What if our favorite Azkaban escapee had trouble getting back in the dating circle after obtaining freedom? People aren't exactly lining up to date him, his old reputation as a man's man is coming back to haunt him, his boss is driving him crazy, and to top it all off he has a fifteen-year-old godson who's dating an eighteen-year-old girl. And like all men, he is asking himself, "What do women want?" He is about to find out.
"Hey Harry," Sirius said glumly, watching Harry carefully. He's my weakness? I can't tell him about today, or at least why Rave got appointed captain. He'll hate himself, then I'll hate myself, and it will snowball into this whole big thing.
"Hard day?" Harry asked.
"No. Not really, just . . . it sucked," Sirius laughed at himself. "Totally sucked."
"Why?" Harry said curiously, Sirius usually didn't use slang around him.
"You know Rave Dixon, right?"
"She hates your guts, right?"
"Understatement, she was made my team's captain, and," Sirius explained. "It's going to be worse the getting a route canal."
"I feel for you, Moony told me about her Auror career, she lives by the phrase, 'no mercy,'" Harry said. "What happened to your arm?"
"Demonstration curse."
"Rave Dixon did it?"
"Right, I hope that this doesn't sound like I'm trying to get rid of you, but could you stay out of the basement tonight, for work reasons?"
"I guess," Harry said. He knew that Sirius used the basement for a gym/ place where he could work on dueling.
"Thanks."
"But, why, though?" Sirius usually let him hang around while he practiced, something was up.
"Because I'm going to be practicing some new curses, and I'm not sure what will happen, and . . ."
"You don't want me to get hurt," Harry finished up for him.
"Exactly, see you later," Sirius headed down to the basement.
*******
5 hours later . . .
"Think like a women, think like a women," Sirius said hitting himself in the head with the booklet. Maybe I should ask Harry if he wants dinner, no he probably ate already. "Okay, I need to concentrate, I need to, I need to change the background music, heavy metal isn't very feminine. What do women listen to?" After a few minutes of pondering. "HARRY!"
"What!?" Harry shouted back.
"What's Hermione's number?"
"855-6754!"
"Thank you!"
"Welcome!"
"855-6754," Sirius said as he dialed the number.
"Hello?"
"Hermione?"
"Yes, who is this?" Hermione asked.
"Sirius, what is your favorite radio station?" Sirius wrote down the station. "And a lot of girls listen to this station, right? Yes? Good! Thanks Hermione, bye!"
Ten minutes later, while listening to Hermione's favorite radio station, Sirius was still getting nowhere.
"Okay, I should try some of the spells, pick a spell, there are ten thousand spells in here,"Sirius felt a strong urge to kick the booklet. "What is the most professional way to handle this?" He closed his eyes, and randomly pointed at a spell in the booklet. Very professional, Black! he thought as he opened his eyes, his finger landed on Cavitious curse. It was a curse that gave its victim an unbearable tooth ache. "Ouch!" Sirius cringed. "How would a women block that curse? Conjure a good dentist? No, with all the drilling, and crap flying around, it would take too long. What time is it? 3:45! I'll do this in the morning." With that Sirius grabbed the booklet, and headed up stairs.
The lights were on in the living room, TV blaring, Harry asleep on the couch. Sirius smiled slightly as he layed a blanket over Harry, he looked so innocent when he was sleeping. Turning the TV, and lights off, Sirius headed to bed.
You have mail! the alarm clock said.
"Oh really," Sirius picked up the three letters. "Early morning meeting canceled, good, I can sleep late. Early morning meeting back on, the orders of Rave Dixon, damn that women! And an S.W.A.K for . . . Harry? Who's he dating? A girl who uses tacky perfume, obviously."
"An eighteen-year-old girl!"
"What?! How do you know that?"
"I over heard them talking through the fireplace, so are you going to read it?"
"Of course I'm not, unlike you I respect his privacy,"Sirius scowled at the letter. I'll give it to Harry in the morning, now I'm going to bed.
"You're not taking a shower, or even washing your face? Look at your arm!"
"If it will keep you quiet, I'll do it," Sirius looked longingly at the bed, before trudging toward the bathroom.
"How can Harry be dating an eighteen-year-old girl? What's the big deal? I dated 18 year old girls when I was fifteen, oh, no," Sirius said, drying his hair, and knocking the soap out of the dish. "This couldn't be any worse, no, wait, it could be, Dixon could be related to me!" Sirius layed the still on hair dyer on the side of the tub. "What do women want? Sensitive feminine strategies, my . . . AHH!" He slipped on the soap, fell backwards into the half full bathtub, and his foot was half a centimeter from knocking the hair dyer in with him. Sirius eyes widened, "Oh God, that is so dangerous." Very carefully he got to his feet, testing his footing, took one foot out of the water and stepped safely on the bathroom floor, and as he was about to take his other foot out of the tub his knee knocked the hair dryer into the water. "NO!" He electrocuted himself, fell face first on the floor, totally blacked out.
***************
Thanks to my reviewers: ~* Shades of the Sea*~, Erin, Lily of Ravenclaw, Erin, Lunamew, Starlett Spellman, Lily Vance, and Sphinx! You guys rule! Chapter 3 may be out later today!
Disclaimer: list of things I don't own- Harry Potter, Sirius Black, or anything related to the Harry Potter series J. K. Rowling does, What Women Want which this story is based on belongs to Paramount, a house, and a life. Things I do own- Rave Dixon, the singing, and talking alarm clock, the hair dryer, and anything you don't recognize. I made Hermione's phone number up, sorry if it's a real number.
And see that little box down there, please write something in it, so I can know if you like my idea!