God Only Knows - 3
God Only Knows
Part 3
by: Pandora

PAIRING: Spike/Buffy
DISCLAIMER: Joss and other people own all. DISTRIBUTION: Those who already have my permission, feel free. Anyone else, please let me know.
RATING: R It has a couple of curse words in it, but that's all.
SPOILERS: Anything up to and including "The Body" is fair game, but nothing after that ep happens in this story.
REVIEW: I live for it! grin
SUMMARY: Spike is in Buffy's dream. He sees and hears everything that is going on, and tries to find clues to help Buffy get out.
DEDICATION: To Jessa, the Quote Queen, for coming to my rescue and giving me the Spike quote that is used in this part. She is just the best at this stuff! To Trish for being the amazing beta on this story and leaving comments that always make me smile. grin
God Only Knows
Part 3

It was only black for a second, and then Spike saw what was happening before him. He saw himself slamming the door of his crypt, muttering to himself. He couldn't catch everything, but it sounded like, "Bloody wanker peaches! Why can't he just stay in LA and cause them pain? He bloody well has t' ruin everythin' for me..."
Spike followed his dream self as he walked out of the graveyard, heading in the direction of Buffy's house. He assumed he couldn't be seen in this part of the dream, because the Dream Spike had walked right past him. He hurried to keep up with his counterpart. As they walked along, side by side, the Dream Spike kept muttering to himself. Spike listened to every word, because he figured there might be some useful information in the dream guy's words.
"Bloody hell! Damn bint Drusilla! She had to run tell brood boy that I love the Slayer! Sod it all! Now, I have no chance. Well, it's not like I had a chance before really, but... Oh! Damn it all! Now, the bloody poof will be tellin' Buffy t' stay away from me, that he loves her and can't live without her. How can I compete with that? Damn it all! She smiled at me at the Bronze last night. I know I didn't imagine it. She would've talked t' me if the damn Scoobies hadn't been there. I could see it in her eyes. Some kind of appreciation for me and.. and... lust. Yes, definitely lust!"
They had almost reached Buffy's house when he finally stopped talking. Both Spikes groaned at the same time when they saw Angel's car parked in the Slayer's driveway. "Great. The A-hole's already here. This should be fun. About as fun as taking a bath in holy water. Now, I get t' be lectured by my ponce of a grandsire. Oh, lucky me." Dream Spike showed his feelings for Angel clearly and Spike couldn't help but agree with him.
They both bounded up the steps and Dream Spike knocked on the door, which was answered instantly by Dawn. She stepped outside, quickly pulling the door shut behind her. "Hey, Spike. Angel's here."
"Yeah, I know lil bit. The poof sent a message t' me that told me t' meet him here."
"Well, he's really mad! He keeps saying things to Buffy like he blames her for your feelings. He acts like she's been making moves on you. So, he's not just mad at you..."
"Bloody hell! Stupid ponce. He should know she'd never look at me. How dare he blame her! Let me in so I can tear his head off!"
"Spike, calm down. If you go in there all mad, he'll be ahead of you. Don't let him get to you! C'mon, Buffy needs a guy with life.. LIKE.. YOU, not a dead-head like him!"
At her words, the Dream Spike nodded his head to show he understood and motioned for her to open the door. Spike always knew that he liked the Nibblet for some reason.
When they slipped into the hallway, they both heard Angel harping on in the kitchen. They groaned in unison. This was really not going to be fun. All three halted to eavesdrop for a bit when Angel made an interesting comment.
"Buffy, I left you so you could have a normal life, so you could have a man who could give you everything, including children."
"How selfless of you, Angel!" Buffy bitterly responded to his words. She looked at him with deep hurt shooting from her eyes, and even though the three in the hallway couldn't see her expression, they could feel her pain by the sound of her voice. "Do you have any idea how much pain you caused me that day? You destroyed me. I felt as if you had stomped on my heart. And for what? To give me a normal life?" She laughed bitterly at this. "Well, that worked out well, didn't it? My 'normal' boyfriend couldn't handle that I am stronger than he is. He couldn't handle that he wasn't ALWAYS the center of my universe. So, what did he do? He paid vampire 'ho's to suck on him because he felt they 'needed' him. How ridiculous is that? He cheated on me and then had the nerve to lay a guilt trip on me. As if it was my fault that he was too much of a coward to face up to his inadequacies as a man! Yeah.. normal worked out fine for me..." she laughed again at these words, a laugh filled with pain.
"I'm sorry about that, Buffy, but I still feel you need to have a normal life---"
"What!? There is that word again. 'I' this, 'I' that, 'I' feel you should have a normal life. 'I' feel you shouldn't date him. 'I' do! Well, goddamn-it-all--- when do I, the actual 'I' here, get to have a say in 'MY' life!?" Buffy screamed at her first love, while the trio in the hall cheered her on.
That's my girl, both Spikes thought, while Dawn said beneath her breath, "Yeah, Buffy.. You go, girl!"
"Everyone is always telling me how I should feel, who I should love, who I should NOT love. At first the gang was all against you 'cause you are a vampire, even though you have a soul and they never let me forget it. Willow was more understanding than the rest, but still it was all, 'Buffy, you should date a normal guy. You should date so and so. blah, blah, blah' "
"But, you see... what you all don't seem to get is that you CAN'T orchestrate love. Love just happens. You know, I can't believe that I'm about to quote Spike, but I think he had it right. Let's see if I can remember his words. Oh yeah, 'Love isn't brains, children. It's blood. Blood screaming inside you to work it's will.' He definitely had it right!"
"I can't help who I love, Angel. I couldn't help that I fell in love with you. I couldn't help that I didn't love Riley enough. And I can't help that I feel..." she trailed off here.
"You can't help but feel what, Buffy?" Angel prompted her.
"I can't help that I feel.. that.. well, I should have believed Spike when he said he loved me. He's deep, and he understands me more than anyone else. I should have just jumped him and fucked his brains out. I bet he'd be good in bed."
At those words, there was the sound of a resounding slap coming from the kitchen. The eavesdroppers raced in to find Buffy touching her reddened cheek, looking at Angel with tears brimming in her eyes. Angel stood before her, looking ready to slap her again. Both Spikes ran to pull him back, although the Dream Spike was the only one successful in this since the other Spike couldn't be seen or felt by the others in this part of the dream.
"Bloody hell, Peaches. What are ya doin'?"
"I'm sorry, Buffy." Angel tried to apologize, but it didn't sound entirely true. "I just don't like to hear you talk like that, especially about Spike.
"You bloody poof! Quit tellin' her how t' think!" Dream Spike yelled at Angel. "She didn't do anythin' t' deserve this treatment from you. You owe her some respect!"
Buffy was astounded by Dream Spike's words. He was sticking up for her in front of Angel and this made her look more closely at her feelings, but they were still buried deeply inside her. She looked at Angel and said the first thing that came to her mind. "Why do you blame me for this? I was just making a comment. It's not something I've ever done, so why are you acting like this?"
Angel blared out at her words, "Yeah, but Buffy, Spike would not have started this if you hadn't given him some encouragement. He wouldn't think he loved you if you hadn't given him reason to believe it."
Both Spikes, Dawn, and Buffy groaned at the stupidity of this statement, but Angel was so sure he was right that he didn't hear them.
"Angel, you have no idea what you're talking about. I swear I did not give him a reason to think I felt something for him, at least not consciously..."
"So, you admit that you might have done something."
"God, Angel, did you ever think that maybe he could love me without any encouragement on my part? Or do you think that I had some crafty plan going to get him interested in me? You know, like I sidled up to him like this," she slowly went toward Dream Spike, "and I ran my hands down his chest." She then ran her hands down his chest, surprised at how good it felt, while both Spikes gasped at the sensation, even the one she wasn't touching. "And then, I leaned into him, pulled his face down, and kissed him soundly!" She said these words and then did just that.
The room was in complete silence at that moment. Buffy, because she was drawn into the kiss and realized what she had been missing. Dream Spike, because he was being kissed by the woman of his dreams. Spike, because his counterpart was being kissed by the woman of his dreams. Dawn, because she had never seen such passion before, because nothing like this had ever come out of the kisses between her sister and Riley. Angel, because he was disgusted at this display and angered that he had caused her to take this step.
Buffy broke away from Dream Spike with a dazed look on her face and addressed Angel. "And then, I guess you think I sent subconscious signals to him like, 'Spike, love me. Spike, love me. Spike, love me.' Is that it? Because that's the only way I can be held responsible for his feelings. And as far as I know, I NEVER did any of those things!"
"Yes, but you had to have done something to make him see you in that way. You can't be completely innocent in this!" Angel blustered on.
"Bloody hell, poof! Are you gettin' daft in your old age!?" Dream Spike spoke directly to Angel. "You're supposed t' love the girl and you're blamin' her for somethin' she had no control over. She didn't cause this and I didn't cause this. It just is. I don't know how long I've had these feelings, but Dru knew about them for longer than I'd care t' admit. I thought she was just havin' one of her crazy fits, but she was right. There's somethin' about this girl," he turned to look at Buffy with every bit of love in him shining from his eyes. "She's captivatin'. She makes me want t' be good. She makes me want t' change. She makes me want t' be alive. She's a miracle." He turned back to Angel, "I'd die for her. I love her, even though she doesn't want me to. I love her so much and nothin' you or anyone else says is goin' t' change that. So, I suggest you get used t' it. You are no longer the only vampire who loves this golden girl. Damn it all! You know how special she is. She doesn't have t' do anythin' t' get someone t' love her. She just has to exist! The love part comes naturally. She's magic."
Buffy was captivated by Dream Spike's words and was still reeling from the shock the kiss had sent through her. She had no idea what feelings she'd been hiding for this vampire, but judging from her body's response to his lips, she wanted to find out. Now, all she needed to do was rid her house of her ex and her little sister. But, how to do that? Her thoughts were interrupted by Angel's voice.
"Buffy, I need to tell you something. It's very important." His voice was solemn and all eyes turned to him. "But, I don't think we should have an audience." He turned to look at the other two in the room, passing over Spike as if he wasn't there. "Would you two please give us some privacy?"
Dawn and Dream Spike looked at Buffy, who nodded to let them know it was all right. They left the kitchen and went to the living room to wait, but Spike just stood there. He thought he should find out what Angel told Buffy to see if it would help bring her from her dream. When he heard Angel's words, he nearly fell to the ground in shock.
"Buffy, you know I love you. I have loved you for a very long time." Angel looked at her to see her reaction and when she nodded, he continued. "I want to be with you again. I can't live without you anymore." At this, she gasped, shocked by what he said. He didn't wait for another reaction from her, but continued on his discourse. "We don't have to worry about me losing my soul. It has been anchored. So, now we can be together in every way." He said these words while walking closer to her, smiling, as if he was giving her a great present.
Spike stood there and felt his heart drop to the floor. Buffy was gone from him now. She could have her true love without any fears and she'd jump at the chance. His heart was breaking into tiny little pieces when he heard her voice.
"Oh, joy! You mean, now that you can fuck me, we can be together again, huh? I guess I should be pleased at this, but somehow I'm not. Even though it was hard for me to be around you and not touch you in that way, I still would rather have been around you, but you took that choice from me. Now, I'm supposed to act like the last two years didn't happen and just go back to being painfully-in-love-with-Angel Buffy again? It isn't going to be all that easy. You came here and accused me of many things that I didn't deserve and I still haven't gotten over the pain you caused me when you left me 'for my own good'. You know, no matter what you think about Spike, at least he stuck it out. I gave him no reason to hope and he stayed! Why couldn't you have stayed even though it was hard!?" Buffy screamed at him, tears falling down her cheeks.
Spike wanted so much to go comfort her, but he wasn't able to in this part of her dream. She didn't even know that he was there. He thought over what she had said and had a little more insight into how she had been feeling. He also noticed that she had been paying attention to him, even if she denied it. If it wasn't for this Angel interruption, who knows where they might be now?
"Look, Buffy," Angel's brooding voice interrupted him again. "That is not all there is to it." Buffy looked at him with a question on her face. "Even if Drusilla hadn't made sure to tell me about Spike in order to cause me pain, I still would have been up here."
"Yeah? Why?"
"Cordy had a vision. She saw Sunnydale being swallowed up by holes opening in the ground and vicious demons crawling out of them and killing everything in sight. In the last part of the vision, she saw you with your clothes ripped in pieces, lying on the ground crying into some black material."
Spike groaned at this knowledge. That was almost exactly what he had seen when he entered Buffy's dream. This was getting more complicated. This had to be set sometime in the future as none of these events had happened yet, but he needed to find out more in order to help Buffy avert the apocalypse. His thoughts were interrupted by Buffy's voice.
"Is that all? No more details? How do you know it's true?"
"She is sent these visions by The Powers That Be. Sometimes they are very vague on the details and we have to research, so I figure we should go to Giles and Willow for some help."
"Great. Research. I hate research," she grumbled. "I'll call Giles and ask him to give the gang the head's up. Let's go get the others and head over to the Magic Box." She picked up the phone to call Giles and then headed to the living room to explain the situation to Dream Spike and Dawn. While she was explaining, she couldn't stop looking at Dream Spike's lips and thinking how good they had felt on her own. She had to stop herself from jumping on his lap right then and there and having her way with him. Both Spikes were grinning at the looks crossing her face and wished they could grab her right then and there, throw her on the floor and shag her lights out. All three were interrupted by Angel clearing his voice.
"Well, shouldn't we be going?" he said to no one in particular, not liking the looks on the faces of two in the room. He could see and feel sexual tension in the room, and he didn't like this development one bit. He finally got their attention with a few more throat clearings, and the whole troop headed out the door to the Magic Box.

~~TBC~~