God Only Knows
Part 2
by: Pandora
PART: (2/?)
PAIRING: Spike/Buffy
DISCLAIMER: Joss and other people own all.
DISTRIBUTION: Those who already have my permission, feel free. Anyone else, please let me know.
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: Anything up to and including "The Body" is fair game, but nothing after that ep happens in this story.
REVIEW: I live for it! grin
SUMMARY: Buffy is trapped inside prophetic dreams. Spike and Dawn call Willow to help them get her out.
DEDICATION: This part goes out to Trish for beta-reading this so quickly. Girl, you are just awesome! (BTW, any mistakes made are mine, but you all knew that already, didn't you? grin) Also to Lea, who reminded me that I didn't add the chains to the first part. How could I forget? sigh But, Lea, I remembered this time, thanks to you... LOL
THANKS: To all the wonderful people who sent me feedback on the first part of this story and to the entire One Good Day crew! There's something special in this part for all of you. I'm sure you'll know it when you see it! LOL
God Only Knows
Part 2
While they waited for Willow to arrive, Spike and Dawn sat on the bed, one on each side of Buffy. Spike looked down at the woman he loved and felt a sharp pain at his realization that she did feel something for him, but that she was trapped in her nightmares and might not be able to fulfill the promise he had seen in her eyes. He felt his stomach clench at the thought. He looked at Dawn and could see that she was deep in thought also. He wondered what was going through her mind, and knew that she was feeling tremendous pain if she felt similar to him.
Dawn looked down at her sister, and had to keep herself from sniffling. She had realized how much Buffy meant to her, and how much she depended on her sister. The Slayer had been having a hard time of it, with her life in general. People looked at her life like she was lucky to have been endowed with supernatural strength, but Dawn knew differently. She knew that Buffy had been burdened by her fate. She had seen the results firsthand. She'd seen the changes her sister had gone through. Yes, she was probably a better person because of it, but she had to sacrifice so much innocence as a result of what had been forced upon her by others.
The world had changed for Buffy from the moment she was called. It had become a drastically different place. So many things she had looked forward to while growing up were now gone. Dawn remembered watching Buffy dance in front of her mirror with a pillowcase draped over her head as a veil, pretending to be a bride. Her sister had done what most girls did while they were growing up. She had fantasized about her wedding, about being married to a great guy, and someday having kids. This was stuff that Dawn had dreamed of for herself, too, but for her it was still possible. For Buffy, it was highly unlikely that her lifestyle would allow any of those things to happen. As a slayer, her lifespan was very short, so it didn't leave much room for living a life outside of her calling. She couldn't leave her job. Her job followed her.
Even if she could somehow have found a normal guy who was NOT threatened by her strength and was able to marry him, she still would have had a hard time carrying a baby to term. And she would have been terrified that something would happen to her baby while she was patrolling. It's not like the COW would give her maternity leave or anything. Shoot, they didn't even pay her. So, it wasn't like she would be able to stop slaying if she became pregnant. And real life was like not on Xena, where the cumbersomely pregnant Xena jumped up into the air at nine months, fought evildoers the entire time, and delivered a healthy baby. In fact, not even three or four months ago when a vamp caught Buffy unawares, he was able to stab her in her stomach with a stake. If Riley hadn't shown up, the vamp would most likely have killed the Slayer and if she had been pregnant, the baby in all likelihood would not have survived such a blow. Her sister had been dealt a tough hand and had handled it pretty well, but she had lost a lot in the bargain. Dawn couldn't lose her sister. Her sister was her hero. Dawn looked up from her thoughts and wondered what was going through Spike's mind. So many emotions kept flitting across his face.
As Spike sat there next to Buffy, her head was turned toward his position on the bed. His hand kept straying down to touch her. He needed that contact with her. He had never been so close to her, and he was not thinking about physical closeness. He was thinking about what she had told him. She sounded as if she had loved him and lost him in her dreams. When she had opened her eyes, she drank in the sight of him. He could feel her opening herself up to him. He had never been so close and yet so far at the same time. She was ready to let him in, to give him a chance, but something or someone was holding her back from him. The world was a cruel place at times, and he, himself, had been the cause of much of that cruelty, but this situation was beyond cruel. Buffy had been through so much already, and she was clearly in a lot of pain and very afraid. It just was not fair. They were taking her from him before he even got her!
While they were both deep in their thoughts, the doorbell rang. Dawn jumped up. "It's Willow! You stay here with Buffy and I'll go let her in. Besides, she might stake you if she sees you answer the door," she said, grinning at Spike as she ran out the door to head down the stairs.
Upon opening the door and letting Willow in, she told her sister's friend that Buffy was up in her bedroom and that she would explain everything up there. She then grabbed the witch's hand and practically pulled her up the stairs in her hurry to get back to Buffy's room. As she pulled Willow through the doorway, she heard the redhead gasp, and turned to see the witch looking at Spike with a dumbfounded expression on her face.
"Uhh... Spike is sitting on Buffy's bed. Spike is sitting on Buffy's bed right next to Buffy AND he is touching her face! Dawnie, why is Spike in Buffy's room? This is SO not good!" Willow babbled on.
"Willow, calm down, please." Dawn tried to forestall the coming eruption she could see forming on the witch's lips. "We'll tell you everything. Just sit down here, k?"
redhead, still looking confused, seated herself in the chair by Buffy's bed -- on the opposite side from Spike, of course. Dawn and Spike relayed everything that had happened that night and Dawn explained the previous two nights. As soon as they were finished, the redhead looked at both of them, took a deep breath and then spoke.
"So, let me get this straight. Buffy's been having very bad dreams or nightmares for the past three nights. You were able to wake her up every night except tonight," she said while looking at Dawn. "And when she woke up, she couldn't remember what she had dreamed? Am I getting this right?" She looked at both of them and they nodded to show her that she was on the right track.
"Okay, then tonight comes and she's dreaming even deeper than before, she's screaming Spike's name, and you can't wake her up. You panic and are about to call me, but there's a knock on the door and Spike is CONVENIENTLY outside." She turned to look at Spike and addressed him straight off. "Well, that begs the question. What were you doing out there, Spike? Have you taken up full-time stalking as a way to get Buffy?"
"Look, Red. I don't expect ya t' understand what I feel for the Slayer. In fact, it's not really any of your bloody concern. You lot have made her feel guilty for too much, for too long. Do any of you even realize how lonely she's been? Well, I do!" Spike was nearly shouting at this point. He couldn't defend himself in any way that would make his actions acceptable to her or any of the Scoobies. Damn it all! Hadn't they all done the same thing at one time or another? Hadn't they followed the objects of their affections? But in his case, it was different. Not only did he love the Slayer to death, but he knew how low she was at this point. She had recently lost her mother and been given the responsibility of raising a fourteen year old girl. Her wanker of a boyfriend had given himself over to being sucked on because he was too much of a wuss to just make a clean break and find a woman who could actually love him. These things alone were enough to break many people, but she still had to save the world on a daily basis. He had seen her at moments that none of the others had because she had to be strong for them. He had to watch her, not only because he had to see her, to be at least a small part of her life, but he had to be there to help her in case she needed him. He couldn't allow her to be killed. He just couldn't! But how could he explain this to Willow? He didn't know, but he was going to try his best.
"I LOVE HER! I love her more than anythin' in my goddamned unlife. She brings the light into my darkness. She gives me a reason to exist. Sometimes I'm around just so I can see her, even though she doesn't want me there. And one other thing--" he looked directly into the witch's eyes. "I feel this need t' be around her, t' make sure she's okay, t' be there if she needs help. Just in case one of those baddies out there has that One Good Day. I want my Slayer t' live a long life, even if she won't have me. I couldn't bear it if she died..." his voice trailed off and his eyes dropped.
There was a stunned silence in the room for a few minutes following Spike's declaration of his feelings for Buffy during which he continued to caress Buffy's face. Even a blind person could see the palpable feelings for the Slayer that flowed from his body. Willow was forced to acknowledge his feelings as real. She got up from her seat on the chair, walked around the bed, and reached out to touch his shoulder. He looked up at her with an expected look of rejection on his face and waited to hear what she would say.
"Spike, I believe you. I don't know how Buffy feels, but if she wants to be with you, I will have her back. But..." she looked at him with a mock glare. "But, if you hurt her, I WILL have your head. LITERALLY!"
Spike grinned at her, his relief evident in the way his shoulders relaxed. "Well, Red. If I hurt her, you won't have t' do that. I'll do it myself. And considerin' how fond I am of my head, that should let you know how little I plan t' hurt her. If she'll have me, I'll do my best t' make her the happiest woman on earth." He turned back to Buffy and brushed her hair away from her face again and Willow saw the Slayer lean toward his hand.
"I see what you mean, Dawn," she said while looking at Dawn. "Buffy does respond to him and you said that when he kissed her before that she woke up."
"Have you kissed her since?" she addressed Spike.
"Yeah, I kissed her before I went downstairs to help Dawn find the CD. She didn't wake up," he answered despondently.
"Okay, well, try kissing her again." Willow told Spike. "I never thought I'd actually get to see 'Sleeping Beauty' acted out!" she excitedly told Dawn.
"Well, what are you waiting for?" she asked him when he hadn't complied with her order.
"Sod it all! This is awkward. It was bad enough havin' t' perform with Nibblet here, but now..."
"Okay, Spike. Put your delicate sensibilities aside for a moment." The witch told him with exasperation evident in her tone. "Shoot, if it would help her, I'd KISS her! Now, just do it! It's not like we're asking you to take off your clothes and do the naked Snoopy dance..." she giggled at the thought of that image. "C'mon-- you're the one who chained her up! Remember that?" she said, trying to make him see that if he could do something like that, this was no big deal. "We've already decided that you're Prince Charming in this story. Now kiss the poor girl and wake her up!"
Spike had the decency to look ashamed at being reminded of what he had done to Buffy the night his world fell apart. He realized that it was no big deal for him to kiss her this way, he had already done it anyway. Besides, if Buffy had been awake, he would have relished the thought of driving her stick-in-the-mud friends crazy by kissing her in front of them at every opportunity. He turned to his golden girl, put his hands on both sides of her face, leaned down and place his lips tenderly on hers. She tasted so amazing. He was in awe at the power she held over him.
As he kissed her, the same thing happened as before. She started to kiss him back with even more passion than the previous time. She clutched at him as if he was a lifeline, but she didn't wake up this time. When he saw she wasn't waking, he looked at Dawn and Willow with sorrow evident in his eyes.
"How do we get her back?" he spoke the question that was plaguing them all. He saw Willow's eyelids flutter as if she was coming to a conclusion. He waited in anticipation to hear what she had come up with.
"I know what we can do. It's dangerous, but it's the only way we can find out what's happening in her dream." Her eyes danced with excitement. "I've been researching new spells and there's one I've been wanting to try. It has to do with dreams. I can do a spell that will put a person into Buffy's dream. Spike, you're the obvious choice. Are you willing to do that? Like I said, it could be dangerous."
Both Dawn and Willow watched Spike to see his reaction. He looked at them in stupefaction, like he couldn't believe they even wondered whether he would do it. "Sod it all, you two! I will do anythin' t' get my Slayer back. What do we need to do?"
"Okay, Dawn. Can you find something comfortable for Spike to change into? Do you have any of your dad's clothes here? Sweats or something?" Dawn nodded and headed out to get them. "Spike, as soon as she gets back here, you need to change." Spike nodded his head at her instructions, took the clothes that Buffy's little sister handed to him when she returned and headed to the bathroom to change. It only took a moment and he came back in wearing nothing but a pair of sweat pants that hung low on his hips. He hadn't bothered to put on the shirt she had brought him. He looked at Willow expectantly.
"Okay, Spike. This is what will happen. I am going to cast a spell that will allow you to enter Buffy's dream. I'm not sure what will happen at that point. I don't know if you will be able to interact with her or not, but it's important that you don't try to do anything dangerous. I don't know if it's actually true that you can die if killed in your dreams, but according to Freddy Krueger, it is!" She grinned at her little joke while Dawn groaned.
"Anyway, you need to pay close attention to what you see, so that you can describe it to us when you get out. If you need to get out for some reason, I will put a purple ribbon up that you can pull and I will then reverse the spell. Do you understand that?" Spike nodded his understanding. "All right, now, you need to lie down next to Buffy and put your arms around her. The closer you are, the closer the connection will be."
Spike complied by lying down and pulling Buffy into his arms. He was overwhelmed at the feelings this brought out in him and hoped that they could bring her out of this dreamworld so he would have a chance to do this for real someday. The Slayer turned and snuggled closer to him, nestling her head on his shoulder in the crook of his neck. He had never felt such peace before. He looked at Willow to indicate that he was ready and she started to chant.
It felt weird at first. Kind of like he was under the influence of hallucinogens. Then he felt like he was falling, as if he was trapped inside a tornado, only the air was going down. Suddenly the sensation stopped and he was in what could only be described as an alternate universe. The colors were vivid in areas, much more vivid than in real life. He looked around to see if he could recognize anything and then he heard a familiar tune. The Beach Boys were singing 'God Only Knows'. He tried to determine where the sound was coming from, but it was on all sides of him. He walked around a bit until he heard someone crying. Crying as if her heart was broken. Then he saw her. He saw Buffy crumpled down on the ground with her clothes ripped to shreds, holding onto his duster. She kept calling out his name. As he got closer, she looked up and he could see the tears falling down her face. She saw him and gasped, "Spike, how are you here? You... you.. you.. you're.. you're.. you're.. DEAD! How did you get back? Are you a ghost?" She turned her head and began shouting at the sky. "Oh God, why are you doing this to me? Why? I loved him. I know I took too long to admit it. Please don't make me suffer any more. Please! Give him back to me."
Spike realized from this reaction that Buffy could see him so he tried to speak to her. "Buffy, what is goin' on? What the bloody hell happened here?" He got no further than that when the ground began shaking.
She looked at him in fear and said, "It's happening again. Everyone will die because I didn't choose the right man in time. It's all my fault. All my fault."
As she spoke he saw the Magic Box suddenly appear in front of them. The door opened and the entire gang spilled out onto the street. Fear was evident on all of their faces. Dawn saw Buffy crying in the road and rushed over to her, but before she could get there, the ground opened up and swallowed her. The Slayer screamed in terror at seeing her sister taken. Then from another opening creatures such as he had never seen before spilled forth. It took only moments for the entire Scooby gang to be dispatched along with any other unfortunates that happened to be on the street at the same time. He could only wonder at this display when suddenly it all went quiet again. He glanced around and saw that they were by his crypt now. He saw the door opening and saw himself coming out, then everything went black---

~~TBC