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Title: The Day it fell apart
Author: Strange Music
Pairing: Friendship Benton/Carter
Rating: PG
Summary: Thought the episode there was one thing I recognized
the most. Carter is a terrible liar. Benton POV of some of the
events taking place on MayDay
Email: Strange_music@hotmail.com
Web Page: Pushed back even further because I don't know if I
will stay with the current one (Thank you SO much Homestead
for starting to charge you costumer)
Disclaimer: The characters and events taking place in this story
belong to they respective owner and not to me.
Warnings: Spoiler for the End of May Day
.:/Can you keep your head
.:/Your backbone or your heart
.:/You'll all find out the answer
.:/on the it fell apart
"The day it fell appart" by Leslie Fish
The Day it fell apart
By Strange Music
He is a terrible liar.
I have known that ever since I met him.
If not the worst liar that I ever known that at least a pretty close runner to it.
Ever since I started working with him I knew that I would always know the truth.
That I would always know everything I needed to know about him.
All that I would have to do was ask him.
And when he would answer I would know.
If he would answer truthfully I would know.
And if he would try and lie I would know too.
Cause I would be able to see when he would lie.
Because the things is that he just wasn't able to lie and would give himself away
whenever he tried to. Funnily he actually thought that he could lie. That his unsure
stutter his flickering guilty gaze and his wrenching hands wouldn't tip of even a
blind person.
So it wasn't a surprise when Abby knew that something had been going on when
she went back into the room.
So it wasn't a surprise when both Dr. Weaver and Mark could see it when he
denied it.
And it wasn't a surprise to me when I was able to see it on his face as he looked at
us. No matter the words I could see that it wasn't the truth.
All this wasn't a surprise.
The actually surprise was something else.
The realisation that as lousy liar as he was he still had us fooled ever since he
gotten back too work.
"I am fine"
How many times had he told us this bold lie into our faces and we had actually
believed it. How many times had he fooled us with it.
Or maybe that he hadn't fooled us at all.
Maybe just like now we would have seen it if only we would have looked.
And it actually hurt.
Despite my protest I had always believed him to be my friend. And I know that I
wasn't the only one. There were Mark, Dr. Weaver, Deb, Dave, Abby and even
Luka.
Yet all of us missed the signs.
Till it was too late.
Till he stood in front of us with eyes that spoke in disbelieve. With eyes that
shown in hurt. And I saw that he had stopped believing that we cared.
All he seemed to feel at this moment was cornered.
So why should he believe any of us when they said that they wanted only his best.
And that they were his friends.
They didn't understand that all those month weren't that easy to undo. That Carter
needed more that this ultimatum that they given him.
He needed someone to tell him.
And that was why I followed him out of the room and onto the street.
To talk with him. To show him that, when no one else , at least I still cared what
happened to him. Because I knew that without this we would loose him.
Without a doubt.
For certain.
*~*~*~*
I knew that I had won part of the battle when I closed my arms around him.
Holding him tight as he cried out the pain that must have been building since long.
I was whispering nonsense to him. Kissed his head as I held him even tighter. He
needed it.
It was his only chance.
The only he had left in his life.
After what felt like a long time he stopped crying.
But I didn't let go and neither did it feel like he wanted me too.
I once had been were he was. Looking at my life my medical degree as it I didn't
care. And I hadn't. After Gant had died it had been as of someone had pulled a
smokescreen over my mind. Knowing that it had been my fault I no longer cared
what happened to me. I almost destroyed myself back then. If there hadn't been
for two certain young man to pull my back I wouldn't have known as how I would
I have ended.
One of them was Reese.
And the other was Carter.
And now today I had to be the one. To pull *him* back from the abyss that he was
running straight into.
"Dr. Benton" at first I almost didn't hear his whisper. And he looked into my eyes
I took this as my clue to let him go. For a moment he couldn't meet my eyes. As if
he felt embarrassed about breaking down like this. "I am s…"
"Carter…if I say you are sorry. I swear to good I will kick your ass too Atlanta."
He ducked his head "I am…I mean…I...okay."
I ruffled his hair in affection.
"Then we better get to the airport and catch that plane of yours." In the corner of
my eyes I could see him look at me in surprise.
"You come to the airport with me?"
Actually that had been what I had planned. But when he looked at me I knew that
it wouldn't be enough.
"Actually I am coming with you to Atlanta."
For a moment the of affection was all too clear.
But it darkened when apparently another thought came up. "You know. You don't
have to go with me. I will go to that Centre. You don't have to make sure that I
do."
I smiled.
"I am going with you because I can see that you need someone at your side."
"Bu…"
"Because I can see that you need a friend."
That shut him up for sure as I again saw a glimmer start in his eyes. But this time
was able to blink it away.
"Are you?"
"What?"
"My friend. I worked so hard for you to accept me as a friend. I can't believe that
you are now. Not after I screwed up so badly."
"Carter. I have been you friend for a long time. There just was never the right
moment to say it out loud. And I actually thought you knew."
"I didn't know. I only thought sometimes that I imagined it."
"No never."
*~*~*~*
It was almost lunchtime when we finally arrived at the clinic. He was nervous and
hurting. Not the best situation to be in. But hopefully things would turn out better
for him soon.
As they showed him around his new home for the next time. I spent the time
talking with his doctors. Giving them my number. Telling them about his injury.
So that there might be a way to figure out getting him thought this without too
much pain.
And then the time of departure had come.
He stood in front of me as if everything he could think of wasn't what he wanted
to say.
"I will be at the airport when you come back."
"Thanks"
"Will you be okay?" I asked
"I am fine." He said it almost aside.
So like before he lied. But this time it was different. Because this time I could see
through it. I saw the way he looked.
I saw him.
"No you are not"
He looked at me shocked but quickly calmed down when I continued.
"But you will be Carter. You will be."
And with that I left him behind. Knowing that he know that he wasn't *left
behind*.
Not anymore and never again.
The END's
Hope you enjoyed it. Happy about reviews to tell me what I done right or wrong.
More stories to follow ;)
posting a story:
Title: The Day it fell apart
Author: Strange Music
Pairing: Friendship Benton/Carter
Rating: PG
Summary: Thought the episode there was one thing I recognized
the most. Carter is a terrible liar. Benton POV of some of the
events taking place on MayDay
Email: Strange_music@hotmail.com
Web Page: Pushed back even further because I don't know if I
will stay with the current one (Thank you SO much Homestead
for starting to charge you costumer)
Disclaimer: The characters and events taking place in this story
belong to they respective owner and not to me.
Warnings: Spoiler for the End of May Day
.:/Can you keep your head
.:/Your backbone or your heart
.:/You'll all find out the answer
.:/on the it fell apart
"The day it fell appart" by Leslie Fish
The Day it fell apart
By Strange Music
He is a terrible liar.
I have known that ever since I met him.
If not the worst liar that I ever known that at least a pretty close runner to it.
Ever since I started working with him I knew that I would always know the truth.
That I would always know everything I needed to know about him.
All that I would have to do was ask him.
And when he would answer I would know.
If he would answer truthfully I would know.
And if he would try and lie I would know too.
Cause I would be able to see when he would lie.
Because the things is that he just wasn't able to lie and would give himself away
whenever he tried to. Funnily he actually thought that he could lie. That his unsure
stutter his flickering guilty gaze and his wrenching hands wouldn't tip of even a
blind person.
So it wasn't a surprise when Abby knew that something had been going on when
she went back into the room.
So it wasn't a surprise when both Dr. Weaver and Mark could see it when he
denied it.
And it wasn't a surprise to me when I was able to see it on his face as he looked at
us. No matter the words I could see that it wasn't the truth.
All this wasn't a surprise.
The actually surprise was something else.
The realisation that as lousy liar as he was he still had us fooled ever since he
gotten back too work.
"I am fine"
How many times had he told us this bold lie into our faces and we had actually
believed it. How many times had he fooled us with it.
Or maybe that he hadn't fooled us at all.
Maybe just like now we would have seen it if only we would have looked.
And it actually hurt.
Despite my protest I had always believed him to be my friend. And I know that I
wasn't the only one. There were Mark, Dr. Weaver, Deb, Dave, Abby and even
Luka.
Yet all of us missed the signs.
Till it was too late.
Till he stood in front of us with eyes that spoke in disbelieve. With eyes that
shown in hurt. And I saw that he had stopped believing that we cared.
All he seemed to feel at this moment was cornered.
So why should he believe any of us when they said that they wanted only his best.
And that they were his friends.
They didn't understand that all those month weren't that easy to undo. That Carter
needed more that this ultimatum that they given him.
He needed someone to tell him.
And that was why I followed him out of the room and onto the street.
To talk with him. To show him that, when no one else , at least I still cared what
happened to him. Because I knew that without this we would loose him.
Without a doubt.
For certain.
*~*~*~*
I knew that I had won part of the battle when I closed my arms around him.
Holding him tight as he cried out the pain that must have been building since long.
I was whispering nonsense to him. Kissed his head as I held him even tighter. He
needed it.
It was his only chance.
The only he had left in his life.
After what felt like a long time he stopped crying.
But I didn't let go and neither did it feel like he wanted me too.
I once had been were he was. Looking at my life my medical degree as it I didn't
care. And I hadn't. After Gant had died it had been as of someone had pulled a
smokescreen over my mind. Knowing that it had been my fault I no longer cared
what happened to me. I almost destroyed myself back then. If there hadn't been
for two certain young man to pull my back I wouldn't have known as how I would
I have ended.
One of them was Reese.
And the other was Carter.
And now today I had to be the one. To pull *him* back from the abyss that he was
running straight into.
"Dr. Benton" at first I almost didn't hear his whisper. And he looked into my eyes
I took this as my clue to let him go. For a moment he couldn't meet my eyes. As if
he felt embarrassed about breaking down like this. "I am s…"
"Carter…if I say you are sorry. I swear to good I will kick your ass too Atlanta."
He ducked his head "I am…I mean…I...okay."
I ruffled his hair in affection.
"Then we better get to the airport and catch that plane of yours." In the corner of
my eyes I could see him look at me in surprise.
"You come to the airport with me?"
Actually that had been what I had planned. But when he looked at me I knew that
it wouldn't be enough.
"Actually I am coming with you to Atlanta."
For a moment the of affection was all too clear.
But it darkened when apparently another thought came up. "You know. You don't
have to go with me. I will go to that Centre. You don't have to make sure that I
do."
I smiled.
"I am going with you because I can see that you need someone at your side."
"Bu…"
"Because I can see that you need a friend."
That shut him up for sure as I again saw a glimmer start in his eyes. But this time
was able to blink it away.
"Are you?"
"What?"
"My friend. I worked so hard for you to accept me as a friend. I can't believe that
you are now. Not after I screwed up so badly."
"Carter. I have been you friend for a long time. There just was never the right
moment to say it out loud. And I actually thought you knew."
"I didn't know. I only thought sometimes that I imagined it."
"No never."
*~*~*~*
It was almost lunchtime when we finally arrived at the clinic. He was nervous and
hurting. Not the best situation to be in. But hopefully things would turn out better
for him soon.
As they showed him around his new home for the next time. I spent the time
talking with his doctors. Giving them my number. Telling them about his injury.
So that there might be a way to figure out getting him thought this without too
much pain.
And then the time of departure had come.
He stood in front of me as if everything he could think of wasn't what he wanted
to say.
"I will be at the airport when you come back."
"Thanks"
"Will you be okay?" I asked
"I am fine." He said it almost aside.
So like before he lied. But this time it was different. Because this time I could see
through it. I saw the way he looked.
I saw him.
"No you are not"
He looked at me shocked but quickly calmed down when I continued.
"But you will be Carter. You will be."
And with that I left him behind. Knowing that he know that he wasn't *left
behind*.
Not anymore and never again.
The END's
Hope you enjoyed it. Happy about reviews to tell me what I done right or wrong.
More stories to follow ;)