"I Do Not Cry"
I was injured when you left to die,
But something would not let me cry.
I felt pain enough to lie,
But my eyes always remained dry.
My act always managed to get me by,
And I never, not once had to cry.
I could speak a dashing goodbye,
But I could not seem to cry.
I never knew how or why,
Not a single tear left my eye.
Alas, what I did not see,
Was that is slowly shattered me…
When my hurt I strived to hide,
Caused me to bleed on the inside…
* * * * * * * * * * *
SHATTERING OF A BROKEN SOUL
CHAPTER TWELVE
Mom-me? Mom-me? Where are you? Where are you going?
Bejita… take my hand… Come now, child…
Mom-me?
The child lunged forward and desperately tried to reach his mother's hand… Just as their fingers began to entwine, the hand of the mother became translucent. The figure of the Queen vanished and Bejita fell through where she once lingered… Falling… Falling… Deeper… Darker… Deeper… Darker… into the depths of the unknown… The young prince lost all sense of kinesthesia and all sense of reason…
With a sickening thud he hit the ground of the abyss… He became aware that the descent was over… It was pitch black all around. He couldn't see his own hand for it was shrouded by the darkness… He reached his tiny hand out and groped around the ground…
Strange… He felt like he was reaching down… as if he was being held up slightly by something… As he felt the ground once more, he felt something wet, warm, and sticky… but he could not see what it was… His face was in it… he licked his cheek to see if the liquid was recognizable…
Blood. He was lying face down in blood! Where was it coming from?! Where?!
Bejita gasped. He had the most bizarre feeling that something was in his chest… no, through his chest! His small, soft hand brushed the area of suspicion… Yes… He had been impaled on something sharp… Impaled?!
* * * * * * * * * * *
Bejita Ouji threw back the covers in frenzy and jerked upright in fear. His hand flew to his chest … nothing was there! Nothing was in his chest… He hadn't been impaled… Relief flooded to his mind… In fact, he was in his own silk bed! Huh? He was forgetting something… Something important! What was it?
The Queen. She was dead.
Wait! Maybe that had been part of the nightmare, too! Maybe Mom-me wasn't dead! A glimmer of hope shone in his dark eyes. Not paying any attention to dress properly, he jumped out of bed and stumbled toward the door. Quietly, he peeked his face out.
No guards? Strange.
The prince trotted on tiptoe down the 5th hall. He rounded a corner successfully and headed for the 17th hall; the royal courtroom was his destination. Surely answers would be waiting there.
Strange. There were no people anywhere… No Saiyajins at all. And it was eerily silent. Bejita felt very alone… and a little bit scared.
When he arrived at the courtroom, no one was there. He traveled all around the palace, but not a soul was to be found. The toddler began to panic. Could this be another dream? A dream within a dream?
As he staggered weakly around the grounds, tears began to well up in his eyes. Sobs were trying to escape from his throat. He was fighting a fierce battle trying to keep them away. He hated tears and 'all that crying stuff.' It was evil as far as he was concerned; a demon out to diminish honor, that's what it was!
He lost coordination and his feet led him to various locations. He became an unconscious wanderer… His feet swept him up a staircase that he had never stepped upon… In actuality, it led to a huge meeting room. The room was large enough to fit the entire inhabitants of the palace and nobility in! And the ceilings were incredibly high! It was the one place Bejita had not yet checked…
He stumbled up the stairs and was met by the final obstacle of two colossal metal doors. He gazed upward. This one had a configuration pad; meaning high security… No doorknobs, they were opened by the very-very-high control panel. He stretched his arm out as far as it would go… Frustrated, he stood on tipsy-toe…still, he couldn't manage to reach it!
An idea was forming in his mind… He quickly dashed downstairs… What luck! The library was nearby! Ha! Nobody was in the library either… Bejita gathered as many of the biggest books he could find…
::This should work nicely…:: he thought as a small smirk crossed his features.
Back up the stairs, back down the stairs… this process repeated until he had stacked up enough books the reach the 'open button.' He carefully climbed up the unsteady pile of books… He stretched out his little arm…
"A-ha! It wo-orked!"
Success!
After his pride filled thoughts subsided, he thought: Why didn't I try jumping? Oh, well. Too late now. Besides, this is 'more-easy'.
He pressed the big, 'open' button and the doors slid open. (wow!) Unfortunately, when they opened, the stack of books fell! If you may have guessed, it was partially leaning on them. Along with the books fell Bejita!
'THUMP'
To his horror, he heard a few stifled laughs along with the occasional gasp… Who would dare?! Waitaminute… Sound… Sound meant people… When he surveyed the scene, he saw 'bunches-and-bunches' of Saiyajins! All of the nobility were present… as well as the whole palace staff!
:: So this is where everybody is!:: he pondered in astonishment.
Something was wrong… This was a… S-Saiyajin funeral ceremony…Up the aisle was a sight that made his face go white as chalk…
Mom-me.
That meant that Mom-me had died after all…
For the blink of an eye, the prince's face took to an ashen depressed fashion… But in remembrance of the large crowd, he quickly scribbled a blank expression on his features. This frozen demeanor sent chills down various spines in the room… And Bejita could feel penetrating eyes pummeling into him… It was an obligation to speak…
"Hello."
His own monotone surprised him. It sounded so… cold. Colder and more stable than even he had expected… With grim terror he realized that he was still on the floor… It was not at all befitting for a young prince! In a flustered motion he gathered himself up and stood. Then, with a graceful motion he began to stride down the pathway made for him by the crowd's separation…
Everyone remained passive and stared at the tiny, confident Ouji-sama. Few individuals had actually seen him. He was kept away to classes and training sessions; sheltered. People looked at him with interest and scrutiny. Some formed an image of cute. Others thought of the word scrawny.
The Prince took a stand beside his father's chair and respectively laid a hand on the armrest. It was tradition to do this; he had learned it from the tortuous classes… With his head held high and small shoulders thrust back, he seemed stable. He knew it would be tough to maintain a sense of dignity while he was only wearing a suit of 'much-too-big' pajamas and no shoes… Especially with his 'dashing, grand entrance… He would have to put forth a great effort…
As one may have speculated, funerals of Saiyajins are quire differentiated from those of the funerals of Earth… Instead of having the deceased person to lie down in a coffin, people were stood upright; back against a huge wooden board. The wooden board was painted with battle scenes of that warriors' life if they were noble men or women. Several braces and ropes held limp limbs and body in a graceful position… And yes, the bodies were prepared so they would look nice during a ceremony… Of course, many times there was no body… then there would just be speeches, commentaries, and the burning of candles…
This formality would be especially important… After all, the deceased one was a respected Queen… It would, quite possibly, last for hours…
Young Bejita remained firm and inane as commentaries and speeches were presented and read aloud. King Vegita rose from his place, and Bejita twisted his head to glance at his expression… Blank. Their bleak expressions mirrored each other…
The little Prince fought back a sudden playful temptation to leap onto the throne, just to make the King angry. But, no… that wouldn't be correct behavior…
The King began a long, detailed speech about the Queen… It told of her life and death… in an impersonal way, of course… The prince didn't pay much attention, needless to say… but his ears did pick up something rather peculiar… The speech depicted her death to be a noble and astounding death on a battlefield. The events of her final moments were not discussed or mentioned. Why not?
The Ouji knew and fully believed that his mother had been a strong and courageous woman, but even he could tell that she had shown incredible weakness at the end. (Though he didn't really mind it…shhh. It's a secret.) It was his fault, somehow. He knew it. It he hadn't provoked her to act weak and he wouldn't have acted weak he was sure her reputation would have been preserved…
Strange.
When a Saiyajin dies, they are branded weak or strong. He wasn't sure why his mother's death was being portrayed as strong, but he was grateful… He would have felt extremely guilty otherwise…
He scanned the huge room for any members of the recovery crew or anyone who had witnessed the final display… After several minutes of searching he found no one. Why were they not present? Bejita's mental note: Ask the King about it.
The toddler grew sleepy and found it hard not to nod off to slumber land as the ritual rambled on into the late hours. Time consolidated into a mix of confusion. All seemed painfully perpetual. He did not notice when the group began to dissemble and file out or the ending song of respect.
Vaguely he felt a rising sensation, as if he was being lifted up… His head came to rest on a muscular shoulder. Kinesthesia relayed the message to him that he was being carried. The child's eyes groggily opened halfway and glimpsed the King. The King, his father, was carrying him…
Strange.
The diminutive body of the Prince was laid to his bed on the 5th hall and tucked in between the silky, navy sheets.
A recalled question made his eyes snap open.
"Wait, your Ma-ge-ty!" he called weakly to the King's retreating form.
"What is it, brat?" he murmured darkly. He turned to face the Prince. There were faint circles under his eyes.
"Dad-dy, I mean Your Ma-ge-ty, why did your speech say that Mom-me, I mean the Keen, err- Qu-een, died a no-ble death in battle?" the toddler asked in a sluggish voice.
"……" The King was silent.
"And why were the doctorses' and big guyz that saw Mom-me die missin'?" he pleaded softly.
:: Smart child. Clever observation… :: "Bejita Ouji…" the King started, "You and I both know that your mother, the Queen died a pitiful death… She was delirious and let her guard down…"
De-wir-wi-us?" Bejita slurred in question.
"Yes, delirious. Confused," he explained. "Anyway, I owe her a favor from years ago… So I covered up the events of her death. She deserved a better memory than that of which she would have received otherwise…"
"What 'bout the 'covery cwew?"
:: Damn, that child is hard to understand when he's sleepy!:: "After I interrogated them of the details and any possible evidence of the events and recorded the information… I… killed them… They were the only witnesses besides you and I… and we must never tell… that way the Queen's reputation will be safe…" he replied. "It's the least I can do for her now…"
"Oh…" the Prince answered. He somewhat understood the 'hard' lecture…
"You mustn't ever speak of your Queen's final moments, Ouji. Do you understand?"
"For ho-nor, I will no-ot," the Prince vowed. "Cross my heart an' hope ta' die, if not stick a needle in my eye…" he whispered.
"Go to bed, Ouji," the King demanded in a harsh and dangerously low tone. He then stalked away; darkly and soundlessly…
Quietly, the tiny Ouji snuggled between the warm sheets of his bed… but he still could not seem to escape the shivers that held a strong force over him…
He didn't yell at me or hit me this time… even though I acted weak when Mom-me died…Weird. He must have a lot on his mind or something…
I'm afraid.
Afraid to go to sleep! He mentally cried.
'Fraidy cat! 'Fraidy cat! Wimp! Weakling! His mean self was making fun of him again…
Shut up! No leave me alone! He inwardly shrieked at his mean tactics.
Damn you, little bastard!
No! Leave me alone, please!
This mental battle went on for a short time until the prince fell into a light, disturbing sleep…
* * * * *
"I Do Not Cry"
I was injured when you left to die,
But something would not let me cry.
I felt pain enough to lie,
But my eyes always remained dry.
My act always managed to get me by,
And I never, not once had to cry.
I could speak a dashing goodbye,
But I could not seem to cry.
I never knew how or why,
Not a single tear left my eye.
Alas, what I did not see,
Was that is slowly shattered me…
When my hurt I strived to hide,
Caused me to bleed on the inside…
Disclaimer: I own nothing, but my opinion, don't sue me.
Well? Is it getting better or worse? Do you like it? Should I continue? You know the rules: Please review, or I shall not continue… I know the story; you do not. I'm writing it for you. You decide whether or not the following events will be posted, and believe me, there's much of the story to be told… This eventually leads up to the abduction by Freezer (if you could call it that…) so you can see that we have a looong way to go… But poco a poco makes it memorable… to me anyway… Read it please, and if you can find it in your heart… review.