A/N: Jenny is NOT, I repeat, NOT a Self Insertion. All characters I create serve a purpose to my plot design. So the next person to say she's a SI gets a nine iron shoved up their rectal orifice. Got It?
What Friends Are For
"Come on, you can't stand there and tell me you don't find her attractive." Pepito said casually.
"You know I still have to pay you back for zapping me to her house like that. You know I don't like being zapped." Squee said rubbing his temples.
Pepito shrugged. "I did what I felt would work."
They were walking around down town like they always did. Sometimes Squees' trauma induced 'nature' would take over. But Pepito didn't mind, he often encouraged his companion to act out.
"I don't like any of this."
"But think of the possibilities! Someone to have as your own! Someone to hold you and make the pain cease!" He grinned. "Some one to love."
Squee snorted. "You know as well as I do that I am not allowed anything like that. I'm not supposed to be here, remember?" He started to walk faster.
Pepito had no trouble catching up. "Damn the fates, you can at least try."
Squee glared at him. "I'm not going to do anything. She might be better off this way. Besides I tried all that before." He walked backwards to face Pepito. "Remember Rebecca?"
A smirk appeared on the anti-Christs' lips. "Ah yes, I remember her. She was as sweet as they come. Well till she went out with you anyway." He let a thoughtful look cross his face. "I think she's afraid to go out now."
"That is my point."
"I still am not going to pay attention to your point and attempt to at least get you to talk to her." Pepito said. "Oh hey, look, here's a chance right now." He pushed Squee over.
Squee lost his balance and fell into some one. It was a split second after he saw that Pepito was gone that he realized who he had been pushed into.
"Get off me!" She yelled pushing at him.
He got up awkwardly and held out a hand to help he up. She actually did look a lot like her father. The same rounded head, spiked hair. But her eyes, they were softer, paler, less tormented.
He didn't apologize to her. He had gotten out of the habit of doing so a long time ago.
She ignored his hand and stood up brushing herself off. "Great, not only am I late for work but I'm filthy too." She gave him a scathing look. "Thank you very much!" She stormed off leaving him alone.
"Very smooth. I think she likes you."
Squee glared at the re materialized Pepito. "If it were possible I'd kill you."
"That's what I like about our relationship Todd. You laugh off everything I do to you, at you, against you. Well you get the idea."
There was the faint sound of a blade being drawn.
"Todd? Are you okay? Your eye is twitching. Why exactly are you coming at me with a knife in your hand like that?"
"If I can't kill you, I'll maim you instead." Squee said through gritted teeth.
"Well if that isn't my cue to leave." Pepito disappeared in a puff of smoke seconds before Squee reached for him.
Squee smiled. At least he had gotten rid of him. Maybe now he could go home and listen to the screams of his 'guests' in peace.
* * *
Three days later Squee found himself in front of the bookstore Jenny worked at. He felt like a stalker. Not that he was. He was more of an admirer who didn't know he was one.
Damn that Pepito. He was probably pulling a few strings with the fates to get Squee to feel anything towards Jenny.
This was going to end in pain, he just knew it.
Maybe if he drowned his sorrows in Cherry Brainfreezies and Peach Suck-o's...
He glanced back up through he plate glass window of the bookstore. She was moving around shelving books and generally 'looking busy'.
A shadow fell over him. "Oh now if this isn't just the picture of homicidal sweetness." Pepito said.
"Okay, tell me what you did." Squee said turning back to watch Jenny.
"What makes you think I did anything?"
"Because I can't stop thinking about her! You had to have done something! You can get conniving when you want to."
"Oh straight to the heart!"
"You don't have a heart!"
Pepito thought Squees' last comment over. "Okay, so what? I still didn't do anything. Maybe it's fate."
"I don't have a fate. The fates know all and they told me I was doomed to be alone for eternity."
"They didn't know about you at first and they didn't know you had that. What was he again? A Trauma Sponge? So, anyway, how could you not have a fate if you were fated to be alone for that laughable description of time?"
Squee opened his mouth then shut it.
"So you see my point."
"No! No, I will not do this. I've ruined every girl I've ever come across. Johnny would gut me himself if I ever touched her." He stopped and saw Pepitos' reaction. He didn't look happy.
Suddenly Shmee added something to the conversation.
Squee squinted his eyes and sized his semi-friend up. "You made a bet on if I'd do it didn't you."
"What? I, no! No, of course not." He glanced around.
"Shmee was right, you did!" He pulled a knife again.
"Now Todd. It's not all that bad." Pepito said as he backed away. "Hey! That saintly little freak Marco down the street from me provoked me! So I made a bet, big deal! I was protecting the Diablo name!"
"Who is she really?" Squee demanded.
"I told you the truth! She's his kid! I got to choose the girl. I figured the only living daughter of that homicidal wreak you followed would be someone you couldn't resist." He crossed his arms. "Looks like I was wrong."
"Pepito, if you ever do something like this again, I will gut you like the pig you resemble and keep doing it every time you come back."
"Now Todd, I know you don't mean that."
One of Squees' eyes got bigger than the other. "Push me, I dare you."
"Okay then, I'll just wait for you to cool off." He disappeared in the usual puff of smoke.
* * *
Back in the bookstore Jenny glanced warily at Squee who was now waving away purplish smoke. She raised an eyebrow then shook her head. The people in this town got stranger and stranger. Not to mention more annoying by the hour.
"Oh come on! Look at him! He's cute!"
"Maria, I don't care what you say. The guy ran into me a few days ago, now he's stalking me. So no."
The sort of smallish Hispanic girl called Maria sighed. "You are gonna wind up like Devi, I swear."
"Like who?"
Maria straightened up. "Oh, she's a, uh, Saint. Yeah."
Jenny stared at her newly acquired friend blankly. "Whatever. Are you going to just sit there and watch those books leap on the shelves?"
Maria shrugged and picked up a box. She started to shelve the books and paused every now and then to make sure the three little sixes that were just inside her hairline stayed covered.
"This is going to be harder than I thought." 'Maria' muttered as 'she' got to work.
What Friends Are For
"Come on, you can't stand there and tell me you don't find her attractive." Pepito said casually.
"You know I still have to pay you back for zapping me to her house like that. You know I don't like being zapped." Squee said rubbing his temples.
Pepito shrugged. "I did what I felt would work."
They were walking around down town like they always did. Sometimes Squees' trauma induced 'nature' would take over. But Pepito didn't mind, he often encouraged his companion to act out.
"I don't like any of this."
"But think of the possibilities! Someone to have as your own! Someone to hold you and make the pain cease!" He grinned. "Some one to love."
Squee snorted. "You know as well as I do that I am not allowed anything like that. I'm not supposed to be here, remember?" He started to walk faster.
Pepito had no trouble catching up. "Damn the fates, you can at least try."
Squee glared at him. "I'm not going to do anything. She might be better off this way. Besides I tried all that before." He walked backwards to face Pepito. "Remember Rebecca?"
A smirk appeared on the anti-Christs' lips. "Ah yes, I remember her. She was as sweet as they come. Well till she went out with you anyway." He let a thoughtful look cross his face. "I think she's afraid to go out now."
"That is my point."
"I still am not going to pay attention to your point and attempt to at least get you to talk to her." Pepito said. "Oh hey, look, here's a chance right now." He pushed Squee over.
Squee lost his balance and fell into some one. It was a split second after he saw that Pepito was gone that he realized who he had been pushed into.
"Get off me!" She yelled pushing at him.
He got up awkwardly and held out a hand to help he up. She actually did look a lot like her father. The same rounded head, spiked hair. But her eyes, they were softer, paler, less tormented.
He didn't apologize to her. He had gotten out of the habit of doing so a long time ago.
She ignored his hand and stood up brushing herself off. "Great, not only am I late for work but I'm filthy too." She gave him a scathing look. "Thank you very much!" She stormed off leaving him alone.
"Very smooth. I think she likes you."
Squee glared at the re materialized Pepito. "If it were possible I'd kill you."
"That's what I like about our relationship Todd. You laugh off everything I do to you, at you, against you. Well you get the idea."
There was the faint sound of a blade being drawn.
"Todd? Are you okay? Your eye is twitching. Why exactly are you coming at me with a knife in your hand like that?"
"If I can't kill you, I'll maim you instead." Squee said through gritted teeth.
"Well if that isn't my cue to leave." Pepito disappeared in a puff of smoke seconds before Squee reached for him.
Squee smiled. At least he had gotten rid of him. Maybe now he could go home and listen to the screams of his 'guests' in peace.
* * *
Three days later Squee found himself in front of the bookstore Jenny worked at. He felt like a stalker. Not that he was. He was more of an admirer who didn't know he was one.
Damn that Pepito. He was probably pulling a few strings with the fates to get Squee to feel anything towards Jenny.
This was going to end in pain, he just knew it.
Maybe if he drowned his sorrows in Cherry Brainfreezies and Peach Suck-o's...
He glanced back up through he plate glass window of the bookstore. She was moving around shelving books and generally 'looking busy'.
A shadow fell over him. "Oh now if this isn't just the picture of homicidal sweetness." Pepito said.
"Okay, tell me what you did." Squee said turning back to watch Jenny.
"What makes you think I did anything?"
"Because I can't stop thinking about her! You had to have done something! You can get conniving when you want to."
"Oh straight to the heart!"
"You don't have a heart!"
Pepito thought Squees' last comment over. "Okay, so what? I still didn't do anything. Maybe it's fate."
"I don't have a fate. The fates know all and they told me I was doomed to be alone for eternity."
"They didn't know about you at first and they didn't know you had that. What was he again? A Trauma Sponge? So, anyway, how could you not have a fate if you were fated to be alone for that laughable description of time?"
Squee opened his mouth then shut it.
"So you see my point."
"No! No, I will not do this. I've ruined every girl I've ever come across. Johnny would gut me himself if I ever touched her." He stopped and saw Pepitos' reaction. He didn't look happy.
Suddenly Shmee added something to the conversation.
Squee squinted his eyes and sized his semi-friend up. "You made a bet on if I'd do it didn't you."
"What? I, no! No, of course not." He glanced around.
"Shmee was right, you did!" He pulled a knife again.
"Now Todd. It's not all that bad." Pepito said as he backed away. "Hey! That saintly little freak Marco down the street from me provoked me! So I made a bet, big deal! I was protecting the Diablo name!"
"Who is she really?" Squee demanded.
"I told you the truth! She's his kid! I got to choose the girl. I figured the only living daughter of that homicidal wreak you followed would be someone you couldn't resist." He crossed his arms. "Looks like I was wrong."
"Pepito, if you ever do something like this again, I will gut you like the pig you resemble and keep doing it every time you come back."
"Now Todd, I know you don't mean that."
One of Squees' eyes got bigger than the other. "Push me, I dare you."
"Okay then, I'll just wait for you to cool off." He disappeared in the usual puff of smoke.
* * *
Back in the bookstore Jenny glanced warily at Squee who was now waving away purplish smoke. She raised an eyebrow then shook her head. The people in this town got stranger and stranger. Not to mention more annoying by the hour.
"Oh come on! Look at him! He's cute!"
"Maria, I don't care what you say. The guy ran into me a few days ago, now he's stalking me. So no."
The sort of smallish Hispanic girl called Maria sighed. "You are gonna wind up like Devi, I swear."
"Like who?"
Maria straightened up. "Oh, she's a, uh, Saint. Yeah."
Jenny stared at her newly acquired friend blankly. "Whatever. Are you going to just sit there and watch those books leap on the shelves?"
Maria shrugged and picked up a box. She started to shelve the books and paused every now and then to make sure the three little sixes that were just inside her hairline stayed covered.
"This is going to be harder than I thought." 'Maria' muttered as 'she' got to work.