A Chance To Change.

A Chance To Change...

Part 6: Sacrifice

I opened my eyes. Colours swam around my vision, they might have been scenes from my life, people I had known, my friends, growing up, my mum. Then, in an instant, a flash. I was standing somewhere familiar. The floor was metal, I should have been feeling how hard it was, or heard the clanking as I worked my way forwards, towards I don't know what. But it didn't, I felt as if I was floating along, though my legs were still moving. It was then that I felt the slight pressure on my shoulder, turning my head I jumped in supprise to see Faith walking beside me, with her hand on my shoulder. Delicate fingers squeeze my shoulder slighty but she stays facing ahead, concentrating on where she is guiding me. Taking her silence as a sign I should be also I turn to look where she was taking me. Slowly shapes shift into view, hazy at first before suddenly popping into clarity. In front of me was... was me. I had my back to myself and was talking to,
I cried out.
But my voice made no impact. Turning to look at Faith I said,
What's happened? I shouldn't be here... this is too late, she is just about to jump.
Finally Faith turned her head to look at me, her eyes were sad and her mouth was turned down at the edges, pulling her lips tight.
I demanded, What is going on?
She shook her head and let go of my shoulder, everything in her looks told me that she was not going to answer. I sighed with despair, that everything I had hoped for had gone wrong. That I would not be able to save Dawn, just get to re live the pain all over again. The hand which Faith had taken off my shoulder, she moved to my back and gave me a little push. I took a step forward, and another, until I was standing right behind myself, almost stepping on my heels. I looked at Faith again and she gave a slight nod. Taking a deep breath I walked forward into myself. Its hard to describe what it felt like, I always think of it like two drops of water pushing together and becoming one.

The pause seemed endless as colours, shapes, smells fizzed into view. Everything from that night came back, with shocking familiarity. I never thought that I would remember so well, as I had pushed all images of that night away. The world was frozen for a second longer before popping into action, I quickly grabbed at Dawn's wrist, even if the world was to end, I would not let Dawn kill herself. She struggled against me, her eyes filled with fear and desperation. I can't remember what I we said to each other, words filled with urgency. Until she looked at me, as if she could see right through me, and suddenly it hit me.
Blood...Blood...Summers blood...My gift was death...Blood...My blood.
Dawn asked, her voice trembling.
That's when I said everything, reassured her, told her I loved her. The things I felt, and what she needed to hear from me. As I spoke she shook her head but listened intently, guessing what I was about to do I think. Tears welled up in her eyes and I brushed them away. I was happier than I had ever been, because I had found a way to save the world, and my sister.
When I had finished talking to her she was still shaking her head, still crying, her hair seemed to have grown limp and coarse in the time I had been talking to her. Finally I leaned forward to kiss her once, hug her a little. Then I let go and turned around. I had worked out that my blood would stop the apocalypse, that Dawn need not be hurt. And I ran. Ran towards the growing ball of light and energy. Strangely enough it seemed to be so slow, yet so quick. My words, what I had just said, were still running around in my head. I became very aware of my own heart beat, thumping rhythmically in my head for the last few seconds of my life. My feet made clanking noises against the metal as I drove them down heavily. The ball of energy looked amusingly like the magic I had imagined the night before... or ahead... whichever. Twisting and curling white light, purple and black pulsing through it every so often, lighting up the sky. My foot caught on the edge of the walkway and I didn't think twice, using it as a spring board to jump as far as possible towards the centre of the shining void. I didn't have time to think as I fell, then I hit it, and everything went black.

Dawn walked slowly down the metal steps, the sound of her feet clanking being the only sound she heard. She moved slowly, a little blood still dripping from the two cuts in her stomach. Dreading what she wound find when she reached the bottom of the steps. Everything that Buffy had said, still clear in her mind. Her foot wavered on the last step and she stared at it, unsure what to do, knowing that when she went further down, she would find her life changed forever. Finally the sounds of crying met her ears and she looked up, her eyes widened when she saw Buffy laying there... everyone around her... some crying, some just sitting in silence... and she did nothing, she couldn't. How could she face them when she was the reason Buffy had died? So she just stood in silence, watching and wishing that she had never been born'.