Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8, or any characters therein. The plot for this story is from my own imagination though. YAY Squaresoft!
Author's Note: Okay I know that the prologue was a little lacking in the romance department, but hey, every story needs a start! So here's my attempt at chapter one! Thank you!
All I Really Want
(Chapter One: Goodbye)
Later that day, Xu walked with me back to my dorm. She insisted that she come and talk with me while I packed.
I agreed. It'd be nice to talk to someone while I'm getting ready for my future.
I unlocked my door and opened it. My room seemed different now than it was this morning, maybe a little more foreign. I put my keys on my desk.
"Make yourself at home." I said turning to Xu, "I'll just be a sec."
"Thanks." she said sitting on my bed. I went to my dresser and pulled out my usual outfit. Orange skirt, orange shirt, etc. I left my gloves on the desk and went to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind me, I began to undress. Today was the last day I'll have worn my uniform.... I folded it neatly and placed it on the side of the sink. I pulled on my shirt and skirt and looked at myself in the mirror. It seemed like a stranger was looking back at me. Why, I'm not sure, I just felt strange.
When I emerged from the bathroom, I found Xu flipping through the photo album I had left on my nightstand. She grinned a little as she looked at the pictures.
"I remember when this was taken..." she said holding up the book. I looked closer to see a young me, and a young Xu standing over a fallen grat. Looking at the background, it seemed to be taken in the training center.
"I remember that too.." I said smiling, "That was the first battle I ever won."
Xu smiled, "Yeah. I remember you kept tripping over your whip and crashing into the grat." She started to laugh.
I blushed. I didn't think it was that funny when it was happening though. I think I was only about 12 years old at the time, and I remember how scared I was. My weapons instructor was standing off to the side telling me to dodge, and be more consistent with my attacks. I really hated that guy then, but Xu was there too. She was shouting encouraging words and kept flamboyantly waving her fists around. When I finally managed to kill the thing, I remembered she ran over and kicked it muttering, "Take that!" Killing the monster was part of my exam for my weaponry class, so my instructor told me and Xu to look at the camera, and he took the picture. I got a copy, and a copy went into my file proving I had passed the exam.
"That was a long time ago...." Xu said studying it a little more.
I put my uniform on the bed, "Yeah..." She looked up from the book and looked at me. Her eyes were shiny.
"I'm going to miss you know." she sniffed and wiped her eyes. My heart sank. I didn't want her to cry, I didn't want anyone to cry, especially because of me. I sat down beside her and took her hand.
"Aw c'mon Xu. I'm not going to disappear off the face of the planet. I'll come and visit you, and you can come and visit me. It's not like we'll never see each other again..."
She wiped her eyes again, ".... I know. But you're not going to be 'here' anymore."
I didn't know what to say to that.
She sniffed and looked at the desk, "When are you going to tell the others?"
My eyes widened.... In the midst of everything, I had forgotten about that. How could I? I mean, I faced death with those people, and I forgot about them.... I guess that proves how horrible I am.....
I sighed, "There's still a lot to do. I have a feeling Squall already took care of it anyway...All that's left is to say goodbye...."
I patted her hand and stood up, "I better get going on this stuff." I headed toward my closet and pulled out my suitcases. They were kind of dusty and made me sneeze when I dropped them on the bed.
Xu chuckled, "You haven't traveled much have you?" I laughed awkwardly, "No, I think I've traveled around enough for 20 lifetimes.."
"Oh, that's right." she said blushing, "I wish I could have helped all of you more, with that."
I shook my head and started to pull stuff out of my dresser, "No.....You did just fine. Don't worry about it."
I heard her stand up, "It's getting really late... I'll leave you to your packing." I turned around and looked at her.
"You're leaving?"
She nodded and pointed to the alarm clock, "It's almost nine."
Wow time went by fast. I looked out the window into the night sky. She came over and gave me a hug.
"I'll come and see you tomorrow. Maybe we can have lunch or something." she said into my shoulder. She stood back at arms length.
"Sure, that would great!" I smiled. She smiled back and waved.
"I'll see you tomorrow then." She headed for the door and opened it.
"Bye Xu."
"Bye Quisty..." she shut the door behind her. I stretched my arms and returned to my packing. I thought I heard voices outside, but I couldn't tell what they were saying. I'm pretty sure one was Xu, but I couldn't tell who the other person was. I heard the doorknob turn. I looked at the door and saw it open revealing....... Squall??
He stood there looking at me.
"Can I come in?" he asked. I know I must've looked surprised, but he was the last person I expected to have paid me a visit.
"Sure." I said shoving all my clothes in one of the suitcases.
He stepped in and shut the door.
"What do you want?" I asked setting the over-stuffed suitcase down on the floor. He kinda of looked a little awkward, he kept shifting his stance, "I told everyone about this morning."
"I figured you would." I said simply. I know that comment sounded a little icy. I didn't mean for it to.
"Yeah, well....They wanted me to ask if you wouldn't mind coming with us tomorrow."
I tilted my head a little, "For what?" Why would they send Squall to tell me? Usually Selphie would fall all over herself to deliver a message to someone.
"I guess it's a farewell thing, they didn't really say that much."
I nodded, "When?"
He looked like he was thinking for a moment, then finally answered, "Around....7:30 p.m.?"
I shrugged, "Sure. I'll meet you guys at the front gate."
"Alright."
"Was that all?"
He nodded, "Yeah. So we'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay." There was an awkward silence. He turned to leave but stopped. He faced me again.
"Actually, that's not all..." he said kind of looking at the ground.
I raised an eyebrow, "What is it?" He opened his mouth to say something, but he just shut it again.
"It's nothing. Forget it." He turned and started to head for the door.
"Hey wait! What's wrong?" I called, but he had already shut the door behind him, leaving me standing there in confusion. Oh don't do this to me again!!!!
What's going on?
To my surprise, I slept fairly well that night. I woke up refreshed and ready to face the day (which is something that rarely happens). I got dressed and started packing again first thing. I had a lot more stuff than I thought I did. It was mainly things I had collected over the years like some books, photos, trinkets, etc. It all fit in my suitcases though, so at least that was a bonus. I didn't want to have to lug boxes around when I left.....
I finished just before lunch. As I looked around at my now bare dorm room, I heard a knock on the door.
"Come in!" I called arranging my suitcases at the foot of my bed.
I heard the door open and I looked to see who it was.
"Hi Xu." I smiled. She wasn't wearing her uniform today. Just a black skirt and a blue blouse. She smiled and looked at the luggage, "I see you're about done?" she asked.
I nodded, "I am done actually."
"You ready to go for a late lunch?"
I wiped my forehead, packing's hard work. I looked at the clock, it was 2:30. "...Yeah, I haven't been out of this room all day!" I said heading towards her.
"Okay, let's go then!"
I got stares as we headed for the cafeteria. No doubt word of my resignation leaked out among the students. Some people whispered as Xu and I passed, and I started feeling a little self-conscious. What were they saying? Please don't tell me someone started some wild rumor about why I'm leaving. I wouldn't be very surprised though....There are people in the Garden who are like that. Personally, I think if you can't even mind your own business, you shouldn't be a SeeD. SeeDs need to work as teams, and so there can't be any backstabbers or else the structure of the team will collapse, and someone will end up dead. It's happened lots of times, and in almost every case, someone ended up injured, or like I just said, dead. That's also kind of a sub-reason why I'm leaving; it's extremely easy to die if you're a SeeD
We reached the cafeteria. When we walked in, I got really nervous, because the entire place went silent. All eyes were on me. I'm just getting irritated with this now! I mean, what's the big deal! I'm only leaving, and it's not like I'm leaving for any majorly interesting reasons. If these people felt what I now felt about this place, they'd probably leave too. Dammit I don't know why I became an Instructor in the first place, maybe it just seemed like a good idea at the time, and I'm surprised I even had the patience for it at the time. Augh!!!
"Quistis?" Xu asked, "Are you alright? Your face went all red."
I blinked a couple times. The anger I just had lingered, then faded. I'm only human, everyone gets really mad sometimes. I'm just glad I didn't blow up at everyone verbally. That could've gotten ugly.
I took a deep breath, "I'm fine.."
The noise and bustling started back up, I guess they found something better to do than stare me down, thank Hyne.
Xu nudged me, "Do you want to go somewhere else?" she asked in concern.
I shook my head, "No, it'll be fine. Let's get a table."
"If you say so."
We managed to get a table near the back, sort of off to the side.
"I'll go and get the food, what do you want?" Xu asked standing up. I thought for a moment.
"A coffee would be great." I said
She nodded, "You got it! I'll be back in a minute."
I sighed, "Thank you so much..." I watched her squeeze her way through the people and head for the counter. I saw her open her mouth to order, when all of a sudden, a blur crashed into her sending her back on her behind. I got up and ran to see what was going on.
When I got there, she was dusting herself off.
"What the heck happened?" I asked. She shook her head and pointed. I looked to see none other than Zell. He was shifting from one foot to the other like an excited little kid.
"Is there any hotdogs left? Any at all?" he asked leaning over the counter. The lunch lady shook her head.
"I told you if you want the hotdogs you have to get here earlier, a lot of people like them just as much as you do!"
I rolled my eyes, this is just too much. He's gonna get someone seriously hurt if he keeps this up.
"Aw man......" he said kicking the floor. I walked up and tapped him on the shoulder. He whirled around.
"OH! Hey there Quisty!"
I put my hands on my hips, "Aren't you going to say anything?"
He looked at me blankly for a moment, "Huh?"
"You almost killed Xu!"
He blushed and scratched the back of his neck, "I'm really sorry Xu. I wasn't really watching where I was going..."
She laughed, "Don't worry. There's no harm done. But you should wear a bell or something so we'll know when your coming!"
I laughed, "Yeah! That'd be an idea."
Zell shrugged, "What can I say." He crossed one foot behind the other and looked at me, "Oh yeah, did Squall give you the message?"
"Yeah." I said putting my hand on my hip.
"So you're coming right?" he asked.
"Of course. Didn't Squall tell you?"
He shook his head, "I haven't seen him all day..... Come to think of it, I haven't seen Irvine and Selphie either..."
"That's weird...."
He nodded and stood up straight, "Well, I wanted to say that....uh.." he started blushing, "That I'm really gonna miss ya. It sucks that you're going to leave....."
I tilted my head, "Thanks Zell, I'll...miss you too." He kinda looked away and dug his toe into the ground. He reminded me of a shy little boy.
"Well-----uh---I-I gotta go and find everyone. See ya!" He turned and ran off to the main hall.
Xu was laughing behind me. I turned and looked at her, "What?"
Her laughter died down to chuckling, "It was funny to see him act like that. Usually he has no problem with things like this."
I raised an eyebrow. I hope she's not implying what I think she's implying.....
She winked at me, "Maybe he kinda likes ya."
"HUH!?" I felt my face get hot, I waved my hands in front of me, "Zell?! No way, uh uh. He's got that library girl as far as I know. Besides, he's just my friend."
Xu shrugged, "If you say so. I'm just teasing anyway." She smiled, "Don't get so worked up."
I chuckled awkwardly, "Sorry, it's just that I don't understand what the big deal is. I mean, everyone's acting like I'm going to go and live on the moon or something...And what's with everyone whispering and staring at me when I walk by? Is it that surprising that I'm leaving?"
Xu shrugged, "Don't ask me. Some smart ass probably posted a little 'theory' on the school message boards. Some people here thrive on gossip."
Yeah, she's probably right. Like I said earlier, some people just can't seem to mind their own business...
She sighed and turned towards the door, "Do you want to go to the Quad or something?"
I nodded, "Yeah, I'm not really that hungry anyway...."
It was really nice out today. The sun was shining, there was a nice breeze, the works. The Garden was parked in it's original resting place, by Balamb. I'm glad for that too. It means that when I leave, I can just catch the train. There weren't a lot of people around, which is surprising considering how nice it is out. Xu and I sat down on the grass.
She stretched her arms out in front of her, and yawned. I propped my elbows on my knees and started fiddling with a blade of grass.
"So........." Xu began, "Have you decided where you're going to go?"
"Um...Well, I guess I'll head for Deling, I mean, I can probably get an apartment there. But in the meantime I'll stay in a motel."
"Wow, I guess you've put lots of thought into this."
"...I guess." I sighed and pulled my knees up to my chest.
"What's wrong?"
I shook my head, "Nothing." I smiled, "I guess I'm a little scared. I grew up here, and before everything happened, I thought I'd always stay here."
"I've been meaning to ask," Xu said turning towards me, "What exactly caused you to leave? I mean, what gave you the idea?"
I scratched my head, "Well, I was thinking the night of the Garden Festival, about some things that have happened, and I guess I just sort of realized what I wanted out of life, and like I said in Cid's office yesterday, SeeD just didn't seem to be something I wanted anymore."
Xu nodded, "Well, it's your life, you should be able to live it as you want to live it....."
That's true, but it's more complicated than that. I decided to just keep to myself about that though.
I looked ahead at the horizon. The sun was high and basked us with nice warm light. I stood up and crossed my arms.
"Where are you going?" Xu asked. I looked at my watch,
"I'm going to get ready for tonight." I looked at her, "Are you coming tonight too?"
She blinked, "For what?"
I can't believe they didn't invite my one of my best friends! I reached out my hand to help her off the grass.
"Meet us at the front gate at 7:30. Okay?"
"Why?" she asked taking my hand. I pulled her up off the grass.
"Squall and the others are having some sort of going-away party for me. I want you to come with us."
"Are you sure?"
I nodded, "Yeah. You're my best friend, of course I want you there!"
She blushed a little, "As long as no one minds..."
"Don't worry! It'll be fine!" I turned and headed for the Quad's exit, I looked back and waved, "See ya later!"
Xu waved back, "Okay, I'll see ya!"
I headed back for my dorm. I had a made a few quick stops around the Garden. Just tying up some loose ends, like returning some books I had borrowed from the library, and saying good-bye to some people who had been my fellow instructors. You know, some pretty mundane stuff like that. As I was walking down the hall to my room, I noticed something lying in font of my door. I picked up the pace to see what it was.
I looked down...It was a big batch of various flowers (white and pink roses, lilies, carnations,). I knelt down and picked up the flowers and I felt a smile creep onto my face. I looked around and then sniffed them. They smelled lovely. I opened my door and entered, shutting it behind me.
I laid the flowers on my desk, and checked for any kind of card to see who was the one who had sent them to me.
I found nothing.
That's pretty strange.......... Looking at the clock, I was knocked out of my state of thought, it was 7:45! I was so late!
I rushed and changed into the light blue, knee-length skirt, and a white t-shirt that I had laid out earlier this morning. I quickly ran to the bathroom and let my hair down, and I brushed it as fast as I could. I stopped and stood back. I guess I looked okay, it was good enough anyway. I grabbed my purse, (yes, even I have a purse) and went to run out the door, but I stopped. I got an idea. I went over to the flowers and picked out one of the lilies. I placed it behind my ear and fastened it in with a clip. I checked the mirror again. It wasn't like me, but what the hell. I smiled and exited the bathroom.
The sound of my sandals hitting the floor echoed down the hall as I ran to the front gate.
A little grin snuck onto my face. When I was an instructor, I used to give my students a hard time about being late, now, I'm late meeting my former students. Funny how things work out huh?
As I neared the gate, I saw Xu and Selphie waving at me. They were with Zell also. When I finally reached them I stopped and rested my hands on my knees panting.
"Geez Quistis, are you okay?" Zell asked. I waved my hand at him and took a deep breath. I stood up straight and smiled.
"Sorry, I was running a little late."
Selphie shrugged and smiled, "It's okay, we're a little delayed ourselves."
I looked around, "Where's the others?"
Zell went to open his mouth, but Selphie elbowed him causing him to shut it.
"They're going to meet us there." she said quickly. I raised an eyebrow. Something weird's going on....
Everyone was smiling at me. I started feeling a little uncomfortable.
"Um, shall we go?" I said taking a few steps toward them. The smiles on their faces died down to grins. They turned and started heading out. Xu put something in front of my eyes.
"Hey!"
"Hold still! It's my job to blindfold you!"
"Why?"
"You'll see.." she giggled. I felt her tie the blindfold in the back, and hoped she didn't crush the lily behind my ear.
"Don't worry, I was careful not to ruin your flower.." she said as if she had known my thoughts.
"Thank you."
Xu had my hand and was leading me to what I was sure was outside. I could feel the grass brush my toes as we walked. I could hear Zell and Selphie chattering away in front of us.
"Watch your step.." Xu said. We were walking up some stairs now.
"Huh? Why are we taking the Ragna--"
She hushed me, "You'll see! You're so impatient!" she laughed. I smiled.
"Sorry.."
When we got inside, I could hear the motorized lift pull the stairs up. I looked back towards the noise, but Xu started pulling me the other way. Zell, Selphie, and Xu's voices echoed throughout the hangar.
We stepped onto what I was sure was the elevator, and my suspicions were confirmed when I felt the ground below me stir and rise up. I noticed that I could hear a lot more. The noise of the lift, the talking, everything was a little clearer. I guess the saying about, 'if you lose one of your senses, your others are heightened', was true. We stepped off the lift and made our way across what I assumed was the cockpit. I was sat down into a chair.
"There. Now you rest and we'll be there before you know it!" Xu said.
"Where are we going? What are you guys up to.....?"
I heard Selphie call back form ahead of me, "You'll see!"
I crossed my arms and slouched a bit. I'm horrible with this sort of thing, I don't really like not knowing what's going on around me. It makes me a little nervous.
I clutched the armrests of the seat as we started to move. It was a bumpy take off. When we finally got up in the air and were moving steadily, I sat back. I might as well relax and see what happens.
"Hey Quistis..." Xu said tapping my shoulder. She was sitting to the left of me.
"What?"
"Where'd you get the flower?"
I blushed and beckoned her closer, "There was a bouquet of them left in front of my door." I whispered.
She gasped and whispered back, "Really?! That's so sweet! Who sent them?"
I shrugged, "I don't know. There wasn't a card."
"That's weird....", she giggled, "Maybe it's a secret admirer...."
I felt my face get hot, "Sshh! Keep it down!"
"Hey! What are you guys conspiring about back there!?" Zell cried.
"N-Nothing!" Xu answered. She leaned in again, "Sorry about that.." she whispered.
I shook my head, and grinned.
The trip was long, and uneventful. My lower body was numb from sitting down for so long, although I think we were only flying for an hour or so.
"Hello." Selphie said in a deep voice, "This is your captain speaking." she stopped and giggled, "We will be landing in a few minutes. Please fasten you seatbelts and remain seated. Booyaka!"
Xu and I laughed. I was glad we were landing soon. I want to know what's going on!
The ship tilted, causing me to slide over and hit the arm rest
"OW!" I cried.
"Are you okay?" Zell called.
I rubbed my arm, I was probably going to have a bump there, "...Yeah..I'm fine."
I felt the ship lower, and finally land. Xu pulled me out of the chair and started leading me back to the lift. I could hear the sound of Zell's and Selphie's footsteps behind us.
Man...this blindfold was starting to make my face itchy, I couldn't wait to get rid of it. I kept tripping as we descended the stairs out of the Ragnarok. My nose wrinkled, I could smell something....It was so familiar....
The ocean.
I felt someone untie the blindfold. My eyes stung with the sudden burst of light and colour. I let the piece of cloth drop to the ground as I slowly opened my eyes.
"My god......" was all I could say. We were at the orphanage. There were beautifully coloured lights strung up around the fallen stone structure. I felt my eyes sting with tears.
Selphie walked in front of me and turned around.
"TA-DA!" she cried lifting her arms into the air, "Well? Do you like it?"
My mouth was open in awe. I can't believe they did this in such a little time frame.
She giggled, "I'll take that as a yes..." She turned around again and cupped her hands around her mouth, "Hey!!!!! You can come out now!!!!!"
I almost fell over she yelled so loud. I looked towards the orphanage door to see people filing out.
Irvine....Rinoa...Squall?
Zell walked up and stood beside them, "These guys have been working all day."
I took a few steps toward them, "I don't know what to say....."
Irvine shook his head, "You don't have to say anything, we didn't mind doing this at all."
I smiled. My friends...... Their such good friends........
Rinoa elbowed Squall in the ribs, "Heh, The 'Commander' was the one who came up with all this!"
Squall kind of glared at her, then looked away. He was the one who planned this?
My heart skipped a bit... How can I be mad at him.... I love him so much....
I ran and hugged everyone one by one, holding back my happy tears. I even hugged Rinoa, she seemed so small in my embrace... Then, I reached Squall. He just stared for a moment, then seemed to look surprised.
I furrowed my brows. He seemed to be looking at the lily behind my ear.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
He shook his head, "..Nothing."
I shrugged and feeling my cheeks get hot, I wrapped my arms around him. He went sort of rigid, like he wasn't sure what to do.
"Thank you..." I said into his shoulder. I felt him relax and to my surprise, return my embrace. I smiled and took in as much of him as I could before I pulled away.
Our eyes met for a brief second, then he turned away.
Zell broke the silence by dashing up the steps of the orphanage, "C'mon! Let's PAR-TAY!!!" He disappeared into the dilapidated building. We all laughed when we heard Zell's squeal of glee radiate throughout the area.
"HOT DOGS!!!!"
Irvine shrugged, "We better get in there before he cleans the whole place out.." Everyone nodded.
The inside of the building was just as beautifully decorated as the outside. Candles were lit and resting in various places casting shadows across the stone floor. Tables of different kinds of orderves were placed in the corner, but none of us could reach them due to the roadblock otherwise known as Zell.
The party went smoothly and everyone seemed to be happy. Except Squall..
While I was talking with Xu and Irvine, I saw him say something to Rinoa and head off towards the beach, leaving Rinoa with a look of worry on her face.
"Quisty? Hello?"
"Huh?"
Irvine looked at me and cocked his head, "You looked a little forlorn there for a minute..."
I shook my head, "I'm fine. Just a little sad I guess....."
He grinned and put his hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry. We're all here for ya."
I nodded, "I know...." I gave him a smile. I looked back to where Squall had disappeared from my sight, then looked back to Xu and Irvine.
"Could you excuse me for a moment?"
They nodded, "No problem." Xu said stepping back. I made my way passed them and headed for Rinoa. She was staring off towards the beach. I tapped her shoulder, making her jump. I must've startled her. She turned around and faced me.
"Is everything alright?" I asked.
She shook her head, "I don't know... I think you should go and talk to Squall.."
I stepped back, "W-Why?"
She looked back towards the beach, "I don't think he'd want you to know....but he's a little upset.."
"He said that?"
She shook her head, "No...but I can tell."
I started towards the beach, but stopped and gave Rinoa a questioning glance. This sort of thing wasn't really my department. I mean last time I asked Squall to open up and talk to me, he told me to talk to a wall. But she waved to go on. I shrugged and continued down the crumbling stone steps....
The moon shone on the water, and basked the lone dark figure standing just out of reach of the water lapping the shore. I took a deep breath and headed towards him.
"What is it?" he asked in his cold way without even turning around. How did he know I was here? I dismissed the thought and stood beside him.
"Can I join you?"
"........It's your party going on up there."
"I know.... I just--," I stopped, looking for the words, "I just wanted to talk to you for a bit."
"Whatever....."
Well, at least he didn't tell me to buzz off or something.
"Is something wrong?" I asked looking at him. He looked really good.. His hair was so shiny, and the moonlight seemed to dance in his grayish eyes.
"Nothing." he answered rather flatly.
I tilted my head, trying to catch his gaze... Oh please look at me....
"You left awfully suddenly..."
He shrugged and looked at me. His eyes burned into mine.
"What? Are you keeping tabs on me or something?" The way he said that stung. Why was he so mean all of a sudden?
"No! I'm just worried about you..." I answered staring at him with equal intensity. After a long silence, he finally turned away. "Don't be."
"But I am!!! Why are you brushing me off? Talk to me...." my eyes became blurry with tears, "Please.....Don't shut me out anymore....." I finished softly. He turned and faced me. His features visibly softened.
A tear escaped and slid down my cheek, "I don't want to have bad memories of you or anyone..." He just stood there, silent.
A strong breeze blew. The lily flew out of my hair and drifted to a soft landing at Squall's feet. He looked at is as if it was some foreign object. Kneeling down, he picked it up and examined it for a moment before standing up and coming towards me.
I felt my face turn multiple shades of crimson as he stopped in front of me and tucked the flower behind my ear.
I looked up at him, my eyes wide.
".....I was hoping you'd like them.." he said lowering his hand to his side.
I furrowed my brow in confusion, "What?"
He looked at the flower, then at me. My eyes widened. It was him? The flowers, were from him?!
I stepped back, "Oh no... Don't do this..."
"Huh?"
I shook my head, "It's hard enough to leave as it is....Stop doing this to me, before I change my mind."
"What? What are you saying?"
I clutched my hands into fists, "If you wanted to tell me, you should of done it earlier. Before Rinoa ca-.."
I could've sworn he blushed as he swept his hand in front of him "N-NO! That's not it!"
"Oh I-I...I didn't.." I stammered trying to come up with something.
He lowered his gaze and shook his head, "It's---"
I took a few steps closer, straining to hear.
"I----", he looked at me in the eye. I stared at him right back.
Please, what is it? I just wanted him to spit it out..
"I'm just---" I could tell he was having a hard time, but why?
"Forget it." he said.
I almost keeled over in disappointment. I was starting to get upset, I just want him to stop jerking me around and say what he wants to say.....
"What? What is it?"
"Nothing! It's nothing!" he shouted.
I stamped my foot, "Don't yell at me like that!!! I just want know what's going on!"
"Forget it!! Forget everything!! Just leave! You can't wait can you!?"
I gasped, "What's that supposed to mean!?!"
His out pouring of emotion startled me, and made me wonder what brought it about. Why does he keep getting all defensive?
"Whatever....." he said waving his hand. With that, he turned and left. Leaving me staring after him in hurt, and confusion.
I finished checking my suitcases making sure I had everything. The rain was pouring down outside leaving streaks on my window. I sighed. I hadn't seen Squall since the tense ride home in the Ragnarok. I wish we hadn't fought last night, and I wish he would've said what he was going to say.....
I adjusted my turtle neck shirt, took my trench coat off the bed and pulled it on. I picked up my suitcases and stood there, just looking around at the room that I had lived in for the passed several years. Sighing, I turned and left.
I protested everyone coming with me to the train station. I didn't want to have to say goodbye there. So, everyone waited with me as a Garden car was prepared for my departure. Cid said it would be all right, and that he would send someone for it later.
I looked around at everyone, there was a face missing though.
Squall.
I turned to Selphie, "Where's Sqaull?"
She shrugged, "I dunno. I haven't seen him since yesterday." I know Rinoa would have been a better person to ask, but she didn't come. She wasn't feeling well, so I had visited her earlier this morning. Besides, she probably didn't know either.
I looked at the ground then at the faded suitcases. I was going to have a fun time dragging those around, but I can't complain. I was the one who didn't want the others coming with me to Balamb.
"It's all ready." the young man said shutting the gas tank's door. I nodded and turned to everyone. They all looked groggy and tired, I guess because we were out so late last night.
I hugged everyone again, and after exchanging our goodbyes, I loaded up the car and drove off. Looking in the rearview mirror, I saw that they were already leaving the parking lot.
The train was late. I had to wait in the rain with about a dozen other soggy people. My hair was plastered, and I started to shiver. It was so cold. I heard groans from the other people as the train finally appeared. I picked up my suitcases and got line with everyone to board.
The train car was nice and warm at least, it felt so cozy inside. I put my luggage in the seat beside me and sat beside the window. I looked out at all the people saying goodbye to each other. A man and woman were hugging and kissing each other goodbye on the other platform. I started to ache with envy...but maybe one day.....
I was startled when the train jerked, then slowly got going. Oh well, I'm going to miss this place....
I was about to turn away from the window when something caught my eye. Something black.
I looked to see Squall come running out from the station. He stopped and gazed at the train with a look of defeat, the rain soaking him, and making the fur collar on his coat mat together, his hair clinging to his face. I was surprised that he saw me... We stared at each other as the train pulled me farther and farther away. I pressed my hands against the glass, and watched his form turn into a blotch, then disappear.
After a while, I pressed my forehead against the window and closed my eyes.
"...Goodbye......."
To be continued.........
Author's note: Hiya! What do you think Sqaull wanted to tell her? And why did he send her flowers? So until I finish writing chapter 2, see ya, and thank you for reading !
Author's Note: Okay I know that the prologue was a little lacking in the romance department, but hey, every story needs a start! So here's my attempt at chapter one! Thank you!
All I Really Want
(Chapter One: Goodbye)
Later that day, Xu walked with me back to my dorm. She insisted that she come and talk with me while I packed.
I agreed. It'd be nice to talk to someone while I'm getting ready for my future.
I unlocked my door and opened it. My room seemed different now than it was this morning, maybe a little more foreign. I put my keys on my desk.
"Make yourself at home." I said turning to Xu, "I'll just be a sec."
"Thanks." she said sitting on my bed. I went to my dresser and pulled out my usual outfit. Orange skirt, orange shirt, etc. I left my gloves on the desk and went to the bathroom. Shutting the door behind me, I began to undress. Today was the last day I'll have worn my uniform.... I folded it neatly and placed it on the side of the sink. I pulled on my shirt and skirt and looked at myself in the mirror. It seemed like a stranger was looking back at me. Why, I'm not sure, I just felt strange.
When I emerged from the bathroom, I found Xu flipping through the photo album I had left on my nightstand. She grinned a little as she looked at the pictures.
"I remember when this was taken..." she said holding up the book. I looked closer to see a young me, and a young Xu standing over a fallen grat. Looking at the background, it seemed to be taken in the training center.
"I remember that too.." I said smiling, "That was the first battle I ever won."
Xu smiled, "Yeah. I remember you kept tripping over your whip and crashing into the grat." She started to laugh.
I blushed. I didn't think it was that funny when it was happening though. I think I was only about 12 years old at the time, and I remember how scared I was. My weapons instructor was standing off to the side telling me to dodge, and be more consistent with my attacks. I really hated that guy then, but Xu was there too. She was shouting encouraging words and kept flamboyantly waving her fists around. When I finally managed to kill the thing, I remembered she ran over and kicked it muttering, "Take that!" Killing the monster was part of my exam for my weaponry class, so my instructor told me and Xu to look at the camera, and he took the picture. I got a copy, and a copy went into my file proving I had passed the exam.
"That was a long time ago...." Xu said studying it a little more.
I put my uniform on the bed, "Yeah..." She looked up from the book and looked at me. Her eyes were shiny.
"I'm going to miss you know." she sniffed and wiped her eyes. My heart sank. I didn't want her to cry, I didn't want anyone to cry, especially because of me. I sat down beside her and took her hand.
"Aw c'mon Xu. I'm not going to disappear off the face of the planet. I'll come and visit you, and you can come and visit me. It's not like we'll never see each other again..."
She wiped her eyes again, ".... I know. But you're not going to be 'here' anymore."
I didn't know what to say to that.
She sniffed and looked at the desk, "When are you going to tell the others?"
My eyes widened.... In the midst of everything, I had forgotten about that. How could I? I mean, I faced death with those people, and I forgot about them.... I guess that proves how horrible I am.....
I sighed, "There's still a lot to do. I have a feeling Squall already took care of it anyway...All that's left is to say goodbye...."
I patted her hand and stood up, "I better get going on this stuff." I headed toward my closet and pulled out my suitcases. They were kind of dusty and made me sneeze when I dropped them on the bed.
Xu chuckled, "You haven't traveled much have you?" I laughed awkwardly, "No, I think I've traveled around enough for 20 lifetimes.."
"Oh, that's right." she said blushing, "I wish I could have helped all of you more, with that."
I shook my head and started to pull stuff out of my dresser, "No.....You did just fine. Don't worry about it."
I heard her stand up, "It's getting really late... I'll leave you to your packing." I turned around and looked at her.
"You're leaving?"
She nodded and pointed to the alarm clock, "It's almost nine."
Wow time went by fast. I looked out the window into the night sky. She came over and gave me a hug.
"I'll come and see you tomorrow. Maybe we can have lunch or something." she said into my shoulder. She stood back at arms length.
"Sure, that would great!" I smiled. She smiled back and waved.
"I'll see you tomorrow then." She headed for the door and opened it.
"Bye Xu."
"Bye Quisty..." she shut the door behind her. I stretched my arms and returned to my packing. I thought I heard voices outside, but I couldn't tell what they were saying. I'm pretty sure one was Xu, but I couldn't tell who the other person was. I heard the doorknob turn. I looked at the door and saw it open revealing....... Squall??
He stood there looking at me.
"Can I come in?" he asked. I know I must've looked surprised, but he was the last person I expected to have paid me a visit.
"Sure." I said shoving all my clothes in one of the suitcases.
He stepped in and shut the door.
"What do you want?" I asked setting the over-stuffed suitcase down on the floor. He kinda of looked a little awkward, he kept shifting his stance, "I told everyone about this morning."
"I figured you would." I said simply. I know that comment sounded a little icy. I didn't mean for it to.
"Yeah, well....They wanted me to ask if you wouldn't mind coming with us tomorrow."
I tilted my head a little, "For what?" Why would they send Squall to tell me? Usually Selphie would fall all over herself to deliver a message to someone.
"I guess it's a farewell thing, they didn't really say that much."
I nodded, "When?"
He looked like he was thinking for a moment, then finally answered, "Around....7:30 p.m.?"
I shrugged, "Sure. I'll meet you guys at the front gate."
"Alright."
"Was that all?"
He nodded, "Yeah. So we'll see you tomorrow."
"Okay." There was an awkward silence. He turned to leave but stopped. He faced me again.
"Actually, that's not all..." he said kind of looking at the ground.
I raised an eyebrow, "What is it?" He opened his mouth to say something, but he just shut it again.
"It's nothing. Forget it." He turned and started to head for the door.
"Hey wait! What's wrong?" I called, but he had already shut the door behind him, leaving me standing there in confusion. Oh don't do this to me again!!!!
What's going on?
To my surprise, I slept fairly well that night. I woke up refreshed and ready to face the day (which is something that rarely happens). I got dressed and started packing again first thing. I had a lot more stuff than I thought I did. It was mainly things I had collected over the years like some books, photos, trinkets, etc. It all fit in my suitcases though, so at least that was a bonus. I didn't want to have to lug boxes around when I left.....
I finished just before lunch. As I looked around at my now bare dorm room, I heard a knock on the door.
"Come in!" I called arranging my suitcases at the foot of my bed.
I heard the door open and I looked to see who it was.
"Hi Xu." I smiled. She wasn't wearing her uniform today. Just a black skirt and a blue blouse. She smiled and looked at the luggage, "I see you're about done?" she asked.
I nodded, "I am done actually."
"You ready to go for a late lunch?"
I wiped my forehead, packing's hard work. I looked at the clock, it was 2:30. "...Yeah, I haven't been out of this room all day!" I said heading towards her.
"Okay, let's go then!"
I got stares as we headed for the cafeteria. No doubt word of my resignation leaked out among the students. Some people whispered as Xu and I passed, and I started feeling a little self-conscious. What were they saying? Please don't tell me someone started some wild rumor about why I'm leaving. I wouldn't be very surprised though....There are people in the Garden who are like that. Personally, I think if you can't even mind your own business, you shouldn't be a SeeD. SeeDs need to work as teams, and so there can't be any backstabbers or else the structure of the team will collapse, and someone will end up dead. It's happened lots of times, and in almost every case, someone ended up injured, or like I just said, dead. That's also kind of a sub-reason why I'm leaving; it's extremely easy to die if you're a SeeD
We reached the cafeteria. When we walked in, I got really nervous, because the entire place went silent. All eyes were on me. I'm just getting irritated with this now! I mean, what's the big deal! I'm only leaving, and it's not like I'm leaving for any majorly interesting reasons. If these people felt what I now felt about this place, they'd probably leave too. Dammit I don't know why I became an Instructor in the first place, maybe it just seemed like a good idea at the time, and I'm surprised I even had the patience for it at the time. Augh!!!
"Quistis?" Xu asked, "Are you alright? Your face went all red."
I blinked a couple times. The anger I just had lingered, then faded. I'm only human, everyone gets really mad sometimes. I'm just glad I didn't blow up at everyone verbally. That could've gotten ugly.
I took a deep breath, "I'm fine.."
The noise and bustling started back up, I guess they found something better to do than stare me down, thank Hyne.
Xu nudged me, "Do you want to go somewhere else?" she asked in concern.
I shook my head, "No, it'll be fine. Let's get a table."
"If you say so."
We managed to get a table near the back, sort of off to the side.
"I'll go and get the food, what do you want?" Xu asked standing up. I thought for a moment.
"A coffee would be great." I said
She nodded, "You got it! I'll be back in a minute."
I sighed, "Thank you so much..." I watched her squeeze her way through the people and head for the counter. I saw her open her mouth to order, when all of a sudden, a blur crashed into her sending her back on her behind. I got up and ran to see what was going on.
When I got there, she was dusting herself off.
"What the heck happened?" I asked. She shook her head and pointed. I looked to see none other than Zell. He was shifting from one foot to the other like an excited little kid.
"Is there any hotdogs left? Any at all?" he asked leaning over the counter. The lunch lady shook her head.
"I told you if you want the hotdogs you have to get here earlier, a lot of people like them just as much as you do!"
I rolled my eyes, this is just too much. He's gonna get someone seriously hurt if he keeps this up.
"Aw man......" he said kicking the floor. I walked up and tapped him on the shoulder. He whirled around.
"OH! Hey there Quisty!"
I put my hands on my hips, "Aren't you going to say anything?"
He looked at me blankly for a moment, "Huh?"
"You almost killed Xu!"
He blushed and scratched the back of his neck, "I'm really sorry Xu. I wasn't really watching where I was going..."
She laughed, "Don't worry. There's no harm done. But you should wear a bell or something so we'll know when your coming!"
I laughed, "Yeah! That'd be an idea."
Zell shrugged, "What can I say." He crossed one foot behind the other and looked at me, "Oh yeah, did Squall give you the message?"
"Yeah." I said putting my hand on my hip.
"So you're coming right?" he asked.
"Of course. Didn't Squall tell you?"
He shook his head, "I haven't seen him all day..... Come to think of it, I haven't seen Irvine and Selphie either..."
"That's weird...."
He nodded and stood up straight, "Well, I wanted to say that....uh.." he started blushing, "That I'm really gonna miss ya. It sucks that you're going to leave....."
I tilted my head, "Thanks Zell, I'll...miss you too." He kinda looked away and dug his toe into the ground. He reminded me of a shy little boy.
"Well-----uh---I-I gotta go and find everyone. See ya!" He turned and ran off to the main hall.
Xu was laughing behind me. I turned and looked at her, "What?"
Her laughter died down to chuckling, "It was funny to see him act like that. Usually he has no problem with things like this."
I raised an eyebrow. I hope she's not implying what I think she's implying.....
She winked at me, "Maybe he kinda likes ya."
"HUH!?" I felt my face get hot, I waved my hands in front of me, "Zell?! No way, uh uh. He's got that library girl as far as I know. Besides, he's just my friend."
Xu shrugged, "If you say so. I'm just teasing anyway." She smiled, "Don't get so worked up."
I chuckled awkwardly, "Sorry, it's just that I don't understand what the big deal is. I mean, everyone's acting like I'm going to go and live on the moon or something...And what's with everyone whispering and staring at me when I walk by? Is it that surprising that I'm leaving?"
Xu shrugged, "Don't ask me. Some smart ass probably posted a little 'theory' on the school message boards. Some people here thrive on gossip."
Yeah, she's probably right. Like I said earlier, some people just can't seem to mind their own business...
She sighed and turned towards the door, "Do you want to go to the Quad or something?"
I nodded, "Yeah, I'm not really that hungry anyway...."
It was really nice out today. The sun was shining, there was a nice breeze, the works. The Garden was parked in it's original resting place, by Balamb. I'm glad for that too. It means that when I leave, I can just catch the train. There weren't a lot of people around, which is surprising considering how nice it is out. Xu and I sat down on the grass.
She stretched her arms out in front of her, and yawned. I propped my elbows on my knees and started fiddling with a blade of grass.
"So........." Xu began, "Have you decided where you're going to go?"
"Um...Well, I guess I'll head for Deling, I mean, I can probably get an apartment there. But in the meantime I'll stay in a motel."
"Wow, I guess you've put lots of thought into this."
"...I guess." I sighed and pulled my knees up to my chest.
"What's wrong?"
I shook my head, "Nothing." I smiled, "I guess I'm a little scared. I grew up here, and before everything happened, I thought I'd always stay here."
"I've been meaning to ask," Xu said turning towards me, "What exactly caused you to leave? I mean, what gave you the idea?"
I scratched my head, "Well, I was thinking the night of the Garden Festival, about some things that have happened, and I guess I just sort of realized what I wanted out of life, and like I said in Cid's office yesterday, SeeD just didn't seem to be something I wanted anymore."
Xu nodded, "Well, it's your life, you should be able to live it as you want to live it....."
That's true, but it's more complicated than that. I decided to just keep to myself about that though.
I looked ahead at the horizon. The sun was high and basked us with nice warm light. I stood up and crossed my arms.
"Where are you going?" Xu asked. I looked at my watch,
"I'm going to get ready for tonight." I looked at her, "Are you coming tonight too?"
She blinked, "For what?"
I can't believe they didn't invite my one of my best friends! I reached out my hand to help her off the grass.
"Meet us at the front gate at 7:30. Okay?"
"Why?" she asked taking my hand. I pulled her up off the grass.
"Squall and the others are having some sort of going-away party for me. I want you to come with us."
"Are you sure?"
I nodded, "Yeah. You're my best friend, of course I want you there!"
She blushed a little, "As long as no one minds..."
"Don't worry! It'll be fine!" I turned and headed for the Quad's exit, I looked back and waved, "See ya later!"
Xu waved back, "Okay, I'll see ya!"
I headed back for my dorm. I had a made a few quick stops around the Garden. Just tying up some loose ends, like returning some books I had borrowed from the library, and saying good-bye to some people who had been my fellow instructors. You know, some pretty mundane stuff like that. As I was walking down the hall to my room, I noticed something lying in font of my door. I picked up the pace to see what it was.
I looked down...It was a big batch of various flowers (white and pink roses, lilies, carnations,). I knelt down and picked up the flowers and I felt a smile creep onto my face. I looked around and then sniffed them. They smelled lovely. I opened my door and entered, shutting it behind me.
I laid the flowers on my desk, and checked for any kind of card to see who was the one who had sent them to me.
I found nothing.
That's pretty strange.......... Looking at the clock, I was knocked out of my state of thought, it was 7:45! I was so late!
I rushed and changed into the light blue, knee-length skirt, and a white t-shirt that I had laid out earlier this morning. I quickly ran to the bathroom and let my hair down, and I brushed it as fast as I could. I stopped and stood back. I guess I looked okay, it was good enough anyway. I grabbed my purse, (yes, even I have a purse) and went to run out the door, but I stopped. I got an idea. I went over to the flowers and picked out one of the lilies. I placed it behind my ear and fastened it in with a clip. I checked the mirror again. It wasn't like me, but what the hell. I smiled and exited the bathroom.
The sound of my sandals hitting the floor echoed down the hall as I ran to the front gate.
A little grin snuck onto my face. When I was an instructor, I used to give my students a hard time about being late, now, I'm late meeting my former students. Funny how things work out huh?
As I neared the gate, I saw Xu and Selphie waving at me. They were with Zell also. When I finally reached them I stopped and rested my hands on my knees panting.
"Geez Quistis, are you okay?" Zell asked. I waved my hand at him and took a deep breath. I stood up straight and smiled.
"Sorry, I was running a little late."
Selphie shrugged and smiled, "It's okay, we're a little delayed ourselves."
I looked around, "Where's the others?"
Zell went to open his mouth, but Selphie elbowed him causing him to shut it.
"They're going to meet us there." she said quickly. I raised an eyebrow. Something weird's going on....
Everyone was smiling at me. I started feeling a little uncomfortable.
"Um, shall we go?" I said taking a few steps toward them. The smiles on their faces died down to grins. They turned and started heading out. Xu put something in front of my eyes.
"Hey!"
"Hold still! It's my job to blindfold you!"
"Why?"
"You'll see.." she giggled. I felt her tie the blindfold in the back, and hoped she didn't crush the lily behind my ear.
"Don't worry, I was careful not to ruin your flower.." she said as if she had known my thoughts.
"Thank you."
Xu had my hand and was leading me to what I was sure was outside. I could feel the grass brush my toes as we walked. I could hear Zell and Selphie chattering away in front of us.
"Watch your step.." Xu said. We were walking up some stairs now.
"Huh? Why are we taking the Ragna--"
She hushed me, "You'll see! You're so impatient!" she laughed. I smiled.
"Sorry.."
When we got inside, I could hear the motorized lift pull the stairs up. I looked back towards the noise, but Xu started pulling me the other way. Zell, Selphie, and Xu's voices echoed throughout the hangar.
We stepped onto what I was sure was the elevator, and my suspicions were confirmed when I felt the ground below me stir and rise up. I noticed that I could hear a lot more. The noise of the lift, the talking, everything was a little clearer. I guess the saying about, 'if you lose one of your senses, your others are heightened', was true. We stepped off the lift and made our way across what I assumed was the cockpit. I was sat down into a chair.
"There. Now you rest and we'll be there before you know it!" Xu said.
"Where are we going? What are you guys up to.....?"
I heard Selphie call back form ahead of me, "You'll see!"
I crossed my arms and slouched a bit. I'm horrible with this sort of thing, I don't really like not knowing what's going on around me. It makes me a little nervous.
I clutched the armrests of the seat as we started to move. It was a bumpy take off. When we finally got up in the air and were moving steadily, I sat back. I might as well relax and see what happens.
"Hey Quistis..." Xu said tapping my shoulder. She was sitting to the left of me.
"What?"
"Where'd you get the flower?"
I blushed and beckoned her closer, "There was a bouquet of them left in front of my door." I whispered.
She gasped and whispered back, "Really?! That's so sweet! Who sent them?"
I shrugged, "I don't know. There wasn't a card."
"That's weird....", she giggled, "Maybe it's a secret admirer...."
I felt my face get hot, "Sshh! Keep it down!"
"Hey! What are you guys conspiring about back there!?" Zell cried.
"N-Nothing!" Xu answered. She leaned in again, "Sorry about that.." she whispered.
I shook my head, and grinned.
The trip was long, and uneventful. My lower body was numb from sitting down for so long, although I think we were only flying for an hour or so.
"Hello." Selphie said in a deep voice, "This is your captain speaking." she stopped and giggled, "We will be landing in a few minutes. Please fasten you seatbelts and remain seated. Booyaka!"
Xu and I laughed. I was glad we were landing soon. I want to know what's going on!
The ship tilted, causing me to slide over and hit the arm rest
"OW!" I cried.
"Are you okay?" Zell called.
I rubbed my arm, I was probably going to have a bump there, "...Yeah..I'm fine."
I felt the ship lower, and finally land. Xu pulled me out of the chair and started leading me back to the lift. I could hear the sound of Zell's and Selphie's footsteps behind us.
Man...this blindfold was starting to make my face itchy, I couldn't wait to get rid of it. I kept tripping as we descended the stairs out of the Ragnarok. My nose wrinkled, I could smell something....It was so familiar....
The ocean.
I felt someone untie the blindfold. My eyes stung with the sudden burst of light and colour. I let the piece of cloth drop to the ground as I slowly opened my eyes.
"My god......" was all I could say. We were at the orphanage. There were beautifully coloured lights strung up around the fallen stone structure. I felt my eyes sting with tears.
Selphie walked in front of me and turned around.
"TA-DA!" she cried lifting her arms into the air, "Well? Do you like it?"
My mouth was open in awe. I can't believe they did this in such a little time frame.
She giggled, "I'll take that as a yes..." She turned around again and cupped her hands around her mouth, "Hey!!!!! You can come out now!!!!!"
I almost fell over she yelled so loud. I looked towards the orphanage door to see people filing out.
Irvine....Rinoa...Squall?
Zell walked up and stood beside them, "These guys have been working all day."
I took a few steps toward them, "I don't know what to say....."
Irvine shook his head, "You don't have to say anything, we didn't mind doing this at all."
I smiled. My friends...... Their such good friends........
Rinoa elbowed Squall in the ribs, "Heh, The 'Commander' was the one who came up with all this!"
Squall kind of glared at her, then looked away. He was the one who planned this?
My heart skipped a bit... How can I be mad at him.... I love him so much....
I ran and hugged everyone one by one, holding back my happy tears. I even hugged Rinoa, she seemed so small in my embrace... Then, I reached Squall. He just stared for a moment, then seemed to look surprised.
I furrowed my brows. He seemed to be looking at the lily behind my ear.
"What's wrong?" I asked.
He shook his head, "..Nothing."
I shrugged and feeling my cheeks get hot, I wrapped my arms around him. He went sort of rigid, like he wasn't sure what to do.
"Thank you..." I said into his shoulder. I felt him relax and to my surprise, return my embrace. I smiled and took in as much of him as I could before I pulled away.
Our eyes met for a brief second, then he turned away.
Zell broke the silence by dashing up the steps of the orphanage, "C'mon! Let's PAR-TAY!!!" He disappeared into the dilapidated building. We all laughed when we heard Zell's squeal of glee radiate throughout the area.
"HOT DOGS!!!!"
Irvine shrugged, "We better get in there before he cleans the whole place out.." Everyone nodded.
The inside of the building was just as beautifully decorated as the outside. Candles were lit and resting in various places casting shadows across the stone floor. Tables of different kinds of orderves were placed in the corner, but none of us could reach them due to the roadblock otherwise known as Zell.
The party went smoothly and everyone seemed to be happy. Except Squall..
While I was talking with Xu and Irvine, I saw him say something to Rinoa and head off towards the beach, leaving Rinoa with a look of worry on her face.
"Quisty? Hello?"
"Huh?"
Irvine looked at me and cocked his head, "You looked a little forlorn there for a minute..."
I shook my head, "I'm fine. Just a little sad I guess....."
He grinned and put his hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry. We're all here for ya."
I nodded, "I know...." I gave him a smile. I looked back to where Squall had disappeared from my sight, then looked back to Xu and Irvine.
"Could you excuse me for a moment?"
They nodded, "No problem." Xu said stepping back. I made my way passed them and headed for Rinoa. She was staring off towards the beach. I tapped her shoulder, making her jump. I must've startled her. She turned around and faced me.
"Is everything alright?" I asked.
She shook her head, "I don't know... I think you should go and talk to Squall.."
I stepped back, "W-Why?"
She looked back towards the beach, "I don't think he'd want you to know....but he's a little upset.."
"He said that?"
She shook her head, "No...but I can tell."
I started towards the beach, but stopped and gave Rinoa a questioning glance. This sort of thing wasn't really my department. I mean last time I asked Squall to open up and talk to me, he told me to talk to a wall. But she waved to go on. I shrugged and continued down the crumbling stone steps....
The moon shone on the water, and basked the lone dark figure standing just out of reach of the water lapping the shore. I took a deep breath and headed towards him.
"What is it?" he asked in his cold way without even turning around. How did he know I was here? I dismissed the thought and stood beside him.
"Can I join you?"
"........It's your party going on up there."
"I know.... I just--," I stopped, looking for the words, "I just wanted to talk to you for a bit."
"Whatever....."
Well, at least he didn't tell me to buzz off or something.
"Is something wrong?" I asked looking at him. He looked really good.. His hair was so shiny, and the moonlight seemed to dance in his grayish eyes.
"Nothing." he answered rather flatly.
I tilted my head, trying to catch his gaze... Oh please look at me....
"You left awfully suddenly..."
He shrugged and looked at me. His eyes burned into mine.
"What? Are you keeping tabs on me or something?" The way he said that stung. Why was he so mean all of a sudden?
"No! I'm just worried about you..." I answered staring at him with equal intensity. After a long silence, he finally turned away. "Don't be."
"But I am!!! Why are you brushing me off? Talk to me...." my eyes became blurry with tears, "Please.....Don't shut me out anymore....." I finished softly. He turned and faced me. His features visibly softened.
A tear escaped and slid down my cheek, "I don't want to have bad memories of you or anyone..." He just stood there, silent.
A strong breeze blew. The lily flew out of my hair and drifted to a soft landing at Squall's feet. He looked at is as if it was some foreign object. Kneeling down, he picked it up and examined it for a moment before standing up and coming towards me.
I felt my face turn multiple shades of crimson as he stopped in front of me and tucked the flower behind my ear.
I looked up at him, my eyes wide.
".....I was hoping you'd like them.." he said lowering his hand to his side.
I furrowed my brow in confusion, "What?"
He looked at the flower, then at me. My eyes widened. It was him? The flowers, were from him?!
I stepped back, "Oh no... Don't do this..."
"Huh?"
I shook my head, "It's hard enough to leave as it is....Stop doing this to me, before I change my mind."
"What? What are you saying?"
I clutched my hands into fists, "If you wanted to tell me, you should of done it earlier. Before Rinoa ca-.."
I could've sworn he blushed as he swept his hand in front of him "N-NO! That's not it!"
"Oh I-I...I didn't.." I stammered trying to come up with something.
He lowered his gaze and shook his head, "It's---"
I took a few steps closer, straining to hear.
"I----", he looked at me in the eye. I stared at him right back.
Please, what is it? I just wanted him to spit it out..
"I'm just---" I could tell he was having a hard time, but why?
"Forget it." he said.
I almost keeled over in disappointment. I was starting to get upset, I just want him to stop jerking me around and say what he wants to say.....
"What? What is it?"
"Nothing! It's nothing!" he shouted.
I stamped my foot, "Don't yell at me like that!!! I just want know what's going on!"
"Forget it!! Forget everything!! Just leave! You can't wait can you!?"
I gasped, "What's that supposed to mean!?!"
His out pouring of emotion startled me, and made me wonder what brought it about. Why does he keep getting all defensive?
"Whatever....." he said waving his hand. With that, he turned and left. Leaving me staring after him in hurt, and confusion.
I finished checking my suitcases making sure I had everything. The rain was pouring down outside leaving streaks on my window. I sighed. I hadn't seen Squall since the tense ride home in the Ragnarok. I wish we hadn't fought last night, and I wish he would've said what he was going to say.....
I adjusted my turtle neck shirt, took my trench coat off the bed and pulled it on. I picked up my suitcases and stood there, just looking around at the room that I had lived in for the passed several years. Sighing, I turned and left.
I protested everyone coming with me to the train station. I didn't want to have to say goodbye there. So, everyone waited with me as a Garden car was prepared for my departure. Cid said it would be all right, and that he would send someone for it later.
I looked around at everyone, there was a face missing though.
Squall.
I turned to Selphie, "Where's Sqaull?"
She shrugged, "I dunno. I haven't seen him since yesterday." I know Rinoa would have been a better person to ask, but she didn't come. She wasn't feeling well, so I had visited her earlier this morning. Besides, she probably didn't know either.
I looked at the ground then at the faded suitcases. I was going to have a fun time dragging those around, but I can't complain. I was the one who didn't want the others coming with me to Balamb.
"It's all ready." the young man said shutting the gas tank's door. I nodded and turned to everyone. They all looked groggy and tired, I guess because we were out so late last night.
I hugged everyone again, and after exchanging our goodbyes, I loaded up the car and drove off. Looking in the rearview mirror, I saw that they were already leaving the parking lot.
The train was late. I had to wait in the rain with about a dozen other soggy people. My hair was plastered, and I started to shiver. It was so cold. I heard groans from the other people as the train finally appeared. I picked up my suitcases and got line with everyone to board.
The train car was nice and warm at least, it felt so cozy inside. I put my luggage in the seat beside me and sat beside the window. I looked out at all the people saying goodbye to each other. A man and woman were hugging and kissing each other goodbye on the other platform. I started to ache with envy...but maybe one day.....
I was startled when the train jerked, then slowly got going. Oh well, I'm going to miss this place....
I was about to turn away from the window when something caught my eye. Something black.
I looked to see Squall come running out from the station. He stopped and gazed at the train with a look of defeat, the rain soaking him, and making the fur collar on his coat mat together, his hair clinging to his face. I was surprised that he saw me... We stared at each other as the train pulled me farther and farther away. I pressed my hands against the glass, and watched his form turn into a blotch, then disappear.
After a while, I pressed my forehead against the window and closed my eyes.
"...Goodbye......."
To be continued.........
Author's note: Hiya! What do you think Sqaull wanted to tell her? And why did he send her flowers? So until I finish writing chapter 2, see ya, and thank you for reading !