What if our favorite Azkaban escapee had trouble getting back in the dating circle after obtaining freedom? People aren't exactly lining up to date him, his old reputation as a man's man is coming back to haunt him, his boss is driving him crazy, and to top it all off he has a fifteen-year-old godson who's dating an eighteen-year-old girl. And like all men, he is asking himself, "What do women want?" He is about to find out.

*********

Flashback Ch.3

"If you know what women want, you could rule!"

***********

Chapter 4: The Ladies' Man

Harry Potter had never been more furious in his life. His godfather had to be the world's biggest jerk. Harry was adding up all the stupid things Sirius had done that day, if he had added up all the stupid things he had done that week the list would be of astronomical proportions. Harry groaned inwardly, Carmen will never want to speak to me again, let alone let me take her to the seventh year Christmas ball at the Three Broomsticks, just because oh high, and mighty King of Bad Timing had to see us making out.

Now, going to the seventh year Christmas ball was a big deal because very few people below in sixth year were ever invited to go, and fifth years were almost never. So at the moment Harry was the envy of everyone in fifth year. Of course everyone that was going, (it was by invitation only) needed their parents to sign the permission slips, and present them at the entrance, or they couldn't get in. Sirius will never let me go, he probably just yell again. I could always forge his signature, but Professor McGonagall put that forging charm on this thing so forget that plan. I wonder if I could . . .oh, shit, he's home!

"Harry? " Sirius banged on Harry's door. "Dinner's almost ready, want some?"

Well, time to face the King of Bad Timing, himself. "One minute, sir."

~~~~~~~~~

Sirius looked up from the dinner he was trying to make, in other words it was a far cry from 'almost ready.'

"It helps if you put tenderizer on it," Harry said, even if he was mad at Sirius he didn't want to get sick from eating undercooked steak.

"Really?"

"Believe it or not," Harry said, his voice was dripping with sarcasm.

"Okay, so I can't cook, and since you can, would you care to make dinner, Emeril?"

"How 'bout I teach you?"

"Are you sure I'm not beyond help?" Sirius was slowly working his way back into Harry's good graces.

"Nah."

While dinner was cooking, Harry took out the permission slip, and smoothed it out.

"Whatcha got there?" Sirius asked, while washing his hands.

"Er . . .a permission slip that . . ."

"I have to sign, right?"

"Yeah, it's for a dance that's invitation only, and fifth years hardly ever get invited, and it's like a really big deal, and well, can I go? Please?" Harry gave him that sweet innocent look.

"Maybe, when is it?" Sirius held his hand out to see the slip. Harry reluctantly gave it to him.

~ ~ Permission Slip for Christmas Ball ~ ~

I allow my child _Harry Potter__ to attend the __Seventh-Year Christmas Ball__ on the __23rd of Dec. __, at the __Three Broomsticks, Hogsmeade__.

He will be picked up by ______________.

(Parents' signature) _________________

Please note that Harry being a fifth-year, must present this at the door to be allowed entry.

"All the professors will be there, and so will a few parents, and . . ."

"I guess it's okay, then," Sirius scribbled his signature on the slip.

"You're totally okay with this?" Harry was astonished, was this the same guy he that had caught him making out that afternoon? Talk about doing a one-eighty. He must be stoned.

"Yeah, I was a fifth-year too, once,"Sirius handed back the slip.

"Thanks! You're the best godfather anyone could ask for," Harry grinned as he read Sirius's still glistening signature. "I'll be right back, I just want to put it away."

Sirius laughed to himself when he heard Harry shout "YES!" in the hallway. Harry had the right to a good time, and he was only fifteen right?

~~~~~~~~~

Alia Drama, aspiring actress, and the girl that worked the counter at StarDoe's Coffee Shop looked up as Sirius Black entered the next day, whistling to himself him, and rolled her eyes. Sirius had asked her out almost every single day. She just couldn't get rid of him, but the other day she had really told him off, and now she realized what she really wanted was for him to ask her out again. Here he comes looking awfully good today. And I haven't had sex in four months, okay six. Oh, why did I tell him to stop asking me out? Because I'm an idiot. Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!!!!

Little did Alia Drama know that Sirius Black knew exactly what she was thinking. Not just as a figure of speech, but for real. He had really, and truly heard Alia thinking, Here he comes looking awfully good today. And I haven't had sex in four months, okay six. Oh, why did I tell him to stop asking me out? Because I'm an idiot. Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!!!! Sirius was rather pleased with himself with that thought.

"Hey Sirius, how's it going?" she asked when he reached the counter.

"Alia, my love," he began. "I won't take no for an answer."

"About what?" she asked.

"About what," Sirius chuckled. "About us."

Just don't hurt me, Sirius, I've been hurt too many times.

"I know how it feels, going out with a new person for the first time, there's always that fear of being . . .hurt."

"You're exactly right," Alia smiled.

"How about if we take it nice, and slow, and see how it goes?"

"Slow is good, slow is really good," Alia nodded. "How about if we could get together tonight, maybe?"

"Sure," Sirius smiled also, you are too good, Blackie!

~~~~~~~

Rave Dixon was lost in her work, as usual, when her least favorite person on the face of the Earth walked in. "What's the matter, Black?" Dixie Avery spotted in Little Hangleton.

"Wow, you're here for five minutes, and it looks like you've been here for years," Sirius surveyed the office that should have been his. "Rave, I know we haven't been the best of friends."

Did you ever get that right.

"And since we are on the same team, and team members have to trust each other, so I propose . . ."

Oh, he's proposing so soon?

"That we work together so that we can capture any Death Eaters that comes our way," Sirius gave her his oh so famous trust me look.

"Okay," Rave wondered, what's his game?

"If you're wondering what's my game, there is none, honestly, I just want to help you reel in that big fish, if you permit me who's your whale? The Death Eaters? I heard that Dixie Avery, you know Avery's little sister, was spotted in little Hangleton."

"Yeah, I heard no one knew," Rave raised her eyebrows.

"You knew," Sirius countered.

"I heard no one else knew," Rave lowered her guard. "This is what I heard, Dixie after returning to Voldemort, was told to infiltrate either Diagon Alley, now this girl is hard one to get, she'd be hard for anyone to get, but if we got her . . . she'd be all we'd need. Now no offense, but yesterday you got jumpy talking about the Cavitious curse. Dixie Avery is a hard core Death Eater, and lives by strategies."

"I know that I can do this," Sirius's always scheming brain was already at work.

"Hey, Rave," Dinwiddle walked into Rave's office. "Oh, hi, Sirius. Rave, can you go over these new spells, and tell me what you think of them?"

Rave did a few of the spells, then scowled. Well, I don't like all this flashy magic, it feels a bit like showing off, it should be a bit more subtle.

"Sirius, you have any ideas?" Dinwiddle asked.

"Sir," Sirius stepped forward. "Don't you think some of these spells are a overdone? Most of the magic is rather, flashy."

"Yeah, I was just thinking that," Rave nodded at Sirius.

"And maybe try making the spells effect very subtle, it would catch the Death Eater more off guard."

"Good idea, Sirius, I'll see what the Creators can do," said Dinwiddle.

Good idea, Sirius? C'mon Rave say something. "Er . . .Mr. Dinwiddle," Rave spoke up.

"Yeah, Mr. Dinwiddle, do you want me to check out those spells when the Creators are done with them?" Sirius added, hastily.

"You got it, buddy," Dinwiddle nodded. "Oh, and Sirius, I just got a box of new Maguses in, why don't you stop by later, and we'll talk from what I've heard you might be on to something."

"Cool," Sirius shrugged.

"Great!" Rave chimed in.

"You smoke cigars?" Dinwiddle looked at Rave.

"Ah . . .no," Rave felt herself go red.

As soon as Dinwiddle left, Rave's secretary came in, "Sirius? You got an owl."

"Thanks, Rave do you mind?"

"No problem." Who's it from?

"Harry," Sirius skimmed the letter, than scrawled back a reply.

Really, how old is he anyway?

"He's fifteen, staying with me during Christmas break, has a girlfriend that's eighteen."

"And you hate that?"

"Hate it!" Sirius sent Mercury, (his owl) off with a reply. "But he digs her, and she invited him to the Christmas dance."

"That's nice," Rave batted her eyelashes. Why does this feel like a date? He needs to go.

"Well, I'm off. Go down town, get into women's head," Sirius left the office. "She won't last a month."

~~~~~~~~~~

"Yeah, but her dress robes are lavender, and mine are bottle green," Harry sighed as he looked through a magazine. "And they have that stain on them."

"When did you become a fashion plate?" Ron asked, exasperated.

"Shut up Ron," Ginny said. "You're just jealous that you didn't get invited."

"Dark purple would go well though," Hermione flicked through a fashion magazine. "If I was you I'd ask Sirius."

"Ask Sirius what?" Sirius walked into Harry's less then clean room.

"Nothing," Harry slammed the magazine shut.

"Hello, Sirius!" Hermione waved at Sirius. Your godson needs fashion help! Badly.

"Hi guys," Sirius acknowledged Hermione, and Ron, but didn't recognize Ginny.

"This is Ron's sister, Ginny," Harry explained. Say something, don't just stand there.

Who's he? Ginny thought.

"Hi Ginny, I'm Harry's godfather, Sirius," he smiled

Mr. No Food in the House, thought Ginny. "Hi!"

"So what are you guys doing?" Sirius leaned against the door frame.

"Hangin'."

"Chillin'."

"Talking."

"Stuff."

"Oh, Harry, I have a kind of date tonight, but I'll be home early, and if you want, you, guys, can order a pizza, or something there isn't a scrap of food in the joint, and Harry, do you need robes for this dance thing, cause I have tomorrow off, if you like to go for them?"

"Er . . ." Harry faltered, but Ron, Hermione, and Ginny nodded fiercely. Ginny mouthed, 'yes, he does.' Harry glared at them.

"Harry," Sirius snickered.

"Okay, whatever."

"Whatever as in yes?"

"Yes," Harry allowing himself to smile. "Thanks."

Sirius is sooo sweet, Ginny thought.

I wish my dad would do something like that, Hermione added.

"Well, it has been nice seeing you, all, again, come over anytime you like," Sirius was feeling very pleased with himself.

"We will," Ginny grinned. "Love the house."

"Great location," Ron added.

"Thanks," Sirius said while leaving the friends alone. That was painless, I think.

~~~~~~~~

Later that night . . .

Alia slammed Sirius against a wall, and began kissing him, "I'm not usually like this on a first date it's just that it's been so amazing all night."

"Umm," Sirius was enjoying this.

"You've been so sensitive, and understanding, and do you want come up?" I'm I ready for him to come up? What if he thinks I'm a slut, and never owls me again, or owls me all the time because he thinks he can get whenever he wants? Oh, but he's so incredible, he reminds me of my sister.

"Alia, I'll only come up if you really want me to," Sirius said sympathetically.

"I do!"



(THIS SCENE HAS BEEN EDITED OUT FOR SEXUAL CONTENT, AND BECAUSE IT WAS TOTALLY OUT OF CONTROL! NO ANIMALS WERE HARMED IN THE MAKING OF THIS WARNING. THANK YOU, COREL WORDPERFECT EDITING SERVICES)



"'Mazing! Amazing!" Alia screamed as she climbed back onto the bed. "That . . . was so . . .beyond! Beyond! No one's ever been that inside me!"

"Well, I tried," Sirius gasped.

"No more inside my head, like you knew what I wanted, and how I wanted it, oh, my heart. My heart is beating so hard," Alia panted. Ladies, and gentlemen, Sirius Black is a sex god!

Once again, an extremely smug smile appeared on Sirius Black's face.

~~~~~~~~~~

Special Thanks to my reviewers!

Trinity Day: That's okay, but check out the movie anyway, because it's very funny.

Sandra Solaria Dees: You know what happened to me I rented What Women Want, and I ended up writing this fic as soon as the movie ended.

Tyr's/Harper's tongue friend: Thanks!

Starlett Spellman: Sirius is definitely a man's man.

Padfootsgirl: Thanks for reviewing!

jennylovesnick: Thank you!

The Dreaded Disclaimer- I don't own HP, or What Women Want, Emeril, or Corel WordPerfect but I do own everything else.

In case you're wondering Sirius can't hear what Harry's thinking, but I thought I'd put Harry's thoughts in there just for fun.

Please review, but don't flame because my air conditioner is broken, and won't be fixed till Monday, and it's going to be a long hot weekend. *puppy dog eyes*