Invader as CUNNING and SKILLED as I am, of course)would be a flaw, a MISTAKE?? Oh....." Zim sighed. "If only I...I had some sort of sign, yessss, so kind of SIGN that told me you are NOT the one to plague this twirling sphere of MADNESS with DOOM for its DOOMED empires...TELL ME!!! GIVE ME A SIIIIIIIGN!"
~~CRAAAAAAAAAAACK!! BOOOOOM! ~~
Zim cried out again. He saw him much clearer this time now!
"Egad!!!" cried out Zim. "Why.....you.....YOu're disguise is AMAZING!!!!!!!! you.....my maaaaaaaagnuuuuuus........" he muttered. "Uh.....excuse.....erm..." he said chocking back.
"Squeeeeeee....." he squealed, backing against the tree. The Irken was coming for him, and it was holding up a KNIFE! "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!
~~CRAAAAAAACK! BOOOM!!!~~ The lightning revealed a deranged grin as Johnny moved in for the kill. Rain water dripped from his antenae shaped hair and jacket as he lunged foward.
" AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCHKKKKKKKKK!!!" screamed Zim in utter terror. He fainted. And just in the nick of time. Johnny's knife planted itself firmly in the thick trunck of the tree. Johnny stared. It'd be unfair to just well-stab him in the back, like that, if he was unconcious, Nny always allowed his victims to savor that last bit of fear before their impending DOOM was upon them and had pierced their bodies. He'd just wait till Zim came to.
Suddenly.......
"Hi there! What's YOUR name?! Mongoose!"
Johnny wheeled around. It was the DOG. The DOG talked?? No wait......NOW it was taking off its SKIN.....revealing......a ROBOT?? A robot with cute blue eyes. Oh well. So Johnny WAS dreaming after all. Shoot, this was going to be such an interesting experiment too, there was no point in enjoying himself, if he was only going to be crushed in the end whenever he came back to reality.
* * * * * * *
"My name is Johnny,but you can call me 'Nny' for short. And who might YOU be???" he said smiling happily. He squatted down on the wet ground waiting for a response.
GIR's eyes flashed red and said "GIR reporting for duty!!" His eyes returned to their original blue.
"I like you ninny, do u have any sandwiches???"
"mmm......no i don't think so.. I've not eaten anything in well, days, I've been trying to eliminate all basic human needs for myself.."
"Oh.."said GIR a bit dissapointed. then he grinned. "What DO you have then??"
Johnny thought for a moment. At least this robot was polite.
"Hmmmmm......" he pondered scratching his pointy chin thoughtfully smiling.
"I happen to have a nice batch of corpses in the back trunk, wanna see?"
"EWWWWWWW! Icky sticky yuckety POOH!! Ninny gross guy!!!"
"I thought not......well.....there ARE some shiny objects I keep at home..."
"SHiiiiiiiinnnnnnneeeee objecccccccts???" said GIR in a very slow motion sort of way.
"Actually, since several previous usages of them they may not be so shiny any MORE, but I can wash em' when I get home...would you like to go home with me??"
"OOOOOOH! The Ninny has shiny objects for me to play with! And yes, I wanna go home and watch the TV, the Scary Monky show is on very soon. Me an' Zimmy wanna go Home, Mr. Ninny you're so NICE I wuv you!!!" GIR hugged Johnnys tall skinny legs with adorable affection.
"Awww....that's so cute..." sighed Johnny."Almost as cute as Nailbunny was before I......well......hmm...NAILED him to the wall you see. I only got to feed him once."
"OH." said GIR not quite caring, nor seeing the warning in this.
"So are you coming to my house or what??" asked Johnny paitently.
"Ummmmm......I don't know if Zim would like that...he wants to go to OUR housey house you see, its this reeeeeeallllly itsy bitsy house with these leprachaun people and funny bunnys and these neat TUBEY thingys sticking out all over the place.....oh and its green."
Johnny knew what he was probably talking about, it was the really really tiny house that 'magically' popped up last Saturday. Perhaps this was all some sort of bizzarre connection, along with his destiny, like the Wall thing?? Who knew. It seemed a LOT nicer this time though. Johnny smiled and grabbed the unconciuos Zim's hand and dragged him through the wet grass. The rain had finally ended, and the wetness of the grass pained Zim enough to wake him up.
"ooooooohhh......" moaned Zim feebly. He was in too much pain at the moment, and he felt quite sick to tell the truth. He moaned and wailed and shrieked with pain from the wet grass, but he did not put up a good struggle, as it only got him more wet. The dark storm clouds soon lifted and the pale moonlight revealed Nny altogether. Zim had been right! It was a replacement, and it was trying to prove to him how much more efficent he was, how he could resist the petty attributes of Earthly water and HE could not. Zim whimpered. He felt utterly miserable. Johnny carried Zim and thrust open the car door. He shoved Zim inside and slammed the door, not to scare Zim but because he was frustrated at this dream already, it had been annoying enough. Perhaps if he got rid of this...THING in a proper manner, it'd all go away..he motioned silently for GIR to get in. GIR squealed and leaped right onto Zim's stomach.
"OOOFF AAAAACK!!!!! GIR GET THE HECK OFF ME!!!" he howled shoving GIR off. GIR stuck his tongue out at Zim and obeyed. Johnny suddenly thrust the pedal and they sped off at 20......40...........60........70!.......90 miles an hour!!! He was going right off the cliff!!!
"YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAEHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed everyone, including Johnny who was sort of cackling insanely, and screaming in terror at the same time which by the way, is VERY hard to do, and must not be practiced around small children.
GIR squealed with delight as the car did a barrel roll. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" howled Zim, holding for dear life to the passenger seat.
The car landed on its wheels with a CRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAASSSHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! right into the junk yard down below.
Gasping with fear Zim messily heaved himself up out of the rubble.
'It seems I'm still alive...' thought Johnny miserably. 'well, here we go again.......oh well!!!'
"MWAAAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!" he crowed with delight.
"MWAAAAAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" screeched GIR imitating him, and doing a pretty good job too.
Johnny drove on out of the junkyard and leaving a pile of rubble and hubcaps, streaked on through the fence, and into the street. Luckily it was 4 in the morning now so there wasn't any cars. The car screeched and left burning tire tracks, as they sped off down south.
15 minutes later......
The car screeched to a stop in front of a run down shack, with no grass for a fron lawn only dirt. It was tiny compared to all the other houses, and the windows were boarded up. The door had a sign posted on it which read "Knock on me. You just TRY it...." And the doorbell said......"I am the doorbell."
"hmmmmmm......."thought Zim. "This guy may have a better disguise than I do, but his home is inferior, HAH!! LOOK at its stupid.......stupidness! One may as well just hang an 'I Love Earth' sign on his door! HEEHEE!........" Zim checked himself, then piped down.
"But......this isn't my-"
Johnny gave him I-know-that-quite-well-and-your-gonna-wish-it-wasn't, kind of look.
"Eeeeeee......." whimpered Zim. Nny grabbed Zim by his feet and dragged him from the car.
"WHOOOOOOHOOOOO!! Shinee objects, shiny objects, we're gonna play with shiny objects!!!" he sang skipping down the walkway.
"AAUGHHHHHH!!!" cried Zim clawing the pavement and dirt with his hands, leaving trails as Johnny dragged him closer to the door.
"Please oh please oh please have mercy on me!!!!!!!!! I....I am too YOUNG to die! I'm to NICE to die!!! I'm too ME to DIEEEEEEE WAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHH!! Help meeeeeee robo arm, oh by some crazy stupid miracle just get me OUTTA here with my head still attcahed to my neck and my splorches in their right places, and my skin membrane not pierced, and-and-and...AND!!! OH SOMEBODY HEEEEEEEEEEEELPPPPPP!!!!!!"
GIR stared dumbly at Zim. Then his eyes narrowed, and he marched over to Johnny who by now had sucessfully dragged Zim to the porch, and his hand was on the knob.
"Ex-scoooooooooooooooz meeeeeee mister Ninny person...." said GIR tugging on Johnny's black jacket.
Johnny glared down angrilly at GIR. GIR's eyes returned to their normal shape.
"Uh ummmmmmmm, would you please be so kind as to let Master go? We didn't take over Earth yet, and I'm gonna miss my shooooooow, so please let him go?? I'll pway with your shiny objects tomorrow okee?"^_^
Johnny's angry look faded into a sad smile. He sighed, then nodded. Releasing Zim roughly, Zim plopped onto the concrete floor with a THUD. Groaning, he rubbed some gravel off him eyes and drooled, while staring at the pink sky.
"ohhhhhhhhh........mmmmmm......owwwwwww......." he moaned. Johnny picked Zim up by the collar which made him gag, and threw him through the car window with a tinkling crash, upside down into the back seat. Following his example, GIR leaped through the passenger window, into the seat next to the steering wheel headfirst. "Wheeheheeeeeeeee! Thats was fun doitagain,doitagaindoitagain,doitagaindoitagain,WHEE!!!"
Zim's head began leaking a bit of redissh goo on his hands as he bled. Clutching the side of his swollen jaw, he shut his eyes tightly and rubbed his head with his left hand.
Johnny thrust open the door and stepped in, bending his very long legs squating down in the puny car. He gritted his teeth, and swerved the car out into the street and sped on down through the Dead end street.
"Ex.....Excuse me........but this is a.....WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
They whooshed on through the white fence the Dead end sign smashed to bits. The top part that said 'DEAD' in large black letters plowed through the passenger window and hit Zim in the face.
Zim held it up, and turned it rightside up.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" he screamed tossing it away and shivering.
Johnny plowed his way through several flower beds, fences and nearly ran over a squirrel who was slightly hypnotized by the large headlights on his car, then knocked over 5 garbage cans with a loud clatter, which probably woke up half the neighborhood.
At last they pulled up in front of Zim's house.
"HOMMMMMMMMMMMMME!!!!!!" gasped Zim then he fainted.
* * * * * *
They slowly pulled up in front of Zim's house.(Oh wait I said that, nevermind.....)
Zim shuddering and trembling and shaking, chattered his teeth as he slowly and timidly pulled himself together. Zim nodded thankfully. It was NOT one of the Tallest, it was just another plain Irken. Still whether he had a rival or a message, he did not know and he honestly didn't care either. He apparently was QUITE capable of more than just KILLING him. As soon as he set one pointy booted foot onto the sidewalk him ZOOOOOOOOMED screaming his daylights out, and rushed so fast he banged into the door and knocked himself out again. The door opened slowly and the parent bots stuck their freaky heads out. "Welcome home son,..."they droned.
GIR hopped out of the car and waved a happy little goodbye to Johnny.
"Thank you mister Ninny. I wuv you!!" He hugged Johnny's legs as he lurched himself out of the car.
Johnny grinned. It was such a cute little hallucination, it was so sad that he didn't have the heart to rip it open and hang it over on the doorknob. It was...pathetic.
Johnny glowered and stared down the dark highway avoiding eye contact. Then he gazed up at the sky. He still didn't wake up yet. Nuts.
"Here..."he growled.
He looked over his shoulder as he handed GIR a ripped, battered, muddy, burnt, smoking, raggy scrap of what was left of his dog costume.
"Ooooooh...THANK YOU!" said GIR. He suddenly gazed up at a silhoutted Johnny.
"Ninny...will........will we ever meet each other again??"
Johnny stared at GIR. Then he stared at the sky again. He sighed.
"Probably not."
"Oh." sadly, whispered GIR. He was very dissapointed.
"But it has been nice talking to ya. Pooh., its such a shame.......Heh.
.....Now run along and amscray, you little scamp."
GIR trotted off humming the Doom song to himself and waved one last goodbye from the porch as he watched Johnny sulkily drag himself over to the car. Rolling down the window, Johnny stuck a real long arm and he waved a silent goodbye as he screeched the tires to the right and dissapeared into the shadows.
'This little meeting of ours.....' thought Johnny. 'it really makes me think of someone.....someone I.......SQUEEGEE! THAT'S IT!! I haven't seen Squee in so long!'
"Okay Squeezy, here I commmmmme!!" he sang as he varoomed down the dark concrete street.
"WWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAH!! RAHAHAAAAAAAA!!!":D
* * * * * *
^"......Zim's Log:: Wendsday 1:49 AM.
I beleived I had encountered one of the almighty Tallest. I still am unsure exactly WHO or WHAT he was, but all I can say is his disguise is AMAZING. He doesn't even fester when encountered with water molecules. I have NO idea who he is.........but I prooooomisse.................if he is planning to conquer this puny ball of waste, even if he IS one of the Tallest...........I sweeeeeeeeeeear, he will have to answer to ME first. I WILL NOT LET THEM HAVE THIS PLANET, WITHOUT MY CONSENT.
"WE."
"WILL."
"MEET."
"AGAIN."
.................................Zim out"^
With that, Zim began to maniacly laugh. GIR accompanied him and their shrieking cries of impending DOOM echoed throughout the dark skies............
"DWWWWWWWOAOAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!" :D"HA!"
THE END.
.....????
:D
::Dib bursts through the sign saying the above:::
"NOOO!! IT IS NOT THE END DO YOU PEOPLE HEAR ME!?? I mean, its the end of the SHOW of course, but, HEY!!!!! HEY!! Hey, I STILL intend to capture Zim, and when I do the WORLD will know of his evil plots, he's NOT going to get away with this! LOOK at you people READING this when you(like me) should be out there stopping this, this, MADNESS, this horrible ordeal, and-LOOK AT YOU!!! HEY!!!
:: the screen begins to close circle on him::
"NO NO NO!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! ZIIIIIIImmmmmmmmmmm!!!!! AAAAAAAAAUHHHH!!"
Gaz's voice screams out.
"DIB GET OVER HERE!!!" Gaz's hand peaks out throught the hole and grabs him by the ear, and pulls him through into the hole.
"OWCH GAZ!!" The hole almost closes. Mad Zim laughter sound effects, and GIR singing the DOOM song. GIR sticks his head out of the hole and touches his forehead, and his eyes turn red, and the hole closes over him, with a large red Irken symbol, an emergency broadcast system noise is inserted.
THE REAL END.