I was reading the third book for the five hundredth time, when I realized that there is no Ravenclaw ghost. This isn't one of my best fics, but this idea wouldn't leave me.
Disclaimer: The great and powerful J.K Rowling owns everything, and I own nothing.
Rant of a Ravenclaw Ghost
Well here I am, the Ravenclaw Ghost, sitting alone in my chamber, forgotten by the world. You would think I don't even exist by the way people treat me. Even the people in my own house don't know who I am. Nobody ever mentions me, nope, it's all Nearly Headless Nick or the Bloody Baron. I mean they're not so special. Even Moaning Myrtle gets more attention than me (I say fifty points if you can get this rant through her nose.)
Everybody thinks that the Gryffindor ghost is so brave, the Slytherin ghost is so scary, the Hufflepuff ghost is soooo nice and caring- WELL WHAT ABOUT THE GHOST THAT IS SO SMART, HUH? Ahem! *clears her throat and continues more calmly* I have not been wiped from existence. I'm still here. I may be little more than a shadow, but I'm still here. I am an intelligent, kind, and important ghost and if everyone thinks that they can just treat me like yesterdays pumpkin juice, then they are wrong. I will not take this rejection any longer! I should be given glory and praise, but instead a certain person neglected to mention me in a certain series of books *glares at J.K Rowling.* Ok, Ok, I know that Ravenclaw isn't a particularly interesting house but neither is Hufflepuff and that ghost is mentioned.
All I'm asking for is respect, and maybe a cameo in the upcoming movie, but that's beside the point. I AM SICK OF BEING IGNORED!! I AM A LOT MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVERY OTHER GHOST IN THIS STUPID CASTLE!! In fact I'm so upset that I think I'm going to tell all those other ghosts what I think of them.
*glides huffily into the great hall and proceeds to yell at the top of her lungs* " I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT TO MAKE! NEARLY HEADLESS NICK IS A LOSER THAT WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO JOIN THE HEADLESS HUNT BECAUSE HE IS TOO INCREDIBLY STUPID! THE BLOODY BARON IS NOT COVERED IN BLOOD LIKE HE PRETENDS, IT IS ACTUALLY COOL AID. HE STILL SLEEPS WITH A STUFFED FLOBBERWORM AND HAS MATCHING PAJAMAS. THE FAT FRIAR LOOKS LIKE DUDLEY DURSLEY AND HAS PORN MAGAZINES UNDERNEATH HIS MATTRESS! PEEVES IS SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH GILDEROY LOCKHART. HE SOMETIMES TRIES TO COMPOSE OPERAS AND SINGS LOUDLY IN THE SHOWER! HE IS ALSO DEATHLY AFRAID OF THE DARK!! There I feel better now!"
*Looks around expecting see shocked faces and the four ghost in tears, but all that meets her eyes is a great hall sounding of chatter, laughter, and the clatter of forks and knives*
"Hello? Did anyone hear what I just said?" *no answer*
"HELLO!!!" *No one takes notice of her*
Oh why did I even bother. You see, nobody notices me. I think I'll go join Myrtle in her toilet, and drown in self pity.
That was pretty bad, but oh well. Just so you know I don't really think any of the things said in this rant; it's the Ravenclaw ghost talking, not me. Please r/r! Thanks!
-Snidget