Truths
~ ~ ~
When
Hermione reached the Transfiguration classroom it was nearly deserted, as it
was still fifteen minutes before the start of class. She sought out a table at
the back of the room, hoping to brush up on her Transfiguration of Live Animals
notes. But her mind kept straying to Harry, and the task at hand. Without
thinking she began to rehearse what she would say.
"Hey, Harry! Listen… No, that's not
right… Harry, we need to talk… Harry! Hey! How's it going?"
"Or how about 'Harry, can I talk to
you?'" Harry's voice said from behind her. Hermione nearly jumped a foot. She
swiveled around, clutching at her heart.
"Oh, Harry, heh. You nearly scared
me to death! Where's Ron?" she asked, hoping to draw Harry's attention from
what he'd overheard.
Harry sat down, facing her, looking
concerned. "Hermione, is something wrong? You've been acting kind of strange
all day."
"No, nothing at all," Hermione lied.
"Nothing you want to tell me?" Harry
pried.
"Nope."
"Are you sure?
"Yup."
"Absolutely positive?" Her one-word
answers didn't seem to be enough for him. Hermione cracked.
"Oh…okay, there is, but I can't tell
you now."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Why
not?" he asked inquisitively.
"Just meet me in the common room at
11 o'clock tonight. There! Are you satisfied?" Without waiting for an answer,
she stood up and left the room. Once she was around the corner she leaned
against the wall and slid to the ground. Hermione curled up into a little ball,
just wishing to float away from her problems. I'm so-
Someone tapped her foot. "Hey," Ron
said. "What's with you?"
Reluctantly, Hermione stood, facing
him. Ron was a good eight inches taller than her, but she still looked him
straight in the eye. "Nothing." She laughed. "Everything. Absolutely
everything. I'm hopeless, confused, and in quite a predicament."
Ron looked confused, so she said,
"If you've got a minute after class I'd be happy to elaborate for you. But for
now I think we'd better get to class." Ron nodded, and they began to walk back
to the classroom.
Upon
reaching their destination, Hermione and Ron entered the class to find Harry
sitting in the back by himself, apparently deep in thought. However, he looked
up as soon as they approached him. As Hermione sat down she heard Harry
whisper, "What's going on?"
"No clue whatsoever," Ron replied,
his voice low so that Hermione wouldn't hear. Hermione stared straight ahead,
bracing herself for the class and the rest of her miserable day.
~ ~ ~
After Transfiguration was over,
Hermione dashed out of the classroom knowing full well that she was supposed to
speak with Ron. Rounding a corner, she recognized Ron's voice calling after
her. "Hermione! Wait up!" She pretended not to hear him until he caught up with
her in the gardens. Hermione turned around, not quite knowing where to begin.
"Hermione, what's-"
"Wait," Hermione interrupted. "I'm
not good at awkward conversations, so it would be best if I started talking
before I lose the nerve altogether." Ron nodded, and Hermione thought for a
moment longer. "Okay. Just for one moment, pretend that you're not who you are.
Pretend that you've fallen in love with the perfect person, at least in your
eyes. Everything about them is…absolutely wonderful," Hermione said with a
faint smile, "but there's a catch. This person is infatuated with someone else.
But this person-"
"Hermione, you're losing me. Just
say what you wanted to say, no strings attached."
"I-I-I think I've fallen in love
with Harry," Hermione said in a small voice. Ron looked shocked at first, and
then sighed.
"Wow. That's…wow." He couldn't seem
to manage more.
Hermione groaned. "That's not even
half of it. Remember this morning when I went to get my bag from the common
room? Well… I walking down a hall when I heard Cho tell some other guy that she
was going to use Harry, dump him, and move on to 'bigger and better things.'"
Hermione said all of this very fast, and then felt her eyes begin to water up.
"Oh, Ron, I don't know what to do! I want Harry to be happy, but I feel that he
needs to know what's going on. If I tell him he might hate me forever, but if I
don't he'll be absolutely crushed when Cho…" She couldn't even finish before
dissolving into tears. "I'm just so scared of losing him," she whispered before
Ron grabbed her shoulders.
"Hey,"
he said sympathetically. "You'll work this out. We both know that Harry needs
to know. And," he paused before continuing, "he should hear it from you."
"I know," she said, her crying
stopped now. "I've already arranged to talk to him tonight."
"So…how long have you known?"
"Known what?"
"That you're in love with him."
Hermione laughed bitterly. "I've
known my whole life, Ron." She looked out to the forest and sighed. "That's
what making this so hard."
~ ~ ~
Somehow Hermione managed to make it
through her remaining classes, none of which she had with Harry or Ron, without
breaking down. During Arithmancy Hermione watched the clock turn to 5:30 p.m.
Class was dismissed with no homework. Only 5 ½ more hours till eleven…Hermione
went straight to her dorm, not in the mood for dinner. Stopping outside of her
door, Hermione listened to make sure that no one else was in the dorm. It was
indeed empty, so Hermione opened the door and crawled onto her bed. She decided
to take a nap, as this was going to be a long night.
~ ~ ~
When Hermione awoke, the wall
mounted clock read 10:37. Glancing around the room she saw that her roommates
were already asleep. Strange. It's barely 10:30 on a Friday night. Oh, well.
Hermione spent the remaining 20 minutes making herself look presentable. Her
hair was matted, her clothes were rumpled, and she was in a horrible mood. Well,
at least the hair and clothes could be fixed. After brushing her hair and
putting on some jeans and a sweater, Hermione opened her door, taking a deep
breath and willing herself to be brave. I'm such a drama queen, she
thought at the back of her mind. She walked down the hair and into the empty
common room.
Harry was sitting in a chair, facing
the fire. He didn't seem to hear her come in. Hermione stood there for a
moment, looking at how the firelight made his hair appear to glow. Gathering
her courage, she started crossing the room to Harry. He looked up at the sound
of her shoe heels on the floor, and smiled. "Hey," he said, his low voice
floating away into the emptiness of the room. Hermione sat down in a chair
facing him.
"Hey." She couldn't think of
anything else at that moment. "So…"
"So…" There was a brief pause, then,
"Is everything okay? You seemed…distant today."
"Yeah, I've had a lot on my mind
lately."
"Such as…?" Hermione's heart rate
was accelerating. I can't do this. I can't hurt him.
"Are you in love with Cho?" Hermione
blurted out, then winced. Oh no, wrong question, wrong question…
Harry looked surprised, almost shocked. He seemed to recover
quickly, though. "Why?" he asked slowly.
It's now or never, Hermione
thought. "I-I heard her, uh, talking to someone earlier today. About you."
"Really? Bad things or good things?"
Oh, God, here we go. "Uh, not
exactly…good things." Harry was beginning to look worried. "She said that-that
she was using you to get something, and then she was going to dump you for
another guy." Harry was looking very worried now. "I-I don't know, I-I could
have heard her wrong, but I don't think so. She-she was kissing another guy.
Oh, Harry, I'm so sorry." The last part was barely more than a whisper.
The room was silent for a few
minutes. Then Harry's shocked expression turned into one of anger. "You're
lying," he said, his voice quaking.
"What?" Hermione said in a slightly
harsh whisper. Oh, no, he doesn't believe me. She became dizzy, and took
a deep breath to steady herself.
"You're lying. You've always been
jealous of Cho, haven't you? You just can't stand to see her happy, can you?"
Harry's voice was rising. "You're going too far, Hermione. Just back off!" He
was yelling now.
"Harry, do you really think that I'm
that immature? You know me! I would never do anything to hurt you, ever! The
last thing I want is to see you in pain. That's why I told you. I thought that
you deserved to hear it first. But now I see that you're just too God damned
stubborn to listen!!" Hermione was matching Harry's tone now. "Maybe I should
have just let Cho break your heart. I should have just let you been dragged
around on a leash. But I thought that you were too good for that. You deserve
better!"
"Who? Someone like you?
Someone who will constantly be on my back, just trying to get in on all of the
fame and glory of Harry Potter?" Hermione was shocked into silence. He
honestly thinks I'm like that? When he spoke again, his voice had returned
to a tranquil tone. "You know what? Maybe we should take a break on this whole
friend business. I don't really think that I need someone else to control my
life right now." Hermione was stunned. Whatever she had expected, this wasn't it.
Hermione looked him in the eye, and
then turned away, her eyes threatening to overflow with tears. She walked away
slowly, shaking her head. "What?" she heard him say to her retreating back, a
note of regret in his voice. She turned back to him, her vision blurred by
tears.
"It just strikes me as odd that
you're so willing and eager to throw away seven years of friendship. You almost
seem to want a reason not to trust me. I always thought that you could see
behind this wall that I've put up around myself. But I guess I was wrong."
Harry was silent, so Hermione turned around and walked back to her dorm. She
closed the door silently as not to wake her roommates. The tears were still
rolling down her face. She pulled on her pajamas, climbed into bed, and silently
cried herself to sleep.
~ ~ ~
A/n: Well, what do you think? Now that you've had two chapters of it, do you want more? I need at least 10 reviews before I put up the next one!! Come on, I know you people are reading this. I promise, the next chapter is going to kick some major butt! Oh, yeah! So give me some input! Tah-tah!