Disclaimer: I don't own them I just play with them.
Spoilers: There most likely is.
Dedication: To those who have told me they like my
stories.
Feedback: PLEASE.
Author's Note: words in italics are lyrics from
Still by Reba Macintyre.
Fade
to Black
Chapter
3
Thousands of people live in this town and I had to
run into him.
When I saw him there on that busy street those
feelings came back again.
There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, he
walked up to me and looked in my eyes…
And still, my world stood still.
I couldn't move and all I could feel was this
aching in my heart saying I loved him still.
"Buffy."
Angel stood in the doorway to my room. He looked incredible,
more so than I had remembered. The hair on the top of his head was lighter and
if I had to describe it I would have to say the sun kissed the top of his head
the way he used to kiss mine. He had a slight tan but you could still see the
healthy pink glow to his skin. I could see the rise and fall of his chest and
it was amazing almost hypnotic. We all take things like breathing for granted
but when you haven't taken a breath in your lungs for almost three centuries it
was truly a sight to behold.
Well it hasn't exactly been that long since he took
a breath out of necessity rather than habit. There was that day that we shared.
That perfect day when his humanity was accidentally bestowed upon him. How I
marveled at the feel of his sweet warm breath on my face and neck and the sound
of his heart beating in his chest. No other sound has ever sounded as sweet to
my ears as that of Angel's heartbeat. That day was something out of my dreams,
dreams that have once again come true.
I trailed my eyes up and down the length of him
until they came to settle on his face and more specifically into his own eyes.
Once again I found myself lost in those beautiful mysterious orbs. It's all
about the eyes with Angel. I can't get enough of those big brown puppy dog eyes
of his. They used to speak for him when words failed him. One look and I could
see love, anger, hatred, disappointment, frustration and hurt, you name it and
I could read it just by looking into his eyes.
I heard someone say once that the eyes are the
windows to the soul and no truer words have been spoken when it comes to Angel.
His soul shines brightly there. When I fought Angelus and he was trying to
bring forth Acathla and Willow had re-cursed him it was his eyes that told me
Angel was back. Like I said with Angel it's all about the eyes. Not that the
rest of him isn't something to look at because he is breathtaking.
I mean that literally because Willow has had to
poke me and make me let go of the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Angel
just does that to me. I drop my gaze and take an extra breath before looking
back up at him. I want to say something to him; anything but when I open my
mouth all I can say is his name.
"Angel."
Never has so much emotion gone into one word
before. I have so much that I want to say, that I want to ask but once again I
feel the tears welling up and I can't open my mouth without a sob escaping. I
want nothing more than to have him here but I am worried about Kevin coming
upstairs however not as much as I am about Giles and Xander. I look to Willow
and without speaking she understands what it is I want her to do. She gives my
hand a squeeze and then walks over to Angel.
"Angel you being here isn't a good idea so why
don't we take a walk." She puts her hand on his arm and Angel looks from Willow
to me and I can see panic and hurt flash in his eyes. I try to speak but words
fail me and Willow doesn't miss a beat.
"Angel it's just that Buffy has visitors downstairs
that won't understand you being here."
Angel's eyes haven't left me and I can see he is
looking for some sign that I want to see him. I can tell by the look on his
face that he is searching for the right words to say to me. The perfect
question to which my answer will tell him everything he wants to know. He takes
a breath and closes his eyes and then his eyes find mine as I wait with bated
breath and then…
"You still my girl?" He asks and I can hear both
fear and hope in his voice. It has come out barely above a whisper and anyone
else wouldn't have heard it, anyone but a Slayer. He stands firm and I can tell
that he won't let Willow lead him away until I give him an answer. And I know
that my answer will decide whether he just walks out of my room or back out of
my life.
I look down at my hands a moment playing with my
fingers and trying so hard not to cry. So much had happened in the past ten
years. I had fallen in love the first time I looked into his eyes. I saw his
true face the first time we kissed and still I loved him. I gave myself to him
heart, mind, body and soul and in the process I destroyed his. I sent him to
hell and subsequently brought him back. He broke up with me and headed off to
LA and took everything good in me with him. We shared one perfect day that
showed me somewhere somehow dreams do come true. He came to my side when I
needed him most, when mom died.
We went around in circles. No matter how far we
strayed, no matter what fate threw at us we always found our way back to one
another. Case in point, here he stands in my hospital room six long years since
he held me last at my mother's graveside. So after everything we'd gone
through, after all we'd said and done. After all the hurt and tears shed was I
still his girl?
Thousands of people live in this town and I had to
run into him.
When I saw him there on that busy street those
feelings came back again.
There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, he
walked up to me and looked in my eyes…
And still, my world stood still.
I couldn't move and all I could feel was this aching
in my heart saying I loved him still.
I took a deep shuddering breath and wiped the tears
from my eyes and then I brought my gaze back to his and I held it there a
moment before I did something I haven't done in so very long.
I smiled and then gave him his answer.
"Always."
Satisfied for the moment Angel allows himself to be
pulled out of the room by Willow. I watch the door for a few minutes after he
has gone and then I try to get a grip on my emotions.
