Madam and Missy — A Pride and Prejudice Variation
This is dedicated to all the writers both here and on KU who've released their stories for free! As I enjoy reading them so much, I thought that I'd have a go, and here it is.
[Note that I'm a Brit, so have written with British spelling, punctuation and terminology 😏]
In which Pemberley is readied for visitors
Subtitled: in which the author admits to dissatisfaction with this chapter, too
Pemberley
Lady Anne
An express arrived for Darcy. He opened and took it to his mother's sitting room to read to her and his sister.
"It is from Hurst. He says that Miss Bingley is accompanying them. He is very apologetic but, short of leaving her at an inn along the way, she is coming here although uninvited."
"Richard taught me some curses. May I use one now, Mamma?" Georgiana asked.
"No! You may not," said Lady Anne.
"But, in these circumstances, I think that it is appropriate to mutter them — very quietly — under your breath," said Darcy. "Let us all do so together, then none shall be offended by hearing the others."
After a few moments of very quiet muttering and some giggling, Lady Anne asked, "Did she not learn her lesson at the Matlocks' ball?"
"Obviously not," Darcy sighed.
"Then, this time, I shall make sure that she is in no doubt that she is not to invite herself to Pemberley again."
"What lessons do you have in mind, Mamma?" asked Georgiana, eyes sparkling with anticipation.
"Let me think. What do we have planned? We expect the Hursts in three days, then my brothers and their families on Tuesday and, finally, the Bennets and the Gardiners who are also bringing the Bingleys, that is, Mr. and Mrs. Bingley. Then, on Lizzy's birthday is your big surprise, William, with a dance for all of the tenants and servants in the evening. And the next day we have Jane and Richard's wedding."
"Ooh, I am so excited! Lizzy will be so pleased!" cried Georgiana.
"You must be careful not to spoil it, Georgie," Darcy admonished her.
"I shall not, William. You can rely upon me!"
"I have asked Mrs. Reynolds to ready the dower house for Richard and the new Mrs. Fitzwilliam, as they will not wish to stay here for their honeymoon," Lady Anne continued.
"That is it, Mother!" cried Darcy.
"Their honeymoon?" asked Lady Anne in confusion.
"No, the dower house. If Miss Bingley were to overhear that the dower house was being readied, she would assume that it would be for you — that I am to take a wife!"
"And she would assume — quite naturally," Georgiana interjected mischievously, "that the wife would be herself!"
"Indeed!"
"This must be arranged in great secrecy," Lady Anne said, echoing her daughter's tone. "I shall ask Mrs. Reynolds who are the worst maids for gossip, and tell her to assign them to clean near Miss Bingley's room."
"Will you give her rooms at the far end of the guest wing?" asked Georgiana.
"I think so. Although, as an unmarried woman, she ought not have rooms near to the unmarried men, she should be safe from unwanted attention if we put her next to the Hursts."
"Which unmarried men are staying, Mamma?"
"Your great uncle Darcy— "
"He is no threat to Miss Bingley!"
" —and your cousins, Robert and Richard."
"She is no threat to them! Robert is not her prey while William is ostensibly available, and Richard will be oblivious to all but Jane." Georgiana sighed, rather wistfully.
"Will you put the Imp in an adjoining room to Miss Bingley?" asked a giggling Georgiana.
"Please do not refer to Great Aunt Prudence as the Imp, Georgie!"
"The rest of the family do, Mamma, and she minds not," Georgiana protested, a little sulkily.
"Even so, I do not like to hear you being so disrespectful." Lady Anne looked sternly at her daughter until the latter conceded. "Very well, Miss Bingley to have rooms between the Hursts and Lady Prudence; and the suites in the family wing will be filled with your new sisters and Charity. I was wondering whether the young Miss Gardiners would like to share a room next to yours."
"I am sure that they would feel very grown up," agreed Georgiana.
"Oh, James and Mary ought to be close to the nursery," said Lady Anne with a sigh, looking down at her list.
"Your gossipy maids might also have the news that the mistress' rooms are being prepared for a new mistress."
"Good idea, William. I shall also mention to Mrs. Reynolds that the wedding is to be surprise arranged by special licence, as that is almost the truth."
"Indeed," agreed Darcy with a broad grin.
Lady Anne rang for a footman. "Ask Mrs. Reynolds to bring tea for six. And send Mr. Reynolds and Stevens, too, please."
The butler knocked on the door to admit the housekeeper carrying a tray of tea things. Stevens followed them.
"We would like you to join us, Mrs. Reynolds, Mr. Reynolds, Mr. Stevens. We have some plotting to share with you," said Lady Anne.
Mrs. Reynolds sat where instructed, while the male servants stood behind her.
"I know that I shall not be able to persuade you to sit," said Lady Anne to them, "but you will share tea with me while we scheme."
Sensible of the honour, Reynolds and Stevens accepted cups of tea, while their mistress outlined their plan to deal with their uninvited, unwanted guest. She also reminded them of which guests were arriving when and which rooms they were to have.
"I shall leave it to you whether Miss Martha stays with Misses Melissa, Phoebe and Beatrice in the nursery. As Pemberley will be new to her, she might be happier remaining with her friends at first. This is with the understanding that you all spend time with her whenever your duties allow."
"I thank you, my lady," cried Mrs. Reynolds, speaking for her husband and son-in-law.
"We have a surprise for Mrs. Stevens, too," said Georgiana.
"Indeed, for you, too, Stevens," said Darcy.
"Sir?"
"We have had the rooms immediately above the master and mistress' suites cleared for you and your family. This is a compromise between giving you a cottage on the grounds and sleeping next to my dressing room. There is room for all three of you, and more children," Darcy raised his eyebrows at his valet.
"Sir! I cannot thank you enough!" cried Stevens.
"Do not thank me too soon, Stevens, as your mother and father-in-law are not too far away!"
Mr. Reynolds clapped his son-in-law on his back and looked at him in mock severity.
Lady Anne had already discussed with Mrs. Reynolds all the arrangements necessary for a large party of guests, but went through it again for Reynolds and Stevens.
"Are we all ready for the next few days?" asked Lady Anne.
Her children and the servants nodded.
"Mr. and Mrs. Reynolds, please thank the staff for me. I really do appreciate their hard work, especially when we entertain so many visitors."
"Indeed," Darcy agreed.
Please don't copy!