I moved to my bed and slipped beneath the covers, trying to look
for some small comfort. No such luck, the blankets were cold and
heavy. They rubbed against my skin and hurt, I had spent hours in
the shower, scrubbing at my skin, trying to get the feeling of
disgust away from me. Every time I paused I would look at my
hands and see the blood there again. Finally I stopped, sitting
on the thick plastic shower base, soap around near my feet and
cold water hitting my soaked head. I had cried again then, it
seemed as if I was getting used to being weak, crying. I turned
off the shower a few moments later and stepped out, skin rubbed
raw and red.
I don't believe in love of course, not any more. I guess I
haven't for a while, just never missed it. No gaping wound,
like people say, nothing like that. Just a kind of...loss of
hope. A void in your stomach, not like a hunger that needs to be
filled, just like nothing.
I opened my eyes, twilight poking its way through my curtains and
hitting my face, I frowned and started to close my eye again
before I saw someone sitting on the end of my bed. I rubbed my
eyes slowly and sat up, clutching the blankets to my front I
stared at...at Dawn.
She is sitting on the end of my bed, hair falling around her face
and staring away into the distance. The moonlight shining on her
expressionless face, making her look pail and sickly.
I can't think, I can't breath, I
ask, my voice croaking.
She can't hear you... Said a voice near the
window. I looked over sharply and out of the shadows stepped a
girl, of about twenty. She had shoulder length dark brown hair,
that had so often been a little greasy, but now just looked
glossy. She wore black leather trousers that clung to her hips
and knee high black snake skin boots that ended with a three inch
heel. Above that she was wearing a dark purple leather corset,
strung at the front with black lace threads. A silver necklace
hung from her neck, a ring hung from the thin chain. Another
ring, black this time was worn on her index finger. Her eyes were
as dark and haunting as ever, mascara and eye pencil accenting
her dark iris's. She looked at me through those eyes now.
I shrieked.
She smiled seductively, deep red lips curving just slightly and a
hand travelling down to her hip as she struck a pose,
That's me...
What are you doing here!? I demanded, And what
is this? I gestured to the still Dawn, Some kind of
sick joke?
Calm down she said in a silky voice. She began to
walk over to my bed, hips swaying with every footfall. I could
only watch in horror as she sat down next to Dawn and stroked her
hair, long painted black finger nails twisting around the ends
before returning to the top of her head again. She murmured,
Pretty little thing.... Dawn still did not seem to
notice and Faith sighed, turning to look at me. Her gaze
analysing and her hand stilled on Dawns head.
I demanded again, my voice wavering a little in
the middle, eyes fixed on that hand. She smiled again,
Calm down...Its just an illusion, both of us are
actually... She broke off and looked a little sad. I
remembered what I had heard about Faith after she had left
Sunnydale and shuddered. Guessing what I was thinking she nodded
and went back to looking at Dawn. After a few moments of silence
I opened my mouth, Why? What are you doing here?.
Faith stood up slowly and walked over to me, bending down to
whisper in my ear, Its not supposed to happen like
this...
Suddenly the room swum, for a second I was sitting there again,
cradling Dawn in my arms and crying. The voice in my head was the
same one as I had heard that night.
The room changed back again and I looked up at Faith
questioningly. She nodded,
That was me...And what I said was right...It wasn't
supposed to happen like that...
Then how was... I began to ask before Faith shaking
her head stopped me.
I can't tell you that...What I can do though..is give
you a second chance, if you are willing to take it...?
A second chance? What do you mean? I asked, confused.
Faith put a hand into the pocket of her jacket and pulled out an
old piece of paper, ragged around the edges. She slowly unfolded
it and turned it so that I could just make out that there was
writing on it.
This is a spell...to push the person who casts it, back in
time. Its not very reliable, but its a chance. If you want to get
back badly enough, then you will
I stared at her, I...I could change things...?
Faith nodded, her hair shivering as she did so,
Yes...but don't fail this time...because if you do
again...there will be no me here to help you...Will you do
it? She asked quietly.
Without thinking about it I grabbed for the paper,
Yes...of course...anything to save Dawn.... Faith
smiled lightly and handed over the spell,
You're a good sister... Her face became serious
again, You can't tell anyone about this.. As I
started to argue she shook her head, No, not even Willow,
you must do all of this by yourself. I sighed and nodded
and again she smiled, One more thing..
Good luck...Now...Sleep She laid her palm on my
forehead, it felt warm and comforting, like a mothers touch, I
looked up at her and she smiled as the room started to fade away.