Part 7
Tearing in my heart when the world falls apart
And it's almost too hard
Tearing in my mind, how the pain makes you blind
When it's all said and done
Tearing in my heart, a mistake from the start
And it's almost too hard
Tarry in my mind, I'll repay you another time
When it's all said and done
Tearing in your bones, when the road left you alone
And it's almost too hard
Tarry in my soul and you help make me whole
When it's all said and done
Tearing in my heart when the world falls apart
And it's almost too hard
Tarry in my soul and you help make me whole
When it's all said and done
Hamilton couldn't sleep. No matter how hard he tried, every time he shut his eyes, all he could see was her. Jake... she was so close that it was almost like he could feel her presence and all the memories that he had of the two of them came flooding back. He lay in bed, staring at the wall, her name repeating subconsciously. It was only one thirty and he hadn't planned on going to see her just yet, but he couldn't take it anymore. He had to see her. Now.
He got up, picked up his coat, and walked out the door towards the elevator. He stood quietly during the ride down the 5 stories, thinking about what he was about to do.
He pushed through the swarms of people walking the streets. The walk was only seven minutes, but it seemed much longer than that. Moving the revolving doors of the building was almost surreal for he recalled how he propelled through those same doors everyday for four years. The elevator had just opened its hatch and let people out when Hamilton arrived. He stepped inside and was the lone rider of the lift. The elevator music was surprisingly fresh for once and it was a song Hamilton knew well. It was one of Jake's favorites. He smiled and hummed along with it, helping him to stay relaxed.
I see your shadow on the street now
I hear you push through the rusty gate
Click of your heels on the concrete
Waiting for a knock coming way too late
It seems an age since I've seen you
Countdown as the weeks trickle into days
The trip to the eighth floor was quick and as Hamilton proceeded to the apartment, his heart beat a little faster and he gasped for air. "Calm down Fleming," he said. He reached the door, staring at it for a moment as if uncertain what to do next. He reached into the left pocket of his pants and felt for something—a key. He had taken it with him when he left New York and kept it after all this time, hoping that one day he would use it again. Now, here he was about to do just that. After a few seconds of rummaging, he lugged it out and inserted it into the key hole, turned it, and unlocked the door. "Here it goes," Hamilton said softly as he turned the knob.
When he entered the apartment, the same music that played in the elevator now rang throughout the flat. He thought it a strange coincidence and smiled as he looked around at his old home. It was just the same as when he left it, furniture still in place, the same pictures hanging from the walls. "De ja vu," he declared as he recalled the similarity the moment had to his dream on the plane. And then he saw her.
So you come in and put you bags down
I know there's something in the air
How can I do this to you right now
If you're over there when I need you here
My happiness is slowly creeping back
Now you're at home
If it ever starts sinking in
It must be when you pack up and go
He could see her in the kitchen, hear her singing along loudly to the song. She swayed her hips side to side as she moved with the music. Her back was turned to him as she was obviously unaware the he was present. Hamilton was completely mesmerized. There she was—in the flesh, a few yards away. Two years of loneliness and sadness were swept away by just seeing her and hearing her voice. Hamilton grinned as he traveled in her direction.
It seems an age since I've seen you
Countdown as the weeks trickle into days
I hope that time hasn't changed you
All I really want is for you to stay
Hamilton was in a sort of daze, which caused him to disregard the plant that was situated directly in his path. He accidentally kicked it, knocking it over, and grabbing Jake's attention.
Without turning she yelled, "Will! Please do not tell me you're drunk again!" Finally, she turned around and her face was one of complete shock.
"Hi boy," he greeted her. He turned down the volume of the stereo and continued to her.
"Hi boy." She was still stunned by his sudden appearance. She did nothing and stayed in her place, but her eyes burned into his gorgeous blues. "H-how did you get in?"
"This," he said holding up the key. "I'm sorry. I should've called first. I just…I couldn't wait to see you. I wanted to surprise you."
"That you did." Though she had imagined what seeing him after all this time would be like, she never envisioned that it would have been like this. She didn't want to show it, but she was insanely happy. His smile made her heart flutter and the sight of his unbelievably handsome face was enough to make her feel faint.
It was the same for him. Though her hair had grown since he last saw her, she was still as he remembered. She was still the most beautiful girl in the world and he wanted to let her know that.
"You look…you're beautiful."
Jake blushed and answered with her trademark wit, "I try." They smiled and she continued, "You know…you look…the same. Just as I remember."
Without realizing it, they had moved closer to each other during their short exchange of words. Now, there was less than a foot between them. Jake could feel his energy radiating towards her and she was drawn in by it. Their hands brushed against one another and Jake felt a tingling feeling run through her body. After all this time, he was still able to do that to her. She felt butterflies in the pit of her stomach as she gazed into his eyes. He stared back with the same intensity.
Finally, Hamilton spoke. "I, I…I missed you."
"Yeah, well I have that effect on people," Jake answered mockingly. She desired to say the same to him, yet she couldn't bring herself to do it. "Be strong Jacqueline. Do not let him do this to you again," thought Jake as she took a step away from Hamilton. "You can do this."
Her response was not quite the one Hamilton hoped to receive, but he accepted it, knowing how difficult it was for Jake to see him after all this time—because it was hard for him too. He wanted to take her into his arms and kiss her, however, he knew Jake and realized that it would take awhile for all of this to sink in.
It remained silent for a while, but it was not an uncomfortable one. Though Jake tried hard, she could not release her gaze from him. She was taking him in, like taking a picture, trying to capture every detail. "He is the same—on the exterior at least. Thank God for that," she smiled at the thought.
He noticed her change in expression and responded by pursing his lips together, forming his trademark, sideways smile.
Just then, the sound of the door opening caused the moment to end. "Jake you gotta read this review! They said that your performance was 'the stuff Oscar's were made for,' " Will shouted as he came through the door. His face was buried in the paper, making him ignorant to the fact that Jake was not alone.
"Hi Will." At the sound of Hamilton's voice, Will's eyes focused upwards.
"Ham!" he exclaimed, trying his best to sound excited. "When did you get in?"
"A little while ago. I was going to stop by later but I uhh…" he said twisting his head around to look at Jake. "I decided I couldn't wait."
Will saw the exchanged glance between the two of them and struggled to appear indifferent. In an effort to divert his attention from her, Will sprung forward to give Hamilton a hug. "It's good to see you."
"You too. It's great being back. I forgot how much I missed this place."
"Are you sure you don't mean Jake?" Will asked himself. "Why don't we all go out for a late lunch?" Will offered. Hamilton nodded in agreement.
Jake, willing to do anything but be left alone with Hamilton, added, "I'll call Scout." She headed back into the kitchen leaving Will and Hamilton standing in the living room.
When she was out of earshot, Will asked, "So what are you doing back here Ham? On assignment?" He wanted to know the reason—he needed to know the reason.
"No actually. I'm here to see you guys. Can't I visit the friends I haven't seen in two years?"
"Yeah," Will answered unconvinced. "But what you really mean is you came to see Jake."
"Hmm…well that too."
"Ham, I'm glad to see you and everything, but…think about what you being here is going to do to her. It's taken her a long time to get over… you know what I mean. Jake—she's strong. But there's only so much one person can take."
"I know. I swear…I won't her hurt. Not again. Not ever."
"I hope you're right."
From behind Hamilton, Will could see Jake approaching. "Scout's gonna meet us at Tamarind in fifteen minutes. You fine with Indian?" she questioned Hamilton. It was an unnecessary query, for Jake knew quite well that Hamilton loved Indian cuisine.
" Perfect. Let's go."