Cool breeze and autumn leaves
Slow motion daylight.
A lone pair of watchful eyes
Oversee the living
Feel the presence all around
A tortured soul
A wound unhealing
No regrets or promises
The past is gone
But you can still be free
If time will set you free.
Savage Garden- If Time Will Set You Free
Fox Mulder sat alone, staring out the single window in his apartment. The computer screen in front of him gave off an ethereal glow, the only source of light in the growing darkness. He had been there for over an hour, simply staring, since he had arrived from Scully's apartment. He had recognized the look on her face after their shared kiss, and had retreated to give her the space he knew she needed. Now, he was locked in his apartment, gazing at the busy street beneath him.
As he watched the people scuttle about below, rushing to their homes before the impending rain broke, he became lost in thought. Each of those people had a place to go, whether to a bar, a friend's, or just simply home to a loving family. Mulder considered for a moment what it felt like to have a family. It had been so long, and the memories lay buried beneath a thick layer of dust. He carefully looked at each one, brushing the age from their surfaces, letting them overtake him and wash out the scene below.
The most prominent was the vision of Sam's abduction. He fought back more tears as the memory of that fateful night played through his mind. He could feel the fear overtake him once more, and hear Sam's frightened scream. He searched for his father's gun, but the weapon was useless. The fear had claimed him, held him paralyzed as he watched Sam float out the window, trapped in that eerie light…
Mulder shook himself, trying to leave the memory behind. It would not completely fade, however, and left him with trances of the guilt that had plagued him for so many years. His sister was safe now, taken from the mortal realm and placed in one of eternal peace, lost to the starlight. But no matter how many times he told himself that, Mulder knew he would always feel responsible for Sam's disappearance. Even the passage of time had not aided in easing the pain and guilt he felt.
His mind drifted back to the memories, to the time that had changed his life. Mulder's parents began fighting, blaming their son and each other for the disappearance of their daughter. The family he had known was dead; their happiness traded for government secrets and conspiracies. He had no one, now, except for Scully and her miracle.
Once more, Mulder's gaze found itself trained on the people below. They were fewer in number, now, as the rain began to fall in a light sheet upon the earth.
He simply sat there, thinking over the last two decades of his life. Mulder had dedicated himself to a quest, a search for his own, personal grail. He had met many along the way, and most of them had either left him or died. There was only one person in his life that he had learned to rely upon, one person that he could count on seeing every morning, just as he had for the past eight years.
Dana Scully had stayed by his side. She had not laughed on that dreary night in Oregon, while on their first case, when he had told her of his quest. Nor had she turned away, like so many others had. Instead of mocking the idea of Sam's abduction, Scully had remained silent, letting him tell his tale. Now, eight years later, she still listened to his outlandish theories, and she respected him in a way that no one ever had before.
In a way, Scully reminded him of Sam. His sister had never been interested in the paranormal, like he had. Just like Scully, who to this day, despite all they had been through in the X-Files, still tried to find logical explanations. For the first time in what seemed like days, a smile crept onto his lips.
The people outside his window had vanished, and the light rain he had observed earlier had become more relentless in its descent. It pounded the earth, washing away the dust, carrying debris and dirt in its clutches as it disappeared into the gutters that lined the drenched street. There was something calming in the rain, Mulder realized. It washed away the impurities, leaving behind something cleaner, newer, in its wake.
He closed his eyes, letting the sound of the rain on his window wash over his tired soul. Somewhere during the eight years of their partnership, Mulder had fallen in love with Scully. Though he could not place the moment he had first realized it, he knew that he had loved her for years now. But every time he thought of making his feelings known, something had happened, and he pushed himself away. Mulder had always feared losing Scully like he had lost Samantha, and he desperately tried to protect his partner from that fate. Once, he thought he had lost her, when Duane Barry had taken her. She had come back, though, and Mulder had sworn to prevent it from ever happening again.
That's why he and Skinner had entered the woods the night of his own abduction. He had been intent upon distracting the aliens away from Scully, and his plan had worked, to some extent at least.
Mulder shuddered at the memories of the tests, and his hands traced his cheeks. Even though the scars had healed, the memory of the experiments conducted on him would remain forever.
Scully had never given up on him, just like he had never given up on her or his sister. She had thrown aside her science long enough to bring him back from the brink, an act Mulder knew must have been hard for her. For this and more, he admired her above all others, and his love for her had been strengthened over the past month since his return.
Now, after the birth of their child, Mulder realized that he could no longer hide his feelings from Scully. His previous notions had been shattered, and Mulder knew that if something did happen to either one of them, the greatest pain would lie in never having said those three words. So finally, Mulder had summoned the courage to reveal the truth. He had indeed meant to tell her earlier, when he arrived at her apartment, but William had distracted him. The boy was the most beautiful sight his eyes had ever taken in, and his mind had played with thoughts of fatherhood. As he held the tiny miracle in his arms, with the mother, the woman he loved, barely a few feet in front of him, the words had pored out. And then, he had leaned forward, and his world had exploded into a million brilliant pieces.
And then she had kissed him back…
Another smile graced his lips, and Mulder's attention turned to a solitary figure below his window. Someone had decided to brave the rain, and recognition slowly dawned on him as he caught sight of red hair. It was Scully, with a bundled up William in her arms.
He raced to his door, then out into the hallway toward the elevator. As he watched the numbers ascend, Mulder wondered what she was doing out in this rain, especially with William. As the moments passed, he became worried. What if 'they' were after her, or William? What if they were in danger?
The elevator reached the fourth floor, and Mulder nearly jumped when the doors opened before him. Inside was a dripping wet Scully, gently rocking a surprisingly dry baby in her arms.
"Scully, what's wrong?"
She looked up at him, her clear eyes drawing him in, inviting him to become lost in their depths. Confused, Mulder took in her peaceful smile, then moved aside as she exited the elevator.
"Scully? You're soaked, come inside and I'll get you something dr-"
He was interrupted as her mouth suddenly pressed against his in a passionate continuation of their earlier kiss. The world faded around them as they stood, pressed against each other in the hallway. Mulder lifted his arms and placed them around her, pulling her as close to his body as the baby between them would allow.
For that brief moment, locked in that eternal kiss, Mulder found his freedom. The memories had released him from his bondage and let him slip from their grasp, become lost in the tide of emotions that carried his soul away. He felt no fear, no pain resurfacing now. He was finally free, and he was no longer alone.