*En route back to Michigan in the Lesbian Falcon*
" Aye, Macarena!" sang Drunken Fool. " All the homies in the joint now!"
" Will someone shut her up?" the Duchess of Gayness demanded. But as usual, no one paid attention to the henious bitch.
" It's all-right that the United States Senate didn't believe you, Flutternut," said Han Homo, turning from the road to comfort his friend. Chrisbacca growled in agreement. " I'm sure everything will go the way you want it when we fight for the independence of Michigan. I'm sure everyone will believe you then."
As both of the drivers' attention was elsewhere, they ran over yet another unsuspecting pedestrian.
" Bloody hell!" shouted the Duchess of Gayness. " Are you trying to be in the Guinness World Book of Records."
" Alec Guiness!" Flutternut shouted. " That is who we need!"
" Sorry, dumbass, but the dude is dead," the Duchess of Gayness said, crushing her friends dreams and hopes for the future of mankind.
" Anyways, let's just check out the person we just ran over," Han Homo said, cutting into the hostile moment. " Let's hope it isn't another Drunken Fool."
" Chickas to the front!" Drunken Fool sang, stimulated once again into singing old, stupid songs by the sound of her name. " Ha, ha, ha, ha! Go around, around, around!"
" That's not how it goes!" shouted the Duchess of Gayness.
Of course, by now I think you all know that no one paid attention to her. Instead, they exited the Lesbian Falcon to check out the person they ran over.
It was yet another female (jesus, why can't they ever be guys?), who was pretty but not as sexy as Flutternut (will never happen). Han Homo and Chrisbacca helped the unconcious woman to her feet.
" Flutternut?" she said unsurely.
" Flutternut!" exclaimed Flutternut. "That's me!"
The woman looked disoriented among the world weary travelers (wtf!), her eyes finally resting on Flutternut's petite form. " Boris Yeltzin has sent me," she explained. " The Senate is not what I believe in anymore. Help me, Flutternut. You're my only hope."
With those last words, she drifted back into oblivion. Flutternut and her friends, now joined by the Duchess of Gayness, glanced in amazement at one another.
" Wow!" Han Homo said excitedly. " Boris Yeltzin! You're really hitting the big time now!"
" Hit me with your best shot!" everyone could hear Drunken Fool sing from the Lesbian Falcon. They cringed at the awful Pat Benatar song. " Fire away-ay-ay-ay-ay."
" Sounds like a damn broken record," the Duchess of Gayness muttered to herself.
" What should we do with this chick?" Han Homo asked.
" Throw her in the back with Drunken Fool," said Flutternut. " We have to get to Michigan and begin our crusade."
*MEANWHILE ON THE MOON . . . . *
Luke Skywalker sat in the shadows of Earth, waiting gleefully until his skilled Seagull Commando appeared from the horizon, wearing his custom made seagulls spacesuit so he wouldn't die (because unlike Skywalker and Flutternut, he wasn't a hot damn Jedi). The Seagulls Commando perched himself on Luke Skywalker's shoulder, cooing his daily report (okay, I don't think seagulls coo but that really has no revelence in the story anyways, so upward and onward). His stocks on hair spray went down (damn it), the latest news from Soap Opera digest (yes, finally Barbara and John screw after all this time), and the news of the young Jedi from Earth who could potentially ruin their whole damn Skywalker/Seagull order. But little did Flutternut know, there was a traitor among her group. As long as the informant was kept a secret, Flutternut and her little regime was going done . . . ooh, sweet, sweet victory was all Skywalkers . . . bwah, ha, ha, ha. Bwah, ha, ha.****
**MEANWHILE ON EARTH***
Once they arrived back in the home state of Michigan, in their quiet peaceful little town where all of this had started, the near roadkill woman began to rouse. Chrisbacca and Han Homo left to round up warriors for their 'Michigan Militia'. The Duchess of Gayness was sleeping, and Drunken Fool was counting her fingers, somehow transfigured by the fact there were ten of them.
Flutternut saw this as her opportunity to talk to the wordly stranger. " Who are you?" she asked.
" I am Princess Henious Bitch Part 1," she explained. " I am an old friend of Boris Yeltzin, the informant who told me the Senate's corruption and Skywalkers and the seagulls collaboration to take over the world." She paused. " I have an army who is willing to join in your fight for the independence of Michigan if that is what it is necessary for Skywalker to be stopped."
" Thank-you," said Flutternut. " You do not know how much this means to us."
Princess Henious Bitch Part 1 smiled, "Yes I do, you mental defroid. Oh, I'm feeling quite better."
" I can tell," Flutternut said, not pleased at all.
" Well, jackass, what are you waiting for? I am Princess Henious Bitch Part 1! Get of your fat ass and call the governor of Michigan! We have a war to fight tommorow!"
" Aye, Macarena!" sang Drunken Fool. " All the homies in the joint now!"
" Will someone shut her up?" the Duchess of Gayness demanded. But as usual, no one paid attention to the henious bitch.
" It's all-right that the United States Senate didn't believe you, Flutternut," said Han Homo, turning from the road to comfort his friend. Chrisbacca growled in agreement. " I'm sure everything will go the way you want it when we fight for the independence of Michigan. I'm sure everyone will believe you then."
As both of the drivers' attention was elsewhere, they ran over yet another unsuspecting pedestrian.
" Bloody hell!" shouted the Duchess of Gayness. " Are you trying to be in the Guinness World Book of Records."
" Alec Guiness!" Flutternut shouted. " That is who we need!"
" Sorry, dumbass, but the dude is dead," the Duchess of Gayness said, crushing her friends dreams and hopes for the future of mankind.
" Anyways, let's just check out the person we just ran over," Han Homo said, cutting into the hostile moment. " Let's hope it isn't another Drunken Fool."
" Chickas to the front!" Drunken Fool sang, stimulated once again into singing old, stupid songs by the sound of her name. " Ha, ha, ha, ha! Go around, around, around!"
" That's not how it goes!" shouted the Duchess of Gayness.
Of course, by now I think you all know that no one paid attention to her. Instead, they exited the Lesbian Falcon to check out the person they ran over.
It was yet another female (jesus, why can't they ever be guys?), who was pretty but not as sexy as Flutternut (will never happen). Han Homo and Chrisbacca helped the unconcious woman to her feet.
" Flutternut?" she said unsurely.
" Flutternut!" exclaimed Flutternut. "That's me!"
The woman looked disoriented among the world weary travelers (wtf!), her eyes finally resting on Flutternut's petite form. " Boris Yeltzin has sent me," she explained. " The Senate is not what I believe in anymore. Help me, Flutternut. You're my only hope."
With those last words, she drifted back into oblivion. Flutternut and her friends, now joined by the Duchess of Gayness, glanced in amazement at one another.
" Wow!" Han Homo said excitedly. " Boris Yeltzin! You're really hitting the big time now!"
" Hit me with your best shot!" everyone could hear Drunken Fool sing from the Lesbian Falcon. They cringed at the awful Pat Benatar song. " Fire away-ay-ay-ay-ay."
" Sounds like a damn broken record," the Duchess of Gayness muttered to herself.
" What should we do with this chick?" Han Homo asked.
" Throw her in the back with Drunken Fool," said Flutternut. " We have to get to Michigan and begin our crusade."
*MEANWHILE ON THE MOON . . . . *
Luke Skywalker sat in the shadows of Earth, waiting gleefully until his skilled Seagull Commando appeared from the horizon, wearing his custom made seagulls spacesuit so he wouldn't die (because unlike Skywalker and Flutternut, he wasn't a hot damn Jedi). The Seagulls Commando perched himself on Luke Skywalker's shoulder, cooing his daily report (okay, I don't think seagulls coo but that really has no revelence in the story anyways, so upward and onward). His stocks on hair spray went down (damn it), the latest news from Soap Opera digest (yes, finally Barbara and John screw after all this time), and the news of the young Jedi from Earth who could potentially ruin their whole damn Skywalker/Seagull order. But little did Flutternut know, there was a traitor among her group. As long as the informant was kept a secret, Flutternut and her little regime was going done . . . ooh, sweet, sweet victory was all Skywalkers . . . bwah, ha, ha, ha. Bwah, ha, ha.****
**MEANWHILE ON EARTH***
Once they arrived back in the home state of Michigan, in their quiet peaceful little town where all of this had started, the near roadkill woman began to rouse. Chrisbacca and Han Homo left to round up warriors for their 'Michigan Militia'. The Duchess of Gayness was sleeping, and Drunken Fool was counting her fingers, somehow transfigured by the fact there were ten of them.
Flutternut saw this as her opportunity to talk to the wordly stranger. " Who are you?" she asked.
" I am Princess Henious Bitch Part 1," she explained. " I am an old friend of Boris Yeltzin, the informant who told me the Senate's corruption and Skywalkers and the seagulls collaboration to take over the world." She paused. " I have an army who is willing to join in your fight for the independence of Michigan if that is what it is necessary for Skywalker to be stopped."
" Thank-you," said Flutternut. " You do not know how much this means to us."
Princess Henious Bitch Part 1 smiled, "Yes I do, you mental defroid. Oh, I'm feeling quite better."
" I can tell," Flutternut said, not pleased at all.
" Well, jackass, what are you waiting for? I am Princess Henious Bitch Part 1! Get of your fat ass and call the governor of Michigan! We have a war to fight tommorow!"