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Crouching Tiger: Chapter 5
By Marissa
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Authors Note: Thanks to Anne, all past and future references I make to the GSG-9 will be changed to the BKA, the true "German version of the FBI". Thanks Anne for setting me straight!

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Mac placed the last sweater in her suitcase before closing the bag. In less than three hours she would be on a flight bound for Russia where, hopefully, she would find Harm. Now that she finally had a moment of calm, she realized that her car was still parked at the JAG headquarters.

Mac quickly dialed the Gunny. "JAG Headquarters, this is Gunnery Sargent Galindez."

"Gunny, its Mac."

"Colonel, I'm sorry about the Commander. We're all worried about you here."

Mac smiled. "Thanks Gunny. I just need to ask you a favor."

"Certain Ma'am. What can I do for you?"

"My car is still parked there at JAG and I need a ride to the airport. Is there any way you could come get me?"

"Where are you Colonel?"

"At my apartment," Mac replied.

"I'll be there in twenty minutes."

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Harm winced as the hot coffee slid down his sore throat. He was well into his fourth hour of "debriefing" and his constant talking had made his throat raw. His superiors were all very pleased with all the information he had managed to obtain, but Harm couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt. Here he was, spilling all the secrets that he had been entrusted with because people believed that he was trustworthy. Was it common to feel like a traitor Harm wondered?

"M?" It was Alex. "They're read for you again."

Harm nodded and followed Alex back to the conference room. There two senior agents sat waiting.

"M, please, have a seat." Harm did so. "X and I have conferred and we both feel that you have preformed exceptionally. We thank you for your service, but we both think that it would be best if you would consider leaving the RVS. However, we ask that you remain in Russia for the next two weeks in the event that we have any further questions."

So this is it, Harm thought, his life as a spy was over forever. Just like that. He wouldn't receive any sort of recognition for his work, just a polite "thank you for your service" and a plane ticket out of Russia as soon as possible. The RVS didn't like agents who knew too much hanging around.

In the events of the past few days Harm had had his life turned upside down and everything he had held dear taken away from him. Harm began to do the unthinkable; he began to regret his decision to become a spy. Here he had his whole life in front of him and nothing to do. At least his life as Harmon Rabb Jr. had a future.

"M? Do you understand?"

Harm snapped out of his thoughts only to realize that everyone stood staring and waiting for him to reply. "Yes. Yes I do."

"Very well. Dismissed."

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Mac looked up from her book and stared out the airplane window. She couldn't focus her thoughts on anything. She was nearly halfway over the Atlantic Ocean and on her way to London. From there it was off to Moscow. Thankfully Gunny hadn't asked too many questions when he dropped her off. He had confided in her that everyone back at the office was very worried about her. Mac knew that if they only knew where she was really going, they would be a lot more concerned.

Mac really didn't know how to expected to find Harm once she arrived in Russia. She knew the language and how to get around the city of Moscow, but her knowledge didn't go much further than that. It was really quite ridiculous what she expected to accomplish; finding a spy who had managed to elude everyone he'd ever met. What made it any different that it was she who was going? All of America was already looking for him, what could she possibly do? Mac shook her head to stop the doubt in her mind. Right now was the worst time to begin to regret her decision.

Mac waved to the flight attendant walking down the isle and ordered another coke. Harm, she thought, here I come.

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Harm sat on the balcony of the room that was provided for his for the duration of his stay in Russia and looked down at the wet street. Ever since Alex had dropped him off after his debriefing, he hadn't really left the apartment much in the four days he'd been there.

In all his time in America, Harm had never really given much thought to what would happen when he was no longer needed. Now that he was back, he had nothing *but* time to think. At the academy they had taught all young agents everything they needed to know to be a successful spy, but they never taught you what to do when your work was done. They had certainly never mentioned how lonely you could become. As a spy, you made friends with the knowledge that if something were to ever happen, you would never see them again. All of Harm's friends were back in America and even Alex had gone back to London. His friends from the academy were elsewhere in the world or dead.

He'd been gone from his homeland for so long that he now felt like an outsider.

In reality, he was Ivan Arkadeyevick, Agent M of the RVS, but in his heart he would always be Harmon Rabb Jr., a commander in the United States Navy. His life as Commander Rabb was the life he had always wanted, but could never had as a Russia citizen. Now that it was gone, Harm realized all the things that he had taken for granted while he was in America. He had to start all over now and it wasn't going to be easy.

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