A small what if on what if Raven stayed with the family and acted like Stevens dad. I put it as a propt but since noone wanted it, one night at work I decided fuck it why not, and my energy drink addled sleeplacking mind conjured this shit. Inspired by Steven He.

It had been a couple of days since the fatefull night and the battle for Haven. Things were rough but manageable, and while there was some time untill they could take the Argus express. They decided to try and raise everyones mood up, too much negativity and the kingdom of Mistrals capital, would fall by atracting too much grimm too fast. And as the academy was damaged and there was a massive lack of huntsmen thanks to the late Leonardo Lionheart. They couldn't afford to be any more negative. And at one point in the middle of the show to raise morale Yang came to the stage. And everyone who knew her sighed sadly knowing terrible puns were about to come.

LISTEN I KNOW THE PREMISE MAKES NO SENSE K? IT AINT HERE FOR IT MAKE ONE IT IS THERE JUST SO I COULD WRITE CRACK-COCAINE COMEDY.

"Sooo I know I may not look like I have mistral origins, being born and raised on a smile island on the coast of Vale." Feeling that a story was coming RWBJNR relaxed a bit as they felt something that wasn't warcrime level torture of Xiao long puns.

"My mother is mistrallian and some of the people with mistrali parents know what I speak of. She was that mistralian parent. You know the type – you must be the best, always putting pressure on me to be better." At this remark many people cheered on. "So I should give you some stories about me growing up with her."

"When I was little maybe like 7 or 8 I started bottering my parents to train me to be a huntress like them…" at this point yang makes her voice high and squeeky "Daddy, mommy can you train me to strong like you?" here her voice became normal again "My dad was happy to train me and all that, but my mother, oooh Raven Branwen had something else to say" here her voice became s abit deeper. "What the haaail you said? When I was your age I had to steal from 5 people every day so I could be trained." Many in the audience started whooping and laughing loudly.

"Other times it could be for something completely normal to me and most people. In most families getting a B in a class it would be normal, noo not in my family." Here her voice became slightly deeper and more mature. "Hooow the daail did you manage to get B in weapon maintenaance? Yoour weapon barely has anything to maintaaain. B stands for Bad, it stands for me geeting the Belt, and going Branwen on yoor ass." Here the blond bombshell becomes squeeky and slightly childlike "Rubys mom has no issues with her getting a B in Close quarters combat." Normal voice again. "Looking back on it now, maybe that was a mistake, because she got a bit mad. I am sorry Rubes for what I will say now"

Deeper voice again. "The haail you said to me? Doo I look like Ruby's mom? Doo I look like a faailure to you? Do I look like I got cucked by a big titty weaaabooo edgeloord? She such aa faailure she got knocked up by my brother, instead of my huuusband at the team reunion swing paarty. If you waaant to be like her you too are faalure." Normal voice again. "Please remember that phrase as she decided it woulld be my new moniker."

While everyone continued laughing she took a breath. Looking at her team leager she saw her cousin crying and laughing at the same time. And when everyone quited down yang continued.

"So my uncle is Qrow branwen and he used to teach in Signal preparatory combat school. But once he was on a mision and somebody had to substitute him. So there we are 2nd year kiddies in Signal. All of us sitting at our desks being good kids, in comes Raven fucking Branwen, I don't know how to say how embarassed I felt in that momment." A deep voice again.

"Heeloo kids, how old are you? 12? When I waas twelve I was alreaady 29. When I waas your agee I had to raid fifteeen villaages eveery day on just one leg uphill both waays. My otheer leg was running a smuggling ring. Toooday I teach you the pythagooras theoorim." Normal voice again"Which was pretty strange since it was grim tactics introduction class but what were we going to do, so there we sit learning how to get te third side of a right traingle and she gives us a quizz on what we just learned!" a sip of water. "How the quizz went I will not talk about, but at the end she goes: "You are aall faailures! Yang don't bother coming home unless you have raided the suplies of ten houses!""

Everybody In the audience was laughing. "Ye, ye laugh all you want. Let me just put it this way, theres a reason I waited until I was out of Vale when I talk about her." Not noticing that everybody in the audience had suddenly gone silent. And a voice she had could never forget said "Maybe if you were not such a faailure, then you would have known to not talk beehind my back!" from behind her, and a hit from a flip-flop to the back of her head.

=O=
Yeah that's about it folks I wanted to put the offbrand series but I lacked the faculties to put it into it;
See you again god knows when!
Leave me prompts in the reviews or the discord channel in the rwby inn: mkQrr9j ;

If I like it I will write it.

Have a good one!