Chapter Five
Energy Feeds
By Raven Dancer
rating: PG
disclaimer: All characters belong to J.K. Rowling except for the Drs. Barnes. I receive no monetary compensation for these works.
Summary: Energy Feeds.
He woke to smells. Good smells. Food smells. Dumbledore had left, but Lupin was still there quietly talking to him, running a hand up and down his back. HeL felt so relaxed, it felt so warm and utterly comfortable. Something was nagging at him, but he ignored that little querulous voice and floated along with Lupin's voice instead.
Finally he opened his eyes.
"Well, good morning Severus," Lupin sounded pleased.
"Although it is nearly afternoon." The hand continued the rub, up and down, soothing. There was sunlight playing across the quilt; he glanced at the windows then back at Lupin's cheerful face.
"You're too damned bright," the little querulous voice won out. Snape closed his eyes.
"Oh, it's worse than that, Sev," Lupin continued jovially, pulling the limp Potions Master up into sitting against him.
"I'm downright chipper. And Dobby has breakfast for you!"
Snape swore Lupin was using that singsong voice on purpose, although what the purpose was escaped him for the moment.
"Professor Snape is hungry?" He slit open his eyes into the house elf's.
"Dobby has favorite breakfast for Professor Snape."
It was torture. They were tag teaming him with kindness. Ewwww. Where had he failed? How did they slip in under his barriers? When did he let his facade down?
Oh.
Right.
Memory flashed into place and he remembered with great reluctance all the awful curses he had been hit with. Especially the last set; they had been particularly nasty. He reflexively clutched Lupin's shirt and pulled tight against him away from the memories.
Finally he opened his eyes again and looked at both his companions.
"Good morning Remus, Dobby," he ground out, voice raspy with lessening tension.
He was rewarded immediately with warm blackberry tea, his favorite. He sipped and swallowed gratefully. Then the elf, perched on his and Lupin's knees, proceeded to feed him mushroom omelette, toast, jam and sliced melon. It really was his favorite, down to the strawberry jam. Not that he could recall telling either of these two, or anyone else for that matter, what he liked. Although he had a sneaking suspicion Dumbledore would know.
While he was eating Lupin worked to keep him focused on his meal. His mind kept wandering off, most often to the idea of sleeping in that nice, warm hollow next to Lupin. But the Dark Arts Professor was insistent and, of all people, would know what was best to counteract the curses he had been under.
Snape further supposed it was quite comfortable being held; He had liked it when Dumbledore had held him before when he had been hurt, but he never mentioned that to the Headmaster. He liked being taken care of, with kind words and food. So he stomped the querulous voice to dust and gave into his companions, finishing his meal. Dobby quietly took all the debris away and he felt Lupin wipe his face clean.
The tone of Lupin's voice changed, more soothing, softer. The hand was back rubbing his shoulder and arm. He felt the man reclined him slightly in his arms, adjusting the covers so he was bundled up and warm. The sunlight danced on the quilts; his eyes felt heavy, so he let them close and peacefully dozed against Lupin's warmth for the best part of two hours.
The next time he was aware, not really fully awake, Dumbledore was coming into the room. He looked excruciatingly happy, too. Snape decided it was a conspiracy. Or they had been hit with multiple cheering charms. Yes, that was it; Flitwick probably went starkers and hit everyone in the castle. Or a first year's class went awry.
Gads! Why the hell was he analyzing all this tripe? He finally gave up and allowed himself to be bustled into the bathroom and into a soapy tub of steaming water. Oh wonders of wonders! There was a stupid yellow duck bobbing on the waves they created while scrubbing him. He batted it angrily away to the amusement of the others.
But the water felt good and the washcloths took away all the remaining clinging remnants of the curses. He stomped his querulous tormentor again and drowsed through the reassuring experience. By now he was used to Lupin's soft litanies and he turned his face to the voice.
Dumbledore was amazed over the change in his crotchety Potions Master. He had taken care of Snape when he was in worse shape than this and he hadn't relinquished himself at all. In fact, he had been snide and condescending and not very appreciative. Huh. Guess maybe he could learn something from Lupin, especially about bedside manner. He certainly had Snape wrapped around his little finger. Pliable and accepting.
Then again, Snape was on the verge of totally breaking down. That last visit with Voldemort had been more detrimental than helpful for Snape. He wondered what had happened. Snape had still been asleep when he and Pomfrey had gone to the Ministry the morning before. He'd definitely find out before the weekend was over.
Whether it had been Voldemort himself or another agent, Snape had been pretty harshly treated. Coupled with the hexes he'd received sometime on Thursday Snape's energy level had been substantially drained. Harry had noticed the weakening, too. Yet instead of going dark, which had been Dumbledore's great fear, he had accepted the light of Lupin and Harry. Allowed himself to be taken care of and loved. Dumbledore sighed, happy that he had to finally confide in Lupin. It had made all the difference in the world.
Bath done, Snape was dried and dressed in clean leggings and a sleep shirt. Lupin combed out his hair as Dumbledore held him, hands clutched his shirt once more and he smiled as Snape hid his face in his beard. Hair was pulled back and braided changing Snape's normally slouchy look. He was wrapped in a warm blanket and put on the couch, head pillowed in Dumbledore's lap. Lupin tucked a quilt over him to help retain heat.
"He's doing pretty good," Lupin ventured.
"Yes, another feed from Harry and he'll be able to make sense of all this," Dumbledore mused.
"I can now," Snape snorted at his companions, then slipped into the embrace of sleep.
"Oh, yes, Sev, you're all ready to referee a quidditch match," the headmaster chuckled.
Harry presented himself promptly at four. He was well rested and eager to see how Snape was doing. Dumbledore helped levitate and position the slumbering man so Harry could slowly feed him energy.
Lupin had Dobby bring in more tea and scones. He could not give much energy to Snape without compromising his own precarious health. The last transformation into a werewolf had been very difficult because the potion had been altered. It occurred to him that it was not a coincidence but carefully planned so that they would all be weak. Maybe Dumbledore wasn't paranoid. Maybe something was coming.
Dumbledore himself was tired from too much travel and stressed from multiple demands. He could give some energy, but he realized he was taking his frustration out on the Potions Master through the painful quick bursts and curtailing his friendship and support. He glanced at Lupin, wondering if they were thinking along the same lines.
Instead of voicing their concerns to Harry, the one who could give a lot of energy, they sat sipping tea and chatting.
"Energy feeds are interesting," Dumbledore said, "especially
with the sharing of energy signatures.
"Remus mentioned that 'life' energy passed, that part of each
individual was shared," Harry smiled as he felt Snape responding to the feed, curling closer to the boy.
"I didn't quite understand what you meant. Aren't I just
boosting Snape's energy by giving him mine?"
Lupin smiled, "You are boosting, adding to, his energies. But
each person's energy is unique. So your energy 'feels'
different to Snape than mine or Dumbledore's."
Harry was still slightly confused, and he pulled Snape onto his lap a bit more continuing to run his hand over his chest and arm.
Dumbledore smiled mischievously.
"Haven't you noticed you've been quite a bit more assertive
lately? That you are more focused, more intent, more willing
to stand up against anyone who questions you?"
That brought a bright smile of understanding to Harry's face.
"That would explain my desire for Hagrid's treacle fudge?" Snape spoke softly, a small smile on his own lips.
Harry had to snicker.
"Maybe," rejoined Lupin, "it also explains why you've been so tractable and accepting of help and affection, Severus." Snape attempted a sneer, but ended up arching into a slight surge as Harry stifled a laugh. Snape wrapped himself with his arms trying to control his erratic breathing.
"Careful, Harry," cautioned Lupin. "Slow the feed, it hurts
when it goes too fast."
Dumbledore moved swiftly to the couch and evened out the flow, adding his own energies to help regulate. He rubbed the length of Snape's stiffened back, whispering calming words.
For Harry it was amazing to "feel" Dumbledore. The power that seemed to roil in containment, the intense curiosity, spilled back through their linkage pulling his own energy out and then down into Snape. Dumbledore eased out of the feed as Harry slowed, but continued to rub his back until the Potions Master finally relaxed and rolled onto his back, regarding his mentor through hooded eyes. His skin had paled and Harry felt sorry he'd hurt the man.
"I don't feel well," Snape began, not in whiny complaint, but because he really didn't. Lupin joined Dumbledore and they moved him into the air, Lupin scootching Harry out of the way to replace him. Hands searched his torso, both men's faces lined in concentration.
"Here?" Lupin queried.
Dumbledore shifted and drew both their hands a little to the left,
"No, here," he responded. "Ready?"
"Yep"
Together they expelled the thoroughly entrenched curse. Harry watched as Snape's body arched in pain as the curse passed out of him into the room air. A truly vicious looking grey and dull red cloud, swirled above the twisting body. He hit it hard with a finitum curse, but the cloud pulsed almost mockingly above him. He hit it again, this time with a terminus. Then Lupin raised his wand and blew out a dissolving curse. Now the cloud shivered turning darker. Finally Dumbledore sent a more ambitious finitum terminus curse and it dissolved into shimmering sparks then vanished.
"I thought you said they'd be insidious, not indestructible," Harry said weakly.
Dumbledore just looked down at Snape as he lolled against Lupin's shoulder.
"You are not going to be left alone, Severus," he said firmly.
"Is that a threat?" the Potion Master slowly regained some control and burrowed tightly against Lupin.
"No, a promise," he said more softly, pulling sweaty hair out of his face.
Harry moved back onto the end of the couch and began feeding energy into Snape once more. Snape would not let go of Lupin, falling asleep still clutching his shirt. Each man was quietly thinking: Dumbledore brooding over the progression of curses, Lupin about the dangers to come, Harry about the tray of goodies and tea.
The interest in food seemed to finally win out as Harry sat back. Dumbledore smiled and proffered a cup of tea and the tray.
"Dobby will be bringing a more substantial tea in a few moments," he promised.
Harry stood and stretched before accepting the cup of tea. He picked over the plate before selecting a couple more sugary confections to dunk. He sat down happily munching the treat and slurping his drink.
Lupin carefully pulled Snape up higher on his shoulder and began to gently rock him, whispering in his ear. Snape turned more fully to Lupin quietly answering him. Neither Harry or Dumbledore could hear, but it seemed both men had finally put aside any old problems between them.
"So, when is tea coming?" Snape asked a little louder looking towards his Headmaster. Dumbledore smiled.
"Soon. Feeling better?"
"Yes," he glanced over at Harry.
"You don't really like Hagrid's treacle fudge, do you?"
Harry nearly spewed his tea, the ludicrous question caught him completely off guard. Dumbledore whacked him on the back dislodging slightly inhaled pastry.
"NO! I don't know anyone who really does," he finally managed.
"Good. I was a little worried ıabout you, Potter," Snape pushed himself upright onto the couch and off of Lupin's lap. He propped his head in his hands, elbows on knees. Lupin rested a hand on his back.
"Longbottom," said Dumbledore suddenly. "He likes Hagrid's fudge."
"He would," snorted Lupin, "just given that Grandmother of his." He shuddered at the thought. "I doubt he'd had anything sweet prior to coming to Hogwarts."
"Poor kid didn't know that sweetening agents could be used in the common home cures for allergies and such," Snape added. "Nearly flunked him out first year when Granger sent me a rather terse note about it."
"I don't recall you failing anyone that year, Sev," Dumbledore said surreptitiously glancing at the man who was arching slightly into Lupin's one-handed back rub.
"I'm a bastard, but I'm not heartless," he retorted with a sneer. Then he smiled broadly, "Oh, that felt goood!" he exclaimed, causing a ripple of laughter.
"Well, you get filled with Potter's good will and all; it would
drive a man to eat treacle fudge," he huffed.
Dobby bustled in setting out a full high tea. As Snape attempted to stand and walk over to the table his meager strength failed him. Lupin gracefully slid an arm around him as Harry caught his other arm.
"You're all thrilled about this, aren't you," he said sourly as they got him into a chair at the table.
"Thrilled? No. Worried? Yes," Dumbledore asserted.
"Just want you better, Severus," Harry said equitably. Snape sneered at the two of them.
"Oh, I don't know," interjected Lupin happily, tucking a napkin around the testy man's lap. "I think it's pretty cool!"
Snape glared at the man who now sat to his left playing with his silverware. Lupin looked up into Snape's eyes.
"I've wanted to be your friend ever since Sirius sent you into
the shrieking shack, Severus. When I realized you were just
as human as the rest of us. I just could never break through
your rather daunting personality."
The glare softened immediately as he ducked his head.
"Thank you, Remus," was all he could manage. Lupin smiled, gently touching his chin to get his attention.
"Welcome," he replied.
Food was passed around, both Harry and Lupin loaded Snape's plate while he snarled at them.
"You are feeling better, aren't you?" mused Dumbledore. He received a special sneer all his own.
The Headmaster watched Snape begin to eat, scanning his face for any adverse reactions. Snape was thoroughly enjoying the little sandwiches piled indecently high on his plate. Lupin had nudged a glass of juice in his direction and he smiled, momentarily forgetting to sulk. As he stretched his back he looked directly into Dumbledore's questing eyes. He held the gaze for a long moment.
"What?" he finally snapped.
"Just making sure everything is staying down," Dumbledore said pleasantly, spooning marmalade on the end of his scone. Snape glanced at his plate, then contemplated his stomach. Seemed ok. Shrugging, he continued eating.
"Dinner will be fun," Lupin smirked, "I'll bet he's too stuffed to eat."
"You go the week without keeping anything in over an hour," he flared back, "and see how you feel." The anger was back, flash of fire in his eyes. Dumbledore leaned back and sighed. Yep, the bastard's feeling better. He was about to resign himself to a rather unpleasant time when Snape suddenly dropped his face into his hands.
"Sorry, Remus. I, I just don't know how to handle all this
anymore." He was dangerously close to tears and fought against them. H∂e watched Lupin gently reach out to run a comforting hand over his back and Harry quickly put another on his shoulder. Snape pushed the food away from him and leaned back into the chair staring out of the windows ignoring everything.
Snape miserably wondered what he was going to do. How could he go back even if Voldemort called? How could he begin to explain to Dumbledore what happened in just one night to make a precarious situation completely untenable. He doubted his resolve. He was scared. He was ashamed.
Dumbledore waved both men back, giving Snape the distance he seemed to want. Deciding this might be more than Harry really needed to be exposed to at this time, he touched the young man's sleeve and motioned him to the door.
"Let Remus and I work with him awhile, Harry. You've done
your job for now. Tomorrow afternoon you can come visit
and see how he's doing, ok?" Trusting Dumbledore, Harry nodded and left.