Senselessness
Blabber: Hah, the second part of this insanity this one, hopefully, will be funnier.
Kamui: Only 'cause it's longer
Eva: Shut up, you.
Disclaimer: All X and CLAMP-related characters belong to the four-woman deity. Ehother works belong to whoever they belong toand nothing belongs to me except for the crazy idea.
Senselessness—Scene 2
(A dark alley. It is late at night; a dog howls somewhere far off.)
Yuzuriha: (walking slowly, throwing fearful glances about) Gee, I wonder where Kusanagi-san ishe said he'd be here
(A masked man jumps out, as if to mug her)
Yuzuriha: Oh my kami-sama!! (She jumps backwards and strikes a pose) TRANSFORM!! (We look on in bemusement as she is stripped in a blinding bolt of light and is re-clothed in a skimpy, tight costume with impossibly high-heeled shoes.) I represent the Moon to defeat evil! And that means you. (Points at would-be-robber)
Masked Man: (runs away yelping)
Yuzuriha: (big genki grin) Thanks Inuki! TRANSFORM!! (She turns back into her, er, "normal" self. She leans down to pat something a couple of feet above the ground.) You were great. Yes, thank you very much, Inuki.
Kusanagi:(appearing out of a trash can) Hey Yuzuriha-chan!
Yuzuriha: (waving) Hiiii!! (We cover our ears and groan at the high number of decibels she emits.)
Kusanagi: Shall we go to that ice-cream place I saw the other day?
Yuzuriha: Sure! (She pats the air again) Inuki was wanting to eat some ice cream too, weren't you Inuki?
Kusanagi: (massive chuckle. Elephants in the Tokyo Zoo go wild upon hearing his subsonic voice.)
(The two skip off, singing "Follow the Yellow Brick Road".)
(Yuuto hangs from the ledge of a bathroom window in the women's dorm of CLAMP campus college division. His eyes are almost as large as a certain pretty purple-eyed boy's as he gazes in.)
Yuuto: Heh. Satsuki prolly won't be happy. (A wire attached to a tiny spy-camera peeks over his shoulder, and he flicks it away without looking back.) Yep. Definitely not. (He remains glued to the window)
(Nakuru appears and grins at him before smacking his hands loose with a large manual reading "How To Be A Woman—A Complete Guide".)
Nakuru: (watching Yuuto fall) NyahEriol-san wouldn't have been so kind.
Yuuto: (coughing as he rises from a tangle of poison oak, planted there exclusively for such hentai as he) "KIND"? (muttering) This Eriol kid must be quite nasty indeed(he stumbles off, not noticing the spy-camera following him.)
(In the lair of the Dragons of Earth, Satsuki is connected to BEAST, as usual.)
Satsuki: Mwhahahahahahahaha(she pats BEAST.) Good boy. Yeah, so we've got the whipped cream, the chocolate sauce, and the furry handcuffs. What are we missing? (BEAST grunts digitally) Oh yes, and the whips. (She throws her head up and cackles) AhahahahaI almost feel sorry for Yuuto-san
(In the Ice-cream parlor named "Calorie Hell", Kusanagi and Yuzuriha are happily chomping away.)
Yuzuriha: (chewing on one end of a banana) Mmmhmmmmhmm
Kusanagi: (chewing on the other end) Mmmhmmmhmmmm
(However, before their lips can meet, there is a commotion on the other side of the store. It seems to involve a spiky-haired redhead who is, apparently, yelling at himself.)
Daisuke: GEHHH! DARKKK! You bought this WHOLE sundae?!! Are you insane??!! (He baps himself a few times on the head) Come back out here and eat it!! GEEEHHH!!
(some girls titter)
Daisuke: (freaking out) AHHH!!! Rika! Risu! (muttering) so that's how he changed
(Suddenly the whole storefront shatters. A blue-eyed guy with an interesting hairstyle flies in, slow-motion. He is grinning Evilly ™.)
Krad: (sees Daisuke immediately) Ah! Wing Master! (He attacks)
Yuzuriha: (standing as the other patrons start to scream and run away) Kusa, d'you recognize that man?
Kusanagi: (squints) Nope.
Yuzuriha: (analytically) So he's not a Dragon of Earth?
Kusanagi: Nope.
Yuzuriha: Hmm he sure reminds me of that guy who wears designer sunglasses and promotes illegal smoking to minors
Kusanagi: "Kamui"?
Yuzuriha: Yeahand there was another onebut isn't he dead?
(Before Kusanagi can answer, Seishirou's ghost pops up in the air over his head.)
Seishirou's Ghost: Did you mention my humble name?
Yuzuriha: (striking defensive pose) Yeeeahhso?
Seishirou: (crankily) If you don't want me don't call me. (Before he exits he pats Krad on the shoulder as the latter mauls Daisuke.) 'Later old pal.
Krad: 'Later.
(Kamui enters and whines piteously)
Kamui: I got no lines!
-Author- Well now you do, so shut up.
Kamui: (valiantly) Let's go, Krad! Even though you're not a DoE, you're still hurting that poor kid!
Krad: (lifts an eyebrow) Ah
(They fight)
Kamui: (lying in a heap) How did this happen again? I mean, what the BEEP, even though I'm supposed to be the most powerful of the DoH, I still get beaten up?
(All of the other Dragons appear. Krad laughes evilly and flies off.)
Dragons: That's right.
Kamui: GRR.I hate you all. I'm not gonna save the world anymore.
Crowd: (gasp)
Fuuma: (landing near his injured counterpart) Yep. Yay! That means I get to be the good guy.
Kamui: (smiles) Mommy always said to take turns.
(They hug)
Crowd: awwwhow sweeet
-Intermission. Remember, no kekkais in the theater. And please, avoid all plot twists.-
Eva: Hahlooks like another mite of shounen-ai for ya
Kamui: UGH
Dark: Hey, I didn't even get an appearance.
Eva: If you had you would've taken over the whole thing.
Dark: (muttering) Darn it.
Eva: Questions? Comments? Scroll downsee that big blank box? Type 'em there.
(backstage, Seishirou and Hokuto's ghosts are chasing Subaru)