Disclaimer: All characters, except Jessie Wolfe, and all settings belong to Grant-Naylor, et al.
Getting to Know You...
Jessie Wolfe was getting worried. She was down to her bra and panties, and was close to having to choose which one of those was to go next. For a moment, she wished she'd done more to learn poker than watching Star Trek:TNG in Cadet school.
"Come on, Canuck. What'll it be?" Although it was her last name, Lister hadn't felt comforatble calling her "Wolfe". The moment he'd first called her "Canuck", it had stuck.
"Give me a moment, I'm thinking."
"You take more time thinking than it does for goal-post head here to move up in rank." The Cat was the only one still fully clothed. It wasn't because he was good at poker, but simply because he wore more clothing than the rest.
Wolfe lay her cards face-down on the table, and they could see her shimmying on her seat a moment. When she'd finished, she threw her panties on top of the pile on the table. "One pair of underwear."
"Okay," stated Lister. "Show what you've got."
Cat only had a pair of Aces. Kryten had two pair. Rimmer showed his flush with a gloating smile, saying "Beat that!"
"All right," Wolfe countered, displaying her full house. "The pot's mine."
"Not so fast." They all looked at Lister. He put his hand on the table, showing his four 2s. Wolfe's face dropped into her hands. With only her bra left, she couldn't continue, knowing she'd only lose it.
"Well, I'm out for the night. Now, if you'll hand me my clothes, I'll head off to bed."
"Tsk, tsk, tsk," Lister started. "Fair is fair. We get to keep what we win here."
"But how on earth am I supposed to get back to my room looking like this?"
"I think that's for you to figure out."
She paused for a moment with an angry look upon her face. God, I wish I had my gun. The look soon changed, and for some reason Lister felt he should worry.
"I don't suppose there's any other way for me to get my clothes back? Anything I can do to win them back?" Her eyes held an evil glint within them.
"What did you have in mind?"
"Now hold on here!" Rimmer interjected.
"Shut up Rimmer. As I was saying, what did you have in mind?"
"Come over here and I'll tell you."
Lister got up and walked over to Wolfe. As she whispered in his ear, his smile fell off his face. He went over to his seat, collected her clothes, and handed them back to her. After she'd gotten dressed, she said her goodnights and left the room.
"What did she say?" asked Cat.
"Nothing. Let's just get back to the game." Smeg, she HAD to have access to the ship's dream
banks, and Starbug's.
* * *
Their shifts were over, and Lister, Cat, Kryten, and Rimmer were seated in Parrott's bar.
"So, Canuck's getting on pretty well here, isn't she."
"Well, she's still coming to terms with a few things. And I worry about her," Rimmer shook his head. "The more time she spends with bums like us, the less she's going to succeed. I'm afraid I'm just going to hold her back."
"Rimmer, it's her life. Let her live it. Maybe she prefers bums like us to the smeghead officers on this ship."
"From what I have observed of Miss Wolfe," piped in Kryten, "she is extremely stubborn and is well capable of taking care of herself. I suspect she worries about you more than you do her."
"Oh, shut up Kryten."
"Smeeee, heeee."
"Speak of the devil," said Cat, momentarily taking his attention away from his reflection in his beer.
Wolfe, still dressed in her uniform, entered Parrott's and headed straight for the bar. Her face was missing its characteristic smile. After receiving her rum and coke, she headed for the table.
"Guys, I think we need to have a little talk."
"What about, Miss Wolfe?" Kryten asked.
"About the time you guys spent in the tank." The boys looked at one another. "How did you do it? How did you get out of your cells to pull those pranks?"
"We can't tell. We'd only get someone in trouble." Lister, for once in his life, looked serious.
"I'm asking off-the-record. Whatever you tell me, I will not repeat. But I need to know so I can make something up to tell the Captain. He's expecting me to tell him something."
"And why should we trust you?"
"We can trust her, Lister," said Rimmer. "I know her better than all of you, and she wouldn't do anything to hurt someone she considers to be her friend."
Lister looked at the faces around the table, all telling him they (God forbid) agreed with Rimmer.
"It was Bob."
"Who's Bob?"
"He's one of the skutters. He'd be our eyes, ears, and hands outside our cells."
"And why did he listen to you?"
"I don't know. Maybe it's our personalities. Maybe he felt sorry for us. It could be anything."
"I think I can answer this question, Sir."
"Go ahead Kryten."
"Ma'am, Mister Lister and I are almost the only individuals on the ship that treat and speak to the skutters as if they were any other sentient being. It was out of their appreciation that they would help us."
"Well," Wolfe thought for a moment, "it'll take me a while to think up something believable, but something will come to me eventually. At times, I'm a master of bull-shit. But then again, I learnt from the best." She mock-punched Rimmer in the shoulder. "So, what's the news on the ship?"
"Nothing much. Still going through space, still trying to get back to Earth," Lister droned.
As they nursed their drinks, the music in the bar changed. Wolfe recognized it as one of her favourite songs. "Hey, guys, who feels like joining me on the dance floor?" Her question was met with blank stares. "Come on, who's going to volunteer? It's not like I'm asking you to have a root canal."
"Well, a root canal would be more fun. At least you don't have to do anything," Lister laughed in his beer.
"Come on. Cat, I know you can dance. Why don't you show me some of your moves?" She looked at him with her best 'puppy-dog' expression.
"All right. I guess I just can't keep all this talent to myself."
She grabbed his arm and led him to the dance floor. They started moving to the music, Cat toning down his steps so she could keep up. It was obvious how much she loved dancing. Rimmer couldn't help but notice the smile on her face, the sway of her hips that matched the music's rhythm perfectly, and the way she mouthed the lyrics to the song. For the slightest moment, Rimmer even felt jealous of the Cat, who was bumping and grinding to the music as much as she. He shook his head and turned his attention to Lister and Kryten.
"...And that's when Petersen says, 'what do you mean I'm drunk. I was born with blood-shot eyes.'"
"Oh, that was a good one, Mister Lister Sir. You really know how to tell a story for the hundredth time."
For a couple of minutes, Kryten regaled them with tales from his adventures in the laundromat. Soon, the Cat sat back down at the table and Rimmer felt a hand on his shoulder. He turned to look at Wolfe, only now realizing the music had changed to a slower pace.
"Your turn, Duke," she whispered in his ear.
"Maybe another time..."
"Come on, just one dance."
Rimmer looked around sheepishly, then whispered in her ear. "I can't dance."
"Then I'll just have to teach you."
"But we'll look ridiculous out there."
"Hey, you know how you always tell me how the others think so poorly of you? Can it get any lower? What have you got to lose?"
Inside, Rimmer let out a tiny giggle. She'd always been able to put things in a unique perspective. "You're right..."
That's all the response she needed. She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of his chair. She's a lot stronger than I thought. I bet she could probably even beat McGruder in the ring.
On the floor, she took his hands and put them behind her. As she placed her hands on his shoulders, she whispered to him. "With this kind of music, it's very simple. Just put your arms around each other, and sway to the music." As she swayed in his arms, he tried to follow her lead. It didn't take him long to match her rhythm, which surprised him. He usually had two left feet when it came to dancing, and no rhythm whatsoever.
Once he no longer had to think about what he was doing, his mind turned to the woman in his arms. He'd expected a woman of her strength to have a hard body, like McGruder's. However, Wolfe felt soft in his arms. She laid her head on his chest, and he began feeling quite strange. He began to acknowledge his attraction to her for the first time, and wavered between feeling confused and guilty. The last he remembered of her was the little 9-year old girl with eternally tear-stained eyes who could only be cheered by a mug of hot cocoa and one of his pictures. She'd been like a little sister to him then...
But this wasn't a 9-year old girl. This was a full-grown woman, with all the parts that made her one. But that wasn't all: she'd known him at his worst, when he was at one of the many lows of his life. She knew everything about his childhood, and how he felt about it. Yet, here she was, in his arms, teaching him to dance...
He felt her pull away and realized the music was over. They walked back to the table and joined
the others.
* * *
"Lister?"
"Yeah, Rimmer."
"Could I ask you something?"
"Sure, man. Go ahead."
"What do you think of Jessie?"
"The Canuck?" He looked down from his bunk to see Rimmer staring at the top of his. "I don't know. She's terrible at poker. She's really nice, but she has one major flaw."
"What's that?
"Well, for some reason, she seems to really like you." He laughed, but got not response from the bottom bunk. "Why do you ask? Are you starting to have feelings for her?"
"Who me? Noooo. I was just curious."
"Well, I'll tell you one thing. She's a pretty good dancer."
"That's for sure."
Lister heard the hint of a deeper meaning in that response. He thought about how much Rimmer had changed in the past week since Wolfe had come aboard. He was livelier, and the glint had reappeared in his eyes. One day, when he'd had the room to himself, Lister had taken a peek into Rimmer's bunk. He'd seen a number of paintings, presumably by Rimmer, tacked to the ceiling. He'd been impressed at how good they were.
Lister knew Wolfe was the reason behind the changes in Rimmer. She was good for him. With
her influence, Rimmer may one day be almost human. However, Lister wondered whether or
not Rimmer would actually let himself be happy. He knew Rimmer had feelings for Wolfe, that
was all too obvious. Whether he would ever express those feelings, Lister didn't know.
* * *
Rimmer and Lister had just finished their shift and were headed back to their room when they were paralyzed by a vision in blue standing by the lift. The woman stood with her back to them. Her dark hair cascaded down her back. The skirt of the dress was very long, almost to the floor with an equally long slit, revealing a very shapely leg.
Lister went into automatic flirt mode. He approached the woman, not hesitating a second. "Care for a lift?" He put on his biggest smile.
The woman turned her face to him, revealing an all-too-familiar pair of blue eyes, made even bluer by the shade of her dress. "Thanks, Lister, but these heels give me enough lift as it is." Her smile spread to her eyes, making them sparkle. "Are you boys on your way off work?"
It took Lister a moment to associate his thoughts with speech. Rimmer was still paralyzed to the spot, now for an altogether different reason.
"Yeah. And where are you headed? I could have been certain we had no uniforms that looked that good."
"I've been invited to dine with the Captain this evening. I have to give him my report on the prisons after supper. I just hope he buys it." She notices Rimmer hadn't said a thing, and hadn't even moved an inch. "Arnold, are you ok?"
Lister elbows Rimmer out of his paralysis. "I'm...I'm fine. It's just I've...I've...never seen you look so...so..." Rimmer's voice trailed off.
Wolfe smiled and blushed. "I wanted to make a good impression for the Captain and his officers. You know how stuck-up they are. You have no worth unless you look like a million bucks." The lift's bell rang and the doors opened. "Well, I'll see you boys later. Wish me luck."
Lister and Rimmer looked at each other, jaws agape. They both knew they would have pleasant
dreams that night.
* * *
"Holly, what time is it?"
"It's ten minutes past the last time you asked me. It's 22:10."
Rimmer had been on edge all evening. He couldn't get the thought of Wolfe at the Captain's table out of his head. There she was, with the likes of Todhunter, et. all., dressed to kill. No sane man could resist her dressed as she was. He couldn't even bear the thought of her leaving dinner with one of those smegheads.
"Holly, has Constable Wolfe returned to her quarters yet?"
"Not yet, Rimmer."
What could be keeping her? He'd been asking Holly for the last two hours whether or not she had returned to her quarters. After the first five requests, Lister had become fed up and had left for the bar. Rimmer thought he should try another tactic.
"Holly, is Constable Wolfe still in the Captain's quarters?"
"No. She left there over an hour ago."
"Why the smegging hell didn't you tell me that?"
"You didn't ask."
"Well, did she leave alone?"
"Yes."
"And where is she now?"
"She is in the observations dome, deck 3."
Rimmer left his room and arrived at the dome as fast as he could. He was pleased to notice Wolfe standing alone. He waited until he had caught his breath, then slowly walked to her. Without turning, she knew he was there, had felt his approach.
"I feel like such a fraud."
Rimmer stopped right behind her. He didn't know what to say, so he just stood and listened.
"You should have seen them. They were so stuck-up. For God's sake, they even served Gazpacho soup. How more pretentious could they get?" Her gentle laugh filled the dome. "The whole time I kept wishing I was hanging out with you guys in the pub. At least there I'm not constantly being hit on by smeghead officers who think they're God's gift to women.
"And they all thought I was just like them. There I was, in this fancy dress, trying to act like one of them, while I'm not. I never have been and never will be. I don't even want to be, but this smegging hierarchy of command means I have to maintain a good relationship with them. If they even had a clue about what I used to be like when you knew me, that at heart I'm more Arnold Rimmer than Todhunter, they'd blacklist me faster than they could say 'gehzundheit'. All they cared about was who I was on the outside. It made me sick to my stomach."
Rimmer moved forward and placed his hands on her shoulders. She leaned back against him and relaxed against his chest. They stayed like that, staring out at the stars, before either of them spoke again.
"Do you think we'll ever reach Earth?"
"I don't think so, Jess. But that won't stop us from trying." He placed a kiss on the top of her head. She turned around so that she was facing him. She looked into his eyes as she spoke.
"Thank you, for being here for me this week. I don't think I could have gotten through it without you."
The electricity that had been drawing them together was now irresistible. Their heads bent
forward as their arms wrapped around each other. The kiss was so deep they didn't even notice
the sound of the door opening, and therefore didn't see the figure in the doorway smile one of
his characteristic grins. It's about smegging time, Lister thought as he walked away from the
dome, giving the couple their privacy.