Title - The Perfect Slayer
Author - Harmony
Rating - PG-13
Description - Buffy is resurrected, but there's something wrong. Will love snap her out of it?
Disclaimer - Joss Whedon, and co own it all. I just played with them. I am reluctant to give Spike back.
Dedication - Hilary gave me her ideas and let me run wild with them. Big huge thankyou's and hugs to Hilary.
---
"Our offering, our brother, the demon, Mai'lach."
The fire crackled, and the words droned on in a chant. A group of ten robed figures sat around the flames, hands linked to form a circle.
"Receive our brother. Life for life."
The largest demon of the circle stood, and his black eyes reflected the orange glow of the fire. The hooded face seemed to consist only of a pair of eyes.
Pulling his hand from a pouch hanging from his waist, he threw a handful of herbs onto the fire. A blinding white light enveloped the clearing for a second, stunning the assembled into silence.
"We offer a life, for hers. Deliver to us, she, the one, the chosen, the protector of innocent."
The chants began again. The standing demon seemed to take a breath, before
stepping into the fire.
The material he wore was engulfed in flames in seconds, and nine remaining bowed their heads, as if in prayer, as the figure disappeared, leaving a pile of ash behind.
"Our leader, the demon, Kea'lach. Bring forth the chosen one"
The fire raged on, as Kea'lach stood from the circle, and threw more herbs onto the fire. Along with a new burst of white light, a scream pierced the air.
As the light faded again, a murmur travelled around the group. The fire burnt away, revealing the still body of a woman.
The demons moved slowly forward, and peered down.
They gasped, as the woman opened her eyes, and blinked away a drowsy feeling.
She reached a hand up, to brush away the stray hairs covering her eyes, and tried to sit.
The demons gasped as she groaned in pain, and felt the back of her head, wincing when she touched a bruise.
"Owwww...Oh god."
Kea'lach reached his hand out, and helped her to her feet. The woman groaned again, and shook the stiffness out of her legs and arms.
"Why does my head hurt so much?" she whined, to the assembled group "Who are you?"
Kea'lach stood back, and looked at her from top to bottom. She was dressed in white, her burial attire, and a few wilting flowers adorned her hair.
"We have brought you back, from death. We are Neoris demons. You are the slayer, recently passed."
The woman rolled her eyes
"I know. I'm Buffy Summers," the woman said slowly, as if talking to a child. Buffy looked at her surroundings, and wrinkled her nose "Why am I back?"
The nine demons stared at her, and laughed nervously amongst themselves.
"What are you laughing at? I want to know. Why'd you bring me back?"
Kea'lach dismissed the other demons with a wave of his hand, and began walking with Buffy.
"I am Kea'lach. We brought you back, to fulfil your destiny. Your death was
unexpected. Untimely. We've delayed the calling of a new slayer"
Buffy shook her head in frustration, not understanding
"Tell me, do you remember how you died?" The demon cocked it's robed head, and Buffy frowned
"Not really. Just that I fell. My head hurts. That's about it."
Buffy got the feeling he would be smiling if he had a face.
"You dived from the tower. To save the world."
"I see." Buffy sounded impressed.
Kea'lach shrugged
"Precisely. There is however something you should know."
Buffy rolled her eyes
"There always is. Okay, what now? I'll grow horns? My hair will turn blue? Oh god."
Kea'lach turned to face her
"What is it?" he asked, concerned
"My hair. It won't turn blue will it?"
Buffy grinned, and Kea'lach sighed, slightly amused
"It seems your personality was restored. When we brought you back, we brought the Slayer back. Not necessarily Buffy Summers. Our intention was to take the parts of you that we saw fit for a slayer, and reject the parts we didn't."
Buffy's jaw dropped
"You mean I'm not all here? What did you leave behind?" Buffy's eyes darted, as she worried
The demon held a hand up to calm her panic
"How do you feel about..." Kea'lach lifted his head to the sky to jog his memory
"Spike?" he finished
Buffy shrugged
"He's a vampire. Pathetic. He had a strange obsession with me."
Buffy blinked. It didn't feel right to talk like that about Spike, but something urged her to. The demon waved his hand, to show he'd proven a point
"We dismissed any feelings you may have had about your friends, and family. Slayer's don't have friends or family. You will just have negative emotions towards them. We came across a particularly disturbing feeling of love for a demon. We banished that too. You won't be tied to these people anymore. They caused your death. We brought you back. You are indebted to us now."
Buffy nodded, and wrinkled her nose.
"So I just carry on slaying."
Kea'lach nodded, and handed her a bag of powder, similar to the one around his waist.
"If you require assistance, use this." He pointed to the bag, and Buffy looked at it, puzzled "Find somewhere to stay. Begin again."
Buffy tried to ask more questions, but he disappeared before she had a chance to.
------------------
"Goodbye Xander, Anya. I'll see you later"
Dawn closed the apartment door behind her, and adjusted the school bag on her
shoulder.
She'd lived with Xander and Anya since Buffy died. Her father had remained out of reach, and it was the easiest option.
Blinking against the bright morning sun, Dawn walked along the path, keeping her eyes on the floor. Every morning, she stopped at Buffy's grave, and visited Spike to make sure he was eating. Every morning she made her way to school, rarely taking her eyes off her feet.
When she did it was a robotic movement, at regular intervals to check her path. This morning, something in her path made her stop in her tracks.
"Buffy?"
The teenager ran towards the figure, coming out of an alleyway.
The blonde woman turned to face the voice, and stumbled as the girl threw her arms around her neck.
"Buffy. You...you're back. It's you. How? I mean. Wow. This is huge. How did you get back? How long? When? Who did this?"
Buffy stepped out of the tight embrace, and put her hands up to give herself some space.
"That's a whole bunch of questions, and you wouldn't understand if I tried to explain."
Dawn bounced excitedly on the spot, and gestured at a bench. They sat down, and Dawn stared at Buffy.
"What? What are you looking at?" Buffy asked, impatiently
Dawn smiled again, and shook her head
"I can't believe it. You're back. We have to tell Xander. And Willow. Oh, and Spike."
Buffy frowned
"No. We don't. I'd rather not. I've just been resurrected. I don't need everyone pawing all over me."
Dawn smiled, oblivious to Buffy's comments.
"Are you hungry? This is insane. But you're back"
Buffy stared off into the distance
"What happened to all my clothes? I went by Revelled, but I can't get in the place"
Dawn gestured in the direction of the cemetery.
"We, uh, Spike has some of them. He-he kept what we didn't..." Dawn's voice trailed off, and Buffy stared at her
"You gave my clothes away?"
Dawn smiled nervously, afraid of Buffy's angry tone
"It's not important. I've missed you so much."
The teen threw her arms around Buffy's neck again, and the slayer's face softened, before pulling back again.
"Would you stop doing that? Jeez."
Dawn frowned at Buffy and looked at the ground again.
"I just thought...Aren't you pleased to see me?"
Buffy bit her nails idly, and shrugged
"This isn't about you now, Dawn. Think you could stop and think about someone else for once?"
Dawn bit her lip, and blinked back tears
"Buffy, why are you being so horrible? What's the matter with you? You're my sister. I missed you"
Buffy rolled her eyes and put her hands on Dawn's shoulders.
"You think someone would have made you realise. You aren't my sister. You're a ball of energy. A Key. A thing. I don't have a sister."
Dawn choked on the deep breath she took, and stood up from sitting.
"I can't believe you just said that. I...Oh god. I have to go"
Taking one last look at Buffy, Dawn turned and ran back towards Xander's apartment.
Buffy watched her go, and ducked her head away, willing back a few tears that had formed upon seeing Dawn cry. Seconds later, she stood up, and shrugged, before walking towards the cemetery
-----
Spike stared at the TV. He appeared to be watching it, but the static on the screen gave it away. He simply stared. A few empty blood packets littered the floor, and he kicked at them with the toe of his boot.
A cigarette burnt down to the filter in his hand, and he flicked it across the crypt.
Without looking, he opened the packet again, and sighed when confronted with
another empty box, destined to join the pile of empty boxes forming a pile in the
corner of his worn down sofa. He'd just have to wait for Xander to arrive with another packet.
His eyes lit up when he saw a reflection in the TV screen.
"Spike"
The vampire looked up from the screen and smiled at Buffy, who'd just slammed his crypt door open, and walked in.
"Buffy"
She came to a stop behind his sofa, and his smile faded.
"You're not real. You keep turning up, but you always fade away when I try to touch you. You're not really there. See?"
Spike lifted his hand, and brushed it across the back of Buffy's hand laying on the
back of the sofa.
His eyes widened when she didn't fade away, as she usually did when he imagined her. She'd haunted him since the night she died. She'd be dancing in the Bronze when he drank away his sorrows with Xander. She'd be fighting a vampire in the cemetery, when he went to take his frustration out on a demon. She'd be sitting next to him in his crypt watching Passions with him. But she'd never be real.
"Buffy?"
The slayer stared at Spike. He looked worse than he'd ever looked. Paler if possible, and the blue eyes she'd remembered as clear and sparkling, were now dull and grey. A sob caught in her throat when he got up, and looked at her, in awe. As he came closer, she blinked renewing the venom she'd entered his crypt with.
"Spike. Dawn told me you have some of my clothes," she said, coldly.
Buffy cocked her head as Spike smiled with a happiness she'd seen only once before. When she invited him back into her home, his face had lit up with a smile that held no sarcasm, or cockiness. Just happiness. And now he was smiling again.
"Oh god, Buffy."
The vampire hesitated before throwing his arms around her.
Buffy smiled a little, and considered forgetting all she'd learnt before being brought back. Once again, she had to blink to bring back her negative feeling towards Spike, who buried his face into her hair. She couldn't work out why she had to work at hating them, when Kea'lach had told her they'd put her under a spell.
"I can't believe it. You're...god, you're alive. Bloody hell. I've missed you so much."
Buffy sighed, before pushing him backwards against the column in the middle of the crypt.
His smile faded into confusion, and Buffy strode towards him.
"Spike. Just tell me where my clothes are, so I can go."
Spike shook his head, and narrowed his eyes, not quite understanding what was
happening.
"What's going on, Buffy?"
The slayer pulled a stake from the long sleeve of her white dress, and moved closer to Spike. All confusion was replaced with fear, not from the stake, but from the look in her eye that told him she was serious.
"Cut the crap, Spike. I've just been resurrected, and I'm not in the mood for your innocent "not evil" act. As far as I'm concerned, you're a vampire. I'm a slayer. Stake to heart. Getting the picture?"
Spike ran his hand through his hair, and laughed with no humour. He sunk to the
ground, thrown by her outburst. He stared up at her, hopefully, waiting for her to
laugh, and tell him she'd been joking.
Buffy lowered the stake a little, and shifted on her feet. She hadn't been prepared to see this. A silence followed, as Spike waited for Buffy to stop playing, and Buffy struggled to maintain her cool.
Eventually, Spike dropped his head, and sighed
"Buffy. I'm sorry. If I'd have gotten Dawn out of there..."
The slayer shrugged, as Spike looked up again.
"Yeah. You pretty much screwed up. I mean, all those times you tried to kill me, and failed. But at least you tried with some style. This time, when you actually managed to get me killed, you did it by getting pushed off a tower" Buffy sighed dramatically "I mean wow. I'm so amazed by how totally bad boy that was of you, Spike," she added sarcastically.
Spike blinked, still processing all she'd just said. As Buffy turned, and started pacing, Spike let a couple of tears roll down his face, before bringing his forehead to meet his knees, and wrapping his arms around them.
Still facing away from him, Buffy shrugged again
"I don't know. Maybe that chip in your head really messed your brain up. The old Spike wouldn't be making promises he couldn't keep to help his mortal enemy, now would he?" Buffy turned back to Spike for an answer, and frowned at the vampire, with his knees drawn up, and face hidden. She decided to stop and just get out of there
"I'm taking a guess that my clothes are down here" Buffy indicated the tunnel
underneath Spike's crypt, and spoke as she pulled open the trapdoor "Now. Is there anything you'd rather I didn't see? A shrine of Buffy photos? Oh, have you dumped that mannequin? Cos that was freaky" Buffy's voice faded as she searched around the tunnel. Finally she spotted a beaten up wardrobe in the corner.
"You got me a wardrobe?"
Buffy smiled when he didn't answer, and opened it.
Inside, Buffy's clothes hung neatly on hangers. She looked through them, before
settling on all black, and changed quickly, discarding the white burial dress on the
floor. She pulled out a few more items of clothing to take with her and began rifling through the clothes that had seemingly been thrown on the floor.
A few variations of Spike's usual black and red didn't surprise Buffy, but she stopped when she came to a green button up shirt, and a shorter leather jacket.
She vaguely remembered him wearing them. The night at the Bronze, when he'd
attempted to keep her company.
Buffy was broken out of her thoughts by the sound of footsteps above her.
She took a last look around before climbing back up the ladder, holding her clothes.
"Right. I'm done here."
Spike had moved to the sofa again, and lay facing the ceiling. One arm lay across his forehead, and the other hung over the edge of the sofa.
He stared at her as she walked towards the door.
"Buffy, I do love you. And I'm sorry. This shouldn't have happened to you. You didn't deserve this."
The slayer turned and raised her eyes to the ceiling.
"No. I didn't deserve this. I really didn't. But I got it. Because I loved and cared about everybody else, above myself. Even you. But not now. I'm looking after me. You're nothing, Spike. You're just another soulless vampire, who I should kill"
Spike turned away from her, and faced the ceiling again
"So why don't you?"
Buffy sighed
"I'd like some sort of challenge. You're pathetic." Buffy frowned, then grinned "But hey, don't worry, Spikey. I'll be back. To quote a guy I knew, I'll slip in, have myself a real good day"
Spike choked on the words, and sighed. Buffy walked out, not wanting to see the effect she'd had should she look back.
-------------------------
Dawn didn't go to back to Xander's apartment. Her head ached with the brutality of Buffy's cold statements, and she only knew one person who'd listen to her like an adult.
And she wanted to warn him.
As she neared the crypt, she could hear a stereo, playing a song she had never heard before. She knew Spike put on a brave face in front of her, but Xander told her that he wasn't coping well. Sometimes she'd catch him staring at the wall, or throwing things in frustration. Music could only be a good sign.
She pushed open the door, and winced when the loud song blasted her ears.
Looking around, she frowned when she couldn't see him, and turned the small stereo off.
As the music disappeared, a bottle smashed at her feet.
"Turn it back on"
Dawn peered around the sarcophagus, and her eyes widened when she saw Spike
sitting against it, empty bottles all around him.
"Spike. Oh god. Where did you get this from?" Dawn ducked down beside him, and picked up the bottles, a disgusted look on her face.
Her troubles were forgotten as she looked through the labels. Vodka, Whisky, a bottle of cheap wine. All empty.
"I'm not drunk, Dawn. Go home."
Dawn stood up again, and kicked the bottles with her foot.
"Yeah. And I suppose these just appeared."
Spike picked another bottle up, and threw it at the wall in front of him. Glass showered all over him, and Dawn jumped back.
"No. I'm not drunk. I want to be. I'm bloody trying to be, and guess what? I'm failing. Just like I bloody failed before." Spike tipped a bottle up, so a few drops spilt out of the neck. "There was enough left in these bottles to fill a couple of lids. That's all I've had. Takes more than that to get me wrecked"
Dawn breathed a sigh of relief, and lowered herself to the ground.
"That's good then. Uh...I came to..."
Spike nodded, as he interrupted.
"Buffy's back? Yeah, I know."
Dawn tapped her fingers on the floor.
"You've seen her? I mean, what did she say?"
Spike closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead
"The general feeling I got is that she hates me. I don't blame her." Spike opened his eyes again, realising something "God. I killed her. I bloody killed her"
Dawn cautiously put her hand on his shoulder.
"Spike. That wasn't Buffy."
The vampire raised a sceptical eyebrow at Dawn
"No? Looked a lot like her."
Dawn looked down at the floor. Her lip trembled as she fought back tears.
Spike noticed, and cocked his head
"What do you mean it isn't Buffy, Dawn? Did she say something to you?"
Dawn shook her head, and coughed to regain her composure
"It's not important. It's important that you don't think you killed her. You didn't."
Spike turned back to the wall again, his face betraying the brave front he was putting on.
"Spike. You think you can fool me. You can't. I know you cry when I'm not here. I know you miss her. You don't have to put on a brave face for me. I can deal."
The vampire stared straight ahead
"Go home, sweet bit. Or to school. Why aren't you at school?"
The girl stood up and threw her hands up. Spike's usual lighthearted attitude was replaced with sad, robotic versions of his everyday speech.
"What? Now you're treating me like a child? No, not a child. A ball of energy. The Key. I'm not sweet bit. I'm just a key."
Spike continued looking at the wall as Dawn shouted.
"Spike?"
"I killed her. She hates me", Spike muttered, as he remained transfixed by a spot on the wall.
Dawn stared at Spike, and waited for a response to her outburst.
"Spike?"
When she got nothing, she ran out of the crypt, tears streaming down her face.
She was going to find Buffy.
-----
Buffy sat cross legged on the dusty floor, and loaded a bolt into the crossbow in her hand. She aimed at a still intact window and fired. It wobbled as it flew, before piercing the glass, leaving a neat hole, before the window shattered.
She'd made her way down into the sturdiest part of the burnt out high school, and had made herself comfortable. As comfortable as she could be on a hard floor with a smell of burning wood all around her.
Bored, she hummed a tune to herself, and found her eyes drifting shut. She assumed it was late afternoon, and daren't risk falling asleep and missing patrol.
A noise made her jump up, and step back, into the shadows. Someone was walking through the school, coming towards her.
She figured they must have heard the glass shatter from the outside, and held her crossbow up, confidently.
And she didn't lower it when the person came into view.
Dawn stepped over black wood, and twisted metal, picking her way through the
debris. She bent down to look at the bag on the floor, and recognised the clothes as Buffy's.
"Buffy. I know you're here. This is your stuff."
Buffy stepped out of the shadow, and still holding the crossbow up. Dawn stared at her, angrily
"What do you want? Why are you here? Don't you have dimensional portals to open?"
Buffy cocked her head waiting for Dawn to cry or run away. The rage remained on Dawn's face.
"And don't you have some more people to upset?" she retorted
Buffy scoffed, and raised her hands in mock horror.
"Oh little girl got herself an attitude?"
Dawn shrugged
"I don't see where you're one to talk. What's going on? Who died and made you hellbitch?"
Buffy dropped the crossbow, and leant against the blackened wall.
"I died, and made me hellbitch. Now run home. I'm sure Giles is all worried"
Dawn smiled
"Giles is gone"
Buffy's cocky smile faltered slightly
"What?" she whispered under her breath
"Giles went back to England. I live with Xander and Anya now. A lot has changed, Buffy. It's all different"
Buffy sniffed, trying to stay calm.
"You guys never change. You stayed the same. Willow's always been whiney, Xander's always been dumb. Spike's always been sick and twisted. You never change"
Dawn shrugged, and stepped closer.
"You'd be surprised. Xander's got his own business now. He's making a go of the
carpentry thing. Will's still in college, and her magic, it's amazing. She's so powerful. It's kinda scary actually"
Buffy allowed herself a small smile
"And Spike. He's not what he used to be. When you died, it cut him up."
Buffy shrugged
"I don't care. I don't care about any of this anymore."
Dawn leant forward
"No?"
Buffy tried to block out Dawn's voice.
"You killed me. All of you. I don't need you. It's your fault. I'm not tied to you anymore." Buffy almost chanted.
The slap came as a surprise to both of them. Buffy reeled backwards in pain, and
Dawn stared at her hand. The Slayer raised her hand and touched the red mark on her face.
"You hit me"
Dawn shook her head
"Yeah. I'm wondering, Buffy. What would Mom think of your new improved attitude?"
Buffy stared at Dawn for what seemed like an eternity, and sunk to the ground,
crying.
"Oh god"
Dawn slid down next to her, and put her arm around her sister
"It's okay. It's not your fault." She comforted.
Buffy pulled Dawn further into the embrace and cried harder.
"It is. I just...I had to. They took them away."
Dawn pulled back slightly.
"What? Who took what away?"
Buffy rubbed at her eyes with her fist, and breathed hard.
"Demons. New office demons, or something. Took my feelings away."
Dawn shook her head
"I don't understand"
Buffy stood up, renewed venom in her eyes
"They took away my feelings for you, and everyone. Wanted the perfect Slayer, with no ties to the world. You guys were my ties. I guess I just needed snapping out of it"
Buffy bent over and picked up her bag, before turning to Dawn.
"You snapped me out of it. And now I slay"
---
Buffy strode purposefully through the cemetery, with Dawn trailing behind, trying to keep up.
"Where are we going, Buffy?"
"I have to speak with someone"
They came to the clearing that Kea'lach had summoned her to.
"Dawn, you hide somewhere, I'll be done quickly"
Dawn scurried away, ducking behind a bush, as Buffy reached into her pocket, and took out the small bag she'd been given, by the demon.
She wrinkled her nose at the contents, and shrugged, before throwing a handful of powder onto the ground. Kea'lach appeared in seconds.
"Slayer. How are you?"
Buffy shrugged
"Good. I just have a question. My feelings. You know, the ones you took away."
Kea'lach nodded slowly.
"Are they gone for good?"
"Yes. We sent a worthy demon to his death. The spell is irreversible"
Buffy cocked her head.
"Right. I see" Buffy reached her hands out to take the demon's head, but recoiled
when she remembered something.
"What are you doing, Slayer?" Kea'lach lifted his head slightly
"You said something about a love for a demon. You mentioned that one in particular. Who was it?"
Kea'lach laughed slightly
"You have many questions. I believe you know who."
Buffy smiled, and nodded
"Just checking." Buffy turned to walk away, but stepped backwards, before Kea'lach could disappear. "About that spell" Buffy lifted her hands again, and placed a palm either side of the faceless head. She sighed as she twisted and heard a crack "I don't think that guy was worthy"
Buffy let the body fall to the floor, and Dawn ran out of the bush.
"That was so cool. Wow, was he the guy who..."
"Yeah. It was him. Dawn, do any of the others know about all this? Xander? Will?" Buffy waved her hands around her.
Dawn shook her head
"I didn't get a chance to go home and tell Xander yet. I went to Spike's first"
Buffy's jaw dropped, and she slapped a hand to her mouth.
"Spike... Oh god. Spike. Dawn, where is he?"
The younger girl pointed
"He's in his crypt. Uh, Buffy? He's in a real state. He was just staring at the wall."
Buffy lowered her head
"God. I hate me so much right now. Dawn, go back to Xander's. I'll be there a little later. I have to go talk to him."
---
Buffy pushed open the crypt door, and stepped down into it.
"Spike?"
"You're not real"
Buffy frowned, and followed the voice.
She gasped, when she saw Spike leaning against the tomb, staring at the wall.
Slowly, she made her way towards him, and knelt down next to him. She laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Spike, please. Talk to me"
The vampire turned his head slightly, and jumped back, when he saw Buffy
"Why don't you just kill me?"
Buffy stared at him, as he gazed sadly at her.
"I don't want to kill you"
Spike turned back to the wall, and Buffy looked at the floor.
"Spike, it wasn't me. When I came here earlier. It wasn't me."
His eyes drifted back to her face, and a small smile flickered over his face.
"Dawn said that. So...who was it?"
Buffy looked over at the sofa
"Can we, uh, sit down?"
Spike turned his head towards the sofa, and shrugged
"I guess"
Buffy stepped over his legs, and sat down on the sofa.
Spike followed, and hesitated, before falling onto the opposite end of the sofa.
"I was brought back, by a demon. He, uh, wanted a Slayer, with no emotion. Just a killing machine. So he took away my feelings for my friends and family. That's why I came here, and said all that stuff to you"
Spike put a hand to his head.
"So you were brought back as super bitch?"
Buffy laughed a little
"Yeah. I want to say I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I mean, more sorry than I've ever been for anything ever"
Spike smiled a little wider this time.
"So you're back? Buffy? No bitch, and no disappearing?"
He didn't wait for an answer, and practically jumped across the sofa, pulling her into a hug. Buffy smiled through her tears, as he buried his face in her hair. She hugged back just as hard.
When he eventually pulled back, and sat down again, she moved closer, and he
turned to look at her.
"What happened to your eyes, Spike?"
Buffy wiped away a tear from the corner of his eye, and he frowned
"What? What's wrong with them?" he asked, fearing the smallest thing would make her angry again.
She shrugged
"You had sparkly eyes. They aren't sparkly now"
Spike cocked his head
"They'll be sparkly again. Don't you worry. So, how did you break the spell, and when can I kill the bastard that put the spell on you in the first place?"
Buffy smiled
"Dawn slapped me, and fed me a few home truths, so you can thank Dawn. And I did it already."
Spike bounced in his seat, like an excited schoolboy
"Yeah? How? I want a blow by blow description"
Buffy shrugged again
"I never thought I'd say it, but your violence loving? I missed that. And there wasn't any blows. I channelled you, and snapped his neck"
Spike grinned
"Bloody brilliant. Dawn's all okay now? I mean, she was really upset. Didn't say much, but I could tell" His voice trailed off, as Buffy bowed her head "Oh, Buffy, sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I was just worried about Niblet"
Buffy sighed
"No, I know you are. Spike, there's something else. Kea'lach, the guy I killed. He said something about..." Buffy sighed, and closed her eyes "Love for a demon. He mentioned it specifically."
Spike nodded slowly
"Angel..."
Buffy opened her eyes again.
"No. Not Angel. Uh, you..."
Spike put his hands up, and shook his head
"Buffy, I accepted your apology. I am so glad you are back, but I don't want you to say things like that to make me feel better."
Buffy took a breath
"I'm not. I'm saying it, cos you were wrong. When you said I'd never love you. You were wrong. Cos I can, and do."
Spike stared at her, and Buffy moved closer, and laid her head on his shoulder.
"Spike, I'm really tired. Had a big day, getting resurrected"
The vampire looked down at head on his shoulder, and raised an eyebrow at the
sudden change of pace, and moved himself into a more comfortable position. Buffy ended up half on his shoulder and half on his chest
"You go to sleep then, pet. I'll be here when you wake up"
Buffy mumbled a little as her eyes drifted shut.
"You do still love me, right? I didn't wreck that too, did I?"
Spike smiled
"No. Still love you. Do you have any idea how glad I am that your back?"
Buffy was asleep, but smiled as he dropped a kiss on her forehead.
Author - Harmony
Rating - PG-13
Description - Buffy is resurrected, but there's something wrong. Will love snap her out of it?
Disclaimer - Joss Whedon, and co own it all. I just played with them. I am reluctant to give Spike back.
Dedication - Hilary gave me her ideas and let me run wild with them. Big huge thankyou's and hugs to Hilary.
---
"Our offering, our brother, the demon, Mai'lach."
The fire crackled, and the words droned on in a chant. A group of ten robed figures sat around the flames, hands linked to form a circle.
"Receive our brother. Life for life."
The largest demon of the circle stood, and his black eyes reflected the orange glow of the fire. The hooded face seemed to consist only of a pair of eyes.
Pulling his hand from a pouch hanging from his waist, he threw a handful of herbs onto the fire. A blinding white light enveloped the clearing for a second, stunning the assembled into silence.
"We offer a life, for hers. Deliver to us, she, the one, the chosen, the protector of innocent."
The chants began again. The standing demon seemed to take a breath, before
stepping into the fire.
The material he wore was engulfed in flames in seconds, and nine remaining bowed their heads, as if in prayer, as the figure disappeared, leaving a pile of ash behind.
"Our leader, the demon, Kea'lach. Bring forth the chosen one"
The fire raged on, as Kea'lach stood from the circle, and threw more herbs onto the fire. Along with a new burst of white light, a scream pierced the air.
As the light faded again, a murmur travelled around the group. The fire burnt away, revealing the still body of a woman.
The demons moved slowly forward, and peered down.
They gasped, as the woman opened her eyes, and blinked away a drowsy feeling.
She reached a hand up, to brush away the stray hairs covering her eyes, and tried to sit.
The demons gasped as she groaned in pain, and felt the back of her head, wincing when she touched a bruise.
"Owwww...Oh god."
Kea'lach reached his hand out, and helped her to her feet. The woman groaned again, and shook the stiffness out of her legs and arms.
"Why does my head hurt so much?" she whined, to the assembled group "Who are you?"
Kea'lach stood back, and looked at her from top to bottom. She was dressed in white, her burial attire, and a few wilting flowers adorned her hair.
"We have brought you back, from death. We are Neoris demons. You are the slayer, recently passed."
The woman rolled her eyes
"I know. I'm Buffy Summers," the woman said slowly, as if talking to a child. Buffy looked at her surroundings, and wrinkled her nose "Why am I back?"
The nine demons stared at her, and laughed nervously amongst themselves.
"What are you laughing at? I want to know. Why'd you bring me back?"
Kea'lach dismissed the other demons with a wave of his hand, and began walking with Buffy.
"I am Kea'lach. We brought you back, to fulfil your destiny. Your death was
unexpected. Untimely. We've delayed the calling of a new slayer"
Buffy shook her head in frustration, not understanding
"Tell me, do you remember how you died?" The demon cocked it's robed head, and Buffy frowned
"Not really. Just that I fell. My head hurts. That's about it."
Buffy got the feeling he would be smiling if he had a face.
"You dived from the tower. To save the world."
"I see." Buffy sounded impressed.
Kea'lach shrugged
"Precisely. There is however something you should know."
Buffy rolled her eyes
"There always is. Okay, what now? I'll grow horns? My hair will turn blue? Oh god."
Kea'lach turned to face her
"What is it?" he asked, concerned
"My hair. It won't turn blue will it?"
Buffy grinned, and Kea'lach sighed, slightly amused
"It seems your personality was restored. When we brought you back, we brought the Slayer back. Not necessarily Buffy Summers. Our intention was to take the parts of you that we saw fit for a slayer, and reject the parts we didn't."
Buffy's jaw dropped
"You mean I'm not all here? What did you leave behind?" Buffy's eyes darted, as she worried
The demon held a hand up to calm her panic
"How do you feel about..." Kea'lach lifted his head to the sky to jog his memory
"Spike?" he finished
Buffy shrugged
"He's a vampire. Pathetic. He had a strange obsession with me."
Buffy blinked. It didn't feel right to talk like that about Spike, but something urged her to. The demon waved his hand, to show he'd proven a point
"We dismissed any feelings you may have had about your friends, and family. Slayer's don't have friends or family. You will just have negative emotions towards them. We came across a particularly disturbing feeling of love for a demon. We banished that too. You won't be tied to these people anymore. They caused your death. We brought you back. You are indebted to us now."
Buffy nodded, and wrinkled her nose.
"So I just carry on slaying."
Kea'lach nodded, and handed her a bag of powder, similar to the one around his waist.
"If you require assistance, use this." He pointed to the bag, and Buffy looked at it, puzzled "Find somewhere to stay. Begin again."
Buffy tried to ask more questions, but he disappeared before she had a chance to.
------------------
"Goodbye Xander, Anya. I'll see you later"
Dawn closed the apartment door behind her, and adjusted the school bag on her
shoulder.
She'd lived with Xander and Anya since Buffy died. Her father had remained out of reach, and it was the easiest option.
Blinking against the bright morning sun, Dawn walked along the path, keeping her eyes on the floor. Every morning, she stopped at Buffy's grave, and visited Spike to make sure he was eating. Every morning she made her way to school, rarely taking her eyes off her feet.
When she did it was a robotic movement, at regular intervals to check her path. This morning, something in her path made her stop in her tracks.
"Buffy?"
The teenager ran towards the figure, coming out of an alleyway.
The blonde woman turned to face the voice, and stumbled as the girl threw her arms around her neck.
"Buffy. You...you're back. It's you. How? I mean. Wow. This is huge. How did you get back? How long? When? Who did this?"
Buffy stepped out of the tight embrace, and put her hands up to give herself some space.
"That's a whole bunch of questions, and you wouldn't understand if I tried to explain."
Dawn bounced excitedly on the spot, and gestured at a bench. They sat down, and Dawn stared at Buffy.
"What? What are you looking at?" Buffy asked, impatiently
Dawn smiled again, and shook her head
"I can't believe it. You're back. We have to tell Xander. And Willow. Oh, and Spike."
Buffy frowned
"No. We don't. I'd rather not. I've just been resurrected. I don't need everyone pawing all over me."
Dawn smiled, oblivious to Buffy's comments.
"Are you hungry? This is insane. But you're back"
Buffy stared off into the distance
"What happened to all my clothes? I went by Revelled, but I can't get in the place"
Dawn gestured in the direction of the cemetery.
"We, uh, Spike has some of them. He-he kept what we didn't..." Dawn's voice trailed off, and Buffy stared at her
"You gave my clothes away?"
Dawn smiled nervously, afraid of Buffy's angry tone
"It's not important. I've missed you so much."
The teen threw her arms around Buffy's neck again, and the slayer's face softened, before pulling back again.
"Would you stop doing that? Jeez."
Dawn frowned at Buffy and looked at the ground again.
"I just thought...Aren't you pleased to see me?"
Buffy bit her nails idly, and shrugged
"This isn't about you now, Dawn. Think you could stop and think about someone else for once?"
Dawn bit her lip, and blinked back tears
"Buffy, why are you being so horrible? What's the matter with you? You're my sister. I missed you"
Buffy rolled her eyes and put her hands on Dawn's shoulders.
"You think someone would have made you realise. You aren't my sister. You're a ball of energy. A Key. A thing. I don't have a sister."
Dawn choked on the deep breath she took, and stood up from sitting.
"I can't believe you just said that. I...Oh god. I have to go"
Taking one last look at Buffy, Dawn turned and ran back towards Xander's apartment.
Buffy watched her go, and ducked her head away, willing back a few tears that had formed upon seeing Dawn cry. Seconds later, she stood up, and shrugged, before walking towards the cemetery
-----
Spike stared at the TV. He appeared to be watching it, but the static on the screen gave it away. He simply stared. A few empty blood packets littered the floor, and he kicked at them with the toe of his boot.
A cigarette burnt down to the filter in his hand, and he flicked it across the crypt.
Without looking, he opened the packet again, and sighed when confronted with
another empty box, destined to join the pile of empty boxes forming a pile in the
corner of his worn down sofa. He'd just have to wait for Xander to arrive with another packet.
His eyes lit up when he saw a reflection in the TV screen.
"Spike"
The vampire looked up from the screen and smiled at Buffy, who'd just slammed his crypt door open, and walked in.
"Buffy"
She came to a stop behind his sofa, and his smile faded.
"You're not real. You keep turning up, but you always fade away when I try to touch you. You're not really there. See?"
Spike lifted his hand, and brushed it across the back of Buffy's hand laying on the
back of the sofa.
His eyes widened when she didn't fade away, as she usually did when he imagined her. She'd haunted him since the night she died. She'd be dancing in the Bronze when he drank away his sorrows with Xander. She'd be fighting a vampire in the cemetery, when he went to take his frustration out on a demon. She'd be sitting next to him in his crypt watching Passions with him. But she'd never be real.
"Buffy?"
The slayer stared at Spike. He looked worse than he'd ever looked. Paler if possible, and the blue eyes she'd remembered as clear and sparkling, were now dull and grey. A sob caught in her throat when he got up, and looked at her, in awe. As he came closer, she blinked renewing the venom she'd entered his crypt with.
"Spike. Dawn told me you have some of my clothes," she said, coldly.
Buffy cocked her head as Spike smiled with a happiness she'd seen only once before. When she invited him back into her home, his face had lit up with a smile that held no sarcasm, or cockiness. Just happiness. And now he was smiling again.
"Oh god, Buffy."
The vampire hesitated before throwing his arms around her.
Buffy smiled a little, and considered forgetting all she'd learnt before being brought back. Once again, she had to blink to bring back her negative feeling towards Spike, who buried his face into her hair. She couldn't work out why she had to work at hating them, when Kea'lach had told her they'd put her under a spell.
"I can't believe it. You're...god, you're alive. Bloody hell. I've missed you so much."
Buffy sighed, before pushing him backwards against the column in the middle of the crypt.
His smile faded into confusion, and Buffy strode towards him.
"Spike. Just tell me where my clothes are, so I can go."
Spike shook his head, and narrowed his eyes, not quite understanding what was
happening.
"What's going on, Buffy?"
The slayer pulled a stake from the long sleeve of her white dress, and moved closer to Spike. All confusion was replaced with fear, not from the stake, but from the look in her eye that told him she was serious.
"Cut the crap, Spike. I've just been resurrected, and I'm not in the mood for your innocent "not evil" act. As far as I'm concerned, you're a vampire. I'm a slayer. Stake to heart. Getting the picture?"
Spike ran his hand through his hair, and laughed with no humour. He sunk to the
ground, thrown by her outburst. He stared up at her, hopefully, waiting for her to
laugh, and tell him she'd been joking.
Buffy lowered the stake a little, and shifted on her feet. She hadn't been prepared to see this. A silence followed, as Spike waited for Buffy to stop playing, and Buffy struggled to maintain her cool.
Eventually, Spike dropped his head, and sighed
"Buffy. I'm sorry. If I'd have gotten Dawn out of there..."
The slayer shrugged, as Spike looked up again.
"Yeah. You pretty much screwed up. I mean, all those times you tried to kill me, and failed. But at least you tried with some style. This time, when you actually managed to get me killed, you did it by getting pushed off a tower" Buffy sighed dramatically "I mean wow. I'm so amazed by how totally bad boy that was of you, Spike," she added sarcastically.
Spike blinked, still processing all she'd just said. As Buffy turned, and started pacing, Spike let a couple of tears roll down his face, before bringing his forehead to meet his knees, and wrapping his arms around them.
Still facing away from him, Buffy shrugged again
"I don't know. Maybe that chip in your head really messed your brain up. The old Spike wouldn't be making promises he couldn't keep to help his mortal enemy, now would he?" Buffy turned back to Spike for an answer, and frowned at the vampire, with his knees drawn up, and face hidden. She decided to stop and just get out of there
"I'm taking a guess that my clothes are down here" Buffy indicated the tunnel
underneath Spike's crypt, and spoke as she pulled open the trapdoor "Now. Is there anything you'd rather I didn't see? A shrine of Buffy photos? Oh, have you dumped that mannequin? Cos that was freaky" Buffy's voice faded as she searched around the tunnel. Finally she spotted a beaten up wardrobe in the corner.
"You got me a wardrobe?"
Buffy smiled when he didn't answer, and opened it.
Inside, Buffy's clothes hung neatly on hangers. She looked through them, before
settling on all black, and changed quickly, discarding the white burial dress on the
floor. She pulled out a few more items of clothing to take with her and began rifling through the clothes that had seemingly been thrown on the floor.
A few variations of Spike's usual black and red didn't surprise Buffy, but she stopped when she came to a green button up shirt, and a shorter leather jacket.
She vaguely remembered him wearing them. The night at the Bronze, when he'd
attempted to keep her company.
Buffy was broken out of her thoughts by the sound of footsteps above her.
She took a last look around before climbing back up the ladder, holding her clothes.
"Right. I'm done here."
Spike had moved to the sofa again, and lay facing the ceiling. One arm lay across his forehead, and the other hung over the edge of the sofa.
He stared at her as she walked towards the door.
"Buffy, I do love you. And I'm sorry. This shouldn't have happened to you. You didn't deserve this."
The slayer turned and raised her eyes to the ceiling.
"No. I didn't deserve this. I really didn't. But I got it. Because I loved and cared about everybody else, above myself. Even you. But not now. I'm looking after me. You're nothing, Spike. You're just another soulless vampire, who I should kill"
Spike turned away from her, and faced the ceiling again
"So why don't you?"
Buffy sighed
"I'd like some sort of challenge. You're pathetic." Buffy frowned, then grinned "But hey, don't worry, Spikey. I'll be back. To quote a guy I knew, I'll slip in, have myself a real good day"
Spike choked on the words, and sighed. Buffy walked out, not wanting to see the effect she'd had should she look back.
-------------------------
Dawn didn't go to back to Xander's apartment. Her head ached with the brutality of Buffy's cold statements, and she only knew one person who'd listen to her like an adult.
And she wanted to warn him.
As she neared the crypt, she could hear a stereo, playing a song she had never heard before. She knew Spike put on a brave face in front of her, but Xander told her that he wasn't coping well. Sometimes she'd catch him staring at the wall, or throwing things in frustration. Music could only be a good sign.
She pushed open the door, and winced when the loud song blasted her ears.
Looking around, she frowned when she couldn't see him, and turned the small stereo off.
As the music disappeared, a bottle smashed at her feet.
"Turn it back on"
Dawn peered around the sarcophagus, and her eyes widened when she saw Spike
sitting against it, empty bottles all around him.
"Spike. Oh god. Where did you get this from?" Dawn ducked down beside him, and picked up the bottles, a disgusted look on her face.
Her troubles were forgotten as she looked through the labels. Vodka, Whisky, a bottle of cheap wine. All empty.
"I'm not drunk, Dawn. Go home."
Dawn stood up again, and kicked the bottles with her foot.
"Yeah. And I suppose these just appeared."
Spike picked another bottle up, and threw it at the wall in front of him. Glass showered all over him, and Dawn jumped back.
"No. I'm not drunk. I want to be. I'm bloody trying to be, and guess what? I'm failing. Just like I bloody failed before." Spike tipped a bottle up, so a few drops spilt out of the neck. "There was enough left in these bottles to fill a couple of lids. That's all I've had. Takes more than that to get me wrecked"
Dawn breathed a sigh of relief, and lowered herself to the ground.
"That's good then. Uh...I came to..."
Spike nodded, as he interrupted.
"Buffy's back? Yeah, I know."
Dawn tapped her fingers on the floor.
"You've seen her? I mean, what did she say?"
Spike closed his eyes and rubbed his forehead
"The general feeling I got is that she hates me. I don't blame her." Spike opened his eyes again, realising something "God. I killed her. I bloody killed her"
Dawn cautiously put her hand on his shoulder.
"Spike. That wasn't Buffy."
The vampire raised a sceptical eyebrow at Dawn
"No? Looked a lot like her."
Dawn looked down at the floor. Her lip trembled as she fought back tears.
Spike noticed, and cocked his head
"What do you mean it isn't Buffy, Dawn? Did she say something to you?"
Dawn shook her head, and coughed to regain her composure
"It's not important. It's important that you don't think you killed her. You didn't."
Spike turned back to the wall again, his face betraying the brave front he was putting on.
"Spike. You think you can fool me. You can't. I know you cry when I'm not here. I know you miss her. You don't have to put on a brave face for me. I can deal."
The vampire stared straight ahead
"Go home, sweet bit. Or to school. Why aren't you at school?"
The girl stood up and threw her hands up. Spike's usual lighthearted attitude was replaced with sad, robotic versions of his everyday speech.
"What? Now you're treating me like a child? No, not a child. A ball of energy. The Key. I'm not sweet bit. I'm just a key."
Spike continued looking at the wall as Dawn shouted.
"Spike?"
"I killed her. She hates me", Spike muttered, as he remained transfixed by a spot on the wall.
Dawn stared at Spike, and waited for a response to her outburst.
"Spike?"
When she got nothing, she ran out of the crypt, tears streaming down her face.
She was going to find Buffy.
-----
Buffy sat cross legged on the dusty floor, and loaded a bolt into the crossbow in her hand. She aimed at a still intact window and fired. It wobbled as it flew, before piercing the glass, leaving a neat hole, before the window shattered.
She'd made her way down into the sturdiest part of the burnt out high school, and had made herself comfortable. As comfortable as she could be on a hard floor with a smell of burning wood all around her.
Bored, she hummed a tune to herself, and found her eyes drifting shut. She assumed it was late afternoon, and daren't risk falling asleep and missing patrol.
A noise made her jump up, and step back, into the shadows. Someone was walking through the school, coming towards her.
She figured they must have heard the glass shatter from the outside, and held her crossbow up, confidently.
And she didn't lower it when the person came into view.
Dawn stepped over black wood, and twisted metal, picking her way through the
debris. She bent down to look at the bag on the floor, and recognised the clothes as Buffy's.
"Buffy. I know you're here. This is your stuff."
Buffy stepped out of the shadow, and still holding the crossbow up. Dawn stared at her, angrily
"What do you want? Why are you here? Don't you have dimensional portals to open?"
Buffy cocked her head waiting for Dawn to cry or run away. The rage remained on Dawn's face.
"And don't you have some more people to upset?" she retorted
Buffy scoffed, and raised her hands in mock horror.
"Oh little girl got herself an attitude?"
Dawn shrugged
"I don't see where you're one to talk. What's going on? Who died and made you hellbitch?"
Buffy dropped the crossbow, and leant against the blackened wall.
"I died, and made me hellbitch. Now run home. I'm sure Giles is all worried"
Dawn smiled
"Giles is gone"
Buffy's cocky smile faltered slightly
"What?" she whispered under her breath
"Giles went back to England. I live with Xander and Anya now. A lot has changed, Buffy. It's all different"
Buffy sniffed, trying to stay calm.
"You guys never change. You stayed the same. Willow's always been whiney, Xander's always been dumb. Spike's always been sick and twisted. You never change"
Dawn shrugged, and stepped closer.
"You'd be surprised. Xander's got his own business now. He's making a go of the
carpentry thing. Will's still in college, and her magic, it's amazing. She's so powerful. It's kinda scary actually"
Buffy allowed herself a small smile
"And Spike. He's not what he used to be. When you died, it cut him up."
Buffy shrugged
"I don't care. I don't care about any of this anymore."
Dawn leant forward
"No?"
Buffy tried to block out Dawn's voice.
"You killed me. All of you. I don't need you. It's your fault. I'm not tied to you anymore." Buffy almost chanted.
The slap came as a surprise to both of them. Buffy reeled backwards in pain, and
Dawn stared at her hand. The Slayer raised her hand and touched the red mark on her face.
"You hit me"
Dawn shook her head
"Yeah. I'm wondering, Buffy. What would Mom think of your new improved attitude?"
Buffy stared at Dawn for what seemed like an eternity, and sunk to the ground,
crying.
"Oh god"
Dawn slid down next to her, and put her arm around her sister
"It's okay. It's not your fault." She comforted.
Buffy pulled Dawn further into the embrace and cried harder.
"It is. I just...I had to. They took them away."
Dawn pulled back slightly.
"What? Who took what away?"
Buffy rubbed at her eyes with her fist, and breathed hard.
"Demons. New office demons, or something. Took my feelings away."
Dawn shook her head
"I don't understand"
Buffy stood up, renewed venom in her eyes
"They took away my feelings for you, and everyone. Wanted the perfect Slayer, with no ties to the world. You guys were my ties. I guess I just needed snapping out of it"
Buffy bent over and picked up her bag, before turning to Dawn.
"You snapped me out of it. And now I slay"
---
Buffy strode purposefully through the cemetery, with Dawn trailing behind, trying to keep up.
"Where are we going, Buffy?"
"I have to speak with someone"
They came to the clearing that Kea'lach had summoned her to.
"Dawn, you hide somewhere, I'll be done quickly"
Dawn scurried away, ducking behind a bush, as Buffy reached into her pocket, and took out the small bag she'd been given, by the demon.
She wrinkled her nose at the contents, and shrugged, before throwing a handful of powder onto the ground. Kea'lach appeared in seconds.
"Slayer. How are you?"
Buffy shrugged
"Good. I just have a question. My feelings. You know, the ones you took away."
Kea'lach nodded slowly.
"Are they gone for good?"
"Yes. We sent a worthy demon to his death. The spell is irreversible"
Buffy cocked her head.
"Right. I see" Buffy reached her hands out to take the demon's head, but recoiled
when she remembered something.
"What are you doing, Slayer?" Kea'lach lifted his head slightly
"You said something about a love for a demon. You mentioned that one in particular. Who was it?"
Kea'lach laughed slightly
"You have many questions. I believe you know who."
Buffy smiled, and nodded
"Just checking." Buffy turned to walk away, but stepped backwards, before Kea'lach could disappear. "About that spell" Buffy lifted her hands again, and placed a palm either side of the faceless head. She sighed as she twisted and heard a crack "I don't think that guy was worthy"
Buffy let the body fall to the floor, and Dawn ran out of the bush.
"That was so cool. Wow, was he the guy who..."
"Yeah. It was him. Dawn, do any of the others know about all this? Xander? Will?" Buffy waved her hands around her.
Dawn shook her head
"I didn't get a chance to go home and tell Xander yet. I went to Spike's first"
Buffy's jaw dropped, and she slapped a hand to her mouth.
"Spike... Oh god. Spike. Dawn, where is he?"
The younger girl pointed
"He's in his crypt. Uh, Buffy? He's in a real state. He was just staring at the wall."
Buffy lowered her head
"God. I hate me so much right now. Dawn, go back to Xander's. I'll be there a little later. I have to go talk to him."
---
Buffy pushed open the crypt door, and stepped down into it.
"Spike?"
"You're not real"
Buffy frowned, and followed the voice.
She gasped, when she saw Spike leaning against the tomb, staring at the wall.
Slowly, she made her way towards him, and knelt down next to him. She laid a hand on his shoulder.
"Spike, please. Talk to me"
The vampire turned his head slightly, and jumped back, when he saw Buffy
"Why don't you just kill me?"
Buffy stared at him, as he gazed sadly at her.
"I don't want to kill you"
Spike turned back to the wall, and Buffy looked at the floor.
"Spike, it wasn't me. When I came here earlier. It wasn't me."
His eyes drifted back to her face, and a small smile flickered over his face.
"Dawn said that. So...who was it?"
Buffy looked over at the sofa
"Can we, uh, sit down?"
Spike turned his head towards the sofa, and shrugged
"I guess"
Buffy stepped over his legs, and sat down on the sofa.
Spike followed, and hesitated, before falling onto the opposite end of the sofa.
"I was brought back, by a demon. He, uh, wanted a Slayer, with no emotion. Just a killing machine. So he took away my feelings for my friends and family. That's why I came here, and said all that stuff to you"
Spike put a hand to his head.
"So you were brought back as super bitch?"
Buffy laughed a little
"Yeah. I want to say I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I mean, more sorry than I've ever been for anything ever"
Spike smiled a little wider this time.
"So you're back? Buffy? No bitch, and no disappearing?"
He didn't wait for an answer, and practically jumped across the sofa, pulling her into a hug. Buffy smiled through her tears, as he buried his face in her hair. She hugged back just as hard.
When he eventually pulled back, and sat down again, she moved closer, and he
turned to look at her.
"What happened to your eyes, Spike?"
Buffy wiped away a tear from the corner of his eye, and he frowned
"What? What's wrong with them?" he asked, fearing the smallest thing would make her angry again.
She shrugged
"You had sparkly eyes. They aren't sparkly now"
Spike cocked his head
"They'll be sparkly again. Don't you worry. So, how did you break the spell, and when can I kill the bastard that put the spell on you in the first place?"
Buffy smiled
"Dawn slapped me, and fed me a few home truths, so you can thank Dawn. And I did it already."
Spike bounced in his seat, like an excited schoolboy
"Yeah? How? I want a blow by blow description"
Buffy shrugged again
"I never thought I'd say it, but your violence loving? I missed that. And there wasn't any blows. I channelled you, and snapped his neck"
Spike grinned
"Bloody brilliant. Dawn's all okay now? I mean, she was really upset. Didn't say much, but I could tell" His voice trailed off, as Buffy bowed her head "Oh, Buffy, sorry. I'm not trying to make you feel bad. I was just worried about Niblet"
Buffy sighed
"No, I know you are. Spike, there's something else. Kea'lach, the guy I killed. He said something about..." Buffy sighed, and closed her eyes "Love for a demon. He mentioned it specifically."
Spike nodded slowly
"Angel..."
Buffy opened her eyes again.
"No. Not Angel. Uh, you..."
Spike put his hands up, and shook his head
"Buffy, I accepted your apology. I am so glad you are back, but I don't want you to say things like that to make me feel better."
Buffy took a breath
"I'm not. I'm saying it, cos you were wrong. When you said I'd never love you. You were wrong. Cos I can, and do."
Spike stared at her, and Buffy moved closer, and laid her head on his shoulder.
"Spike, I'm really tired. Had a big day, getting resurrected"
The vampire looked down at head on his shoulder, and raised an eyebrow at the
sudden change of pace, and moved himself into a more comfortable position. Buffy ended up half on his shoulder and half on his chest
"You go to sleep then, pet. I'll be here when you wake up"
Buffy mumbled a little as her eyes drifted shut.
"You do still love me, right? I didn't wreck that too, did I?"
Spike smiled
"No. Still love you. Do you have any idea how glad I am that your back?"
Buffy was asleep, but smiled as he dropped a kiss on her forehead.