Brought about by memories of watching the ER ball featured in series 4. And my images of my own upcoming Leavers Ball (Prom) might have played a part too. It's kind of a weird narrative - first time I've tried it out. Does it work? I'm not sure but I like the fic anyway. See what you think
Contains very mild adult themes
Chen ran her hands over her dress to straighten any wrinkles left by her jacket. The velvet felt so soft against her hand, the soft flesh beneath it warm and pliable. Her hand rested on the slight roundness of her tummy. Self-conscious she entered the ballroom. It was over awingly beautiful and made her feel very small. The atmosphere was upbeat and lifted her mood immediately. She removed her hand, tilted her chin up and pushed her glossy black hair behind one ear. She would enjoy this night! Many of her colleagues were here already. Elizabeth, radiantly engaged, looked stunning as ever. Her blue dress fell to her ankles, slightly A-line, skimming a perfectly proportioned figure in a sexy but not too sexy way. Tendrils of fiery red hair framed a smiling face as she talked and laughed with her fiancé Mark Greene and OR scrub nurse Shirley and husband Jeremy. Chens eyes travelled. A short burgundy skirt and black top made the most of Abbys usually so serious brunette good looks and perfect size 10 figure. She was dressed up but without looking too formal. Cleo practically shimmered, the pale material of her dress playing off her flawless dark skin. The light danced in her hair and in her eyes. She looked more alive than Chen could recall ever seeing her. Weavers trouser suit was so classically elegant you hardly realised she was the only one in the room not wearing a dress. She rested comfortably on her crutch, sipping a wine glass deep in conversation. Having observed for fully 5 minutes, she wasn't really all there anymore.
"Hey, Jing-Mei, you O.K?" "Yeah, great,"
"Come on, join the party, I'll get you a drink,"
She felt herself pulled to the bar in short order.
****
Why did she look so stunning? What was she trying to do? The way her raven hair shone, the way it moved silkily as she moved her head. The dress - so elegant, so simple, so sexy. The bare shoulders tapered down slender arms, the skin so exposed, so soft. The whole way the dress clung as she moved, revealing a perfect womanly shape. Couldn't she see it was...?
****
Social events were not really her thing. She felt kind of uncomfortable. Some of it was related to the alcohol thing, some of it was about the actual being sociable factor. Abby pulled her skirt down for the hundredth time since she'd arrived, fiddling awkwardly with the straps on her top. In conversation, she avoided eye contact, staring into her glass like it was the most interesting thing in the room. Walking in had intimidated her. All these people, very few of whom she knew. It took a while to acclimatise. Other people were in couples or in groups. Elizabeth and Mark, Cleo and Peter, Kerry and Kim. She felt like an outsider. She'd always felt like one. Abby was Little-Miss-Average everything at school - not surprising with a home life as hectic as hers had been. School hadn't always been her main focus. Neither had socialising. Chattering voices swirled in the air around her, dizzingly. The room seemed huge yet empty. T her, it was a blank space. She stood, fiddling, awkward and alone, just watching. Chen arrived, glanced over and was dragged away again by Carter. She was insignificant. Then again, hadn't she always been? It wasn't who she really was. She felt like screaming or doing something incredibly outrageous just to show them - sensible, reliable Abby had her wild side too. Instead, she twirled the glass between her fingers, separate and distant.
****
Why does she hide herself? She's got a lot to show. That's aside of her legs. There has to be so much more to her we've just never seen. Surely she has her intense, crazy, passionate wild side too. She should really let that go, she'd carry it off. It could be just what she needs, cause she obviously isn't aware of how stunningly beautiful she is. And that's no exaggeration.
****
He's going to think you're flirting, Jing-Mei, grab a hold of yourself. She mentally slapped herself for being so obvious. One drink was all she'd had. Maybe this was just the part of her that never came out at work. The part that was suppressed by her dedication to medicine forsaking all else. This was the part of her that had been devastatingly attracted to him since arriving back in Chicago. Tragedy had followed tragedy, her heart had broken and healed for him so many times, always desperate to tell him but too afraid of the hurt it would cause to ever actually do anything. He was one of her oldest friends - they had always been there for each other, after Lucy died, the painkiller addiction. Well, she'd been there for him. Whether he ever knew that or not was something she didn't know. She couldn't stop loving him though. It didn't work like that.
****
What in the hell signals are these? What is she trying to say? Don't let her reject me too. I can't face it again. I don't want to be alone anymore. She's got to know how that feels. Why she is, well, she's always been a control freak, very dominant. For all her faults, she's still a beautiful person inside and out. She's never done anything to hurt me and I doubt she ever will. Have I hurt her? Is that what this is about? How can I ever know?
****
Don't stare, Abby, don't stare. Whatever held her gaze to him was like a magnet and it was far too strong to break. Her eyes were held and she felt them burning. It was desire, pure and simple, where it had sprung from she was less sure of. She didn't care. This was what she needed. Alcoholic Abby would have flirted. Why can't you? You know he would. She'd been dumped too many times. She needed something that came without strings attached. Someone who, even although they carried their own emotional baggage, wouldn't try and load her with it in addition to her own. She wanted what he could give. She'd always known that, known that the woman inside yearned for reckless abandon. Although she'd brushed him off - thinking she needed someone a little more sophisticated, she knew better now. It was denial. And besides, hadn't that only gotten her involved in manslaughter??
****
The other person was talking but he wasn't listening. He could feel a force from across the room, pulling him to her. He fought to stay in control, to keep his sense. It wasn't easy. The thought had driven him crazy...even having the opportunity felt....He couldn't. He couldn't risk hurting her the way he knew he inevitably would.
****
The night drifted on. Mark and Elizabeth danced slowly, holding each other in the way only couples cab. She watched them, envying the intimacy they shared. Knowing she could have the, but her cautious side holding well back. She glanced at her watch. It was going on for 12:00. It felt like the school disco, when you always wanted to ask that cute boy to dance but never got up the nerve. She listened to all her favourite songs played - those songs there for her in soppy, weak moments. Couples drifted together onto the dancefloor - Peter and Cleo, Kim and Kerry, Shirley and Jeremy. Till it was only her, Carter, Abby and Dave still standing watching. The room was divided - those in love and those blatantly not. And the majority was obvious.
"We should probably dance,"
He whispered in her ear, startling her out of her reverie. His breath disturbed fine hairs on her skin and it tingled a little. Still scared, insides practically shaking, she let herself be led. To a place she wasn't really comfy with. Yet.. she might get used to it in time...You never knew with these things.
****
Trying desperately not to look lonely and solitary wasn't working. Abby watched as Chen and Carter left the bar to hit the dancefloor. Just two left. She wanted to make a move, any move, reduce the distance between them. She gripped her glass tighter and tighter as time wore on. Her eyes focused on the dancefloor, losing all sense of reality. Suddenly, she became aware of a presence beside her. Calming the initial butterflies, she was silent, waiting for him to talk.
"Well, look at that, only two left..."
She couldn't speak, without sounding too defensive and scaring him off. The way he made her feel that was the last thing she wanted.
"Must be fate huh Abby?"
"If you believe in that," "How can you not believe in fate? What other logical explanation is there?"
Well, none. But she couldn't ever admit that.
"Much as this banter is very entertaining, time is wearing on so I'll cut to the chase. You want to dance?"
That was more like the Abby she knew she was. The opening strains of the Foo Fighter "Walking After You" played. Perfect. She led him to the floor. She was in control.
**** Of course he did. He didn't have to answer, he only followed her lead. She had the power now. For the first time, he sensed she knew that. There wasn't a crowd on the dancefloor but she pulled him right to her almost protectively. All his senses were focussed on her at that instant, she was the centre of his universe. All he wanted so close. He knew she was giving him her all. And it scared him a little at first. They were toying with one another and each knew it.
****
His hands rested nervously and lightly on her waist. The velvet was as soft and giving as the skin underneath. She moved easily, gracefully. He could sense she didn't quite know where to put herself, something made her uncomfortable. Her hands knotted uneasily around his neck. He saw Abby pull Dave onto the floor. Instantly, there was centimetres between them, sparks flying, the chemistry visible. Why couldn't it be like that for them? Why was it so awkward?
****
This was what she wanted. She felt insanely comfortable being this close to a man she hardly knew. The rest of the world almost ceased to exist. The magnetic forced that had held her eyes to him now acted on her whole body. She couldn't separate from him even if she wanted to. She felt no shame either. They fitted somehow, in a dangerously sexual way. Her hands knotted tightly at the back of his neck, pulling him to her. He responded by increasing the intensity of his grip on her waist.
****
Couldn't get out now, found it impossible to move away from her. He sensed she'd let go, that this was what she needed. And, oh my god, he needed it too. Her hands tangled together at the nape of his neck, her fingertips disturbing fine hairs and, for want of a better cliché, shivers passed down his spine. It felt incredibly intimate. Incredibly dangerous. It left him wondering, hoping she'd follow through on this incredible promise.
****
Chen relaxed, trying to be completely comfortable where she was. She was trying to allay her inhibitions. She tried to kick to the kerb any fears she had, and qualms that friends to lovers wasn't an easy transition. She knew she didn't know him inside out, which was why she'd fallen in love so easily, because there was so much of him she knew yet so much she didn't. Her thoughts weren't making any sense any more. She loosened her body, freeing herself and curved herself towards him.
**** He sensed her submission, her relaxation. He tried to give the same back but it was really difficult. He wanted her. But he was really scared. Stereotypical huh? But could he trust her not to leave him? Could he trust himself not to hurt her? Could they make the transition from friends to lovers where others had failed? He wasn't sure he was strong enough yet.
****
The question that now ran in Abby's only too active imagination was her place or his? It was slightly crude and premature. Truth was she didn't care, all she knew was it had to happen and the way she felt the sooner the better. Man, this wasn't a side of her that saw the light of day very often. With the lust and desire running now in her veins, it was firmly at the reins. She hoped he knew it too.
****
What were they waiting for...? She wanted him - she couldn't make it any clearer. And he wanted her - now more than ever.
"You wanna get out of here?"
Thank god she spoke so he didn't have to.
"Where to?" "Who cares?"
She replied. Trying not to be too obvious, they snuck away from the ballroom out the back door. The hallway was cold but there was more than enough heat between them so neither noticed.
****
Chen couldn't help noticing Abby and Dave sneak away together, knowing exactly what was going on. Chen found herself desperately wanting that, tonight not to be left home on her own. She craved another human close, needed to be touched, wanted the contact. Most importantly, she wanted to feel wanted. It was far too long since she'd felt that way. Far too long since she'd been loved in every single sense of the word.
****
What is she doing? She knows she's beautiful, knows she's driving me crazy. Why now? I do want you but I can't bring myself to have you. How could he say that to her? No one wanted to be on their own and she was especially vulnerable.
****
It literally took seconds from the moment they left the crowded ballroom. Their lips met instantly, hands searching, tearing. Her back slammed into the cold wall. She arched herself, pressing her bare stomach to him. She was vulnerable, practically bare but she loved every second. Every touch, every kiss. She gasped, tangling her fingers in his hair, holding him to her.
****
Oh, man. Everything he'd ever fantasised about, the places he thought he'd never get to touch her. Here he was...it was incredible. Instantly, from the mind games of the ballroom they began to play more physical games. She kissed with an incredibly intensity. She submitted to him completely - allowing his hands to roam freely. She may have been submissive but she was still totally in control. He couldn't stop even if he'd wanted to.
****
Chen, sensing the end of the night, tightened her grip, tightened her grip, pulled him towards her in a sudden burst of confidence. She waited a moment for a reaction, any reaction. She decided from the longing feeling in the pit of her stomach that it was now or never. Tilting her head up, she reached up slightly and kissed him softly. He jerked away. Doubt flooded into her.
"What? What's wrong?"
"Deb, you just kissed me," Yeah, I kind of noticed too, she thought almost bitterly. She softened immediately.
"Yeah, I did," She smiled at the serious tone of his voice.
"Are you sure?"
More now than ever. Wouldn't have done it otherwise. Instead of answering, she kissed him again, harder, more demanding.
"That's a yes then?"
Before she answered, she was silenced by his lips on hers.
****
This is how this night should end. He almost had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't living in a fairytale. The feel of her lips on his was somehow the answer to every question that had run through his head in the course of the evening. The dance drew to a close. He fetched her coat and feeling the true gentleman helped her on with it. His hands brushed her bare shoulders. She trembled slightly as his touch. Hiding the longing inside but not very well.
"How are you getting home?" "I thought I'd just get a cab," "We could share one, that is if you don't...." He trailed off, seeing the genuine smile on her face. She linked her arm into his and they left together, walking
Contains very mild adult themes
Chen ran her hands over her dress to straighten any wrinkles left by her jacket. The velvet felt so soft against her hand, the soft flesh beneath it warm and pliable. Her hand rested on the slight roundness of her tummy. Self-conscious she entered the ballroom. It was over awingly beautiful and made her feel very small. The atmosphere was upbeat and lifted her mood immediately. She removed her hand, tilted her chin up and pushed her glossy black hair behind one ear. She would enjoy this night! Many of her colleagues were here already. Elizabeth, radiantly engaged, looked stunning as ever. Her blue dress fell to her ankles, slightly A-line, skimming a perfectly proportioned figure in a sexy but not too sexy way. Tendrils of fiery red hair framed a smiling face as she talked and laughed with her fiancé Mark Greene and OR scrub nurse Shirley and husband Jeremy. Chens eyes travelled. A short burgundy skirt and black top made the most of Abbys usually so serious brunette good looks and perfect size 10 figure. She was dressed up but without looking too formal. Cleo practically shimmered, the pale material of her dress playing off her flawless dark skin. The light danced in her hair and in her eyes. She looked more alive than Chen could recall ever seeing her. Weavers trouser suit was so classically elegant you hardly realised she was the only one in the room not wearing a dress. She rested comfortably on her crutch, sipping a wine glass deep in conversation. Having observed for fully 5 minutes, she wasn't really all there anymore.
"Hey, Jing-Mei, you O.K?" "Yeah, great,"
"Come on, join the party, I'll get you a drink,"
She felt herself pulled to the bar in short order.
****
Why did she look so stunning? What was she trying to do? The way her raven hair shone, the way it moved silkily as she moved her head. The dress - so elegant, so simple, so sexy. The bare shoulders tapered down slender arms, the skin so exposed, so soft. The whole way the dress clung as she moved, revealing a perfect womanly shape. Couldn't she see it was...?
****
Social events were not really her thing. She felt kind of uncomfortable. Some of it was related to the alcohol thing, some of it was about the actual being sociable factor. Abby pulled her skirt down for the hundredth time since she'd arrived, fiddling awkwardly with the straps on her top. In conversation, she avoided eye contact, staring into her glass like it was the most interesting thing in the room. Walking in had intimidated her. All these people, very few of whom she knew. It took a while to acclimatise. Other people were in couples or in groups. Elizabeth and Mark, Cleo and Peter, Kerry and Kim. She felt like an outsider. She'd always felt like one. Abby was Little-Miss-Average everything at school - not surprising with a home life as hectic as hers had been. School hadn't always been her main focus. Neither had socialising. Chattering voices swirled in the air around her, dizzingly. The room seemed huge yet empty. T her, it was a blank space. She stood, fiddling, awkward and alone, just watching. Chen arrived, glanced over and was dragged away again by Carter. She was insignificant. Then again, hadn't she always been? It wasn't who she really was. She felt like screaming or doing something incredibly outrageous just to show them - sensible, reliable Abby had her wild side too. Instead, she twirled the glass between her fingers, separate and distant.
****
Why does she hide herself? She's got a lot to show. That's aside of her legs. There has to be so much more to her we've just never seen. Surely she has her intense, crazy, passionate wild side too. She should really let that go, she'd carry it off. It could be just what she needs, cause she obviously isn't aware of how stunningly beautiful she is. And that's no exaggeration.
****
He's going to think you're flirting, Jing-Mei, grab a hold of yourself. She mentally slapped herself for being so obvious. One drink was all she'd had. Maybe this was just the part of her that never came out at work. The part that was suppressed by her dedication to medicine forsaking all else. This was the part of her that had been devastatingly attracted to him since arriving back in Chicago. Tragedy had followed tragedy, her heart had broken and healed for him so many times, always desperate to tell him but too afraid of the hurt it would cause to ever actually do anything. He was one of her oldest friends - they had always been there for each other, after Lucy died, the painkiller addiction. Well, she'd been there for him. Whether he ever knew that or not was something she didn't know. She couldn't stop loving him though. It didn't work like that.
****
What in the hell signals are these? What is she trying to say? Don't let her reject me too. I can't face it again. I don't want to be alone anymore. She's got to know how that feels. Why she is, well, she's always been a control freak, very dominant. For all her faults, she's still a beautiful person inside and out. She's never done anything to hurt me and I doubt she ever will. Have I hurt her? Is that what this is about? How can I ever know?
****
Don't stare, Abby, don't stare. Whatever held her gaze to him was like a magnet and it was far too strong to break. Her eyes were held and she felt them burning. It was desire, pure and simple, where it had sprung from she was less sure of. She didn't care. This was what she needed. Alcoholic Abby would have flirted. Why can't you? You know he would. She'd been dumped too many times. She needed something that came without strings attached. Someone who, even although they carried their own emotional baggage, wouldn't try and load her with it in addition to her own. She wanted what he could give. She'd always known that, known that the woman inside yearned for reckless abandon. Although she'd brushed him off - thinking she needed someone a little more sophisticated, she knew better now. It was denial. And besides, hadn't that only gotten her involved in manslaughter??
****
The other person was talking but he wasn't listening. He could feel a force from across the room, pulling him to her. He fought to stay in control, to keep his sense. It wasn't easy. The thought had driven him crazy...even having the opportunity felt....He couldn't. He couldn't risk hurting her the way he knew he inevitably would.
****
The night drifted on. Mark and Elizabeth danced slowly, holding each other in the way only couples cab. She watched them, envying the intimacy they shared. Knowing she could have the, but her cautious side holding well back. She glanced at her watch. It was going on for 12:00. It felt like the school disco, when you always wanted to ask that cute boy to dance but never got up the nerve. She listened to all her favourite songs played - those songs there for her in soppy, weak moments. Couples drifted together onto the dancefloor - Peter and Cleo, Kim and Kerry, Shirley and Jeremy. Till it was only her, Carter, Abby and Dave still standing watching. The room was divided - those in love and those blatantly not. And the majority was obvious.
"We should probably dance,"
He whispered in her ear, startling her out of her reverie. His breath disturbed fine hairs on her skin and it tingled a little. Still scared, insides practically shaking, she let herself be led. To a place she wasn't really comfy with. Yet.. she might get used to it in time...You never knew with these things.
****
Trying desperately not to look lonely and solitary wasn't working. Abby watched as Chen and Carter left the bar to hit the dancefloor. Just two left. She wanted to make a move, any move, reduce the distance between them. She gripped her glass tighter and tighter as time wore on. Her eyes focused on the dancefloor, losing all sense of reality. Suddenly, she became aware of a presence beside her. Calming the initial butterflies, she was silent, waiting for him to talk.
"Well, look at that, only two left..."
She couldn't speak, without sounding too defensive and scaring him off. The way he made her feel that was the last thing she wanted.
"Must be fate huh Abby?"
"If you believe in that," "How can you not believe in fate? What other logical explanation is there?"
Well, none. But she couldn't ever admit that.
"Much as this banter is very entertaining, time is wearing on so I'll cut to the chase. You want to dance?"
That was more like the Abby she knew she was. The opening strains of the Foo Fighter "Walking After You" played. Perfect. She led him to the floor. She was in control.
**** Of course he did. He didn't have to answer, he only followed her lead. She had the power now. For the first time, he sensed she knew that. There wasn't a crowd on the dancefloor but she pulled him right to her almost protectively. All his senses were focussed on her at that instant, she was the centre of his universe. All he wanted so close. He knew she was giving him her all. And it scared him a little at first. They were toying with one another and each knew it.
****
His hands rested nervously and lightly on her waist. The velvet was as soft and giving as the skin underneath. She moved easily, gracefully. He could sense she didn't quite know where to put herself, something made her uncomfortable. Her hands knotted uneasily around his neck. He saw Abby pull Dave onto the floor. Instantly, there was centimetres between them, sparks flying, the chemistry visible. Why couldn't it be like that for them? Why was it so awkward?
****
This was what she wanted. She felt insanely comfortable being this close to a man she hardly knew. The rest of the world almost ceased to exist. The magnetic forced that had held her eyes to him now acted on her whole body. She couldn't separate from him even if she wanted to. She felt no shame either. They fitted somehow, in a dangerously sexual way. Her hands knotted tightly at the back of his neck, pulling him to her. He responded by increasing the intensity of his grip on her waist.
****
Couldn't get out now, found it impossible to move away from her. He sensed she'd let go, that this was what she needed. And, oh my god, he needed it too. Her hands tangled together at the nape of his neck, her fingertips disturbing fine hairs and, for want of a better cliché, shivers passed down his spine. It felt incredibly intimate. Incredibly dangerous. It left him wondering, hoping she'd follow through on this incredible promise.
****
Chen relaxed, trying to be completely comfortable where she was. She was trying to allay her inhibitions. She tried to kick to the kerb any fears she had, and qualms that friends to lovers wasn't an easy transition. She knew she didn't know him inside out, which was why she'd fallen in love so easily, because there was so much of him she knew yet so much she didn't. Her thoughts weren't making any sense any more. She loosened her body, freeing herself and curved herself towards him.
**** He sensed her submission, her relaxation. He tried to give the same back but it was really difficult. He wanted her. But he was really scared. Stereotypical huh? But could he trust her not to leave him? Could he trust himself not to hurt her? Could they make the transition from friends to lovers where others had failed? He wasn't sure he was strong enough yet.
****
The question that now ran in Abby's only too active imagination was her place or his? It was slightly crude and premature. Truth was she didn't care, all she knew was it had to happen and the way she felt the sooner the better. Man, this wasn't a side of her that saw the light of day very often. With the lust and desire running now in her veins, it was firmly at the reins. She hoped he knew it too.
****
What were they waiting for...? She wanted him - she couldn't make it any clearer. And he wanted her - now more than ever.
"You wanna get out of here?"
Thank god she spoke so he didn't have to.
"Where to?" "Who cares?"
She replied. Trying not to be too obvious, they snuck away from the ballroom out the back door. The hallway was cold but there was more than enough heat between them so neither noticed.
****
Chen couldn't help noticing Abby and Dave sneak away together, knowing exactly what was going on. Chen found herself desperately wanting that, tonight not to be left home on her own. She craved another human close, needed to be touched, wanted the contact. Most importantly, she wanted to feel wanted. It was far too long since she'd felt that way. Far too long since she'd been loved in every single sense of the word.
****
What is she doing? She knows she's beautiful, knows she's driving me crazy. Why now? I do want you but I can't bring myself to have you. How could he say that to her? No one wanted to be on their own and she was especially vulnerable.
****
It literally took seconds from the moment they left the crowded ballroom. Their lips met instantly, hands searching, tearing. Her back slammed into the cold wall. She arched herself, pressing her bare stomach to him. She was vulnerable, practically bare but she loved every second. Every touch, every kiss. She gasped, tangling her fingers in his hair, holding him to her.
****
Oh, man. Everything he'd ever fantasised about, the places he thought he'd never get to touch her. Here he was...it was incredible. Instantly, from the mind games of the ballroom they began to play more physical games. She kissed with an incredibly intensity. She submitted to him completely - allowing his hands to roam freely. She may have been submissive but she was still totally in control. He couldn't stop even if he'd wanted to.
****
Chen, sensing the end of the night, tightened her grip, tightened her grip, pulled him towards her in a sudden burst of confidence. She waited a moment for a reaction, any reaction. She decided from the longing feeling in the pit of her stomach that it was now or never. Tilting her head up, she reached up slightly and kissed him softly. He jerked away. Doubt flooded into her.
"What? What's wrong?"
"Deb, you just kissed me," Yeah, I kind of noticed too, she thought almost bitterly. She softened immediately.
"Yeah, I did," She smiled at the serious tone of his voice.
"Are you sure?"
More now than ever. Wouldn't have done it otherwise. Instead of answering, she kissed him again, harder, more demanding.
"That's a yes then?"
Before she answered, she was silenced by his lips on hers.
****
This is how this night should end. He almost had to pinch himself to make sure he wasn't living in a fairytale. The feel of her lips on his was somehow the answer to every question that had run through his head in the course of the evening. The dance drew to a close. He fetched her coat and feeling the true gentleman helped her on with it. His hands brushed her bare shoulders. She trembled slightly as his touch. Hiding the longing inside but not very well.
"How are you getting home?" "I thought I'd just get a cab," "We could share one, that is if you don't...." He trailed off, seeing the genuine smile on her face. She linked her arm into his and they left together, walking