A/N: Beware, This was another 2:30a.m.er...
Lockhart:Welcome back, Ladies and Gents! Its another interesting edition today! Past Hogwarts teachers that taught Defence against the Dark Arts will be here today! *Well, duh, not me because I'm the host! Anyways, it wouldn't be fair because the ladies just would pick me from the start...*
Oliver Wood: Would you stuff a sock in it! HOST THE SHOW!! YOU FATHEAD !
Lockhart:Please welcome our bachelors! Come on out!
*Moody, Lupin, and Quirrel walk out on stage*
Lockhart: And our lucky gal...come on out!
*McGonagall comes out*
Lockhart: So, girl, ask away!
McGonagall: Bachelor #1, would you say you were...wait just a moment! What the heck does that have to do with ANYTHING!
Lockhart: I, uh, have *cough,cough* um, nothing to do with the questions...heh,heh...heh...
McGonagall:Well, in that case...#1, do you consider yourself fat?
Quirrel: F-A-T or P-H-A-T? Well, I am pretty foxy! I'm not tubby either.
*Groan from audience disagreeing*
McGonagall:Quirrel?!?! Is that you?!
Quirrel: Minerva? What are you doing on here?
McGonagall: What am I doing on here!? What are YOU doing on here!?!? I thought you were dead!
Quirrel: Well, what can I say? It was too gruesome for the kiddies. Had to bring me back. By the way, stop calling me 'Quirrel'.
McGonagall: What should I call you by then?
Quirrel: Have you tried my first name?
McGonagall: Uh, oh yeah, right. Sorry for the stupid question but what is your first name anyways?
Quirrel:Err...Actually I don't know either. Everyone just always called me 'Quirrel'. It was always "Quirrel do this, Quirrel do that." I guess I just don't have a first name. *Sniff, Sniff*WAHHHHH!!!!
Mcgonagall: Oh, I'm sorry. *Oi-veh!* Anyways, on with the show. Bachelor #2 do you have a girlfriend?
Lupin: I did once but I accidently bit her on our first date.
Mcganagall: *Accidently! Ewww...* Okay, now...#3, how much, would you say, knowledge do you have in DADA?
Moody: None that I could teach children...
Mcgonagall: But you specialize in that! YOU TAUGHT IT!
Moody: No, I didn't.
Mcgonagall: Yes, you did!
Moody: Nuh-uh!
Mcgonagall: Yuh-huh!
Moody: Phht!
Lockhart: Okay, break it up, people, break it up.
Moody: She started it.
McGonagall: Did not!
Moody: Did so!
McGonagall: Oh yeah? Take this! *Takes out compact mirror/makeup and points it around the wall at Moody* Stupefy!
*Moody dodges it*
Moody: Right back at you! * Blasts the wall to smitherines*
McGonagall: My hair! You singed my hair! *Casts jelly legs*
*Moody mumbles a spell back*
Lockhart: *Jumping out of the way of a misaimed spell* Ah! Don't kill the host!
*Moody and McGonagall are killing the set and blasting it into itty bitty bits of smouldering ash*
Lockhart: Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!!!
*Moody and McGonagall suddenly stop and face Lockhart*
McGonagall: *To Moody* On the count of three. One...
Moody:Two...
Moody and McGonagall:THREE!!! *Cast spells at Lockhart*
Lockhart: *Wobbeling around because of Jelly Legs and putting his hat out because it was fire* Thanks Ladies and Gentlemen...OW! *Falls to floor, (Full Body Bind) ringed nose hair and all* Goodbye and acn can somebody HELP ME!!!
A/N: Can anyone find the secret Jamba Juice cup in there? I lost it while I was writing...
Lockhart:Welcome back, Ladies and Gents! Its another interesting edition today! Past Hogwarts teachers that taught Defence against the Dark Arts will be here today! *Well, duh, not me because I'm the host! Anyways, it wouldn't be fair because the ladies just would pick me from the start...*
Oliver Wood: Would you stuff a sock in it! HOST THE SHOW!! YOU FATHEAD !
Lockhart:Please welcome our bachelors! Come on out!
*Moody, Lupin, and Quirrel walk out on stage*
Lockhart: And our lucky gal...come on out!
*McGonagall comes out*
Lockhart: So, girl, ask away!
McGonagall: Bachelor #1, would you say you were...wait just a moment! What the heck does that have to do with ANYTHING!
Lockhart: I, uh, have *cough,cough* um, nothing to do with the questions...heh,heh...heh...
McGonagall:Well, in that case...#1, do you consider yourself fat?
Quirrel: F-A-T or P-H-A-T? Well, I am pretty foxy! I'm not tubby either.
*Groan from audience disagreeing*
McGonagall:Quirrel?!?! Is that you?!
Quirrel: Minerva? What are you doing on here?
McGonagall: What am I doing on here!? What are YOU doing on here!?!? I thought you were dead!
Quirrel: Well, what can I say? It was too gruesome for the kiddies. Had to bring me back. By the way, stop calling me 'Quirrel'.
McGonagall: What should I call you by then?
Quirrel: Have you tried my first name?
McGonagall: Uh, oh yeah, right. Sorry for the stupid question but what is your first name anyways?
Quirrel:Err...Actually I don't know either. Everyone just always called me 'Quirrel'. It was always "Quirrel do this, Quirrel do that." I guess I just don't have a first name. *Sniff, Sniff*WAHHHHH!!!!
Mcgonagall: Oh, I'm sorry. *Oi-veh!* Anyways, on with the show. Bachelor #2 do you have a girlfriend?
Lupin: I did once but I accidently bit her on our first date.
Mcganagall: *Accidently! Ewww...* Okay, now...#3, how much, would you say, knowledge do you have in DADA?
Moody: None that I could teach children...
Mcgonagall: But you specialize in that! YOU TAUGHT IT!
Moody: No, I didn't.
Mcgonagall: Yes, you did!
Moody: Nuh-uh!
Mcgonagall: Yuh-huh!
Moody: Phht!
Lockhart: Okay, break it up, people, break it up.
Moody: She started it.
McGonagall: Did not!
Moody: Did so!
McGonagall: Oh yeah? Take this! *Takes out compact mirror/makeup and points it around the wall at Moody* Stupefy!
*Moody dodges it*
Moody: Right back at you! * Blasts the wall to smitherines*
McGonagall: My hair! You singed my hair! *Casts jelly legs*
*Moody mumbles a spell back*
Lockhart: *Jumping out of the way of a misaimed spell* Ah! Don't kill the host!
*Moody and McGonagall are killing the set and blasting it into itty bitty bits of smouldering ash*
Lockhart: Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!!!
*Moody and McGonagall suddenly stop and face Lockhart*
McGonagall: *To Moody* On the count of three. One...
Moody:Two...
Moody and McGonagall:THREE!!! *Cast spells at Lockhart*
Lockhart: *Wobbeling around because of Jelly Legs and putting his hat out because it was fire* Thanks Ladies and Gentlemen...OW! *Falls to floor, (Full Body Bind) ringed nose hair and all* Goodbye and acn can somebody HELP ME!!!
A/N: Can anyone find the secret Jamba Juice cup in there? I lost it while I was writing...