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Bondage

Homusubi's Squad aren't back with Katsuma yet, but Madara isn't looking forward to it when they are. He's always looked up to his cousin -just enough older than him to be wholeheartedly admiring as a child- and now that deep fondness and muted idolisation has shattered, leaving him feeling betrayed. It's still rattling around in his mind, the shock of that broken regard; shattered like a tea bowl, never to be the same ever again.

Objectively, it's his own fault for not recognising sooner that Katsuma-nii is just another mortal man with mortal failings; realistically, it was going to happen sooner or later. However Madara would have preferred it not be like this, with his beloved older cousin being escorted back to clan lands for speaking of clan matters to outsiders and damaging the peace that they are trying to build. Katsuma breaking their trust.

Madara knows that neither his father nor Tokonoma-san are convinced that peace is even possible, but both are at least trying; Tokonoma for the sake of his clan's future given their current disadvantage and his father because he can see the advantages that even a short peace would bring to the Uchiha. Katsuma's thoughtless sabotage -because it was thoughtless- and the deeply personal attack on Izuna undermine his attempts to keep the negotiations moving, and worse, they undermine his father.

His father does not appreciate being undermined, especially not when the one doing so has clearly not given a single moment's thought to the consequences of their actions. Izuna gets away with a lot purely because she does think long and hard and critically about the consequences of her chosen course of action; Katsuma very clearly did not even realise his bias poured into the ears of out-clan kin could be considered subverting the Outguard Head's authority.

Hopefully the long journey from Lightning will have given his cousin time to move from angry denial to clear-eyed regret. If not, Katsuma will be utterly dependent on Father being in a good mood on the day of his arrival, which is by no means assured. His cousin's fate is already all-but-decided, Kiwami-obaa having negotiated with his lord-father on Katsuma's behalf in her role as Elder of the Trading Branch; if Katsuma is suitably penitent he may secure a relenting of terms, but if he is stubbornly inflexible then Kiwami-obaa may equally agree to a harsher sentence.

Katsuma won't be executed, because he is not Outguard and thus his laxness with sensitive intelligence is not considered treasonous; however he has actively disregarded the words of both Outguard and Homeguard Head in the matter of what he was permitted to reveal to the Hatake and the manner of that revelation, and for that he will be punished. So far the Hatake seem disinclined to claim a seat at the treaty proceedings, despite their visit to the Uchiha indicating that they are well-aware that they have a stake in the negotiations. If they do decide to participate, then negotiations will have to restart and everything will be that much slower; three parties will have twice as many arguments as two parties after all, and the process becomes unbalanced as both Senju and Uchiha will try to use the Hatake to pressure their hereditary enemy into making concessions.

Awareness of that may well be why the Hatake are choosing to stay out of the matter entirely; if so, Madara appreciates their wisdom. But it does not change what Katsuma has done. Trust cannot be remade easily, and if Katsuma does not put considerable effort in it never will be remade. And even if he does put the work it, it will never be what it was; gold or silver may fill the cracks between the shards and the result will be functional -even beautiful- but it will not be what it once was.

He's not even sure that Katsuma's marriage will survive this. Misao-nee is a wonderfully kind woman, but everyone has their limits and being abandoned in central Lightning while seven months pregnant to run a newly-assembled travel party which has not yet settled into cohesiveness, oversee ongoing trade negotiations in unfamiliar territory and parent a toddler might well be hers. Misao-nee's home range is the Iron Circuit; she is likely to return to it next year, regardless of what happens to her husband.

Madara hopes that the Hatake cousins are helping her; with Katsuma being escorted south there's nobody in the party with experience of the Lightning Circuit except Meakan, who did three years under Kenashi-ji as a teenager before switching to the South Coast circuit. And that was six years ago, so they're not familiar with anything more recent than that and weren't involved in any of the actual negotiation with suppliers anyway, due to being too young and not that interested.

Most of what his cousin's betrayal has done however is highlight that the Trading Branch fall into an area of overlap between the Homeguard and Outguard, dealing as they do with domestic clan matters in an out-clan environment, which has resulted in more meetings between his father and the various in-clan Trading Branch representatives to discuss -argue about- whether they should stay under Homeguard authority or whether the Outguard should gain oversight. His father's position that the Trading Branch performs a number of diplomatic functions cannot be denied in light of Katsuma's recent subversion of that, but Ohabari-oba's position that the trading Branch's function is primarily logistical, serving to supply the clan with both goods and business-related information, is no less accurate.

Madara suspects this argument is going to persist for a long, long time even if they do get peace with the Senju; if they don't, then his father will very likely push the issue much more strongly, which is another reason to hope that the negotiations succeed. Tobirama's targeting the Trading Branch on his father's orders does prove that they would be better served to have the training and protection of the Outguard, but on the other hand the clan's trade is very much not his father's purview. His father has even admitted that it's not what he was trained for. Sending a few looking-to-marry or looking-to-retire Outguard out with the Trading branch night prove a decent compromise, but that will only work if they get peace.

One more reason to pray that the negotiations with the Senju will progress rather than remaining stalled, although Madara is at a loss in terms of who or what to pray to. Amaterasu and Susano-o have already given him all the aid they are willing to offer, which he is gradually learning to exercise appropriately, and being so marked means that other kami are overwhelmingly unlikely to bother listening to his pleas.

There's always Izuna's odd patron, but Madara's wary of getting that one's attention. They seem to have a disconcerting fondness for dramatic irony and a tendency to keep their promises in the most uncomfortable and unlikely way possible. Which fits his sister very well, but Izuna's always been more self-aware than him as well as far more able to let her failings go.

If the Aburame call for a pause in the proceedings though, then he might dare to pray. No matter what it might end up costing him, peace between the Uchiha and the Senju is more important.

"My work is important to the clan," Izumi mutters, shuffling through a stack of letters; "I am an essential part of the Homeguard, enabling them to buy goods affordably and not stumble into new and unnecessary feuds. And my future leader wants me to buy chickens. Like the clan doesn't already have perfectly good chickens!"

Inamura doesn't comment; he could say all manner of things regarding Izuna, her marriage, its political value and the new opportunities provided by this particular assignment, but his wife knows all that already; she's just irritable due to lack of sleep. Their new baby -another son, he is truly and bafflingly blessed- is only two weeks old and while very quiet, still needs feeding every few hours, and Fushimi-kun is very excited about his new younger sibling.

Izumi hasn't yet made a clear decision regarding names, but Inamura has already made his own suggestions so it's a matter of waiting for her to decide, or else to decide to let him decide. Either way, the baby's name won't begin with the 'I' sound and neither will it be a rice reference; Inamura has had quite enough of that with his own siblings, who have all suffered their father's terrible sense of humour there. Though evidently their mother found it amusing enough to not object.

"Anything interesting come up?" he asks instead.

"I have discovered that there are a surprising number of wealthy chicken fanciers," his wife says, rolling her eyes and pressing a kiss to the baby's forehead as they stir, "and both the southern coast and Tea Country have a considerable number of onagadori breeders; they're considered very aesthetic animals to keep in one's garden, being bred specifically for docility so they don't muss those ridiculous tail-feathers. There's also a range of colours; the white ones are not considered the most aesthetic -that's the five-colour ones- but they are still prized for their rarity and beauty." She sighs. "I suspect Tobirama-sama will find himself permanently entangled in correspondence with some of these people; the breeding pool for onagadori is not large and they've got rather particular housing needs, so whoever we end up buying birds from will want to keep track of them, if only to ensure the bloodline doesn't shrink further."

"Small clans and fancy chickens," Inamura says idly; Izumi lets out an undignified cackle.

"Haha?" Fushimi peeks around the half-open shoji, clutching his little wheeled cow.

"It's just your Chichi being silly, musuko," Izumi says warmly, eyes crinkling as she beams at their firstborn. "Are the Cats behaving themselves?" It's almost time to thin out the fishpond before winter and some of the younger Cats have tried to anticipate his father and remove the unwanted koi themselves.

Fushimi nods, then shakes his head. "I frow temari, Haha."

"That's my good boy; Sanae-chan will be back soon to take over pond-guarding, so just a little longer, Fushimi-kun?"

Her toddler son nods solemnly and turns back around to watch the pond, rolling his cow across the engawa in between patting his little mound of worn temari.

This happens every year; most Cats don't try to steal a koi early more than once, but there are a couple of persistent troublemakers to keep an eye on. It's not so bad in the spring, when all the plain fry are fished out, but the autumn thinning takes a more discerning eye and varies depending on the preferences of the pond's owner. Cat assistance is therefore entirely unwelcome. Some of them are thinking with their stomachs and some don't think at all, but a kitten only has to fall into the pond once to never want to do so again.

"Are the other chicken type also high maintenance?" Inamura asks, moving the conversation on from inbreeding and the perils thereof.

"The black-boned chickens? No, not at all; rather the opposite in fact. Very hardy little birds, if similarly docile; Izuna-sama will have to put up a perimeter on her garden, to keep our other birds out so they don't bully her pretty pushovers."

"Confined for their own protection," Inamura notes mildly.

"Yes, the metaphor's fairly pointed, isn't it? He's apparently in on it though, so I doubt he'll make a fuss."

"Hn." Inamura recognises that he barely knows Izuna's lovely concubine at all -mostly by reputation, which has proved entirely inadequate a knowledge base now that the man is confined with the clan compound and seeking to exercise control over his surroundings through avenues usually pursued only by rich men's cloistered spouses- and thus is reluctant to commit himself to making a clear judgement. He's had a conversation with the man all of once, and while formerly-Senju Tobirama seems content at present to limit himself to pursuing his education, raising a toddler and cajoling his wife into spending her money on him and ruining her reputation -such as it is- there is no guarantee he is truly resigned to his position.

Only time will prove his commitment, so Inamura will also wait. They have time. "The black-boned chickens will make a good gift for Kiso-kun then."

"I am sure he will be enchanted and that many other children will be as well; I foresee many parents finding themselves torn between permitting their children's sudden desire to visit the Amaterasu Residence and their own misgivings."

"That's very Izuna." A gift given honestly and kindly, with implications that will go right over the head of the delighted recipient and hit home in the hearts of those who oppose her vision for the clan.

"Hn," Izumi agrees ruefully, ducking down to kiss their baby's head again. "And due to the legal protections traditionally afforded our own chickens, only somebody who can ensure these exotic breeds will not mingle with our own birds' bloodlines is permitted to keep them. And Izuna is not sharing her selectively permeable barrier fuuinjutsu with anyone yet."

"No! Bad Kitty!"

Inamura rises and hurries out onto the engawa, crouching to grab one of the temari and throw it -far more accurately than his son managed- at the feline miscreant trying to steal the Inari Lineage's koi. The black and white Cat retreats with an undignified yowl as the cloth ball hits the water right in front of its nose, spraying it with droplets and scaring off the juvenile koi it was about to try and catch; Inamura resolves to have words with Torao-kun, so his complaint against Tōzoku-neko can be registered with the Cat Bosses. He has no illusions that the thieving Cat will be permanently stopped -Cats are too tricky for that- but at least the compound might be free of the incorrigible hunter's depredations for a few months.

"Good work, Fushimi-kun," he says gravely, ruffling his son's hair as the Cat flees the scene of the crime. "I'll report him to Torao-san once your Sanae-nee comes to take over for us."

His son nods firmly, visibly outraged at Tōzoku's shamelessness. "Bad Kitty!"

"Yes, Thief-Cat is a very bad kitty," Inamura agrees gently, "and Torao-san will report him to the Boss Cats, who will put him in time-out for us."

"Hn!" Fushimi clearly feels the punishment is insufficient for such a heinous crime, but he does settle back on the engawa and very righteously pick up his cow rather than shouting, flailing or bursting into tears, so Inamura counts it as a win.

Kenji doesn't know Izuna-sama personally, but he knows a lot of other Sora-ku people who do know them personally -if generally only very briefly- and he knows -oh how he knows- that how a person treats their servants says something about them, but how they treat those who have nothing to offer at all says considerably more.

Uchiha Izuna, warrior, trickster, kuge and shinobi, is groundlessly, consistently and profoundly kind, especially to those who have nothing to give and are in desperate need of more than they can afford. It's deeply disconcerting actually; Kenji knows the Uchiha aren't rich. Noble yes, stupidly refined in breeding and bloodline, but rich? No. If they were rich they wouldn't be turning a blind eye to the black market in exchange for nominal taxes or sending their high-strung blue-blooded young warriors with their beautiful, perilous, valuable eyes here, there and everywhere to guard caravans, investigate fraud accusations and burn down the occasional house for affluent merchants and petty noblemen.

Kenji is a thief; he knows what things cost. And while it's well-known in the Underworld that trying to steal an Uchiha's eyes will get you very dead and everybody who has ever sheltered you dead as well, dead and burned to ashes leaving no property or goods behind, there are still whispers. Rumours and murmurs of how somewhere there are buyers for such things. Buyers who will pay you in gold, so much gold that Kenji's honestly not surprised that somebody tried a few months back.

It all ended in death and ash, of course, but most people don't know Uchiha like Kenji does and it makes them stupid. They don't realise that the Uchiha are the oldest and most senior kuge clan because they have not only outlived all their rivals, but defend their own privileges as viciously as a cornered vixen. They are not a rich clan or even a particularly well-regarded clan, but they are still here.

Kenji suspects they'll still be here long after the current daimyo families have fallen. They were here before them, after all, and for all that the various current daimyo try to tout themselves as inheritors of imperial authority, some of them have been ruling for fewer generations than he has fingers.

And he has fewer fingers than most.

Admittedly, getting pulled in by the Uchiha was deeply weird. It's not the kind of thing that's supposed to happen, and looking back Kenji still can't quite believe it did happen. It wasn't even Izuna-sama who did it; it has been an Uchiha Squad investigating a theft who had cornered him, swiftly determined he was not the culprit of this particular incident and then enlisted his familiarity with the local criminal fringe in exchange for three meals a day until their mission was over and then suggested that, if he'd like to continue eating at the Uchiha Clan's expense, he should make his way to Sora-ku.

He'd found out later the Uchiha who'd recruited him had got the idea of 'consulting the locals' from Izuna-sama; the Amaterasu Head will never accept the debt, but Kenji knows he owes and is doing what he can to pay forward, like Izuna-sama always talks about.

But some people in Sora-ku don't seem to have understood that the Uchiha are that particular kind of nobility that got to where they are now by being better at what they do than everybody else and getting away with everything along the way through charisma and sheer outrageousness, like the well-established yakuza families that are considered 'respectable' enough after all these generations to almost go straight.

The Uchiha are shinobi; what they do is only legal on their own land and people hire them because of that. Anybody working in Sora-ku should know that!

"You were gambling with Izuna-sama?!"

"I didn't know it was Izuna-sama!" Atsushi wails, slumped miserably on a stool in his haori and underwear. "I thought it was one of the usual Uchiha with a pretty nobleman they were fleecing!"

"So Tobirama-sama was there was well," Yūta says dryly without glancing up from the book he's writing in.

"That was the White Demon?!"

Kenji rolls his eyes and punches his idiot friend on the shoulder. "That was the Drowning Breath, yes." Yes, non-Uchiha generally do call Tobirama-sama 'the White Demon' but it's a really stupid name when that could refer to pretty much any Hatake. There are at least three other shinobi in Lightning, Frost and Hot Water that regularly get referred to as 'the White Demon' so adding yet another is ridiculous when 'the Drowning Breath' is so much more distinctive.

Also, it's important for Uchiha to distinguish between actual Hatake and the one Senju with a Hatake face, given the feud; one of the 'White Demons' is distant kin to the Trading Branch, so meeting her on a mission has completely different implications to meeting Senju Tobirama. Who is admittedly much harder to recognise with the long hair and out of the blue plate armour.

Atsushi looks like the world has betrayed him. "He was drunk and giggling and dressed up like a peacock! With hair falling out of his topknot as he pawed at the pregnant lady in his lap like a rich fool who spends more time picking outfits than budgeting for them! His lucky streak was going to end eventually!"

Kenji laughs. "He got abducted off the battlefield, of course he's making a point to look like that; he wants to be underestimated."

"You got fleeced by professionals," Yūta agrees dryly, turning a page. "Be grateful they restrained themselves and kicked you out of the game after you lost your kimono rather than letting you stay and lose your haori, sandals, next month's wages and your life savings."

Atsushi groans like a rusty hinge and buries his face in his hands.

"And why were you gambling with Uchiha anyway?" Kenji wants to know. "They all cheat and you know it; they're banned from every reputable gambling establishment on the continent!"

"It was dice, not cards!"

"Uchiha can see into the future and you were playing dice with one."Kenji rolls his eyes. "You deserved to lose your kimono, Atsushi-baka."

The morning's negotiations have started with half an hour of snide arguing that, as is becoming depressingly usual, goes absolutely nowhere new; it's frankly a relief when Aburame-sama steps into a pause in the sniping to announce he will serve tea. She makes brief eye-contact with Madara -who flashes her a pained, sympathetic smile that's barely a twitch of the lips- and then lowers her gaze to politely contemplate her teacup.

Thankfully the weather's cooler now that they are well into autumn and today is almost chilly, so she's actually very comfortable in her fancy furisode and padded middle layer, despite the fussy knot her wide obi has been tied in that still makes her feel slightly off-balance. She has so much more sympathy for Tobirama now, and considerable respect for how quickly he was able to adapt to wearing obi with large behind-the-back knots.

In the polite quiet caused by all present drinking tea, Izuna's delighted giggle rings like a bell. Oh no…

"Treasure!"

"Hm?" It's not even a word, but that deep, pleased and taunting sound is depressingly familiar to Tōka, to that point of it prompting her to glance around automatically in search of a distraction. Her eyes skate across Madara's face, but she can't meet his eyes because he's closed them, very visibly trying to will away the interruption. Going by volume, they're sitting right outside so they have to know-

"Ah, hn, are you-?"

A chuckle from her dreadful cousin. "Any reason why I shouldn't, Lord-Wife?" a pause for breath, "Now, you were saying about the negotiations?"

"The negotiations," Izuna repeats, tone hazy and voice wobbling slightly. Madara's shoulders are stiff and he's ducked his head over his teacup, eyes still closed as though he's trying to drown in his drink. Tōka also wishes to drown herself; she's already heard enough to know what's coming and be dreading it.

"Why my esteemed father-in-law and uncle are going to make no progress at all and the treaty will get no further than it has already, then fall apart within the decade, Lord-Wife," Tobirama says playfully, as though he doesn't know damn well he's got an audience. There's a faint restless shuffling from both ends of the hall, the warriors standing by uncertain of what to do about this irregular interruption. She can't see Obaasan from here -she's sat on her father's other side- but Tōka doesn't need to see her to know that she is not remotely amused by this. Alas, all of Tobirama's vaunted sense has been subverted into Izuna's schemes, which are never simple or direct; there are always layers and sufficient incentive to make all the participants dance to her tune, willingly or not.

"Yes," Izuna agrees, voice firming up. "It's about power, best-beloved; peace would be good for both our clans, good for all the people in the clans, but given peace between us, both my father and your uncle will lose personal power, and that is why the negotiations will fail."

Tōka dares to steal a furtive glance at Tajima-sama; the Uchiha Outguard Head is sitting perfectly upright with his teacup in both hands, eyes lidded and shoulders lax as though he has gone mysteriously deaf. Next to him Madara has opened his eyes again and is now staring blankly past her ear, his chakra squirming miserably just on the edge of perception.

"Elucidate," Tobirama demands; Izuna gasps then obediently continues, voice slightly unsteady:

"You said the strongest warrior leads the Senju; not the best negotiator or most able politician or even the best strategist, but the strongest warrior. How does that benefit the clan in peacetime? Force of arms and personal power only benefit a wartime leader, as in peace what matters is being able to argue persuasively on the behalf of one's dependents and manage money well, as well as have the training and imagination to seek out profitable new ventures. If somebody has spent their life pursuing strength, they will not have those skills."

Tobirama hums encouragingly; Tōka very much wants to get up, march outside and throw her sandals at him, but doesn't quite dare. Tajima, her uncle and Aburame-sama are all acting as though they can't hear anything and seeing as she is in a purely supporting role here, she has to follow their lead. No matter how much she might wish otherwise.

Which means suffering through overhearing her little cousin seducing his wife while she talks to him about politics, again. She'd thought she'd escaped this! Izuna knows they're all here! Her evil plot has them all trapped by good manners and Tajima's obstinacy!

"And My Lord-Father, well." A sharp breath and a shaky sigh. "He's Outguard Head, responsible for protecting the clan. But if there isn't a war, then how much protection is really needed? Yes, the Outguard Head is also the diplomatic representative, but note that in a purely diplomatic role the Outguard Head is meant to represent the needs of the wider clan, which would mean following the lead of the Homeguard Head, whose duty it is to know and attend to those needs. Relative power would effectively reverse in peacetime; with security no longer the driving imperative, the Outguard would reduce in prominence. And my father is not a fool, he knows this."

"You don't think either of them is going to make peace, because doing so will reduce their own power and influence within the clans, making them answerable to others rather than holding unquestioned authority," Tobirama muses, then chuckles. "So cynical, my heart."

"Ah! I like to think I'm a realist, Treasure," Izuna counters wryly. "Based on observed behaviour, I think I'm right. What do you think, Tobirama?"

"I think," -his voice is slightly muffled and Izuna giggles again- "that my wife slightly overestimates the self-awareness of the individuals in question."

"Oh you dreadful-!" a faint slap of flesh on flesh. "Even if they don't consciously know, it's still there, Tobirama. Neither man's a fool; if they haven't consciously noticed, they'll still know. And knowing on that level can have even more marked an effect, as it's instinctual. Neither of them -Tobirama- neither of them's got this far as a warrior by ignoring their instincts, have they?"

"My Lord-Wife," Tobirama says, voice deep and rumbling and disgustingly self-satisfied, "is, of course, completely correct. I bow to her superior understanding of politics and the human condition."

"Tease."

"I would never," Tobirama lies blatantly, "torment my most honoured royal spouse in so crass a manner. I am wounded by your insinuations, beloved."

"Wounded?" Izuna repeats, audibly amused.

"Stricken!" Tobirama complains spuriously, tone indicating he's having the time of his life and isn't about to stop. "I may wither away from grief."

Tōka finds herself meeting Madara's gaze; there is a fleeting instant of grim commiseration before her counterpart sits back on his heels, puts his empty cup firmly down on the tatami and visibly retreats inside his own head, lidded eyes glassy. As further giggles, gasps and fleshy sounds drift in from outside, Tōka feels bitterly jealous of that particular trick.

She sips her tea; even if she puts down her cup like Madara has, it won't bring the end of the break around any faster, because Tajima is yet to even sip his tea and the break won't end until he has. He's done this before, dragged out the break by apparently savouring his tea and giving 'proper thought' to how negotiations should proceed, so they're not going to be rescued from the sex show any time soon. Izuna knows exactly how they are all going to react to this, which is why she's doing it at all.

Her father isn't rushing his own tea either; Tōka wonders how seriously he's taking Izuna's words. It's true that, if they weren't needing to fight on a daily basis, then mission assignment becomes the clan's most important task rather than battlefield leadership. And that's a job which, while nominally done by the Clan Head, she's actually doing most of at the moment. It requires a grab-bag of skills which have nothing to do with physical strength, such as a good memory for things you've read in intelligence reports recently, a solid understanding of budgeting, geography, travel times and who gets along with who as well as their actual skills and strengths. She's getting better at it, but there's been a definite learning curve.

Honestly, the top peacetime skills for running the clan are probably good manners, fiscal responsibility and a high degree of literacy, as well as being good enough at reading people to delegate effectively. None of which the Senju actively train their warriors in. Well, not in any kind of structured manner, anyway; Tōka learned to budget from her mother and reading people comes naturally, although delegation was learned by example as a new warrior when taking missions with a senior warrior who told her what she'd be doing.

Some of those examples were bad examples, but she still learned.

"So," Tobirama asks, voice deep and slightly breathless and Tōka hates the images that spring to mind, "if a successful peace treaty means our respective clans' military leaders are going to lose power, who is going to gain it?"

"Asking the smart questions, Treasure."

"You abducted me for my brain."

"That I did. Well, first of all, to our respective clans' primary producers; that's farmers and craftspeople, those who create things that bring in money. War is primarily an expense after all, so with that expense no longer a duty the people whose work was bringing in the money or goods to pay for that expense abruptly have more bargaining power. After all, the clan will not perish if they tithe a little less and keep those proceeds for themselves, will it?"

"Hence your silk investment and suggesting pottery to your father and brother; clever wife."

"Hn." It's almost a giggle. "I am poised to become disgustingly personally wealthy, yes, and I have every hope more clansmen will follow my example once being a warrior is no longer considered the only honourable career. There are better ways to provide for one's kinsmen, less expensive and risky while still pleasantly challengi-ah!"

"My Lord-Wife seems a little… distracted," her asshole cousin notes smugly. Tōka does not want to know how her horrible cousin made Izuna lose her thread just then, but the pillow book has given her ideas that she regrettably cannot purge from memory.

"I assure you, Tobirama! You have my, full attention, as always," Izuna manages breathlessly.

"Are you implying that I am distracting?"

"I would never, imply, such a thing, Treasure; you are utterly distracting."

Tobirama laughs and there's a very pleased sound from Izuna, then more fleshy noises she's regrettably familiar with overhearing now. Tōka takes a vicious sip of her tea and accidentally makes eye-contract with Tajima; the litigious scum-bucket has the audacity to look amused at the non-consensual voyeurism they're all being subjected to!

"It won't just be the clan heads, will it Izuna?" Tobirama muses, his attention very clearly elsewhere.

"Nah; lot of ambitious warriors are gonna throw a hissy fit; what good's a warrior when there's no fighting?" Izuna agrees, voice wavering. "Go fight elsewhere for money? Oh look, the other side hired the only people who can match us on the battlefield whoops -um yes there - and oh look, we're feuding again."

Tobirama makes a deeply unimpressed noise, then hums smugly as Izuna whimpers breathily. "Need to be contingencies for sabotage then?"

"Hn. Yeah. Contingencies -please-"

Behind Tōka somebody takes in a hissing breath through their teeth, reminding her that it's not just Obaa-san on her father's other side and the warriors guarding the fusuma, but two aunties sitting behind her. She'd thought being stuck in the Diplomatic Quarters with her over-amorous cousin was bad but this is so. Much. Worse. How are they so shameless?!

"Such as?" Tobirama's tone is pure tease for all it sounds like he's struggling to breathe evenly as well.

"To-bi-ra-maaa," Izuna whines.

"Talk to me about con-tin-gen-cies," Tobirama sing-songs meanly.

"Meanie. Contingencies. Actions of individuals not assumed to be clan policy. Trials before both clans. Explicit, reciprocal. Demilitarising. Sponsored, retraining -Tobirama fuck me properly or-"

The sudden not-really-silence is worse than the talking; Madara shrinks into himself, a grimace on his face like he either wants to commit murder or possibly suicide.

"Or what, Lord-Wife?" Tobirama murmurs teasingly after an excruciating pause, nauseatingly post-coital.

"I'll cut off your fish," Izuna replies breathily, tone all smug vindictiveness.

"Anything but that," her cousin counters, abruptly alarmed.

"Anything? Anything at all?"

"Well-" Tobirama says consideringly, but whatever comes next is thankfully muffled as Tajima firmly sets down his teacup and turns to Aburame-sama:

"If Aburame-dono would excuse me, I have a family matter to attend to."

"Would Uchiha-dono prefer for negotiations to be suspended for today?"

"No: I am sure this will take no time at all, and it would be improper to snub Senju-san when nothing of import has yet been discussed today." Tajima rises to his feet and turns towards the fusuma behind him, Madara also rising hurriedly and darting after him.

"We will also repair to the antechamber for a remission, Aburame-sama," Tokonoma says distantly, bowing politely then rising to his feet; Tōka swiftly emulates him, hustling her aunts out of the room ahead of them.

This. Is not going to be fun.

She hates Izuna so much!