Part 2
Jake didn't get much sleep. The first time she awoke it was two thirty. A half hour later, she managed to fall asleep. It didn't last long, however, because at four-thirty, she was up again.
"Greeaaattt," she said eyeing the time on her alarm clock. Deciding not to try and complete the REM cycle, Jake planted her feet on the floor and got up. She searched blindly for a hair tie on her dresser and finding one, used it to put her shoulder length tresses in a ponytail.
She got back under the covers and sat in the dark. Hearing from Hamilton still had her in a bit of a daze. After all, it had been two years since Hamilton left—or rather, Jake left Hamilton.
Since graduating from Stanford University in California four years ago, Jake, Hamilton, and Will moved to New York and lived together in the apartment that she and Will still occupied. Her acting career had really set off, as had Will's writing, but Hamilton was still a struggling photographer. He and Jake fought often over this—his insecurities about her being the "provider" in the relationship made him feel inferior. Especially with Will being so successful, it deepened the blow to Hamilton's ego and pride. Still, they remained a happy couple—on the surface at least. On their eight year anniversary, Hamilton proposed and Jake gladly accepted. An April wedding was set and everything was going smoothly. One day, Jake came home to find a very happy Hamilton.
*Flashback*
"Hi boy," she said, giving him a quick kiss. "Win the lotto or something?"
Hamilton, who was seated on the couch, pulled Jake down next to him and explained his exuberant mood.
"I got a job offer today—from National Geographic!"
Jake was thrilled, she hugged Hamilton tightly. "Honey, that wonderful! When do you start?"
At that moment, his smile faded and he moved away from their embrace. "You see, that's the thing. It starts well, they want me to be in Africa by Thursday."
She stammered, "Wh-when? Thursday? Hamilton, you can't. The wedding is on Saturday!"
"I know that. Do you think I forgot that?" he asked getting a little angry. "But Jake, this is incredible. I mean, they want me on as a full-time photojournalist. This would be a full-time thing, lots of travel, a salary…a real job. The kind of job I've always dreamed of. This is important to me."
"What are you saying Hamilton? That this dream of yours is more important than us? There is a wedding on Saturday—our wedding! You can't do this! Can't they just reassign you or something? We'll get married and instead of Fiji for our honeymoon, I'll go with you wherever you need to go."
Hamilton paced the room. "It's now or never. I've already asked. I'm not going to get a chance like this again. We can get married anytime." He could see tears streaming down her face.
"How can you say that? I've been waiting to marry you for nine years, nine years! Hamilton, we've been waiting for this day for as long as I can remember and now you just want to cancel it?" she screamed at him. The look on her face was one of anger and confusion.
"That's not it. I love you, but I need to do this." He stopped pacing and look at her. She stood a couple of feet away from him, arms crossed. "I've followed you everywhere for the past two years. Don't you think it's my turn? My turn to be followed?"
"Gawd that is not fair!" Jake yelled back at him. She cut the space between them and was now within arms distance. Her eyes were red and her cheeks wet from her tears. "In a relationship there are no 'turns.' You work together. You don't ask the person or expect the person to give up everything so that you—You—can be happy…even if it means the other person won't be."
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying…" Jake choked, she couldn't believe what she was about to say. " I can't ask you to give up your dream. So I guess I'm just going to give up mine. Go to Africa, Hamilton. The wedding's off."
In tears, she stormed out of the apartment leaving Hamilton stunned.
*End flashback*
Jake got out of bed and walked over to the closet. She pulled out a cardboard box, sat Indian-style on the floor, and opened it. Out of it, she took in her hand a small, velvet pouch. She disentangled the bow and emptied the contents into the palm of her hand—the platinum, 2 carat engagement ring Hamilton gave to her the night he proposed.
Jake slipped it onto her left ring finger. For awhile, she just stared at it and soon tears had formed in her eyes. As they fell from her, she failed to wipe them, causing a small puddle of water to form on the floor.
"Why did I ever let him go?" she asked as she gazed the simple, but beautiful ring. The thought of him was too much. In her mind, she always believed that he would choose her. But he didn't. After she ran out of the apartment, he failed to come after her. When she returned home, he was gone. In the days that followed, she lived in a state of denial. Besides Will, Scout, and Bella, no one knew of their demise. Finally, she gained up enough courage to tell everyone that the wedding was off. With Will's help, a call was made to each guest, informing them of the unfortunate news. The press soon got wind of this and made it front page news. It made the cover of magazines, newspapers, and was hot gossip. But Jake was oblivious to it all. Though bombarded by mail and phone calls, she made it through somehow.
When she thought of it now, she realized what it had been that had gotten her through it—Will. He had been able to ease her pain just by being there to listen or by giving her someone to take her anger out on. It was the simple, but thoughtful things he did that got her through that time. And she realized that he could help her get through it now. He was her most trusted friend then and he still was.
She got up and headed across the hall. Opening his door very slowly, she made her way in. She didn't want to wake him, but it was too late. He was already up. Without saying a word, he slid to the other side of the bed, pulling the covers down. Her face was wet with tears, yet she managed a slight smile. Getting in, she faced him, still weeping.
Wanting to alleviate her pain, he looked at her sympathetically, wrapped his arms around her, and pulled Jake towards him, allowing her to rest her head on his chest.
Though he knew that it wouldn't make her stop, Will softly uttered over and over, "It'll be okay."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
"So you're going to New York when?" a woman said into the phone.
"Thursday. I'll probably be at Jake and Will's by…uhh I'd say 8 or 9," Hamilton answered as he folded clothes and placed them into a suitcase.
"You're gonna tell her when you get there?" Bella Banks questioned her friend. It was 2 am in New Rawley and she was tired, but she didn't mind talking to Hamilton. After all, she hadn't spoken to him since New Year's Day. She sat up in bed, her legs warmed by the covers.
Hamilton hadn't responded to her inquiry. He was contemplating whether he should tell Bella what he had planned. Finally he just said, "Yeah. I am. I'm going to tell her."
"Good. It's about time," was the riposte.
"I know."
She yawned involuntarily. Hamilton saw this as his cue to let her get some sleep. "All right. Time to sleep. Sorry for calling you so late."
"It's fine. I mean, its not like I was asleep yet anyways. You know me, sleep late, wake early…strange habit but I can't break it."
He laughed at this. "Ahh Bella. You really need to get out of Rawley."
"What and miss out on all the excitement? They put a new signal light on Jackson Road and everyone came out to see it. We had a big bash at Friendly's afterwards, " she remarked, giggling at the thought. Bella had left New Rawley to go to college in Connecticut, but four years ago, after Grace ran off with some guy, she returned to help Charlie out.
Laughing a little harder now, Hamilton said, "Good night Bell. I'll call you from New York."
"You better! Good luck. Say hi for me."
"Will do. Thanks. Bye."
He put the phone on the hook and went back to getting his things ready for the trip. He turned on the radio and listened intently at the song that was playing. The words jumped out at him.
Did I drive you away?
I know what you'll say,
You say, 'Oh sing one you know,'
But I promise you this,
I'll always look out for you,
That's what I'll do.
I say oh, I say oh.
I saw sparks.
My heart is yours,
It's you that I hold on to,
That's what I do,
And I know I was wrong,
But I won't let you down
Yeah I saw sparks
Yeah I saw sparks
And I saw sparks,
Yeah I saw sparks.
"Ironic," he muttered. He stopped what he was doing and walked over to the mirror behind his door. He looked at himself. He had aged—on the inside at least. His hair was short, growing back from his "buzzed" look. His eyes were still the same old blue. At least that hadn't changed. And neither had something else.
"You have to Hamilton. You have to tell her. You have to tell her you're still in love with her."