Things the Harry Potter Characters Would Never Say
A Second Installation
Dudley: Dad, why can't I have glasses like Harry's?
Hermione: That Professor Vector doesn't know what she's talking about.
Harry: No, Ron, I think Professor Snape is right. I really am a bit full of myself and I should keep my trap shut. He had the right to take away all those points.
Uncle Vernon: Dudley, why can't your hair be more like Harry's?
Aunt Petunia: Dudley, let Harry have the last piece of pie.
Hagrid: Harry, you sit down. Draco, come help me with these unicorns.
Snape: Neville, if you'd like to bring your mark up a bit, I'd be glad to tutor you after class.
Voldemort: These flowers smell wonderful, Wormtail. How did you know that white roses were my favorite?
Hermione: I wish I hadn't transferred to Arithmancy, Divination sounds like so much fun. I've been learning how to read tealeaves more accurately in my spare time, you know I could give you a reading tonight, if you want. My Inner Eye is wide open, and I See that your karma is predicting a sudden death soon, Harry.
Dudley: Don't be so mean to Harry, dad, he never did anything to you.
Hagrid: Just a glass of water please, Rosmerta.
Albus: Well, we can't find a new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, so the job's yours, Severus.
Draco: I think we're a little too hard on Harry, why don't we just lay off him a bit?
Lockhart: I really don't know what I'm doing, do I?
Neville: I could take him with one hand tied behind my back!
Ron: Yay, double Potions with the Slytherins after lunch! I missed Malfoy over the Christmas break, it'll be good to catch up.
Minerva: I dunno, Hermione, go read a book.
Crabbe or Goyle: No, I believe you will find that it is during anaphase, not metaphase, that the homologous chromosomes move to the opposite ends of the cell. After this occurrence, we have telophase, where the chromatids uncoil, the spindle disappears, a nuclear membrane forms and cytokinesis occurs.
***The end***
Well, turns out I don't have to write these things to bug you, you actually like them!
Mother Mercury