Chapter Four: Interviewing Irvy

H: Hi!

ZBG: Yup! It's us again!

H: Mwahahahaha!

ZBG: {All: Creeeeeeepy}

H: Who's our guest today?

ZBG: Irvine Kinneas.

H: Erm.. ya know.. Irvine's Girl asked us to be nice to him.. and we never deny a fan... so...

ZBG: Erm.. right.. Irvy?

Irvy: Well, hello, ladies. Might I say that you both look lovely tonight.

H blushes.

ZBG: *ahem* How are ya doing?

I: I'm okay, how about you, doll?

ZBG: Doll? Erm... I'm okay.

H: {Drools} Me too..

I: How 'bout you two beautiful women ask me some questions, and then I take you both out to dinner, my treat?

H: Whatever you say, Irvy-Wirvy.

ZBG: o.0 Erm... Let's just ask some questions! First, is it true that after the end of FF8 you and Selphie Tilmitt hooked up?

I: Well, I'm not one to settle down..

H: So that's a no?

I: But, I like Selphie alot...

ZBG: So that's a yes?

I: Maybe.

ZBG&H: Sigh.

H: Okay, Irvy, next question.

I: Shoot.

ZBG draws her gun.

H: Zell!

ZBG: He said shoot!

H: He didn't mean literally!

ZBG {Disappointed}: Oh..

H: How do you feel about all the Zelphie ficcies out there?

I: First off all, I wanna make this clear, you CAN'T rape the willing!

ZBG: So, Selphie's willing?

I: Uh.. I didn't say that...

H: So, she won't give it up?

I: I didn't say that either!

ZBG: Just answer the question, sir.

I: Um... -Looks at the camera- LISTEN TO ME, DINCHT! YOU WILL NEVER, EVER, GET SELPHIE! SHE'S MY GIRLFRIEND AND SHE LOVES ME! NOT YOU! SO..... GO MARCH IN A GAY PRIDE PARADE OR SOMETHING!

ZBG: o.0

H {Sadly}: So, you are dating Selphie...

I {Blushes}: I plead the fifth.

ZBG: Hehehe.

H pouts.

ZBG: Okay, Irvy, have you slept with Selphie Tilmitt?

I: Wha?! Aren't you getting kinda personal?!

ZBG: You have! Haven't you?! Admit it!

I: ERRRRRRRRRMMMMMMMMMMMMM...........AHHHHHHHHH.........UHHHHHHHH........UMMMMMMMM......

H: I think I'm gonna cry...

ZBG: o.0

I: I DID NOT HAVE SEXUAL RELATIONS WITH THAT WOMAN!

H: ???

ZBG: ???

I: ..............nevermind....

H: ......Right....

ZBG: .......Uh-huh....

I: Hey, ZBG, I've got a question for you.

ZBG: Hey! We ask the questions here!

H: Zell! Let Irvy ask a question! -Drools-

ZBG: Hmph...fine...but JUST one!

I: Okay, ZBG, why do you call me a man-whore? Why are you so mean to me? -Starts to cry- What'd I ever do to you to make you hate me?

ZBG: -Blinks- Actually, when I first got the game, I fell in love with you... but, then I read FlowerGirl862000's fan ficcie, and fell in love with Zell and Seifie, and began to hate you.

I: WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! I'm not gay! I'm not a man-whore! I love Sefie!

H runs off crying.

ZBG: Erm... that concludes this show! Bye everyone! -Chases after H-

I: -Grins- Heheheh... Hey ladies... if you're looking for a goodtime... my number is 1-900-MAN-WHORE.

ZBG: I heard that!

I: Eep! -Runs off-













H: Not amusing at all... -sniffles-

ZBG: Nah, can't be funny when ya can't be mean....gr.... :p

H: I just wanna go lie down now...

-H walks off-

ZBG: What she sees in that guy, I'll never know... Hmmm... I wonder who we're interviewing next.... -shifts through her papers and check- Hehehehehe.... This'll be REALLY fun! -EvilGrin-

Pikachu: Stay tuned for next weeks episode of "Final Fantasy 8 Interviews"! And remember......PIKA PIKA!!!

-ZBG kills Pikachu-




*This ficcie was sold to a cardboard box for free. FF8 is still property of SS. FlowerGirl862000 is a wonderful YAOI fan ficcie author, and we pray to God she doesn't sue our asses. :) Pikachu sadly belongs to someone.. 1-900-MAN-WHORE is not a real number... Erm... I don't think... Dunno.. Never tried it out... H is property of Grant and ZBG is property of Angelina Jolie.*