"Gweeeeeeeeen-n-n-n, my head's all cold and wet..."
Gwen sighed heavily and gently massaged her temples. It was like Fran Drescher was living in her ear. She glanced over from her book at Theresa lying motionless on the countertop. Well, motionless except for her flapping mouth. She lay face down, her head resting on an ice cube.
"My pillow's melting..." Theresa continued to moan.
"You're lucky you didn't break anything" Gwen mused.
Theresa wrinkled her nose and her lip quivered slightly as she rose to her feet. She gingerly rubbed her head and whimpered as she fingered her tattered clothing.
"Gwen, this dress is ruined, can you..."
"What? Let you borrow one of mine? I don't think any of my clothes are *quite* your size... unless you want to wear a rolled up sock." Gwen was becoming quite pleased with herself and her witty retorts.
Theresa was not quite so amused. "Well, what I am I supposed to wear? This dress is ruined..."
Gwen got up from her chair and slipped into the kitchen. She returned with a pair of scissors and a paper bag. Like Martha Stewart working on some fabulous project, she happily snipped three holes in the bag and tossed her creation in front of Theresa.
"There, a beautiful ball gown for the Paper Bag Princess."
Theresa lifted the bad like it was contaminated, then jutted it to the side.
"Oh what's the matter your majesty? Not your colour?" Gwen said in a mocking baby voice.
Theresa's chin quivered and she sat down hunched over with her arms crossed across her chest. Gwen laughed brightly and returned to her reading when the tiny thump of a tiny foot sheathed in a tiny pink platform shoe beckoned her back.
"Take me shopping" she said indignantly, her nose raised high in the air, "Or I'll scream."
This really was like raising a child. Gwen slipped on her jacket, scooped up Theresa in her palm, deposited the little minion in her purse, and ventured out into the streets of Harmony. Gwen would stop to browse, and Theresa's head would promptly pop up on cue. Finally, after an arduous journey along the boardwalk, Theresa giddily pointed to a dress she liked. Gwen raised an eyebrow curiously, then realised that Theresa's choice was practical, if not odd. She stepped into the store and brought her items to the cashier.
"Miss? You want to buy Totally Hair Barbie?" the young girl at the cash asked snapping her gum, her eyes showing a slight bit of concern for Gwen's sanity.
Gwen cleared her throat and confidently stated "Yes, it's..umm... for my niece.." Or maybe it wasn't so confidently...
"Oh of course.." the girl mumble slipping the box into the plastic bag.
"Shoes!" came a tiny squeak from Gwen's purse.
The girl's bubble grew larger and larger and she stared in disbelief at the talking bag. The bubble finally snapped as she dropped the coins she was holding.
"Shoes, yes... no outfit is complete without shoes!" Gwen laughed nervously, trying to imitate the high pitched voice.
The girl smiled and nodded her head. She reached over to pick up a pair of Barbie shoes. Her movements were slow and precise, as if Gwen was holding a gun to her head. She handed Gwen her merchandise and change, and Gwen managed to mutter a hurried 'Thank You' before rushing out the door. Cursing under her breath, she sat down exhausted on a bench in Lighthouse Park. Theresa poked her head out and began riffling through the shopping bag. She retrieved her new frock and happily held it in front of her. She admired the frilly pink trim on the hem, and the sequins that lined the bodice.
"Gwen, what do you think?"
"Charming, simply charming.." is all Gwen could muster as she closed her eyes and felt her forehead with the back of her hand.
"Be careful what you wish for Gwennie, you might just get it..." Tabitha chortled. She propped her elbows on the table and resting her chin in her hands, she gazed merrily into her scrying bowl. She grasped the stem of her Martimmy glass, swished the bright liquid around, and took a satisfied sip. "Why so melancholy lad?"
Timmy's eyes drooped slightly at the corners, his mouth curled into a sad curve. "Timmy feels bad for Theresa, and Gwen. They both seem so unhappy."
"Oh hush Timmy, this worrywart act of yours is getting tiresome. Let's just enjoy these misadventures while we can! It's like a bloody soap opera!"
"Soap operas are dumb" Timmy murmured, "so much pain and suffering..."
"But that's the best part! All the agony, the drama, the horrible wardrobes... if only real life were that interesting. This is one of those rare instances where it is. Let's take a peek at what's happening now..."
Theresa was still cheerfully modelling her new outfit when Timmy and Tabby looked upon the scene once more.
"Why am I doing this?" Gwen thought to herself, "I hate her. I *hate* her more than anything, and now I am *helping* her. You've gone soft Gwen. Soft and squishy like JELL-O. Perhaps a little wiggly...arrrgh stupid metaphors... or similes... stupid poetic devices in general..."
Gwen's inner monologue blocked her from hearing Theresa's impatient squeakes. "Can we *please* go now?" she groaned like a whiny child.
Gwen took in a deep breath and sighed, once again wondering exactly why she was helping this loathsome creature.
Their shopping excursion lasted for a few more hours, with Theresa's head bobbing in and out of Gwen's bag to take a peek at the store windows. They passed yet another glass pane when something metallic caught Gwen's eye.
A cage.
She was standing in front of a pet store, looking at the display case. They were having a sale. On cages. Her eyebrow snapped up in a mischievious arc. She admired a hamster cage, it's metallic fram glistening in the sunlight. She could picture Theresa in that cage, nibbling on nuggets of hamster food, sipping water from the water bottle, and sleeping on the wood chips. Her favourite image that she conjured up was that of Theresa running feverishly on the exercise wheel, her front teeth like two white chicklets sticking out from her upper lip. Theresa did resemble a hamster, Gwen reasoned, with her beady little eyes and contorted facial expressions. She placed a polished finger on the glass as cheerful thoughts of a hamster Theresa danced in her head.
She was snatched cruelly from her reverie by a light tap on her shoulder.
"Gwen, what are you doing?" came a warm yet concerned voice behind her.
"Ethan..."
Gwen sighed heavily and gently massaged her temples. It was like Fran Drescher was living in her ear. She glanced over from her book at Theresa lying motionless on the countertop. Well, motionless except for her flapping mouth. She lay face down, her head resting on an ice cube.
"My pillow's melting..." Theresa continued to moan.
"You're lucky you didn't break anything" Gwen mused.
Theresa wrinkled her nose and her lip quivered slightly as she rose to her feet. She gingerly rubbed her head and whimpered as she fingered her tattered clothing.
"Gwen, this dress is ruined, can you..."
"What? Let you borrow one of mine? I don't think any of my clothes are *quite* your size... unless you want to wear a rolled up sock." Gwen was becoming quite pleased with herself and her witty retorts.
Theresa was not quite so amused. "Well, what I am I supposed to wear? This dress is ruined..."
Gwen got up from her chair and slipped into the kitchen. She returned with a pair of scissors and a paper bag. Like Martha Stewart working on some fabulous project, she happily snipped three holes in the bag and tossed her creation in front of Theresa.
"There, a beautiful ball gown for the Paper Bag Princess."
Theresa lifted the bad like it was contaminated, then jutted it to the side.
"Oh what's the matter your majesty? Not your colour?" Gwen said in a mocking baby voice.
Theresa's chin quivered and she sat down hunched over with her arms crossed across her chest. Gwen laughed brightly and returned to her reading when the tiny thump of a tiny foot sheathed in a tiny pink platform shoe beckoned her back.
"Take me shopping" she said indignantly, her nose raised high in the air, "Or I'll scream."
This really was like raising a child. Gwen slipped on her jacket, scooped up Theresa in her palm, deposited the little minion in her purse, and ventured out into the streets of Harmony. Gwen would stop to browse, and Theresa's head would promptly pop up on cue. Finally, after an arduous journey along the boardwalk, Theresa giddily pointed to a dress she liked. Gwen raised an eyebrow curiously, then realised that Theresa's choice was practical, if not odd. She stepped into the store and brought her items to the cashier.
"Miss? You want to buy Totally Hair Barbie?" the young girl at the cash asked snapping her gum, her eyes showing a slight bit of concern for Gwen's sanity.
Gwen cleared her throat and confidently stated "Yes, it's..umm... for my niece.." Or maybe it wasn't so confidently...
"Oh of course.." the girl mumble slipping the box into the plastic bag.
"Shoes!" came a tiny squeak from Gwen's purse.
The girl's bubble grew larger and larger and she stared in disbelief at the talking bag. The bubble finally snapped as she dropped the coins she was holding.
"Shoes, yes... no outfit is complete without shoes!" Gwen laughed nervously, trying to imitate the high pitched voice.
The girl smiled and nodded her head. She reached over to pick up a pair of Barbie shoes. Her movements were slow and precise, as if Gwen was holding a gun to her head. She handed Gwen her merchandise and change, and Gwen managed to mutter a hurried 'Thank You' before rushing out the door. Cursing under her breath, she sat down exhausted on a bench in Lighthouse Park. Theresa poked her head out and began riffling through the shopping bag. She retrieved her new frock and happily held it in front of her. She admired the frilly pink trim on the hem, and the sequins that lined the bodice.
"Gwen, what do you think?"
"Charming, simply charming.." is all Gwen could muster as she closed her eyes and felt her forehead with the back of her hand.
"Be careful what you wish for Gwennie, you might just get it..." Tabitha chortled. She propped her elbows on the table and resting her chin in her hands, she gazed merrily into her scrying bowl. She grasped the stem of her Martimmy glass, swished the bright liquid around, and took a satisfied sip. "Why so melancholy lad?"
Timmy's eyes drooped slightly at the corners, his mouth curled into a sad curve. "Timmy feels bad for Theresa, and Gwen. They both seem so unhappy."
"Oh hush Timmy, this worrywart act of yours is getting tiresome. Let's just enjoy these misadventures while we can! It's like a bloody soap opera!"
"Soap operas are dumb" Timmy murmured, "so much pain and suffering..."
"But that's the best part! All the agony, the drama, the horrible wardrobes... if only real life were that interesting. This is one of those rare instances where it is. Let's take a peek at what's happening now..."
Theresa was still cheerfully modelling her new outfit when Timmy and Tabby looked upon the scene once more.
"Why am I doing this?" Gwen thought to herself, "I hate her. I *hate* her more than anything, and now I am *helping* her. You've gone soft Gwen. Soft and squishy like JELL-O. Perhaps a little wiggly...arrrgh stupid metaphors... or similes... stupid poetic devices in general..."
Gwen's inner monologue blocked her from hearing Theresa's impatient squeakes. "Can we *please* go now?" she groaned like a whiny child.
Gwen took in a deep breath and sighed, once again wondering exactly why she was helping this loathsome creature.
Their shopping excursion lasted for a few more hours, with Theresa's head bobbing in and out of Gwen's bag to take a peek at the store windows. They passed yet another glass pane when something metallic caught Gwen's eye.
A cage.
She was standing in front of a pet store, looking at the display case. They were having a sale. On cages. Her eyebrow snapped up in a mischievious arc. She admired a hamster cage, it's metallic fram glistening in the sunlight. She could picture Theresa in that cage, nibbling on nuggets of hamster food, sipping water from the water bottle, and sleeping on the wood chips. Her favourite image that she conjured up was that of Theresa running feverishly on the exercise wheel, her front teeth like two white chicklets sticking out from her upper lip. Theresa did resemble a hamster, Gwen reasoned, with her beady little eyes and contorted facial expressions. She placed a polished finger on the glass as cheerful thoughts of a hamster Theresa danced in her head.
She was snatched cruelly from her reverie by a light tap on her shoulder.
"Gwen, what are you doing?" came a warm yet concerned voice behind her.
"Ethan..."