Still in My Dress: Soap Operas
By: 290
A/N: I've been told I write like a bad sitcom, so this fic is now going to come out in bad sitcom increments, once a week, every Monday, since Roswell is over anyway and you have nothing else to do with your Monday night since if you're like my brother you still have a bad hangover from the weekend. I suggest downloading the songs so you get the full sitcom feel.
Why do you build me up (build me up)
Buttercup, baby,
Just to let me down (let me down)
and mess me around
And then worst of all (worst of all)
you never call, baby,
When you say you will (say you will)
but I love you still
I need you (I need you)
more than anyone, darlin'
You know that I have from the start
So build me up (build me up)
Buttercup, don't break my heart
~The Foundations
If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like
mine
If it had a home would it be my eyes would you believe me
If I said I am tired of this now here we go now one more
time…
I guess I was wrong now one more
Time this is a sick cycle carousel this is a sick cycle,
yeah
~Lifehouse
"I do not," he said.
"What, Tai? Sorry, I wasn't paying attention."
"I could tell," he said.
"Soooorry. But I'm listening now," said Sora as she crossed her legs Indian-style and turned back to where Tai was sitting.
"I bet I know what you were thinking about."
"You do not."
"Look Sora, you're going to have to call him sometime."
"I am not."
"Don't you think he deserves a reason?"
"I'll call him later."
"You need to call him."
"I'll call him later," she repeated.
"You need to call him now. It's been two days."
"I told yo—"
"Sora, he needs a reason."
"Jesus Christ, Tai. I just, I just…I just cannot do it right now."
***********************************************************************
The arguing, which had been interesting and rather humorous to Catherine at first, had now become repetitive and boring. She had turned back to her cell phone game, and only caught small snippets of the conversation when Mimi's and Matt's voices grew.
"Mimi, you have no point," Matt replied testily.
"Obviously, you are just too dense to understand it."
"I understand that you have no point."
"All I'm saying, is that as a culinary expert, I know these things, and I know what you are eating is disgusting, and therefore you have no basis on which you can find problems with what I drink."
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Tai tried a different course.
"I thought you were rational, Sora."
"I am rational," she protested.
"Then tell me why you left him standing there."
Sora shifted uncomfortably, and turned away from Tai, giving all her attention to the coffee table on which her bare feet were propped. She pretended to study her light blue pedicure. Then she mumbled something.
"I didn't quite catch that, Sora."
"Well, for one thing, he has disgusting eating habits. Did you know that?"
"What?"
"We went out the night before, for desert, and he had raisins and carrots on his ice cream. His ice cream, Tai!"
"And that's why?"
"It disgusted me! It was normal peanut butter ice cream, with raisins, and carrots on it! I started thinking about if I'd be able to spend the rest of my life with someone who put carrots on their ice cream!"
"And that's why you left him there."
She was clearly agitated. Unnerved, she swept her hands through her bright red hair, which was slick and oily from all of the hairspray that had been dumped on it two days ago. "Well, Tai, it wasn't just that. On spaghetti, he would never eat normal tomato sauce, only ketchup. And peanuts."
Tai stood up as he got off the couch. "Sora, you know, I also imagined, if this were to happen, it would be me complaining about some idiotic trivial piece fault of the person I was about to marry, not you. Not you who complained about someone who puts raisins on their ice cream."
"It was peanut butter ice cream. With carrots," she said as she threw a sofa cushion at him.
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The storm of insults between Matt and Mimi had ceased. Everyone had become extremely quiet. Catherine decided that something needed to be done to break the silence. She was sick of playing snake, anyway.
"Finally, you two have finally stopped. You were fighting like a couple zat had beens married for zis long time."
Both Mimi and Matt opened their mouths to protest, but Catherine continued. Their arguing had gotten boring, but maybe if she tried to spark it a little, they'd be back fighting again. It was fun watching them, like watching an American sitcom, the ones filled with funny people who complained about everything. She decided she needed a hard blow.
"Have you spoken to Zora zet Matt?"
"It's Sora, not Zora," Mimi immediately corrected her.
"She hasn't called me yet," Matt mumbled quietly.
"And you have not called her?" asked Catherine innocently.
"It's not an easy thing to do, Catherine. I tried calling her. But then I realized of course she's not at home. She's at…"
Mimi finished the sentence for him. "She's currently at the home of her man of honor."
Catherine knew perfectly well what they were talking about, but she continued playing dumb. "Man of honor? But I thought it was a maid of honor," she said. She could see both Mimi and Matt cringe in perfect, synchronized time.
"Sora's always been different that way, Catherine…" Matt began.
Mimi finished for him again. "Well, Catherine, a maid of honor is like your best friend. But Sora's best friend is a guy. So when she chose her maid of honor, she chose him."
"But," Matt continued, "He was really like the best man really, just, Sora thought it was funny that he was her man of honor."
Catherine pondered over it. "Man of honor does sound better than just groom, don't you think? And so what were you in the wedding, Mimi, if Tai was the man of honor and the best man?"
"I was the best bridesmaid," said Mimi defensively.
"I have never heard of that before," said Catherine.
"Well, Sora kind of made it up for the wedding," said Matt. "So Mimi's feelings wouldn't get hurt."
"She did not make it up, Matt! Sora told me it was just a little known tradition!"
"Well you were just gullible. Obviously, she just made it up," Matt mumbled into his sandwich.
"All of zat is not important zough," said Catherine. "Zee important thing zat we are forgetting is zat Matt's bride is currently at zee home of zee best man. Zee best man!" she emphasized.
"When you think about it," said Mimi thoughtlessly, "It's just like a soap opera. I mean, bride mysteriously stands up groom at alter, bride currently sequestered in the home of her best man. If only one of them was gay."
"I just love soap operas!" squealed Catherine.
A/N: So now you've figured out the title! She's still in her wedding dress! Now you just need to figure out the plot… So, I know you're on the edges of your seats right now, wondering how this amazingly incredible author could do this to you, leaving you with such a cliffhanger, such a cliffhanger…but then you realize that it's not a cliffhanger in the least bit and this isn't an amazingly incredible author and even if I tried to make a cliffhanger it wouldn't too interesting because my story is about a bunch of people complaining and fighting and that it's just actually about cartoon people complaining and fighting in a made up story written by a 14 year old who just thinks peanut butter in general and people who eat raisins in their ice cream are incredibly gross. So then you think, I'm actually reading made up stories about cartoon characters? So then you think, how old am I anyway? Shouldn't I have stopped watching cartoons by the time I was old enough to read? Shouldn't this author be writing a paper about the causes of the Civil War instead of an incredibly long author's note? So then you think, I'm going to click back right now because this author who should be doing her homework does not deserve any praise on my part because all reviews are ego-boosts anyway. But the cool thing about fanfiction is that unlike the show, you can give feedback for the next part of the fanfiction. So please do. 'Till the next time
~annie