Operation: Ranma Relief
Chapter II
Operation: Duck de la orange
"Are you sure this part is going to work?" Mousse asked cautiously. He was half way ready for the next scene, but the idea was still uncomfortable. Ryoga dumped a bucket of water on his reluctant accomplice and shoved him into the cooking plate.
"I'm sure! Now... Bite this apple or something... That's what they always make me do." He looked down unrepentantly at the scowling duck and poured orange sauce on him. "Now hush up, I hear them coming."
"P-CHHAAAANNNN!!! WHERE ARE YOU???"
"Yo! Pig boy! Stop hiding!" Akane and Ranma rounded the corner, both shouting for the "lost" porker. Ryoga pulled on his fake moustache and hid his bandanna in his pocket. He looked over at Ranma who was still in his girl form and smirked haughtily.
"Madam, your table awaits." He stated in his bad English impression. Ranma looked at him blankly and Akane started sputtering. "I really must insist. The master has need of your *cough* gracious presence." With that said he pulled out a mallet and knocked him/her out.
"Wait just one second! Ranma has to help me find P-chan! He doesn't have time for a stupid date!" Akane protested, hanging onto the back of Ryoga's shirt.
"I apologize my-er… madam, but I really must insist." Ryoga said, forcing himself not to cave as he was wont to do. He dragged Ranma's unconscious body around the corner and looked around blankly.
"Quack" Came from somewhere over to his right, and he began to follow the sound blindly. Soon he found himself in front of the Cat Café, looking down at a half drowned duck and a knocked out Kuno. He quickly splashed water in Kuno's face, hoping Akane hadn't seen his previous state.
Kuno looked around blankly. "Wha-Pig tailed girl! Oh how my heart has longed for the day you would invite me out to lunch! Oh joyous day!" He shouted, glomping the still unconscious Ranma to his chest.
"Nihao and welcome to the ca-Aihyaa!!! What you do with Shampoo's Airan? Is Mousse you serve my beloved?" She looked over and noticed that Ranma wasn't making many protests at the way he was being treated and began to get mad. "Mousse is no on menu! You have pay double for him!" She said and knocked Kuno out once more with her bonbori.
"Ranma! Why you let pervert man touch you? You no man! Shampoo no love you no more!" She said, walking away from the table with a flounce. Ranma woke up groggily, just before she stated coldly. "Cooked Duck, two hundred yen! Get while hot!"
A pathetic "Quack." Came from the table behind her.
Ryoga said nothing, merely knocking Ranma out once more, handing a tissue to the still bawling Akane, grabbing Mousse and running as fast as he could in the opposite direction.
He dumped the sticky duck in the nearest pool house and sighed. "That didn't work out exactly as I had planned… But look at it this way, Shampoo doesn't love either of you now."
"Yeah, she only tried to sell me for two hundred yen… Let's face it. This will never work." Mousse said morosely. "I might as well go back to China."
"When at last we finally have some hope? I don't think so! Sooner or later Akane's going to remember that it's Ranma's fault for P-chan running away, and Shampoo is going to realize that you would never cheat on her, unlike Ranma! We have only just begun to fight!" Ryoga said brashly. They both walked out of the bathhouse with their heads held high… just as someone poured a bucket of cold fluid out the window.
"What if someone was out there?"
"Nope… Nobody other then a pig and a duck."
"Quack."
"Squee!"
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