Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy 8, or any characters therein. The plot for this story is from my own imagination though. YAY Squaresoft!
Author's Note: Well, I'm back! This is the second last chapter, so that means this is gonna be over soon...
*sniff* Oh well, I had a blast writing it! So here's Chapter 4!
All I Really Want
(Chapter 4: A Single Moment)
I had a lot of fun trying to open my apartment door, and keep Squall from falling face first into the wall at the same time. After a couple minutes I finally managed to get the door open. I glanced around making sure no one was around, and I helped Squall inside.
Thing is now, where am I going to put him?
After a moment of thought I directed us toward my room. I opened the door with a soft nudge of my foot and helped him onto the bed. I took a deep breath and wiped my forehead. This was pretty hard work. I looked him over, trying to assess which wounds I should 'tend to first, then went to the bathroom in search of face cloths, and bandages. After a few minutes of rummaging through my medicine cabinet and sink cupboard, I came back with what I needed.
As I headed toward the bed, my head felt incredibly light. I stumbled and braced myself on the wall for a moment..... I am so tired.....
I looked at Squall. He had fallen asleep. I wish I could get some sleep too, but it'll have to wait. Letting out a tiny groan, I headed toward the side of the bed and flicked on the lamp on the night stand. I looked around for something to sit on, and ended up dragging a chair in from the table in my living room.
I sat down, and slowly reached my hand toward him, but I hesitated. I was almost afraid to touch him. I guess because ever since I remember, he seemed untouchable, invincible. It's strange to see him in such a sorry state. He didn't even look this worn out when he had gotten the scar on his forehead.
Fighting the little demons in my head, I brushed back his hair with my hand and started wiping away the blood that was caked around his forehead and hairline. I found the source was a gash a few inches above his temple. It wasn't very big, so I guess the bad ones are the ones on his chest, unless he's become incredibly soft in the last couple of months. I unrolled some bandage and carefully lifted his head up so I could wrap them around.
This would be a lot easier if he wasn't asleep!
I sighed and fastened the gauze, then got up and headed for the bathroom to soak another face cloth.
When I returned, Squall was awake and touching the bandages on his forehead.
"So the sleeping beauty has awakened!" I said chuckling as I stood at the foot of the bed. He sat up a little and looked at me,
"Where am I?"
I walked over and sat back down on the chair beside the bed, "You're in my room."
He blinked and looked around.
"You don't remember the trip up here do you?"
He furrowed his brows, but didn't answer me.
I sighed again, "Well, since you're awake, I'm gonna have to ask you to take your shirt off."
I almost burst out laughing at the look he gave me. Maybe I should have phrased that a little differently.
Shaking my head I held up the bandages, "You have some pretty nasty wounds on your chest do you not?"
He looked away, "I'm fine."
Hah! Whatever.
"If you're so fine, then why did you practically pass out?" I pointed at his blood-stained shirt, "And I suppose those are just ketchup stains...."
He didn't answer me.
"C'mon. don't make this difficult." That got him. He sighed and pulled off his jacket. I took it from him and put it over the back of the chair. When I turned back to him he was just sitting there.
"The shirt too." I said crossing my arms.
He gave me a sour look, "I'm fine, really."
I rolled my eyes, "I'm not going to take advantage of you or anything." He growled and hesitantly pulled his shirt off, and put it on the bed beside him. To my surprise he looked a little sheepish.
I suddenly felt my face get hot... No, I won't let that interfere with the task at hand.
I swallowed hard and reached for the damp cloth.
"Did you ever make it this hard for the infirmary doctors?" I said more as a comment than as a question. I was implying it as a joke to loosen him up, but judging from the fact that he looked away, I guess my attempt at humor didn't work.
I was right. The bad wounds were on his chest. His whole upper body was covered in dry blood.
What the hell happened? There were gashes here and there.
Did he just stand in front of some Fastitocalon and say, 'Come and get me'? In any case, I got to work and cleaned him up the best to my ability. I suddenly felt very thankful I had gotten first aid lessons from Dr. Kadowaki a long time ago.
I sat back and looked him over.
Almost worthy of Dr. Kadowaki herself. I had a little grin of satisfaction as I got up and collected all of the items I had brought out of the bathroom.
"I'm done." I said as I stood up. I tried to contain my giggle as Squall hastily pulled his gray t-shirt back on. It was funny to see him all shy.
I returned everything to it's rightful place. As I was about to exit the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Oh Hyne I looked awful. My hair was all disheveled, my clothes wrinkled and dirty. I looked like I've been to Hell and back. Oh well.....
I returned to find Squall trying to get out of bed. I rushed over and blocked his path.
"Where do you think you're going?" I said in the tone I haven't used since I was an instructor, "You should rest."
He tried to push me aside, "I'm fine.... I'm just going to walk around for a bit....."
"Nuh uh, get some sleep. Besides, it's really late anyway."
He gave up and sat back down on the bed, "You haven't changed much..." he said with a little grin.
I blinked and scratched my head, "What are you talking about?"
"You can still sound like an instructor from Garden when you want to."
At the mention of the Garden, I remembered where, and what I had been doing for the passed nine hours.
I sighed, and reached for the phone on the night stand, "Speaking of the Garden, I better call them and tell them you're alright...."
He reached over and grabbed my hand.
"Don't......" he said.
I looked at him, "What?"
"I said don't call them."
"Why? They're all worried about you! They've been searching the entire Balamb area for you!"
He just stared at me, "I don't want them to know where I am....."
I raised an eyebrow, "Are you serious. You're going to let everyone worry about you? What about Rinoa? You don't think that she's wondering what happened to you." I remembered Rinoa's odd behavior back at the Garden. Was she worried about him? I couldn't tell, she ended up changing the subject by asking me if I loved----
Oh yeah.
I cleared my throat and suddenly became aware of Squall's hand on mine. I slowly pulled my hand back, unsure of what to do now. A part of me wanted to call and inform Garden, but another part of me didn't want to. Mainly, I wanted to know what was going on. I decided I wouldn't ask him now, I'll let him recover a little first. But why doesn't he want the Garden to know he's okay? This is really strange....
"Fine." I said standing up. Squall looked incredibly relieved when I said that.
"You better have a good reason for taking off from there." I said crossing my arms, "If you had any idea what kind of state the Garden's in right now."
He just sat there. Silent.
I leaned down so we were eye level.
"Just promise me you'll call them tomorrow. You know Cid would have let you gone on leave of absence if you had asked him, instead of taking off....."
He shook his head, ".............."
I tried to look as sympathetic as possible, although secretly I'm absolutely furious with him, but I'm pretty happy that he's here and safe.
"Promise me. Please?"
He slouched a little, "Fine then...." he said staring into my eyes. I smiled as nicely as I could and put my hand on his shoulder.
"Well, get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning.." I stood up straight and turned toward the door.
"Don't you want your bed back?"
I shook my head, "Nah. I'll sleep on the couch." I continued toward the door.
"Good night." I said turning back to look at him. He nodded, which I assumed was a response. I shut the door behind me and leaned on it. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes.......
I still have so many questions I want to ask, but I'm so damned tired....
I groggily stumbled toward my couch and started pulling all the pillows and cushions off of it. Stopping only to yawn, and thank the heaven's that my couch was a pull out, I managed to get the bed set up. I stacked the cushions neatly beside it, and dropped all the pillows at the head of it. If only I had my pajamas.......
No, Squall's probably asleep already, I won't disturb him.
I pulled off my soaking wet boots and put them beside the door. Taking off my jacket I realized that there were two sets of muddy footprints leading into my bedroom.
Dammit......
Screw it. I'll clean them up tomorrow. I shut off the light and made my way back to the couch bed.
I think I fell asleep before my head even hit the pillow.....
I awoke the next morning to the sound of my television set. I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes. Looking to my right, I saw Squall sitting in my old easy chair flipping through the channels... This scene looked so odd. I never would of thought in a million years that he'd ever watch television.
That's so stupid, why do I assume things like that? I guess I don't know him as well as I should.
"What time is it...?" I asked leaning back on my hands.
There was a delayed silence, then Squall answered, "Eleven.."
I stretched and pulled the sheet I had used as a blanket off of me. I was still sort of tired, but in all honesty, I think over ten hours sleep was good enough. I swung my legs off the side of the bed and sat there for a moment. I should call Nina and the others first off to tell them everything's alright.
There's something I'm forgetting. What else was I supposed to do today?
Oh. Go to work. That's not 'til 7:00 though.
I slowly stood up and headed for my bedroom. Shutting the door behind me, I started to undress.
I definitely need a hot shower, I probably smell like I went on a safari through Kashkabald Desert. I ran around a lot yesterday, looking all over that island for someone who ended up on my doorstep.
Ugh.... All of that for nothing. Oh well, at least he's not dead in a ditch somewhere.
I stepped into the shower and carefully turned on the water, making sure I don't freeze, or scald my self to death. I bent down and pushed up the little sliding button on top of the tap, I felt the warm water trickle onto my back, then gradually get stronger and turn into a spray. It felt so nice on my skin, and I could've probably just stood in there for hours....
I threw my dirty clothes into the laundry basket on the floor of my closet. It was starting to get full.....I better get going and wash that stuff...
Speaking of laundry, Squall probably needs one pretty bad. Between the blood and the dirt, his clothes are probably a disaster....
I grabbed a blue shirt with 3 1/4 length sleeves off of a hangar, pulled it on, and walked over to my dresser. Rummaging through the drawers, I found my pair of jeans and I slipped them on.
I went to grab the laundry basket when I realized something.
Squall's gonna need something to wear if I'm going to wash his clothes......... I don't think I have anything for him, unless--
I reached up to the top shelf in my closet and pulled down a large rectangular box.
These were going to be a present for Dylan's birthday...... But it's still a couple weeks away, I'll just get him something else.
I opened the box and pulled out the beige khakis, and navy blue t-shirt. These cost me a bundle too... I can't believe how much they charge for clothes now a days...
I opened the door, and found Squall still sitting in front of the T.V. He didn't even acknowledge my presence until I tossed the clothes at him.
"Change into those.." I said setting down the basket. He looked at them with confusion then looked at me.
"Why?"
I put my hand on my hip, "You're clothes are a mess! I'm going to go and do my laundry anyway, so I figured I'd wash your clothes while I'm at it."
He looked at the clothes again and examined them.
"Will they fit..?" I asked.
He shrugged and headed to my room. I stepped out of his way and watched him shut the door.
Deciding there's no point in just standing there, I crossed the room to my kitchen. Some tea or something wouldn't be too bad right now....
I had finished the last bit of the hot liquid when I heard the latch on my bedroom door click. I looked up from my cup and watched the door swing open. Squall stood there, changed, with his old clothes in his arms. I giggled. He had the oddest look on his face. It looked like a cross between embarrassment and anger. I don't know why... I thought he looked kinda cute....
"What's the matter?" I asked standing up.
He didn't answer me, just shook his head. I shrugged and brought my empty mug into the kitchen. As I walked by the phone that hung on the pass through between the living room and kitchen, I remembered I had to call Nina. I should do that before I leave, or else I'll forget again.
I placed the mug in the sink and returned to the phone.
"I've gotta make a phone call, I'll just be a sec..." I called to Squall as I picked up the receiver. He was just sort of just standing by the door leading to the hall. He nodded and leaned against the wall.
Hmm, he hasn't changed much. Still a man of few words..... Even less words than usual. I shook my head and dialed the number.
It rang a few times, then I heard someone pick up.
"Hello?"
"Hi Nina..."
"Quisty! Where in the name of everything holy have you been?!"
I leaned my hand against the wall beside the phone, "I got back into town around midnight last night."
"Really? Where did you go?"
I rolled my eyes, "Balamb....."
There was a silence, then a slow, "....Oh........"
"Anyway, I just wanted to call and tell you that I'm fine and that I haven't gone crazy..."
I heard her chuckle, "Okay then...... Hey! Did you guys find that guy?"
I looked at Squall. He was staring at me with a strange look in his eyes.
"Uh----N-No. Nothing yet." I answered. I mentally kicked myself for stuttering when I said that.
"Oh...well I'll have my fingers crossed for you!"
I smiled, "Thanks...So I'll call you later okay?"
"Okay...See ya!"
"Bye." I hung up the receiver and rubbed my forehead. Why'd I lie to her?
I took a deep breath and walked toward the door, scooping up the laundry basket on the way. Squall stepped out of my way and let me leave first.
We were both silent the whole way down to the laundry room. It made me uneasy.... I hope he's not gonna be like this the whole time. I'll go mad!
We walked down the ground floor hall. I stopped in front of the door and pushed it open. To my surprise, there wasn't anyone else in here. Usually when I come to do my laundry, I have to share the room with about four or five other people...
I live in a pretty big building.
I set the basket down on one of the washers and opened up the machine next to it. In one quick motion I grabbed the basket and dumped all the contents in the machine. Turning to Squall, I held out my hand.
"Can I see your jacket?"
He nodded, somewhat hesitantly, and handed it over. Checking to see if there was a tag was no good, 'cause there wasn't one..
"How do you wash this...?" I muttered. It was leather, so I assumed you can't really put it in the machine. I set it aside and motioned for Squall to put his other items of clothing in. He complied, and I got the washer going.
"....What about my jacket?" he asked looking at it.
I waved my hand, "I'll hand wash it for you....."
"I can do this kind of stuff myself you know...."
I blushed and shook my head, "It's alright, I don't mind."
"...Whatever..."
Waiting for this stuff to finish is so long and boring..... but at least when I'm in here with other people we can strike up a conversation about something to pass the time.... I sat up on top of one of the washers and leaned my chin on my hands. Squall was across from me, against the wall with hims arms crossed.
"So Squall....." I started, "When are you going to call the Garden?"
He looked up, "You're still bugging me about that..?"
"You know you're going to have to."
".............."
I sat back against the wall and crossed my arms, "Why did you leave there anyway? I mean, what possessed you to take off and leave all your worldly possessions behind?"
I half expected to not get an answer, and get the usual, 'None of your business'...
"Long story..." he answered to my surprise.
I smiled, "Indulge me. Believe me, we've got plenty of time."
He shook his head, "Not right now."
"Why not?"
"I don't feel like talking about it."
"Why?"
"I just don't...."
"OH.... So it's you again. I remember you. You're the one the told me to go and talk to a wall."
He just sort of gave me an awkward look, "When did I say that?"
I shrugged, "In the Secret Area after the SeeD inauguration party.."
He raised an eyebrow, "How do you remember this kind of stuff...?"
I wagged my finger, "It's a woman thing."
To my utter astonishment, he chuckled. Well it's comforting to know he's not completely made of stone.
"How far back do you remember?" I asked.
He shrugged, "Not that far...."
I raised an eyebrow, "How far is 'not that far'?"
"I don't know, just not far."
Grr.... I'm getting a little frustrated here. How can you have a conversation with someone who keeps avoiding saying more than eight words?
I gave up trying and slid off the washing machine, my behind was numb form sitting on it for so long.
"I remember as far back as I was about twelve..." I said turning to the washing machine. The clothes were ready for the dryer now.
"But anything before that is a blur, and I'm even having trouble with things in between." I said walking over to a vacant dryer and opening it.
"Maybe now that I don't use GF's anymore----" I heaved out the dripping load of laundry, "--I'll remember a little more, day by day..." I shoved them into the dryer and started it up.
I turned toward the only window in the room and stared at it.
"I still think that it's not fair that we didn't really have a childhood...."
"What do you mean...?"
I looked at him then walked up to the window, "Well... I talk with the friends I've made here, and they all have such great memories of their family, and their childhood..... but---"
I turned back to Squall, "I feel so left out... I can't remember what my family was like, or if I had any brothers or sisters... Or what life in the orphanage was like either... It feels like I skipped that whole period of time and grew up..."
I looked away and leaned against the wall, "It just seems like we got cheated out of our innocence......"
Squall didn't say anything.
I glanced at him for a moment, then at the dryers, "Do you feel that way too....?"
"....Maybe....A little..."
I looked at him, "Yeah?"
"....Yeah..."
There was a silence. Not an uncomfortable one.... It was more of a reflecting time I suppose.
"Is that why you left?"
"Huh?"
"Is that why you quit SeeD and moved here? To remember..?"
I shouldn't have to answer that, I mean, he dodged my earlier questions....but what the hell, it'll be nice to finally talk to someone who can sort of relate..
I shook my head, "Not one of the original reasons...... It sort of just popped into my head a few months ago..."
"Then....why?"
I looked into his eyes. They seemed so... so child-like, almost fearful, yet sad. I felt my heart melt a little.
I smirked, "Long story...."
He scratched his head, "Oh yeah....."
I giggled and crossed my arms, "I don't know... I just didn't feel like it was right anymore..."
"What do you mean?"
"Well---- I... It's hard to explain......" What words could I use to explain what has been running through my head for so long?
"I guess it's that, being in Garden, becoming a SeeD, an instructor, a rebel leader, a sharpshooter, and so on ...was part of some sort of laid out destiny for all of us. It was meant to be that all of us would meet again, come together and save the world.." It's still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that we saved the world, "And after we fulfilled the last task of saving the world, we would have a new destiny. I did my part.... and realized the night of the festival that being in SeeD was no longer needed, or wanted by me. It was my destiny to fight, but not forever. So, I left, and I hope to one day make a new destiny for myself...."
He sort of smirked, "And what kind of destiny would that be..?"
I blushed. That's something that I would probably never work up the nerve to say aloud... especially to him...
"Do you believe in destiny...?" I asked sort of sheepishly.
"...I----"
I looked at him. I was opening a lot of my heart to him today.....but not all of it... He looked at me then at the floor.
"I...don't know."
"How come....?" It would just make everything worth it if he would open up...just this once...
".............." he shrugged, "....I guess, I used to always think that we made our own destiny...... I remember Cid told me a long time ago that it was my destiny to lead the army against the sorceress... To be the leader, the hero.... I didn't want that though... I hated the idea that we didn't have a choice in our life... that everything was preset for us to follow, like a train on its tracks. It seemed so unfair and cruel to have people follow a plan that they had no say in, or any idea what will happen to them in the end......"
I clasped my hands over my chest and felt my heart beat. It's rhythmic tone was getting a little faster. I feel so much better now, that he's finally spoken, and confided in me. What he thinks about sometimes. His views...
"I don't know, I think that we do have a set path for a time in our lives, but after we've walked that path, we're free to live as we choose.... It seems to make sense that way..."
He nodded slowly, "Maybe you're right......."
Maybe...just maybe this was the moment I've been waiting for....maybe I should open my whole heart up to him.. Maybe it's time I say what I really feel.......
"...When I saw Rinoa at the Garden yesterday..." I began.
Squall looked at me.
"Her necklace..... You're ring was gone." I started blushing furiously, "I was just wondering..... why?"
He looked away, "Well-----I---"
I took a few steps closer, "What....?" He stood up straight and looked into my eyes. It felt like he could see into me..... Like we were connected for that moment...And I wished...I wished it could last forever........
His features softened.... he opened his mouth to speak then.........
The door flew open.
Some people filed in and started to take their places at the various washing machines.
The moment was gone.
Squall looked away, making me feel so alone and empty..... I looked at the floor.
I wanted to cry right there..... What if a moment like that never happens again? The thought was too much to bare.....
The buzzer on the dryer went off knocking me out of my wretched thoughts. I opened it up and dropped all the clothes into the basket. They seemed a lot heavier than they did when I first brought them down.
"We better get going......" I said sullenly as I walked ahead towards the door. I could hear Squall's footsteps behind me.
Trying to balance the basket on my knee, I struggled to open the door. He came up beside me.
".....I..I can carry that if you want.." he said pointing to the basket.
I shook my head and looked at him, "You don't have to... I'll be fine.."
He reached out and lifted it away from me, "It's alright.......I want to...."
I stood there for a moment and smiled. To my surprise, he smiled right back.
"Thank you....." I said.
For everything........
I sat in my room for a long time after we returned to my apartment. I was trying to nap a bit more, and I think I succeeded because when I looked out the window, the sun was already low in the sky.
Squall was in the other room calling Garden no doubt. He said he would talk to them in the evening.
I know I forced him to do it. After all, everyone's still afraid he's dead somewhere...
But, I don't want him to leave......
It would be nice if he could stay here.....y'know..with me.
I shook my head sending away the notion... That's just silly....
I glanced at my watch. It was a lot later than I thought. It was already 6:00. Time to get ready for work....
I brushed my hair and put it up into a bun. I pulled out a few hairs, framing my face.
Grabbing my uniform out of the closet, I stopped and looked at it.
It suddenly reminded me of the outfits the waitresses at all the SeeD parties had worn. It was a white button-up shirt with a collar, a true blue coloured vest, and a black skirt that came to about mid-thigh, and of course the black tie. I remember the first time I wore it, I was so self-conscious. I was really afraid about my first day of work. I had never had a job like this before.. I've been training to be a SeeD pretty much my whole life.
I didn't spill any drinks on anyone, or trip over anything....so the day had turned out just fine.
I slipped it on and looked in the mirror. It took me forever to learn how to do up the tie properly. Tera helped me though. After I finally got it done up I stepped back and looked myself over.
Who knew I'd leave behind one uniform, and end up getting a another one?
I exited the bathroom and stepped into my black high heels. Yet another hurdle that took me forever to jump.. I'm just glad I only have to wear them for work.
Apparently tonight some singer is starting their career in our lounge.
I hope they're good. I had to listen to one sing for hours, and I thought my headache would never go away, but I felt so awful for them because they were trying so hard.
I went to open my door when I faintly heard Squall talking.
He must still be talking to Cid...
I leaned against the door and checked my watch, It was only 6:20. I guess I can wait 'til he's done..... I sighed and closed my eyes, I hope I'll be able to concentrate tonight. Between everything that's happened in the passed few days it might be a little hard to keep my mind on track.
"...I....ow.." I heard. I could only catch bits and pieces of what he was saying.
".....o....am I.." I raised and eyebrow. I never realized how strange some things could sound... This sort of reminds me of the time we stayed at Balamb hotel, and listened to Zell talk to the Library girl the next morning.
"...I.....ure.."
What IS he talking about anyway..? My curiosity was getting the better of me, I pressed my ear against the door, but found that it still didn't help.. I heard a lot more gibberish for the next few minutes, then judging from Squall's tone a voice a think he was wrapping up the conversation. I wonder how long he's been talking to them.....?
I heard the sound of the receiver being hung back up. I waited for a few moments, so it didn't seem like I had been listening, then I opened the door.
He was sitting on the couch, arms crossed, with his nostalgic frown.
"...I called Garden." he said without looking up.
"....Yeah? What did they say?"
"Not much."
My heart sank, we're right back to square one...oh man...
I shook my head and headed towards the door, "Well, are you going to be fine here on your own for a while?" I turned back and looked at him.
He furrowed his brow and looked at me. He sort of looked me up and down and answered, "Why?"
I grabbed my jacket off the coat rack and pulled it on, "I have to go to work. I'll be back around 2:00.."
"Where do you work..?"
I blushed, "Waitressing at the bar in the Hotel."
He kind of smirked, but then caught himself.
I put my hands on my hips, "Go ahead and laugh.."
He looked surprise, "I'm not laughing..."
I scratched my head, "....Oh. Well anyway, you can have the run of the apartment while I'm gone. There's food in the fridge if you get hungry..."
I snatched my purse off of the table and put my hand on the doorknob, "I'll see ya."
"Bye." I heard him answer. I opened the door, stepped out into the hall, and shut it behind me. Sighing, I turned down the hall and headed for the elevator.
"Hey there Quisty!" I heard Nina cry as I entered the lounge. I waved my hand and smiled.
"You're a little early."
I turned to see Dylan cleaning some wine glasses with a cloth. I shrugged and took off my jacket. I handed it and my purse to him.
"Could you put these behind the bar? I don't feel like going to hang them up." He gave me an odd look and did as I asked. I looked around and realized there weren't any customers.
"Where is everyone?" I asked. Usually at this time we have hotel guests and regulars filling the place.
"You mean you like lugging around tray after tray of drinks?" Dylan asked in a sarcastic tone.
I shook my head, "No. I just think it's odd no one's here...."
He shrugged, "Just a slow night I guess..."
"Maybe not." Nina said. I looked to see her pointing at the stairs. Some people were standing there looking the place over.
"Must be tourists.." Dylan muttered setting down the wine glass.
I leaned against the bar and watched Nina get them settled in. No matter what circumstances she's been under, she's always managed to greet the customers with a smile. I sighed. I wish I could do that. I'll have my moments sometimes when I get harassed by a rude customer who insists I messed up their order. Or there's the odd one who just treats you like dirt even if you didn't even speak one word to them.
"Where's Tera?" I asked looking back to Dylan.
"Got the night off..."
That's strange, "Why?"
He shrugged, "I don't know."
"Oh you're a big help.." I said sarcastically.
"I'm paid to pour drinks, not to be helpful..."
I raised an eyebrow, "But, isn't pouring people's drinks, being helpful?"
He stopped cleaning glasses and gave me a blank look. He blushed and scratched his head, "I guess...so."
I chuckled and grabbed a tray off the counter. These things can hold a lot of glasses at a time. That's the problem though, you have to balance this thing so nothing spills all over the place. I've seen that happen once or twice, and it's not pretty...
I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Nina, "The next one's are yours." she said motioning to the stairs again. I sighed and walked towards them.
The night was going smoothly. Lots of people had shown up, I guess to hear the new entertainment. Though whoever that was hadn't shown up yet.
After bringing over another drink tray, I returned to the bar and leaned on the counter.
"Slow night huh?" I laughed at Dylan. He handed an elder gentleman a martini and came over to me.
"So I'm wrong sometimes.." he smiled.
I looked around, "What time is it?"
He checked his watch, "...9:30.."
"Isn't that new singer a tad bit late?"
He shook his head, "They should be in any minute now."
"I hope they'll be here soon......"
"Yeah. They're not a singer though."
"Really? That's what Dave said.." Dave works the earlier shift. If I come in early sometimes he'll still be here and we end up chatting for a bit.
"Nah. This one's a pianist."
I smiled. Hadn't Rinoa's mother been a piano player too? How nostalgic.....
"What are you all smiley about?"
I shook my head, "It's nothing. Just remembering something.."
He raised an eyebrow then looked towards the door.
"Speaking of that, there she is now." My eyes widened a little and I looked in the direction he was looking. I brown-haired woman in a shimmering black dress started to walk down the stairs. She was awfully pretty, and awfully nervous. I could see that her hand was gripping the railing of the stairs kind of hard. Poor thing, but she must have a lot of guts to come this far....
Nina walked up and stood with us as we watched the woman take a seat behind the huge piano. She sat there for a moment and just stared at the thing, I guess trying to get as much concentration as she could. Then with a deep breath, she set her hands to the keys.
I smiled, the sound that came from that old piano was beautiful... Almost sweet, yet a little sad. It's hard to describe it, but it was truly beautiful. I looked at Dylan and Nina. They were both smiling too. I guess that woman was nervous for nothing.....
Everyone in the place stopped and listened. All you could hear through the whole lounge was the lovely music.
Only after she hit the last key and sat back, did anyone move. Applause erupted throughout the room, and some people even yelled compliments and whistled. The girl just seemed to blush and smile.
"Good for her...." Dylan said. I looked at him and then at the woman. He was just sort, staring at her with this grin on his face... Nina and I looked at each other and smirked. She elbowed him in the ribs and winked.
"She's kind of cute isn't she..?" she said slyly. His eyes widened and I laughed as his face turned crimson.
"W-What are you talking about..?" he muttered looking away.
Nina giggled and grabbed her tray, "Oh nothing....." She gave me a smile and headed over toward one of the booths.
The girl played into the night, the bar was pleasant, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.
I waved to Nina as I made my way up the stairs. My shift was over, and I couldn't wait to get home.
It's kind of strange, but I felt like I have someone to go home to..... Even if it wasn't in 'that way'
But I can pretend can't I....?
I unlocked the apartment door and slowly pushed it open.
Squall's probably asleep....I don't wanna disturb him.
To my surprise, I saw the soft glow of the television. I opened the door wider and stepped in, shutting it behind me. I smiled and tilted my head.
Squall was sitting on the couch. His face downcast, and shoulders softly moving up and down with each breath. I wonder how long he's been asleep? He looked so peaceful...
I quietly took off my jacket, purse and shoes, then tip-toed the best I could toward my room.. Just as I was about to step in....
"Quistis..?"
I stopped and turned around, "Hi."
I made my way over and sat in the easy chair, "How long have you been sitting here..?"
He shrugged and rubbed his eyes, "A while I guess...."
I looked at the VCR clock, "It's almost 2:30 in the morning..... You should be getting some rest."
"...Yeah, I know....but-" he crossed his arms, "-but I wanted...."
I blushed, "Were you waiting up for me...?"
He nodded slowly, "..Yeah."
I blushed even more, "Thanks.... but you didn't have to.."
He shrugged again and leaned back. He has a hard time admitting he's being thoughtful sometimes....
I smiled, "Well, I'm going to get some sleep......" I stood up and headed toward my room. I hesitated then turned around to look at Squall, "Did you want my room? I don't mind sleeping on the couch again.."
He looked up from the T.V. and shook his head, "It's alright."
I shrugged, "Good night then..."
"Good night.."
I turned back to my room and stepped in shutting the door behind me.
I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.
What a wonderful day this has turned out to be.... I only hope tomorrow will be just as memorable...
To be continued.......
Author's Note: What did you think? The piano piece that I had in mind for that woman to play was Rydia's theme from FF4. If you ever get a chance, listen to it! It's really beautiful.
Now, I know people are probably saying, 'When's this really gonna turn into a Quall?', but since this is, (as I said near the beginning of this chapter), the second last chapter, the wait will be over soon.. -_o
So until the final chapter... I'll see ya, and thank you for reading!!!!
Author's Note: Well, I'm back! This is the second last chapter, so that means this is gonna be over soon...
*sniff* Oh well, I had a blast writing it! So here's Chapter 4!
All I Really Want
(Chapter 4: A Single Moment)
I had a lot of fun trying to open my apartment door, and keep Squall from falling face first into the wall at the same time. After a couple minutes I finally managed to get the door open. I glanced around making sure no one was around, and I helped Squall inside.
Thing is now, where am I going to put him?
After a moment of thought I directed us toward my room. I opened the door with a soft nudge of my foot and helped him onto the bed. I took a deep breath and wiped my forehead. This was pretty hard work. I looked him over, trying to assess which wounds I should 'tend to first, then went to the bathroom in search of face cloths, and bandages. After a few minutes of rummaging through my medicine cabinet and sink cupboard, I came back with what I needed.
As I headed toward the bed, my head felt incredibly light. I stumbled and braced myself on the wall for a moment..... I am so tired.....
I looked at Squall. He had fallen asleep. I wish I could get some sleep too, but it'll have to wait. Letting out a tiny groan, I headed toward the side of the bed and flicked on the lamp on the night stand. I looked around for something to sit on, and ended up dragging a chair in from the table in my living room.
I sat down, and slowly reached my hand toward him, but I hesitated. I was almost afraid to touch him. I guess because ever since I remember, he seemed untouchable, invincible. It's strange to see him in such a sorry state. He didn't even look this worn out when he had gotten the scar on his forehead.
Fighting the little demons in my head, I brushed back his hair with my hand and started wiping away the blood that was caked around his forehead and hairline. I found the source was a gash a few inches above his temple. It wasn't very big, so I guess the bad ones are the ones on his chest, unless he's become incredibly soft in the last couple of months. I unrolled some bandage and carefully lifted his head up so I could wrap them around.
This would be a lot easier if he wasn't asleep!
I sighed and fastened the gauze, then got up and headed for the bathroom to soak another face cloth.
When I returned, Squall was awake and touching the bandages on his forehead.
"So the sleeping beauty has awakened!" I said chuckling as I stood at the foot of the bed. He sat up a little and looked at me,
"Where am I?"
I walked over and sat back down on the chair beside the bed, "You're in my room."
He blinked and looked around.
"You don't remember the trip up here do you?"
He furrowed his brows, but didn't answer me.
I sighed again, "Well, since you're awake, I'm gonna have to ask you to take your shirt off."
I almost burst out laughing at the look he gave me. Maybe I should have phrased that a little differently.
Shaking my head I held up the bandages, "You have some pretty nasty wounds on your chest do you not?"
He looked away, "I'm fine."
Hah! Whatever.
"If you're so fine, then why did you practically pass out?" I pointed at his blood-stained shirt, "And I suppose those are just ketchup stains...."
He didn't answer me.
"C'mon. don't make this difficult." That got him. He sighed and pulled off his jacket. I took it from him and put it over the back of the chair. When I turned back to him he was just sitting there.
"The shirt too." I said crossing my arms.
He gave me a sour look, "I'm fine, really."
I rolled my eyes, "I'm not going to take advantage of you or anything." He growled and hesitantly pulled his shirt off, and put it on the bed beside him. To my surprise he looked a little sheepish.
I suddenly felt my face get hot... No, I won't let that interfere with the task at hand.
I swallowed hard and reached for the damp cloth.
"Did you ever make it this hard for the infirmary doctors?" I said more as a comment than as a question. I was implying it as a joke to loosen him up, but judging from the fact that he looked away, I guess my attempt at humor didn't work.
I was right. The bad wounds were on his chest. His whole upper body was covered in dry blood.
What the hell happened? There were gashes here and there.
Did he just stand in front of some Fastitocalon and say, 'Come and get me'? In any case, I got to work and cleaned him up the best to my ability. I suddenly felt very thankful I had gotten first aid lessons from Dr. Kadowaki a long time ago.
I sat back and looked him over.
Almost worthy of Dr. Kadowaki herself. I had a little grin of satisfaction as I got up and collected all of the items I had brought out of the bathroom.
"I'm done." I said as I stood up. I tried to contain my giggle as Squall hastily pulled his gray t-shirt back on. It was funny to see him all shy.
I returned everything to it's rightful place. As I was about to exit the bathroom, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Oh Hyne I looked awful. My hair was all disheveled, my clothes wrinkled and dirty. I looked like I've been to Hell and back. Oh well.....
I returned to find Squall trying to get out of bed. I rushed over and blocked his path.
"Where do you think you're going?" I said in the tone I haven't used since I was an instructor, "You should rest."
He tried to push me aside, "I'm fine.... I'm just going to walk around for a bit....."
"Nuh uh, get some sleep. Besides, it's really late anyway."
He gave up and sat back down on the bed, "You haven't changed much..." he said with a little grin.
I blinked and scratched my head, "What are you talking about?"
"You can still sound like an instructor from Garden when you want to."
At the mention of the Garden, I remembered where, and what I had been doing for the passed nine hours.
I sighed, and reached for the phone on the night stand, "Speaking of the Garden, I better call them and tell them you're alright...."
He reached over and grabbed my hand.
"Don't......" he said.
I looked at him, "What?"
"I said don't call them."
"Why? They're all worried about you! They've been searching the entire Balamb area for you!"
He just stared at me, "I don't want them to know where I am....."
I raised an eyebrow, "Are you serious. You're going to let everyone worry about you? What about Rinoa? You don't think that she's wondering what happened to you." I remembered Rinoa's odd behavior back at the Garden. Was she worried about him? I couldn't tell, she ended up changing the subject by asking me if I loved----
Oh yeah.
I cleared my throat and suddenly became aware of Squall's hand on mine. I slowly pulled my hand back, unsure of what to do now. A part of me wanted to call and inform Garden, but another part of me didn't want to. Mainly, I wanted to know what was going on. I decided I wouldn't ask him now, I'll let him recover a little first. But why doesn't he want the Garden to know he's okay? This is really strange....
"Fine." I said standing up. Squall looked incredibly relieved when I said that.
"You better have a good reason for taking off from there." I said crossing my arms, "If you had any idea what kind of state the Garden's in right now."
He just sat there. Silent.
I leaned down so we were eye level.
"Just promise me you'll call them tomorrow. You know Cid would have let you gone on leave of absence if you had asked him, instead of taking off....."
He shook his head, ".............."
I tried to look as sympathetic as possible, although secretly I'm absolutely furious with him, but I'm pretty happy that he's here and safe.
"Promise me. Please?"
He slouched a little, "Fine then...." he said staring into my eyes. I smiled as nicely as I could and put my hand on his shoulder.
"Well, get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning.." I stood up straight and turned toward the door.
"Don't you want your bed back?"
I shook my head, "Nah. I'll sleep on the couch." I continued toward the door.
"Good night." I said turning back to look at him. He nodded, which I assumed was a response. I shut the door behind me and leaned on it. Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes.......
I still have so many questions I want to ask, but I'm so damned tired....
I groggily stumbled toward my couch and started pulling all the pillows and cushions off of it. Stopping only to yawn, and thank the heaven's that my couch was a pull out, I managed to get the bed set up. I stacked the cushions neatly beside it, and dropped all the pillows at the head of it. If only I had my pajamas.......
No, Squall's probably asleep already, I won't disturb him.
I pulled off my soaking wet boots and put them beside the door. Taking off my jacket I realized that there were two sets of muddy footprints leading into my bedroom.
Dammit......
Screw it. I'll clean them up tomorrow. I shut off the light and made my way back to the couch bed.
I think I fell asleep before my head even hit the pillow.....
I awoke the next morning to the sound of my television set. I slowly sat up and rubbed my eyes. Looking to my right, I saw Squall sitting in my old easy chair flipping through the channels... This scene looked so odd. I never would of thought in a million years that he'd ever watch television.
That's so stupid, why do I assume things like that? I guess I don't know him as well as I should.
"What time is it...?" I asked leaning back on my hands.
There was a delayed silence, then Squall answered, "Eleven.."
I stretched and pulled the sheet I had used as a blanket off of me. I was still sort of tired, but in all honesty, I think over ten hours sleep was good enough. I swung my legs off the side of the bed and sat there for a moment. I should call Nina and the others first off to tell them everything's alright.
There's something I'm forgetting. What else was I supposed to do today?
Oh. Go to work. That's not 'til 7:00 though.
I slowly stood up and headed for my bedroom. Shutting the door behind me, I started to undress.
I definitely need a hot shower, I probably smell like I went on a safari through Kashkabald Desert. I ran around a lot yesterday, looking all over that island for someone who ended up on my doorstep.
Ugh.... All of that for nothing. Oh well, at least he's not dead in a ditch somewhere.
I stepped into the shower and carefully turned on the water, making sure I don't freeze, or scald my self to death. I bent down and pushed up the little sliding button on top of the tap, I felt the warm water trickle onto my back, then gradually get stronger and turn into a spray. It felt so nice on my skin, and I could've probably just stood in there for hours....
I threw my dirty clothes into the laundry basket on the floor of my closet. It was starting to get full.....I better get going and wash that stuff...
Speaking of laundry, Squall probably needs one pretty bad. Between the blood and the dirt, his clothes are probably a disaster....
I grabbed a blue shirt with 3 1/4 length sleeves off of a hangar, pulled it on, and walked over to my dresser. Rummaging through the drawers, I found my pair of jeans and I slipped them on.
I went to grab the laundry basket when I realized something.
Squall's gonna need something to wear if I'm going to wash his clothes......... I don't think I have anything for him, unless--
I reached up to the top shelf in my closet and pulled down a large rectangular box.
These were going to be a present for Dylan's birthday...... But it's still a couple weeks away, I'll just get him something else.
I opened the box and pulled out the beige khakis, and navy blue t-shirt. These cost me a bundle too... I can't believe how much they charge for clothes now a days...
I opened the door, and found Squall still sitting in front of the T.V. He didn't even acknowledge my presence until I tossed the clothes at him.
"Change into those.." I said setting down the basket. He looked at them with confusion then looked at me.
"Why?"
I put my hand on my hip, "You're clothes are a mess! I'm going to go and do my laundry anyway, so I figured I'd wash your clothes while I'm at it."
He looked at the clothes again and examined them.
"Will they fit..?" I asked.
He shrugged and headed to my room. I stepped out of his way and watched him shut the door.
Deciding there's no point in just standing there, I crossed the room to my kitchen. Some tea or something wouldn't be too bad right now....
I had finished the last bit of the hot liquid when I heard the latch on my bedroom door click. I looked up from my cup and watched the door swing open. Squall stood there, changed, with his old clothes in his arms. I giggled. He had the oddest look on his face. It looked like a cross between embarrassment and anger. I don't know why... I thought he looked kinda cute....
"What's the matter?" I asked standing up.
He didn't answer me, just shook his head. I shrugged and brought my empty mug into the kitchen. As I walked by the phone that hung on the pass through between the living room and kitchen, I remembered I had to call Nina. I should do that before I leave, or else I'll forget again.
I placed the mug in the sink and returned to the phone.
"I've gotta make a phone call, I'll just be a sec..." I called to Squall as I picked up the receiver. He was just sort of just standing by the door leading to the hall. He nodded and leaned against the wall.
Hmm, he hasn't changed much. Still a man of few words..... Even less words than usual. I shook my head and dialed the number.
It rang a few times, then I heard someone pick up.
"Hello?"
"Hi Nina..."
"Quisty! Where in the name of everything holy have you been?!"
I leaned my hand against the wall beside the phone, "I got back into town around midnight last night."
"Really? Where did you go?"
I rolled my eyes, "Balamb....."
There was a silence, then a slow, "....Oh........"
"Anyway, I just wanted to call and tell you that I'm fine and that I haven't gone crazy..."
I heard her chuckle, "Okay then...... Hey! Did you guys find that guy?"
I looked at Squall. He was staring at me with a strange look in his eyes.
"Uh----N-No. Nothing yet." I answered. I mentally kicked myself for stuttering when I said that.
"Oh...well I'll have my fingers crossed for you!"
I smiled, "Thanks...So I'll call you later okay?"
"Okay...See ya!"
"Bye." I hung up the receiver and rubbed my forehead. Why'd I lie to her?
I took a deep breath and walked toward the door, scooping up the laundry basket on the way. Squall stepped out of my way and let me leave first.
We were both silent the whole way down to the laundry room. It made me uneasy.... I hope he's not gonna be like this the whole time. I'll go mad!
We walked down the ground floor hall. I stopped in front of the door and pushed it open. To my surprise, there wasn't anyone else in here. Usually when I come to do my laundry, I have to share the room with about four or five other people...
I live in a pretty big building.
I set the basket down on one of the washers and opened up the machine next to it. In one quick motion I grabbed the basket and dumped all the contents in the machine. Turning to Squall, I held out my hand.
"Can I see your jacket?"
He nodded, somewhat hesitantly, and handed it over. Checking to see if there was a tag was no good, 'cause there wasn't one..
"How do you wash this...?" I muttered. It was leather, so I assumed you can't really put it in the machine. I set it aside and motioned for Squall to put his other items of clothing in. He complied, and I got the washer going.
"....What about my jacket?" he asked looking at it.
I waved my hand, "I'll hand wash it for you....."
"I can do this kind of stuff myself you know...."
I blushed and shook my head, "It's alright, I don't mind."
"...Whatever..."
Waiting for this stuff to finish is so long and boring..... but at least when I'm in here with other people we can strike up a conversation about something to pass the time.... I sat up on top of one of the washers and leaned my chin on my hands. Squall was across from me, against the wall with hims arms crossed.
"So Squall....." I started, "When are you going to call the Garden?"
He looked up, "You're still bugging me about that..?"
"You know you're going to have to."
".............."
I sat back against the wall and crossed my arms, "Why did you leave there anyway? I mean, what possessed you to take off and leave all your worldly possessions behind?"
I half expected to not get an answer, and get the usual, 'None of your business'...
"Long story..." he answered to my surprise.
I smiled, "Indulge me. Believe me, we've got plenty of time."
He shook his head, "Not right now."
"Why not?"
"I don't feel like talking about it."
"Why?"
"I just don't...."
"OH.... So it's you again. I remember you. You're the one the told me to go and talk to a wall."
He just sort of gave me an awkward look, "When did I say that?"
I shrugged, "In the Secret Area after the SeeD inauguration party.."
He raised an eyebrow, "How do you remember this kind of stuff...?"
I wagged my finger, "It's a woman thing."
To my utter astonishment, he chuckled. Well it's comforting to know he's not completely made of stone.
"How far back do you remember?" I asked.
He shrugged, "Not that far...."
I raised an eyebrow, "How far is 'not that far'?"
"I don't know, just not far."
Grr.... I'm getting a little frustrated here. How can you have a conversation with someone who keeps avoiding saying more than eight words?
I gave up trying and slid off the washing machine, my behind was numb form sitting on it for so long.
"I remember as far back as I was about twelve..." I said turning to the washing machine. The clothes were ready for the dryer now.
"But anything before that is a blur, and I'm even having trouble with things in between." I said walking over to a vacant dryer and opening it.
"Maybe now that I don't use GF's anymore----" I heaved out the dripping load of laundry, "--I'll remember a little more, day by day..." I shoved them into the dryer and started it up.
I turned toward the only window in the room and stared at it.
"I still think that it's not fair that we didn't really have a childhood...."
"What do you mean...?"
I looked at him then walked up to the window, "Well... I talk with the friends I've made here, and they all have such great memories of their family, and their childhood..... but---"
I turned back to Squall, "I feel so left out... I can't remember what my family was like, or if I had any brothers or sisters... Or what life in the orphanage was like either... It feels like I skipped that whole period of time and grew up..."
I looked away and leaned against the wall, "It just seems like we got cheated out of our innocence......"
Squall didn't say anything.
I glanced at him for a moment, then at the dryers, "Do you feel that way too....?"
"....Maybe....A little..."
I looked at him, "Yeah?"
"....Yeah..."
There was a silence. Not an uncomfortable one.... It was more of a reflecting time I suppose.
"Is that why you left?"
"Huh?"
"Is that why you quit SeeD and moved here? To remember..?"
I shouldn't have to answer that, I mean, he dodged my earlier questions....but what the hell, it'll be nice to finally talk to someone who can sort of relate..
I shook my head, "Not one of the original reasons...... It sort of just popped into my head a few months ago..."
"Then....why?"
I looked into his eyes. They seemed so... so child-like, almost fearful, yet sad. I felt my heart melt a little.
I smirked, "Long story...."
He scratched his head, "Oh yeah....."
I giggled and crossed my arms, "I don't know... I just didn't feel like it was right anymore..."
"What do you mean?"
"Well---- I... It's hard to explain......" What words could I use to explain what has been running through my head for so long?
"I guess it's that, being in Garden, becoming a SeeD, an instructor, a rebel leader, a sharpshooter, and so on ...was part of some sort of laid out destiny for all of us. It was meant to be that all of us would meet again, come together and save the world.." It's still hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that we saved the world, "And after we fulfilled the last task of saving the world, we would have a new destiny. I did my part.... and realized the night of the festival that being in SeeD was no longer needed, or wanted by me. It was my destiny to fight, but not forever. So, I left, and I hope to one day make a new destiny for myself...."
He sort of smirked, "And what kind of destiny would that be..?"
I blushed. That's something that I would probably never work up the nerve to say aloud... especially to him...
"Do you believe in destiny...?" I asked sort of sheepishly.
"...I----"
I looked at him. I was opening a lot of my heart to him today.....but not all of it... He looked at me then at the floor.
"I...don't know."
"How come....?" It would just make everything worth it if he would open up...just this once...
".............." he shrugged, "....I guess, I used to always think that we made our own destiny...... I remember Cid told me a long time ago that it was my destiny to lead the army against the sorceress... To be the leader, the hero.... I didn't want that though... I hated the idea that we didn't have a choice in our life... that everything was preset for us to follow, like a train on its tracks. It seemed so unfair and cruel to have people follow a plan that they had no say in, or any idea what will happen to them in the end......"
I clasped my hands over my chest and felt my heart beat. It's rhythmic tone was getting a little faster. I feel so much better now, that he's finally spoken, and confided in me. What he thinks about sometimes. His views...
"I don't know, I think that we do have a set path for a time in our lives, but after we've walked that path, we're free to live as we choose.... It seems to make sense that way..."
He nodded slowly, "Maybe you're right......."
Maybe...just maybe this was the moment I've been waiting for....maybe I should open my whole heart up to him.. Maybe it's time I say what I really feel.......
"...When I saw Rinoa at the Garden yesterday..." I began.
Squall looked at me.
"Her necklace..... You're ring was gone." I started blushing furiously, "I was just wondering..... why?"
He looked away, "Well-----I---"
I took a few steps closer, "What....?" He stood up straight and looked into my eyes. It felt like he could see into me..... Like we were connected for that moment...And I wished...I wished it could last forever........
His features softened.... he opened his mouth to speak then.........
The door flew open.
Some people filed in and started to take their places at the various washing machines.
The moment was gone.
Squall looked away, making me feel so alone and empty..... I looked at the floor.
I wanted to cry right there..... What if a moment like that never happens again? The thought was too much to bare.....
The buzzer on the dryer went off knocking me out of my wretched thoughts. I opened it up and dropped all the clothes into the basket. They seemed a lot heavier than they did when I first brought them down.
"We better get going......" I said sullenly as I walked ahead towards the door. I could hear Squall's footsteps behind me.
Trying to balance the basket on my knee, I struggled to open the door. He came up beside me.
".....I..I can carry that if you want.." he said pointing to the basket.
I shook my head and looked at him, "You don't have to... I'll be fine.."
He reached out and lifted it away from me, "It's alright.......I want to...."
I stood there for a moment and smiled. To my surprise, he smiled right back.
"Thank you....." I said.
For everything........
I sat in my room for a long time after we returned to my apartment. I was trying to nap a bit more, and I think I succeeded because when I looked out the window, the sun was already low in the sky.
Squall was in the other room calling Garden no doubt. He said he would talk to them in the evening.
I know I forced him to do it. After all, everyone's still afraid he's dead somewhere...
But, I don't want him to leave......
It would be nice if he could stay here.....y'know..with me.
I shook my head sending away the notion... That's just silly....
I glanced at my watch. It was a lot later than I thought. It was already 6:00. Time to get ready for work....
I brushed my hair and put it up into a bun. I pulled out a few hairs, framing my face.
Grabbing my uniform out of the closet, I stopped and looked at it.
It suddenly reminded me of the outfits the waitresses at all the SeeD parties had worn. It was a white button-up shirt with a collar, a true blue coloured vest, and a black skirt that came to about mid-thigh, and of course the black tie. I remember the first time I wore it, I was so self-conscious. I was really afraid about my first day of work. I had never had a job like this before.. I've been training to be a SeeD pretty much my whole life.
I didn't spill any drinks on anyone, or trip over anything....so the day had turned out just fine.
I slipped it on and looked in the mirror. It took me forever to learn how to do up the tie properly. Tera helped me though. After I finally got it done up I stepped back and looked myself over.
Who knew I'd leave behind one uniform, and end up getting a another one?
I exited the bathroom and stepped into my black high heels. Yet another hurdle that took me forever to jump.. I'm just glad I only have to wear them for work.
Apparently tonight some singer is starting their career in our lounge.
I hope they're good. I had to listen to one sing for hours, and I thought my headache would never go away, but I felt so awful for them because they were trying so hard.
I went to open my door when I faintly heard Squall talking.
He must still be talking to Cid...
I leaned against the door and checked my watch, It was only 6:20. I guess I can wait 'til he's done..... I sighed and closed my eyes, I hope I'll be able to concentrate tonight. Between everything that's happened in the passed few days it might be a little hard to keep my mind on track.
"...I....ow.." I heard. I could only catch bits and pieces of what he was saying.
".....o....am I.." I raised and eyebrow. I never realized how strange some things could sound... This sort of reminds me of the time we stayed at Balamb hotel, and listened to Zell talk to the Library girl the next morning.
"...I.....ure.."
What IS he talking about anyway..? My curiosity was getting the better of me, I pressed my ear against the door, but found that it still didn't help.. I heard a lot more gibberish for the next few minutes, then judging from Squall's tone a voice a think he was wrapping up the conversation. I wonder how long he's been talking to them.....?
I heard the sound of the receiver being hung back up. I waited for a few moments, so it didn't seem like I had been listening, then I opened the door.
He was sitting on the couch, arms crossed, with his nostalgic frown.
"...I called Garden." he said without looking up.
"....Yeah? What did they say?"
"Not much."
My heart sank, we're right back to square one...oh man...
I shook my head and headed towards the door, "Well, are you going to be fine here on your own for a while?" I turned back and looked at him.
He furrowed his brow and looked at me. He sort of looked me up and down and answered, "Why?"
I grabbed my jacket off the coat rack and pulled it on, "I have to go to work. I'll be back around 2:00.."
"Where do you work..?"
I blushed, "Waitressing at the bar in the Hotel."
He kind of smirked, but then caught himself.
I put my hands on my hips, "Go ahead and laugh.."
He looked surprise, "I'm not laughing..."
I scratched my head, "....Oh. Well anyway, you can have the run of the apartment while I'm gone. There's food in the fridge if you get hungry..."
I snatched my purse off of the table and put my hand on the doorknob, "I'll see ya."
"Bye." I heard him answer. I opened the door, stepped out into the hall, and shut it behind me. Sighing, I turned down the hall and headed for the elevator.
"Hey there Quisty!" I heard Nina cry as I entered the lounge. I waved my hand and smiled.
"You're a little early."
I turned to see Dylan cleaning some wine glasses with a cloth. I shrugged and took off my jacket. I handed it and my purse to him.
"Could you put these behind the bar? I don't feel like going to hang them up." He gave me an odd look and did as I asked. I looked around and realized there weren't any customers.
"Where is everyone?" I asked. Usually at this time we have hotel guests and regulars filling the place.
"You mean you like lugging around tray after tray of drinks?" Dylan asked in a sarcastic tone.
I shook my head, "No. I just think it's odd no one's here...."
He shrugged, "Just a slow night I guess..."
"Maybe not." Nina said. I looked to see her pointing at the stairs. Some people were standing there looking the place over.
"Must be tourists.." Dylan muttered setting down the wine glass.
I leaned against the bar and watched Nina get them settled in. No matter what circumstances she's been under, she's always managed to greet the customers with a smile. I sighed. I wish I could do that. I'll have my moments sometimes when I get harassed by a rude customer who insists I messed up their order. Or there's the odd one who just treats you like dirt even if you didn't even speak one word to them.
"Where's Tera?" I asked looking back to Dylan.
"Got the night off..."
That's strange, "Why?"
He shrugged, "I don't know."
"Oh you're a big help.." I said sarcastically.
"I'm paid to pour drinks, not to be helpful..."
I raised an eyebrow, "But, isn't pouring people's drinks, being helpful?"
He stopped cleaning glasses and gave me a blank look. He blushed and scratched his head, "I guess...so."
I chuckled and grabbed a tray off the counter. These things can hold a lot of glasses at a time. That's the problem though, you have to balance this thing so nothing spills all over the place. I've seen that happen once or twice, and it's not pretty...
I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned around to see Nina, "The next one's are yours." she said motioning to the stairs again. I sighed and walked towards them.
The night was going smoothly. Lots of people had shown up, I guess to hear the new entertainment. Though whoever that was hadn't shown up yet.
After bringing over another drink tray, I returned to the bar and leaned on the counter.
"Slow night huh?" I laughed at Dylan. He handed an elder gentleman a martini and came over to me.
"So I'm wrong sometimes.." he smiled.
I looked around, "What time is it?"
He checked his watch, "...9:30.."
"Isn't that new singer a tad bit late?"
He shook his head, "They should be in any minute now."
"I hope they'll be here soon......"
"Yeah. They're not a singer though."
"Really? That's what Dave said.." Dave works the earlier shift. If I come in early sometimes he'll still be here and we end up chatting for a bit.
"Nah. This one's a pianist."
I smiled. Hadn't Rinoa's mother been a piano player too? How nostalgic.....
"What are you all smiley about?"
I shook my head, "It's nothing. Just remembering something.."
He raised an eyebrow then looked towards the door.
"Speaking of that, there she is now." My eyes widened a little and I looked in the direction he was looking. I brown-haired woman in a shimmering black dress started to walk down the stairs. She was awfully pretty, and awfully nervous. I could see that her hand was gripping the railing of the stairs kind of hard. Poor thing, but she must have a lot of guts to come this far....
Nina walked up and stood with us as we watched the woman take a seat behind the huge piano. She sat there for a moment and just stared at the thing, I guess trying to get as much concentration as she could. Then with a deep breath, she set her hands to the keys.
I smiled, the sound that came from that old piano was beautiful... Almost sweet, yet a little sad. It's hard to describe it, but it was truly beautiful. I looked at Dylan and Nina. They were both smiling too. I guess that woman was nervous for nothing.....
Everyone in the place stopped and listened. All you could hear through the whole lounge was the lovely music.
Only after she hit the last key and sat back, did anyone move. Applause erupted throughout the room, and some people even yelled compliments and whistled. The girl just seemed to blush and smile.
"Good for her...." Dylan said. I looked at him and then at the woman. He was just sort, staring at her with this grin on his face... Nina and I looked at each other and smirked. She elbowed him in the ribs and winked.
"She's kind of cute isn't she..?" she said slyly. His eyes widened and I laughed as his face turned crimson.
"W-What are you talking about..?" he muttered looking away.
Nina giggled and grabbed her tray, "Oh nothing....." She gave me a smile and headed over toward one of the booths.
The girl played into the night, the bar was pleasant, and everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves.
I waved to Nina as I made my way up the stairs. My shift was over, and I couldn't wait to get home.
It's kind of strange, but I felt like I have someone to go home to..... Even if it wasn't in 'that way'
But I can pretend can't I....?
I unlocked the apartment door and slowly pushed it open.
Squall's probably asleep....I don't wanna disturb him.
To my surprise, I saw the soft glow of the television. I opened the door wider and stepped in, shutting it behind me. I smiled and tilted my head.
Squall was sitting on the couch. His face downcast, and shoulders softly moving up and down with each breath. I wonder how long he's been asleep? He looked so peaceful...
I quietly took off my jacket, purse and shoes, then tip-toed the best I could toward my room.. Just as I was about to step in....
"Quistis..?"
I stopped and turned around, "Hi."
I made my way over and sat in the easy chair, "How long have you been sitting here..?"
He shrugged and rubbed his eyes, "A while I guess...."
I looked at the VCR clock, "It's almost 2:30 in the morning..... You should be getting some rest."
"...Yeah, I know....but-" he crossed his arms, "-but I wanted...."
I blushed, "Were you waiting up for me...?"
He nodded slowly, "..Yeah."
I blushed even more, "Thanks.... but you didn't have to.."
He shrugged again and leaned back. He has a hard time admitting he's being thoughtful sometimes....
I smiled, "Well, I'm going to get some sleep......" I stood up and headed toward my room. I hesitated then turned around to look at Squall, "Did you want my room? I don't mind sleeping on the couch again.."
He looked up from the T.V. and shook his head, "It's alright."
I shrugged, "Good night then..."
"Good night.."
I turned back to my room and stepped in shutting the door behind me.
I couldn't wipe the smile off my face.
What a wonderful day this has turned out to be.... I only hope tomorrow will be just as memorable...
To be continued.......
Author's Note: What did you think? The piano piece that I had in mind for that woman to play was Rydia's theme from FF4. If you ever get a chance, listen to it! It's really beautiful.
Now, I know people are probably saying, 'When's this really gonna turn into a Quall?', but since this is, (as I said near the beginning of this chapter), the second last chapter, the wait will be over soon.. -_o
So until the final chapter... I'll see ya, and thank you for reading!!!!