Imhotep's Lament
by Miss Becky
Disclaimer: Naturally he's not mine.
Summary: Imhotep has a complaint.
Rating: PG
********
Well.
Can you hear me? All of you? You in the back row?
It was good of you to come. It's very important that you all be here today for this special announcement.
Most of you have been diligent about continuing the adventures of my companions, but very few of you have been writing about me. I'm here today to fix this glaring error on your part.
Have you people forgotten the name of this genre?
Do you not realize who I am?!
I am the mummy! Me, Imhotep! Where are the stories about me?
Do any of you know what it's like? We all gather together and stand before you as you choose whom you will write about. Those cursed O'Connells don't even sit down -- they know they will always be chosen. Most of you take the Med-jai, and that wastrel Carnahan. Some of you choose the kid, and some of you even take kids who aren't even there!
But does anybody pick me?
Does anybody write about me?
Well, I'm here to tell you, that's all about to change. Have you forgotten my powers? Have you forgotten what I am capable of?
Hey!
Come back here! Where do you people think you're going?
....
Ah, that's better. So you're all afraid of scarabs, are you? That's good. You should be. Maybe now you'll stay in your seats and listen to me.
I can be reasonable, you know. I understand that stories need characters and plots need to be interesting. I don't mind you choosing other characters besides me. Although it would be nice if some of you would write about Anck-su-namun -- preferably a story where I can get my revenge on that cowardly woman!
Oh. Sorry. What was I saying?
Anyway, all I'm asking is that you remember me. Imhotep. The mummy. I'm the reason you're all here in the first place.
Somebody. Please. Write about me.
Hey! Where are you all going? You can't leave! Dammit! Why aren't my scarabs stopping you?
Come back here!
....
sighs Alone again. What a surprise.
Hm....I wonder if they even speak Ancient Egyptian. Maybe I ought to try this again.
Um, people?
*********
END
Okay, okay. So it's a little irreverent. I couldn't help it. :-)
by Miss Becky
Disclaimer: Naturally he's not mine.
Summary: Imhotep has a complaint.
Rating: PG
********
Well.
Can you hear me? All of you? You in the back row?
It was good of you to come. It's very important that you all be here today for this special announcement.
Most of you have been diligent about continuing the adventures of my companions, but very few of you have been writing about me. I'm here today to fix this glaring error on your part.
Have you people forgotten the name of this genre?
Do you not realize who I am?!
I am the mummy! Me, Imhotep! Where are the stories about me?
Do any of you know what it's like? We all gather together and stand before you as you choose whom you will write about. Those cursed O'Connells don't even sit down -- they know they will always be chosen. Most of you take the Med-jai, and that wastrel Carnahan. Some of you choose the kid, and some of you even take kids who aren't even there!
But does anybody pick me?
Does anybody write about me?
Well, I'm here to tell you, that's all about to change. Have you forgotten my powers? Have you forgotten what I am capable of?
Hey!
Come back here! Where do you people think you're going?
....
Ah, that's better. So you're all afraid of scarabs, are you? That's good. You should be. Maybe now you'll stay in your seats and listen to me.
I can be reasonable, you know. I understand that stories need characters and plots need to be interesting. I don't mind you choosing other characters besides me. Although it would be nice if some of you would write about Anck-su-namun -- preferably a story where I can get my revenge on that cowardly woman!
Oh. Sorry. What was I saying?
Anyway, all I'm asking is that you remember me. Imhotep. The mummy. I'm the reason you're all here in the first place.
Somebody. Please. Write about me.
Hey! Where are you all going? You can't leave! Dammit! Why aren't my scarabs stopping you?
Come back here!
....
sighs Alone again. What a surprise.
Hm....I wonder if they even speak Ancient Egyptian. Maybe I ought to try this again.
Um, people?
*********
END
Okay, okay. So it's a little irreverent. I couldn't help it. :-)