The Power of Penguins, a gundam wing/ac fanfic

The Power of Penguins

Authors Note: I got the idea for this when I was totally high strung on caffeine. I was off the walls with only 15 Penguins; I can only imagine what having as many as some charas in this story had would be like. Oh yeah and like always, if you thought that I made Gundam Wing, that you very very much! I love flattery, but seriously folks I had nothing to do with its creation so please don't sue me.

Duo went to the counter of Hot Topic with his new black pants and studded belt. Putting the items on the counter he noticed a display. They were having a sale on caffeinated Penguin mints, three bucks for two packs. That was nearly half price! He grabbed tow, and then two more, just to be safe.

Climbing into his raised, black, dodge pickup he franticly took the wrapper off the Penguins and popped some into his mouth. He loved those little guys. All the way home he was constantly popping more into his mouth. He finished the last one in the tin can as he pulled into the driveway of the safe house.

The mints from earlier in the drive where starting to kick in. He was shaking from the massive amount of caffeine that was surging though his veins. He bounded in though the door. "Ha-oome!" He called out.

"He seems more hyper then usual." Heero said.

Duo skipped into the living room. "Why is everyone sitting? It's a be-utiful day outside. We should go ride bikes or toilet papering or dancing or something!" Duo said jumping up and down.

"Holy shit Maxwell how much caffeine did you consume?" Wu Fei asked.

"Only a package of Penguins." Duo started to jump on the couch. Quatre and Heero jumped off of it before he jumped on them as well.

"We told you not to go near those things!" Quatre scolded.

"A whole pack? That's about 75 mints." Heero said.

"And three are equivalent in caffeine to one coke." Trowa said.

"That's like 25 sodas!" Wu Fei said.

Duo found this hilarious for one reason or another. He started to laugh hysterically until he got off the couch and rolled on the floor.

"Well at least he's not on the couch any more."

Duo stood up suddenly, "I'm hot. Last one in the pool can't pilot a Mobile!" He yelled. Stripping off his shirt he charged outside. He ran around to the diving board. He jumped off the board, did a twist, a flip, and cannon balled into the pool. He abruptly exited the pool and did it again.

"How the hell do we stop him?" Trowa asked.

"I can think of one way." Heero said, brandishing his gun.

"No Heero we can't kill him." Quatre said. He winced at the sight of Duo doing a belly flop off the diving board.

"Why not?" Wu Fei asked, "I'm with Heero."

"We are going to have to find a way to get him calmed down." Quatre said.

"How about sleeping pills?" Trowa asked.

"That might just work, but how the hell will we get him to consume enough to knock him out?" Wu Fei said.

Duo ran up to the still open back door, "I'm hungry I want food! Who wants food? Huh huh?? I want food! Can we have food?" Duo rambled this so fast that the most anyone could catch was the word food.

"Why don't I make you a pizza?" Quatre said.

Duo started to jump up and down, "Pizza! Pizza! Pizza! Pizza! Pizza!"

"Go out and swim some more while I make you one."

Duo nodded feverishly splashing water over the others. He ran out and jumped in the pool again.

Heero rung his shirt out, "Quatre, explain."

"Heero go out and get enough sleeping pills to kill a cat. Wu Fei keep Duo occupied. And Trowa, find a recipe or something, I have no idea how to make a pizza." Quatre said.

They all nodded, they knew what he was going to do. "Mission Excepted." Heero said. He grabbed the keys to the Honda civic that he boosted from a street racer the night before. The baby was loaded with everything you could put under the hood. It even had two shots of nitro, which could make a car accelerate to over 160 in mere seconds. He would be able to get the pills before Quatre knew he left.

He walked to the door, stopped and turned around, "Small or large cat?" He asked, hopping he would say large.

"We are trying to drug him not kill him." Quatre said.

Heero took the hint and left. Wu Fei reluctantly went to his job. Keeping Duo occupied would be harder then fighting a thousand Virgos. Trowa went to his laptop and worked as fast as he could to find a pizza recipe as Quatre started getting out the tings he knew he would need.

Twenty minutes later:

Heero crushed the contents of the bottle of pills into powder using the blender. Quatre was busy kneading the dough and double-checking the instructions. Trowa washed silently from the window as a drenched Duo chased Wu Fei around the backyard, beckoning him to go swimming with him.

Heero put the powdered substance into a small bowl and handed it to Quatre. "Thanks." Quatre said. He poured the powder on the dough and started to knead it in. When he wad done he flattened it until it was round and started to put the toppings on.

"We better get this done soon before Duo kills Wu Fei." Quatre said as he placed the pepperonis.

They heard a splash, 'God damn it Duo what the fuck did you do that for? I should smash your shit from brains in!" They heard Wu Fei yell.

"Or vise versa." Trowa commented.

Duo swam to the edge he scrabbled out of the pool. Wu Fei fallowed close behind. Grabbing Duo's foot he pulled him back in and pushed him under water. Wu Fei held him under water for over a minute.

"How much longer?" Wu Fei hollered.

"30 minutes." Trowa said.

"You mean I have to stay with monkey boy for another half hour?"

"Trowa will take over." Heero said.

"What!?" Trowa said.

"We might as well start taking shifts. The last thing we want is duo high strung running a muck around tow. He may give away our position or worst." Heero said.

"Your right." Trowa said with a sigh. he stood and went outside.

Wu Fei let Duo up and left the pool. "Good luck." He muttered.

Duo gasped, inhaling as much air as his lungs could handle. He started to cough. "Trowa," He crocked, "help me out pal."

Trowa knelt down offering Duo his hand. Duo grasped his hand with both of his. He smirked, "Pool party!" He yelled, pulling Trowa into the pool.

The sting of curses that came out of Trowa's mouth added up to more then what he said in the entire series.

Duo suddenly jumped out of the pool. "I have something for you in my truck that you might like." He said running around to the side gate to the front. He came back a few moments later. His shaky hands tried to unwrap the package. "Hey Trowa, be a friend and open this." He tossed the tin can at Trowa.

Trowa, fully clothed, was still standing in the shallow part of the pool. He caught the can./ So this is the culprit/ He though, /I wonder why Duo thinks there are so good./ He peeled the shrink wrap off and popped a mint into his mouth. /Wow these are good!/ He put five more in.

"Whoa, pace your self." Duo said.

Trowa looked up and back at the mints, he shrugged and put a handful more in his mouth.

Quatre turned the oven light on and looked in. "Almost ready." He said.

Wu Fei came into the kitchen. He was in a fresh set of clothes and was drying his hair. "I'm going to kill that dumb ass sooner or later." He said.

Duo and Trowa burst though the back door brandishing water guns.

Try and get me!" Trowa yelled shooting a stream of water at duo.

"What the hell?" Heero said. Wu Fei and Quatre stared with wide eyes.

"He must of given some to Trowa." Quatre managed.

Duo dodged the attack, "Take that OZ fiend!" Duo sprayed Trowa's back.

"I'll get you for that." Trowa strayed Duo. They ran around the downstairs leaving a path of water from their dripping cloths and guns. They burst into the kitchen again.

Duo grabbed Wu Fei and threw him on his shoulder before Wu Fei knew what hit him, "I've caught the traitor! To the pit!"

Trowa thrust his hand and weapon into the air, "Yeah!" He yelled. They ran back outside.

Quatre shook his head, "I don't even want to know." He said as they heard a splash and cheering from Trowa and Duo.

Wu Fei stormed inside, dripping water everywhere. He mumbled how he would kill both of them.

"Have a nice swim?" Heero asked.

"Shut up spandex boy." He said has he stomped his way upstairs for yet another shower. The slamming of the bathroom door could be heard all the way downstairs.

The oven beeped. "Shall we end this chaos?" Quatre said, "Tell them that dinner is ready."

Duo and Trowa fidgeted in their seats, "I worked hard on this so I want you guys to eat all of it." Quatre said.

Trowa seemed to forget that the sleeping pills were in the pizza though the caffeine high. He grabbed two pieces, one in each hand, and started eating them.

Duo ate a piece in 4 seconds flat and grabbed another. Their combined forces finished the pizza in five minutes. Heero and Quatre watched dumbfounded, they couldn't believe how fast hey ate the pizza.

"I wanna jump on the trampoline!" Duo said, his mouth full with at least one piece of pizza.

"Yeah!" Trowa yelled.

Duo had too much energy to simply go around the table. He jumped on it, ran across the top, jumped down, and ran outside with Trowa on his tail.

It's going to take another 45 minutes for those babies to kick in." Heero said.

"Want to flip for watch?" Quatre pulled out a coin. Heero nodded. "Winner washes dishes, loser takes after the hyper ones." Quatre said, "Call it." He flipped the coin.

"Heads."

The coin fell in Quatre's hand, he flipped it on to the back of his hand, "Tails."

Heero headed into the backyard as Quatre started to wash the pizza dishes.

"I can jump higher!" Duo posted as he jumped.

"So? Watch this." Trowa did three back flips.

"And?" Duo asked, "Lets see you do this one." Duo did a twist, grabbed his legs and did two front flips.

"Where did you learn that one? Kindergarten?"

"You are looking at St. Mary's high dive champion three years running."

"Well let's see you do this." Trowa did his signature back flip with a triple twist.

"I bet that I can do four twists."

"Bet not."

Heero rolled his eyes. It was as if the caffeine made them into preschoolers. He went back to the magazine he was flipping though. He heard the spring of someone jumping followed by a yelp. He looked up just in time to see Duo land face first on the trampoline.

"Crap." Duo said rubbing his face. Trowa was rolling around on the trampoline.

Duo jumped again. He came down, "Popcorn!" He yelled.

Trowa was flung up in the air. Some how he managed to righten his self before he came down. Duo flew in the air. The cycle continued.

Heero kept to his magazine. It had only been fifteen minutes and already they were driving him crazy.

"Trowa," Duo whispered. He beckoned Trowa to come near, "I bet you ten bucks hat I can get Heero's gun before you."

"You're on."

They snuck off the trampoline and over to Heero. Heero was aware of what they were doing. Trowa reached for his gun from behind his chair. Heero grabbed his hand. "Oh no you don't." He said.

Duo took the chance of Heero being distracted and grabbed the gun, "I got it! I got it!" He chanted.

"Duo give it back." Hero said calmly.

Duo pointed the gun at him, "Not all tough without your gun now are we?"

"Duo…" Heero said though his teeth.

Duo saw a bird fly by, "Think I can hit it?" He asked Trowa.

"Go for it, but it's my turn next."

Duo aimed. Heero tackled him, the gun fired.

Quatre dropped a plate when he heard the gun go off. The plate shattered on the tile floor. After navigating his way away from the porcelain he ran outside.

"Heero what did you d-Heero?"

Duo was sitting on Heero tickle torturing him as Trowa held down his arms. They quickly left the gun after Heero wrestled it out of duo's hands.

"Nothing!" Heero yelled between laughs.

"Aaaaaaawwwww Heero's ticklish!" Duo said in baby talk, "Wittle Heewo is ticklish."

Quatre rolled his eyes. /Will this every end?/

Wu Fei came running outside. "Aw, I thought that Yuy killed one of them."

Quatre glared at him.

Heero wrapped his feet around Duo's neck and pulled him back. With duo off he did the same with Trowa. They rolled over until Heero was on top of Trowa. Unable to resist the urge Heero punched him in the face.

"Impressive." Quatre said.

Heero stood. He knelt and picked up his gun. Opening the clip, he let all but one of the bullets slip thought his fingers. He walked over to Wu Fei and Quatre, "This isn't working. We need to do more." He held the one bullet up, "Or I will fire this."

Only Wu Fei saw as Duo and Trowa snuck up behind them. He took a step back away from them.

Duo grabbed Heero and Trowa grabbed Quatre. "To the pit!" They yelled at the same time.

After throwing them into the pool Duo and Trowa started to run around. "Heero vie me the gun." Quatre said.

"What!?"

"And the bullet." Quatre looked at Heero, his hand thrust forward. his eyes were dead serious.

Heero handed over the weapon. Quatre climbed out of the pool. He grabbed another bullet off the ground, but only loaded the one. Heero got out of the pool and went over to Wu Fei.

"What is he doing?" Wu Fei asked.

"I don't know, but he's not joking."

Quatre aimed the gun. He fired.

Duo could feel the force of the bullet wiz by. He stopped cold his eyes filled with fear. He checked over his self. "Ha! You missed!"

"Really?" Quatre said.

Duo grabbed his braid; the last two weaves and the elastic had been blown away. "No! How could you?"

Quatre loaded the second bullet, "Next time I aim for he part nearest to your head."

Since Quatre was directing the gun towards Duo Trowa didn't think that it concerned him. "Trowa you want a hair cut as well?" Quatre asked. Trowa stopped jumping on the trampoline.

"What is your beef?" Duo asked.

"Inside." Quatre said.

"Oh yeah? Or what?" Trowa demanded.

Quatre cocked his gun, "Or you can kiss your bangs goodbye."

Trowa and Duo looked at each other, they decided it was best if they did what he said. They dare not see if he was bluffing. Putting their hands in the air they started to walk inside.

Quatre followed, "Get the handcuffs and chains." He said to Heero and Wu Fei.

"What's the big idea?" Duo asked. Both Trowa and him had been tied to chairs facing back to back. The handcuffs dug into their wrists and the chains were so tight that they were starting to do the same to where ever they touched skin. It's common knowledge that Gundam Pilots can break out of almost anything. The combination of chains and handcuffs was a rather hard one. It would take Duo nearly an hour to worm his way out of this one.

Quatre played with the gun in his hand. He twirled it around in circles on his finger, "Here is the big idea; you stay there until you are asleep. If you make one false move it will be more then your hair that feels it."

"What is your problem Quatre? Your acting like some Mafia boss." Trowa said.

"Driving me crazy is one things, but throwing me in the pool is another."

Wu Fei and Heero stayed back. They had never seen Quatre so serious, but it was working. They would rather stay on Quatre's good side and watch the sweet revenge then get in his way.

"Fifteen minutes." Heero said.

"Till what?" Duo asked.

Quatre turned to Heero and Wu Fei, "What should we do with them?"

"I say we throw them into the pit." Wu Fei said.

"How about shaving their heads?" Heero said.

"Or drag them behind a car."

"Drop them off the roof."

"Make them wash our Gundams."

"I know, lets pry their eyes open and make them watch Relena's home movies from her beach vacation."

"No!!! Anything but that!!" Trowa and Duo yelled at the same time.

"That settles it." Quatre said, "I'll get the duct tape, you get the movies."

"How do you have those?" Wu Fei asked laughing.

"She gave me a copy. Can you believe it? Like I would actually watch it." Heero said as he went to his closet, the place where he buried the evil videos.

From the other room Quatre, Heero, and Wu Fei heard screams of fright from Trowa and Duo as they watched Relena frolic around the beach in her swimsuit.

"Great idea Heero." Quatre said coming out of the bathroom in a fresh set of clothes. He threw the gun back to Heero.

Heero put the gun back; he looked at his watch, "Only one more minute."

"And then this hell is over!" Wu Fei said.

The screams faded until all they could hear was Relena saying, "Come on Millardo. Help me build this sand castle."

"Finally!" Wu Fei said happily.

In the other room Trowa and Duo were sleeping soundly. They carried them upstairs to their rooms and collapsed into their own beds. It was only eight at night, but to them it felt like two am.

Late that night a shadow snuck across the hall. Silently the figure moved down the stairs and though the front door. After a few seconds the figure came back inside and went back upstairs.

"Got them?"

"Yeah."

"Hand me one."

"Alright, be quiet."

The two voices whispered in the dark. It was silent for a few minutes. The only sound that could be heard was the light clinking of two tins cans. They started giggling.

The giggling woke up Heero. He walked across the hall to Trowa's room. He flipped the light switch, "Not again! Damn it!" He knew that he should have gotten enough to kill a large cat.

On the floor Duo and Trowa sat, with two empty cans of Penguins.