The
Shinkansen-Nozomi line sped away from the Tokyo station like an effortless
behemoth. Housed within were a
disgruntled blonde, a desperately giddy brunette and a highly amused
silver-haired prince. Due to certain
circumstances, the trip to Osaka International Airport, normally a two-hour
jaunt, would turn out to be three. It was
going to be a long, bumpy ride.
~
Hour One ~
"And
then?"
"And
then a twenty-minute bus ride to the terminal."
"And
then?"
"Our
flight leaves at 10:30. Plenty of time
to check in when we get there."
"And
then?"
"I
think it's an hour to Okinawa."
"Oh." Ryan subsided for the meantime, sitting back
in his seat to ponder the information.
Mitsuru
heaved an almost audible sigh of relief at the respite, made sure Ryan wasn't
looking at him, then turned around quickly to gaze at his roommate in
supplication. Shinobu, in the seat
behind him, lifted his eyebrows questioningly, although a glimmer of mischief
belied his pretended ignorance. Mitsuru
made a moue of impatience then jerked his head in Ryan's direction, rolling his
eyes heavenward. Shinobu eyes crinkled
with suppressed mirth but shook his head in negation. Mitsuru wrinkled his nose disgustedly, glaring daggers at his
roommate. In turn, Shinobu shut his
eyes and laid his head on his seat's backrest, effectively shutting out the
blonde's plea. The wadded-up train
schedule that bounced off his silvery head also went unnoticed.
"You
are so enjoying this!" Mitsuru snarled irritably at his best friend and was
about to lob another projectile at him when Ryan started up again.
"So
then what?"
Mitsuru
grunted exasperatedly but turned back to the boy. "From the airport, we'll catch the shuttle and head for Naha and
the beach house."
"And
then?"
"And
then we sleep!" Mitsuru forced himself not to yell but couldn't quite keep the
last word from rising up an octave. Ryan looked at him quizzically but was undeterred.
"Yeah. I know that. I meant after. What
then? How far is the place from the
beach? Is the surf any good? What about the babes? Huh, Mitsu? Mitsuru?"
"Hey,
Ryan. I have an idea. Why don't you go track down that bento
seller and get us some snacks?" Mitsuru
grasped at straws, anything to stem the incessant chatter that had plagued him
since the journey began.
"Oh. Really? You're hungry? But didn't we
just have dinner…?"
"Go!" In an unconscious echo of his roommate,
Mitsuru pointed to the exit with an imperious finger then turned his back on
the boy in obvious dismissal.
The
blonde held his breath until he was sure of Ryan's departure then slumped
melodramatically against his seat, wearily resting his forehead in his
hands. He looked up only when he heard
what sounded like choking coming from behind him.
"Don't
start."
Snort.
"I
don't want to hear it."
Chuckle.
"Will
you knock it off!"
The
belly laugh that followed was so unlike Shinobu that, had he been in a better
frame of mind, Mitsuru would have added it to his private tally of how many
times he'd seen his friend lose composure. As it was, the blonde ignored the guffaws and searched instead for
something large and preferably pointy to heave at his unsympathetic tormentor.
"Oh,
but this is too perfect, Ikeda! `Let's
take a trip', you said. `Let's show him
the sights', you said. `Anything to
take his mind off his illness', you said. Well, you want to know what I say? You made your bed…" Shinobu
interrupted his own speech with another hearty chortle of glee.
Mitsuru
turned his back to his roommate and folded his arms across his chest,
sulking. Shinobu was right. Again. This entire excursion had been his inspired idea to help Ryan forget –
at least for a while – the news that had been given him. But he hadn't been able to help
himself. That day of the stake out,
when Ryan had woodenly shared the report with the two over beer and sushi,
Mitsuru had felt his heart clench in rabid sympathy and incredulity.
He'd
only known Ryan for less than a month, but in that time, the boy had managed to
wangle his way into his exclusive club, of which previously, Shinobu had been
the only member. It had been part
fascination and part novelty that had drawn Mitsuru to Ryan in the first
place. But as they'd spent more time
together, his eerie resemblance to Shinobu, both in mannerisms and thought, had
made the blonde warm to him even more.
So
when Ryan had revealed what the doctors had told him that day, Mitsuru felt
like he'd been punched in the gut; that it was happening to Shinobu and not
Ryan. And, in a spontaneous fit of stupidity, he'd opened his mouth and said:
"Road
trip."
"What?"
"Yeah,
road trip. We should all go."
"Mitsuru,
are you insane?" Shinobu eyed his roommate as if he'd grown a third eye. Mitsuru was normally not this
insensitive. How could he even suggest
something so ludicrous? If what Ryan
had said was true, he was in no condition to travel.
"No. I think it would be fun. Just the thing to clear our heads and get
away from everything. Plus, we've been
in the city too long. Summer's almost
over and all we've done is stuff we could have done during the school year. That's stupid. We should live it up at least once this break!" Mitsuru was stubborn and his enthusiasm was
catching.
"Well,
shit. Since you put it that way…why the
hell not?" Ryan's eyes gleamed
maniacally over his beer bottle and any protest Shinobu was about to raise died
on his lips. The look on Ryan's face
reminded him of the journal entries, the fear masked as truculence, the
doctors' report. Shinobu was not about
to deny the boy anything now. Worrying
about tomorrow was useless because, for one of them, tomorrow might never come.
~
Hour Two ~
"You
are looking entirely too pleased with yourself."
"Oh,
are you done sulking now?"
"I
wasn't sulking!"
"Mitsuru,
you haven't spoken in twenty minutes."
"So?"
"Just
an observation, I suppose." Shinobu
indolently maintained his reclining position on the train seat. Traveling by bullet train was almost
decadent, especially when one had the funds to procure a private coach.
"I think you're trying to change the subject."
"Aren't you worried about Ryan? He's been gone entirely too long."
"You are changing the subject! But I'm wise to you; you can't fool me. What do you have planned in that twisted little mind of yours?" Mitsuru pounced, knees on the seat and elbows akimbo on the backrest. He glared at his roommate suspiciously.
"Are you done sulking?"
"Are you gonna tell me?"
"Are you done sulking?" Shinobu repeated evenly, expectation implicit in his tone.
Mitsuru sighed resignedly. "Fine. I was sulking. Now I'm done. I'm sorry. Now will you tell me?"
"Perhaps."
"Shi-no-bu!" The blonde wailed, aggrieved that his apology had been for naught.
"You'll see when we get to Okinawa. It's not a secret so much as it is a surprise."
Mitsuru's transformation was hilarious. As Shinobu watched, amused, the blonde's expression changed from outraged scowl to eager grin in a matter of seconds. It was entirely too easy to make the boy happy. And this was but one of the reasons why Shinobu loved him.
Suddenly, without fair warning, Mitsuru leaped over the train seat and unceremoniously plopped down on his roommate's outstretched legs. Shinobu noted the warmth and weight on his shins and the abruptly staccato beating of his heart against his rib cage. He winced inwardly.
So his feelings hadn't been a fluke; he was in love with his best friend. At least, according to his manga, that was what this feeling indicated. The rush of blood to his temples at the merest touch from Mitsuru. The yammering in his heart at a hint of a smile from Mitsuru. The hardening of his…
"A surprise? For me?"
Shinobu tried to focus on what his friend was saying but was finding it difficult to breathe with Mitsuru being in such close proximity. He also seemed to have lost all ability to move. The blonde was staring at him with wide, guileless eyes and he felt himself being slowly sucked into a vortex of warm violet.
This was it! Shinobu was giving him that look again! It was the perfect time to pry open that can of worms and see what came wriggling out. Mitsuru experienced a spasm of nervous excitement in his belly. It was now or never. He opened his mouth to begin.
"Hey, guys! Guess what? There's this cool chick in the car next to us and she says she's gonna be at the same inn we're staying at? How cool is that?" Ryan came barreling into the coach then stopped abruptly at the sight before him.
"Uh, guys? Am I interrupting something?"
Gah! Ryan had the worst timing in the world! And his metamorphosis from impassive loner into tsunami of energy was grating, to say the least. If Shinobu hadn't recognized the desperation lurking behind Ryan's frenzied activity, he would have snapped. He had really wanted to know what Mitsuru had been about to say. Now it was his turn to be disgruntled.
Mitsuru, on the other hand, knew a saved-by-the-bell moment when he saw it and he seized it with relief. Maybe he wasn't as ready – or as brave – as he thought he'd been.
"No, not interrupting. Shin and I were just discussing his need to firm up his abs and I was showing him the proper method of exercising." The blonde blithely lied through his teeth while surreptitiously squeezing his roommate's leg as a plea for support. Shinobu, still breathless with unspoken need and a desire to throttle Ryan, nodded his acquiescence. He would get back at Mitsuru for that crack about his stomach later.
"Oh." Ryan looked at the couple, unconvinced, but he was still wary of Shinobu and the uneasy truce they'd forged so he knew better than to push his luck. So he shrugged his shoulders after a second and held up hands that clutched at paper sacks. "Bento, anyone?"
~ Hour Three ~
For all that the Shinkansen line was the fastest, most efficient way to get around Japan, Shinobu still missed the clacking of steel wheels against rails that a regular train produced. It was too quiet in the coach. Ryan had finally dozed off, plugged into his earphones once again. Mitsuru was groggily following suit. Even the scenery that whizzed past seemed to heave a collective sigh of slumber as everything shut down for the night.
But Shinobu was wide awake. Wisps of conversations and unspoken declarations trammeled his mind and refused to give him surcease from their troubling implications.
The sun worsens his condition…Stay in the shade as much as possible…What's wrong? How is he?….I don't know where my dad is right now…Why do you care?…We're best friends…Make sure he takes his medication…I love him…What do you want me to do?…Does he even ask about me?…I'm sorry…I'll help…This is against our better judgment…I'm an emancipated minor…I'll be there as soon as I can…Is it bad?…What if it was you?…I can't lose you…I love him…
It was happening too fast. Hadn't they just ended the term three weeks ago? Summer was almost over and so much had happened. So many secrets; so many misunderstandings. Why was he doing this? Why was he so concerned? Was this all because of some misdirected sense of guilt? Shinobu found himself staring at Ryan's slumbering form as myriad emotions ran rampant within him.
"It's hard to tell he's sick, ne?"
Shinobu was snatched out of his reverie by the whispered question.
"The doctors say they've done all they can. He's got a unique strain of lupus and they haven't been able to diagnose an effective cure."
Shinobu was contemplative, his tone indicating that he was still mulling things out in his head. Mitsuru remained silent, waiting for the rest.
"Their experimental drugs seemed to work the first time, when he collapsed. But as fast as they took effect, that's how fast he develops an immunity to them."
"Doesn't it all seem so sudden?"
"They've been observing him for months, Mitsuru. They were working on his case even before he came to Japan. And he's been in and out of the hospital since he arrived. He just didn't tell you. Didn't you think it was odd that he only met you during the late afternoons?"
Mitsuru grunted noncommittally and watched his roommate for several seconds. Shinobu's face was solemn, his attention still focused on the object of their conversation. The blonde sat up abruptly, all fogginess from sleep dissolved.
"You're worried, aren't you?"
"Hai."
"That's a switch, isn't it? I mean, one minute you're at each other's throats and the next minute, you're talking to his doctors and making travel arrangements. Why are you doing this, Shin? What aren't you telling me?"
Ah, the crux of his dilemma! Shinobu met his best friend's gaze then looked away, eyes trained sightlessly out the window. How could he tell Mitsuru what he'd read in the journal? That the reason Ryan had been so drawn to the blonde was his more than passing resemblance to Moon? That Ryan was more than likely trying to atone for his treatment of his best friend by befriending Mitsuru?
The best case scenario could have Mitsuru acting weird and awkward, alternately trying to fill Moon's shoes for Ryan's benefit then resenting such an action and asserting his own identity. Worst case? Mitsuru could take everything the wrong way and despise Ryan for what he'd done. Shinobu wasn't close enough to Ryan to have been able to defend the boy's decisions. And heaven forfend that he ask Ryan to defend himself. The boy didn't even know to what extent his privacy had been violated.
"Shinobu?"
"We're almost there, Mitsuru. Let's wake Ryan up and get everything organized, ne?"
He was being unforthcoming again. First his little surprise and now this. Not to mention the unresolved issues concerning their relationship. Mitsuru was getting a little tired of being kept in the dark. He was about to pull some serious mule-headed attitude and demand answers when he felt the train slow smoothly in preparation for its arrival at the station.
The luck of the gods…
Mitsuru clamped his jaw shut and angrily poked at Ryan to wake.
~
The trip to Okinawa was uneventful. It was late, and the middle of the week, so the plane was at half capacity. Ryan was still tired and was in and out of consciousness. Mitsuru clung to his peevishness and pointedly ignored his roommate by reading a random magazine he'd found poking out of the seat pocket in front of him. Shinobu didn't mind the cold shoulder he'd been given; he really didn't want to talk until he'd reconciled all the conflicting emotions in his own head.
However, as the hour drew to a close and the plane decreased its altitude, Shinobu found himself growing increasingly agitated. Had he done the right thing? What would Ryan say? What about Mitsuru? He was holding all the cards and it looked like a royal flush; so why was he so anxious? Shinobu hated feeling impotent but was unable to still the nattering twin demons of indecision and insecurity in his mind.
The last leg of their journey was spent in relative silence. The shuttle that met them was as empty as the plane had been. Shinobu drummed his fingertips against the armrest nervously. Aside from this affectation, he was able to compose himself to such a degree that Ryan, now wide awake and peering out the window, noticed nothing out of the ordinary. Mitsuru, though, was more attuned to him and kept watch.
Is he gonna have a seizure? Great! Now there'll be two of them I have to take care of! Well, I'm not doing it. No way! The blonde thought spitefully to himself.
"Oh my god! Finally! We're here!" Ryan broke the quiet with his pronouncement. Neither of the other boys wanted to reminded him that the trip would have been shorter had they been allowed to travel the quicker route that his illness had prevented them from using.
All three stepped off the shuttle and were instantly met by the salty smell of waves luffing against the shore. It was now midnight and no one was making use of the resort umbrellas suck forlornly in the sand. But the sight of them was a promise of the indolence and sloth to come. That was tomorrow, though. Now, the boys merely hefted bags on weary shoulders and followed the path that led up to the rental. Ryan was in luck; they were right on the beach.
Shinobu walked so slowly that he was several meters behind Mitsuru before the blonde noticed his absence. Mitsuru hurried back and was about to pull Shinobu onward, all the while resolved to maintain his silence when the boy dropped his bag and grabbed his arm.
"What is wrong with you?" Mitsuru hissed, finally giving up all attempt at ignoring his roommate in his irritation.
"The surprise."
"What?"
"I hope it made it."
"What?"
"Just wait here a moment."
"Why?" Mitsuru was at the end of his rope.
"You'll see."
Ryan had made it to the stoop of the beach house and paused uncertainly when the porch light blazed fluorescent at his approach.
"Shinobu, what have you done?"
"Shhhh! Here it comes!"
Ryan had dismissed the conveniently lit bulb as a marvel of Japanese efficiency and had turned to face the other two. "Hey, guys! What are you waiting for?"
The door opened behind the unsuspecting boy and Shinobu, who had been watching the entrance with the fierceness of a hawk, clutched at Mitsuru's arm. Mitsuru glanced at his roommate, followed his gaze and peered at the door as well.
"Let's go, guys. I'm beat. All I wanna do right now is go to bed."
"That can be arranged."
Ryan whirled around in shock at the sound of the familiar voice.
"Moon?!"