Toy Soldiers

Warnings: 1x2; 2x1? Deathfic… sad.. drug use, mild swearing. Keep tissues handy!

Toy Soldiers – Martika

/mumble mumble/ thoughts

yum yum lyrics

Denotes flashback.

C&C are welcome! This isn't even beta-read and it's my first GW fic EVER! So do try and be nice to me… Oh yeah, and I'm planning to win the lottery and buy the GW universe so look out! In the mean time they're still not mine. ;;

Step by step,

Heart to heart

Left right left

We all fall down like toy soldiers….

December, AC201

It wasn't my intention to mislead you

It never should have been this way

What can I say

Heero stands at the dresser, his empty gaze settling on the reflection of his lover sitting on the bed. He is slumped over his legs, his head in his hands. Long hair provides a curtain to hide the tears of his lover. A mission statement beeps on the laptop across the room. "I'm sorry, Duo. But you knew this peace wouldn't last forever. I'm a soldier; this is all I'm good for. I have to go fight." Heero grips the ends of the dresser, the muscles in his back spasm under the tension.

"Heero, it's not even our war to fight anymore. Let someone else risk life and limb for their beliefs. We have no more enemies. You said yourself that your enemies were those that stood against you. Who do you have to fight?" Duo pulls on a pair of jeans before rising and walking to Heero's back. He places his hand on Heero's shoulder only to see him flinch away.

"Don't make me fight you then Duo… Don't stand in my way. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't go out there and do my part." Heero turns around and brushes hair away from Duo's cheek. Tears stream down his own face but he wipes away his lover's instead. "If I couldn't live with myself, how do you think I could ever give you whatever you needed?" Heero leans down and places a kiss on Duo's forehead. "God you're beautiful. So beautiful…please don't cry."

It's true I did extend the invitation

I never knew how long you'd stay

"I knew that I wouldn't be able to hold you in my world forever. Just know that I'll always be here to patch you up after the battles, my perfect soldier." Duo reaches up and pulls Heero into a bruising kiss, hoping that the searing heat would weld their bodies together.

Heero breaks the kiss and wraps his arms around his love's waist. "You know I can't guarantee my life lasting through this war, but I'll make my way back to you somehow, even if only in spirit."

When you hear temptation call

It's your heart that takes, takes a fall

Duo nods, watching his lover turn and exit the room. It isn't until he hears the car pull away from the house that he falls to his knees, a lone scream carrying the weight of his agony and despair.

Won't you come out and play with me

AC196

The war is over, and two pairs of lovers meet in a crushing embrace. Along with a fifth the group sends whoops and hollers into the mass of cheering civilians. The media surrounds them, but the pilots pay no attention. They are too busy chasing each other around in a game resembling tag from their childhood. Heero catches up with a flying braid and pulls its owner to the ground with him. They roll into a kiss that leaves them both breathless. An uncommon sound arises from the group as the pilots break into laughter…

AC202

Step by step

Heart to heart

Left right left

We all fall down like toy soldiers

The war has already taken a year away from its combatants. Heero leads an army into battle, all the troops follow his every move. The enemy is strong, and all around him his army begins to fall. Hundreds of mobile suits lay at the Gundam's feet after the battle, Heero being the only survivor. The Gundam drops to its knees, symbolic of what the pilot himself feels.

Bit by bit

Torn apart

We never win

But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

Months have passed since Heero contacted Duo last. Duo watches the news and searches the Internet for any information on the status of his love, but finds nothing. Duo finds comfort in the bottle.

It's getting hard to wake up in the morning

My head is spinning constantly

How can it be

Heero wakes up after an endless night of nightmares and dreams of the deaths of his comrades. /How can I keep doing this? I'm letting everyone die around me, for what? The victories are meaningless…why am I even fighting/

How could I be so blind to this addiction

If I don't stop the next one's gonna be me

Duo wakes up 3 days later in the back of an alley, bottle of vodka still in his hand, a syringe dangling from his arm. He pulls it out and tosses it into the dumpster. /Sure glad Heero's not here… what would he say about me going back to my old ways? Shit, Heero… why aren't you here to stop me! I need you/

Only emptiness remains

It replaces all, all the pain

Heero looks in the mirror, his Perfect Soldier mask back in place. /It hurts too much to think of him now. He is my past, the battle is the only thing that matters now…Dammit! How can I even think like that! He's taught me so much about my emotions; I can't push them away now! A few more battles, then I'll be able to go home./

Won't you come out and play with me

Heero picks Duo up and enters the house. Duo grins and a small giggle escapes his lips. "What was that for, Hee-chan?"

"I read something about having to carry the bride across the threshold of their first house."

Duo's eyes light up. "You…you mean it Heero? This is…ours? And you're going to be mine on top of it?" He throws his arms around Heero's neck, tears staining the collar of the shirt beneath him.

"Hai, Duo, forever. Ai Shiteru."

December AC203

Step by step

Heart to heart

Left right left

We all fall down like toy soldiers

/Duo, I can't wait! I finish this battle and I can come home to you/ Heero smiles as his beam saber slices through an enemy mobile suit. He doesn't see the suit come from behind and he falls down, destroyed. /Duo my love, I'm coming home… in spirit anyway./ "Duo…"

Bit by bit

Torn apart

We never win

But the battle wages on for toy soldiers

"And today we mourn the loss of Heero Yuy, General of the Earth Army, former Gundam pilot, and hero to us all…" Duo turns off the television and lies down on the bed. Tears stream down his face as he rolls over and looks in the nightstand drawer. Finding what he's looking for, he ties a rubber band around his arm, finding his vein for the last time. /I'll be with you always, Heero, take me or leave me. I won't let you leave alone./

We never win…

Only emptiness remains

It replaces all, all the pain

fin